Blood-loss and Refrigerator Doors
For Wrath of Naillil.
Written in 2nd person so that you, dear readers, may picture yourselves in this position. Honestly, who wouldn't want to be??
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You place the bag of groceries heavily on the table, glad to be rid of the significant weight.
Humming a random compilation of sections from melodies that in no way compliment each other, you tread over to the refrigerator and grab a convenient can of soda, slamming the door shut. The freezer swings open from the resulting force. You curse, and with vengeance slam the freezer shut. Of course, this causes the refrigerator to reopen. Cursing again, you shut the refrigerator a tad more gently. It stays shut.
The shower is running. Huh, that seems odd. You live alone….
Well, I guess you had better investigate.
You grab a bat, which for some inexplicable and probably better-left-alone reason is leaning up on a chair that you were sure was empty a moment ago. Holding it up like a club, you slowly advance to the door of the bathroom.
Yes, you look like an idiot. And yes, you could just as easily be holding a kunai, of which there are many in your weapons pouch, and probably yield more effective results. But hey, it is human nature to grab the closest bat when there is someone in your shower. And yes, there is always a bat within grabbing distance. Think about it.
Just as you are moving to grasp the knob to the bathroom door, said door swings open, almost hitting you in the face. In fact, it would have had it not been for the bat, which you had been holding over your head and waving back and forth slightly, preparing to swing.
The door, having hit the bat quite hard, begins an energetic journey back to its original position. It is stopped violently, though. You hear a muffled bang and distinctive male voice say rather poetically, "oof".
This is a problem. There was a man in your shower. There is a man in your apartment. A man. Probably a half naked one, too.
Why would there be a half-naked man in your apartment?
You are a bit frazzled, as made clear by the fact that the only explanation that you can think of is that this man is a pervert come to peep at you.
Some stray, still-coherent thought attempts to point out that if there was a pervert in your apartment then he would a) not use your shower, and b) make sure not to be there so obviously.
This coherent thought is cut off, though, as the man has swung open the door for the second time, though cautiously. Some small part of your brain is brooding over your bad luck with doors today.
Pretty much all of your brain stops working, though, when you see exactly who is standing before you.
He is half-naked, just as you presumed. His long hair is loose. He still has small drops of glistening water running down his toned body.
Yes. Hyuuga Neji is standing in your apartment; wet and wearing only a small towel.
His chest is staring you in the face. Or, rather, you are staring at it. How could you not? Not only is it so perfect that it could have been chiseled marble, but, as mentioned, there are rivulets of water running down it. They accent the already prominent curves, as does the loose hair plastered to his back and shoulders.
Your brain has excused itself, leaving the work of reasoning for the hormones and motor skills abandoned entirely. You cannot move.
"Sorry, did I hit you with the door?" he asks.
You shake your head numbly.
"Good. Uhm, sorry that I'm in here. I just got back from a mission, and, uhm, well, I forgot were I put my keys," he says this somewhat awkwardly. He is embarrassed. Oh, God. He is blushing.
Hyuuga Neji is standing in your apartment; wet, wearing only a small towel, and blushing.
You are slowly coming back to awareness, the first thing that you notice being a strange wetness on your upper lip and an odd, steady dripping sound.
Shoot, your nose is bleeding.
Well, can you blame it?
Neji grins in a mischievous manner. Yes. Hyuuga Neji is grinning mischievously. There is a reason that he does not do this often: you feel a bit faint.
Hastily you wipe the blood from under your nose with a shirtsleeve. Sure, it's not the best way, but handkerchiefs tend not to make as many sudden and timely entrances as bats do. You don't think that it will make much of a difference anyway. The rest of your face probably matches the liquid in color.
The bat has long since been dropped, but the soda can is being held very tightly, no doubt not very pleased with the situation at hand.
It makes its displeasure known by dousing your trembling hand in cool, carbonated sugar water. Full soda cans should not be handled so lightly, and do not appreciate being held in the same hand that is being used to wipe away the repercussions of a nosebleed.
The sudden cold and stickiness brings you back to the present. You stutter a "that's fine" and smile weakly.
A sudden thought occurs to you, "How did you get in? Did I leave the door unlocked?"
He looks at you, seeming perturbed. "You gave me a key."
You mentally slap yourself on the head.
Who forgets that they've given Hyuuga Neji their key?
Who forgets that Hyuuga Neji is their boyfriend?
He cracks a grin again. You go even weaker at the knees.
Really, you should be used to this by now. Clearly, some people are just too damn sexy to get used to.
"Right," you say, still weakly. "Do you… want a soda or something?" you hold up the dented can.
Good girl. Your hostess skills have kicked in. Perhaps your brain has decided to return.
Suddenly the grin turns even more mischievous. "Yeah, soda would be great, thanks," he says politely. There is something unnerving about that smile.
Ah, well. If he's plotting something, you'll find out soon enough… you hope.
He follows you to the kitchen. Apparently he's forgotten that he is still garbed in a towel and nothing else.
Ah well again. You don't mind. He could be walking around the house stark naked and you'd be okay. Well, okay is a bit of a stretch. You would most likely end up hospitalized due to blood-loss, but it would be worth it.
As you bustle about the kitchen pouring soda, he is sitting serenely by the table, observing you closely. Or at least he was every time that you chanced a glance at him. The picture is actually quite amusing; the famous Hyuuga Neji perched on a rather small and rickety stool, legs crossed to cover what the towel that makes up his outfit cannot. Well, amusing or ridiculously blush inducing—it's up to the gender (or sexuality) of the viewer.
You carry the glass over to the table, concentrating on making it not spill. As you get nearer to him, you see that the smile has gotten even more mischievous if possible. As you pass him to reach the table, he gropes you.
Hyuuga Neji groped you. Life rocks.
You squeal very girlishly. He chuckles-- yup, life rocks.
You have put the glass on the table when his arms appear around your neck. Funny, you don't even remember him having stood up.
You feel something warm and somewhat moist. Hyuuga Neji is kissing your neck.
You giggle and attempt to turn to face him, but without warning he takes care of this.
Suddenly you find yourself against the door to the refrigerator, which you had not fully shut before. The force that Neji used to put you there is enough to remedy this, though.
And of course, at the closing of the refrigerator, the freezer swings open.
He either doesn't realize the sudden cool air wafting from it or ignores it, as he is very busy ravishing your quite willing mouth.
He has you pinned against the cool plastic. Good thing, too. Without his support you would be nowhere near standing.
He's normally not this…horny, you idly muse-- maybe it was something in the soda? Then again, he didn't actually drink any….
Ah well, it is certainly not an unwelcome development.
He slides his hand downwards and before you know it, Hyuuga Neji actually is standing in your apartment stark naked.
Maybe you will die of blood-loss after all.
It would definitely be worth it.
-Fin
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You likey?
Well, it was fun to write, anyways.
Review!!! Tell me if the whole 2nd person thing worked out… I wasn't so sure.