(A/N: I apologize profusely! I know I said I wouldn't let it happen but it did. I'm just having major block with my other stories and trust me when I say that I am going insane because of it. Okay, so this is supposed to be a one-shot and I am hoping it works that way, at least for now. R&R. I apologize again.)
Written for/because of Salix15 who wouldn't leave me alone about writing something, haha.
Loosely based off Owl City's 'Vanilla Twilight'
The stars in the sky are still, they may change position every night, but as you look up at them, they're still. They're scattered around the dark canvas sky, just like the thoughts that are in your mind. Sometimes they're visible, bright, and clear, and sometimes they're shrouded in cloud, hidden so they're unreadable; unreachable.
Quinn Fabray loves looking at the stars. She loves knowing that the universe is a big place. The knowledge that there is so much more out there, makes any problems she's having seem so small. But, along with these comforting thoughts come the feelings of emptiness. The feeling of loneliness. But she's not alone. She knows there is someone out there who cares. She knows where they are, and she knows she's not going to last much longer without them.
She knows it's time. It's time to send a wish up to one of these stars. A wish she knows that will disappear along with the star come the morning light, but a wish she hopes will come true. She moves from her bed, searching around her moonlit room in search of a pair of jeans, a shirt, socks, and her sneakers. Her jacket slips on easily, giving her cool skin the warmth she knows she'll need, before she's looking out her window at the stars again. They're bright tonight, and she's thankful that Lima is such a small town considering it provides her with a view of the sky like this.
Her eyes scan the star speckled sky, the moon illuminating her face, while she searches for the biggest star she can find. She finds it just a little left of the moon and she closes her eyes with a deep breath. She's hoping everything will slot into place, she's hoping to fix everything.
She parks her car across the road and pulls out her cellphone. It's late, she doesn't want to risk waking up all house occupants with a knock to the door.
"Hey."
The voice on the other line isn't groggy, but it doesn't sound too excited to hear from her.
"Can you come down? We need to talk."
"I really don't want to do this now, Quinn."
"It can't go on for any longer. I miss you."
"I have to go."
The dial tone rang in Quinn's ear. She messed up, she knows she messed up, but she knows if she doesn't fix it now, it will never get better. Before she knows it, Quinn's opening the side gate, and stepping into the backyard of the house. She tugs her jacket around her a little tighter while she's walking through the yard to a place she's so familiar with that it should be a crime.
Her sleeves are rolled up and she's stepping around a few plants before she grabs a hold of the white painted lattice that adorns the side of the house. The vines that weave through the squares created by the overlapping wood give her hands that familiar prick while she scales the side of the house. There is a soft light coming through the second story window she's headed towards, and she curses herself for not checking if it was open prior to her climbing the lattice. She takes a moment to catch her breath, her hands gripping onto the window ledge while her sneaker clad feet are securely lodged into the squares of the wood.
She smiles as she sees movement beyond the window, a shadow moving about the room. Hoping she isn't denied entry, Quinn taps lightly on the clear glass pane, also hoping she doesn't give the room's occupant a heart attack. Wide, confused brown eyes lock onto her immediately, and she offers a weak window is being opened in a matter of seconds, and Quinn is praying she isn't about to be denied entry because climbing back down is a lot harder than climbing up.
"Quinn Fabray! I thought I told you I didn't want to see you."
"No, you said you didn't want to talk."
"Don't get smart with me. Get in here."
Quinn thanks Cheerios training for the strength she has to pull herself up into the room. Small hands clasp around her bicep as her foot gets caught on the ledge. She straightens with a smile and places her hand over the top of the one's on her arm, offering her thanks. But those hands are gone all too quickly, in fact, they're practically over the other side of the room.
"What do you want?"
"Rachel, listen. Please?"
Rachel Berry chews her bottom lip lightly while her eyebrows furrow. "You never called," she whispers after a short while, "You never told me you were going anywhere, and you never called to let me know after."
Quinn scratches at her eyebrow nervously. "I'm sorry. I should've called, but I was trying to work some stuff out."
