Cold. That was the first thing he felt. And maybe extremely drowsy. Freezing tiles pressed into the stubbled skin of Ray Kowalski's jaw. He rolled his body in an attempt to escape the coldness that was creeping up on him. Pulling a heavy arm across his eyes, he was startled into consciousness when a cold metal chain connected sharply with his forehead.
"Ow… what the…?" he slurred, the explicative fell silent as Ray's eyes adjusted to the dim lighting. His heart began beating rapidly as his breathing increased. Working himself up on an elbow, his surroundings slowly came into focus. Four glass walls surrounded him. Ray stood up and wobbled, his head felt like it weighed a hundred pounds. He rolled his shoulders and shook his head to clear his vision, then attempted to straighten himself. Behind him was a ramp, with a sharp incline, to his left a large pipe about six inches in diameter protruded from the wall. Under his feet was a large drain. Shiny, silver and full of a thousand tiny holes.
"What the hell?" the detective stared at the drain and then back to the pipe in the wall. Ray began to take a step towards the metal pipe when a glint of light reflected off his left wrist. He looked down and caught sight of the metal cuff encircling his wrist. Squinting in the dim light, he lifted his wrist to his line of sight. A thick linked chain was secured to the handcuff. Following the chain, Ray quickly discovered he was tethered to some sort of valve on the wall opposite the ramp.
He turned as much as his cuffed wrist would permit, panic setting in. The last thing he remembered was entering the locker room at the station. Earlier in the day, he and Fraser had been part of a team that busted a local gang for drugs and murder. A few of the gang members had escaped in all the chaos with the erupting gunfire. Welsh said not to worry, they would catch them eventually. They got the leader… that was the main goal. In the search of the warehouse that had been part of their hideout, a two chambered tank had been found. A torture device, designed to get someone to talk…
"Oh God…" He ran his free hand through his spiked hair. How had he ended up in what looked like that very tank? Was Fraser safe? They had parted ways before Ray entered the locker room. Their plan was to meet up in a few hours to watch a hockey game at Ray's place. Fraser had wanted a chance to go home and change out of his uniform and Ray was in desperate need of a shower. A million thoughts invaded his head. Had some of the gang members found out who he was? Ray turned to his right and forgot how to breathe. Through the glass wall, separating the two chambers, was Fraser lying motionless on the cold tiled floor. His back was to Ray and he couldn't tell if he was cuffed… or worse… hurt.
"Fraser…" he yelled as loud as he could, hoping to wake his partner. "Fraser…" he tried again, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice. "Answer me dammit… you gotta wake up. Fraser…" Ray turned another partial circle, looking through the clear walls this time. "Come on buddy… I need you to help me figure out how to get us out of here."
A low moan was his only response.
"There's only one way out." A young, cocky voice broke through the silence.
Ray whipped his body around, looking for the source of his confinement. A light turned on outside the tank, illuminating the room and its occupants. He was shocked when his sight landed on two people he knew. Two people he trusted without question. His growing fear abated slightly.
"Michaels? Roberts? What the hell's going on?" Ray turned to a still motionless Fraser, worry and panic rising to the surface again. "And what the hell is wrong with Fraser? What did you do to him? Why isn't he waking up?"
Silence. Ray hated the building silence. The silence from Fraser's motionless body was enough to drive him over the edge. "What the fuck is going on?" he screamed at his captors.
"Are you still afraid of the water Ray?" Michaels asked, revealing Ray's fear to the open air.
Terror pierced him like a knife. Why would they want to know that? And what did that have to do with his current situation and Fraser? Ray whipped his head to the pipe coming out of the wall. 'No… no… no'.
"What did you do to Fraser?" Ray asked again, venom replacing the fear in his voice.
The two young men looked at one another and laughed. "I suppose we miscalculated the amount of chloroform it would take to knock him out."
Michaels laughed from his belly as he stepped toward the tank. The gesture made Ray sick and he wanted to knock the guy's laughing head off his shoulders. "He put up quite the fight. I can see why you have a thing for him. He's feisty."
"Thing for him?" Ray questioned nervously. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Oh come on, Ray. We may be just a couple of rookie cops but we can see the way you look at him. Between the two of us, we thought maybe you should finally do something about those feelings you are keeping tucked away." Roberts joined his partner at the wall of the tank.
"Imagine the wheels that started turning in our heads when we found this tank today. We thought maybe it was finally time for you to tell the Mountie how you feel about him. Consider it…" Roberts turned his hand in the air and looked toward the pipe. He pushed a button on the tank. "Liquid courage."
Water began to flow freely from the pipe and Ray took a step toward the ramp. His tethered wrist stopped his escape.
"Ah ah ah…" Michaels tuffed. "You may want to think this through."
The water was already past Ray's ankles and he was panicking again. "What the fuck is wrong with you two?"
"You should really quit hiding your feeling's Ray." Roberts snickered at Ray as he picked one foot up out of the water and then the other. "Just admit it."
"What business is it of yours?" Ray spat