"And what stuff was so important that you couldn't even tell your girlfriend about? Your girlfriend of a year isn't allowed to know when the person she loves is going through such a hard time that she just up and leaves?"
"I had to go. It was the only way to work it all out."
Rachel groans out her frustration. They were just moving in circles.
"Just come with me. Please. I know I should've called. I hadn't slept in two days and I made a mistake, but please, just come with me."
Quinn's eyes are vulnerable, her tone is pleading, and Rachel can't find it in her to say no. She's missed the blonde, even if she did a horrible thing, she's still in love with her regardless of the three day sudden absence. So she slips on her jacket and shoes, allows Quinn to lead her downstairs, and before she knows it, they're on the road.
The car ride is silent, and Rachel wonders where they're going while she gazes out the window up at the sky. The road seems to disappear and the journey has turned a little bumpy. Rachel looks over at Quinn, her worries disappearing when the girl smiles at her briefly before concentrating back on navigating the gravel like terrain. She trusts Quinn, and she knows that the girl would not drag her out somewhere they wouldn't come back from.
The car comes to a stop in a small, unpaved car-park. They're surrounded by trees, and Rachel hopes they're aren't any dangerous animals around, because if that was the case, she wasn't moving from the car.
Quinn is at her door moments later, a blanket in hand and a smile on her face while she opens the car door. "Coming?"
"Do I have a choice? Either I go with you, or I say here and get mauled by a bear or something." Quinn shakes her head with a small giggle at the ridiculous statement. "Where are we and why are we here?"
"Just trust me."
Quinn's free hand intertwines with Rachel and they both smile down at the connection. No matter what trouble was happening between them, they knew they were each others home, their anchor. Rachel couldn't help but frown at the fact that they'd soon be heading off to college. While Quinn led her through the trees, she couldn't stop her chest from tightening at the fact she was headed to New York, and Quinn to New Haven. She couldn't help from thinking that Quinn was about to end it all. But Quinn wouldn't do that, right? She wouldn't take her out to the woods, dump her and expect to have a pleasant car ride back.
Quinn notices the slowing in her girlfriend's steps and stops. The smaller girl bumps into her before brown eyes find hers. "It's okay," Quinn reassures her, "We're almost there."
Rachel nods and sure enough, a few minutes later they're at a clearing. The moonlight shines upon them, illuminating they're faces whole they gaze out across the grassy clearing.
"Wow," Rachel whispers, dropping Quinn's hand and taking a few step forward, "How did you find this place?"
Quinn lays out the blanket, gesturing for Rachel to join her when the brunette looks to her for her answer. Rachel sits Indian style while Quinn reclines back on the blanket. She searches for the star again, finding the courage to start explaining everything to the girl next to her.
"I missed you."
Rachel looks down at her girlfriend, whose eyes are fixed on the sky.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving. It was a snap decision. If it helps, I spent the whole time wishing I was with you."
Rachel smiles, "I missed you too. Where did you go? You didn't call or anything, I assumed you died."
"That's because you're dramatic."
"Start explaining, Quinn, or I will kill you right here."
Quinn laughs. She reaches out and urges Rachel to lay next to her. Rachel uses her arm as a pillow and fidgets with Quinn's fingers.
"Look up at the sky, Rach." The smaller girl does as she's asked. "Everything seems smaller, right?" Rachel nods. "Every problem you have seems so insignificant when you look up at the sky. You fail a test? Well, the universe is a big place, you just have to try something else."
"You failed a test? What test? You didn't fail your English final, did you?"
"Quiet, Rach. All your problems can be so small when looking up at the stars. I had a problem, but this one wasn't fading when I looked to the stars. This problem couldn't be forgotten by simply comparing it to the sky. In fact, it made the problem worse."
Rachel listened attentively, wondering where her girlfriend was taking all this."Looking at the sky, in New Haven, would just remind me that you're not with me. That you're out in New York, without me."
"It will be okay, Quinn. We've talked about this. We'll e-mail, we'll call, and we'll Skype. We'll be okay."
"I wouldn't be okay," Quinn mumbles, "I told you I would, but I wouldn't. I'd miss you all the time. It will be easier for you because you'll have Kurt, and Santana, and I'll have no one."
Rachel squeezes her girlfriend's hand tightly.
"I hadn't slept in two days because I was thinking about you. I was thinking about us. When I think of you, I don't feel so alone, but when I was thinking about it all, I did feel alone. I can't just be in New Haven while you're in New York. I can't not have you in my arms every night. I would miss you so much. I would miss you're arms around me while I fall asleep listening to you sing."
Rachel was tearing up now. She didn't know her girlfriend felt like this. Sure, she knew that what they would be going through would be tough, and the distance would kill them, but she never knew how deep Quinn's feelings about it all went.
"I could watch the night turn light blue, but it wouldn't be the same without you next to me. So, I left for a bit. Just to see how it would feel. Guess what? As predicted, it sucked."
Rachel laughed at her girlfriend's sudden change in tact, sniffling slightly while she did so.
"I could barely sleep because I wasn't with you."
"You sleep fine when you're home with your mom and I'm with my dads?"
Quinn shook her head, "This was different. I wasn't just a few streets away, Rachel, I was in a completely different city."
Rachel shot up quickly, looking down at her girlfriend while she tried to figure out where she had gone.
"I was in New York." Rachel's jaw dropped, a million questions coming to mind but none leaving her mouth. "I can't do it, Rachel. I can be so far from you. I love you."
Rachel cupped her girlfriend's cheek and leaned down loser to her, "I love you too," she whispered, "but it's going to happen. You've got Yale and I've got NYADA."
"I'm not going to Yale," Quinn admitted, matching Rachel's smaller girl was at a loss for words. She slowly straightened, her hand still cupping Quinn's cheek and her eyes still locked with hazel. "If you'll have me, I wouldn't mind joining you in New York."
Brown eyes brightened at the suggestion, before eyebrows furrowed and a voice was found. "What about Yale, Quinn? I'm not allowing you to put your education on hold just because you'll miss me. I know that sounds harsh, but I'll miss you too. I'll be suffering too."
"I know, baby, I know. But I'm not putting my education on hold. I went to New York because I wanted to scope out the place. I visited NYU, Columbia, places like that. I talked with the administrative offices and applied. I can go if I want."
"Quinn, Yale is-"
"Just another school to me. I can do the same courses at NYU. I just want to know if you're okay with me going with you."
"Of course I'm okay with you coming with me, Quinn. I wouldn't want it any other way, but I just don't want you to do something you'll resent me for."
Quinn placed her hand over Rachel's on her cheek, "Never. I'm sure about this."
"Really sure? I want to share New York with you, but I don't want you to not like the city and regret passing up New Haven for crazy New York. And what does your mom think? She must think you're making a big mistake."
"You think I would go to a place I plan on living without looking around and getting the feel of it? And whatever my mother would've thought wouldn't have matter, but considering she squealed like a school girl being asked out by the quarterback when I told her, I don't think we have a problem. She knows how much I love you. I'm really sure about this, Rach."
Rachel let out a breath she wasn't sure she was even holding.
"As long as you're sure about this." She got a smile and small nod in response from the blonde. Everything hit her in that moment and she was falling back onto the blanket beside her girlfriend with a groan.
"What is it?" Quinn asked, confused because she was sure this was a happy thing.
"I don't know why you just didn't tell me all this before you left. I could've have given you places to visit and we could've talked about it and-"
"And then I wouldn't have known what it was like to be without you. That was the reason I didn't tell you."
"Still not a good enough reason. I could've contained myself to texting. We would've been doing a lot of texting if you went to New Haven."
"If my voice could reach back through the past, I'd whisper in your ear: Oh darling, I wish you were here."
"You irritate me."
Quinn laughed, "No, I love you."
Rachel smiled, snuggling closer into her girlfriend's side while they both looked up at the sky. Their problems seemed so small again. They were going to be okay.
"I know you love me. I love you too."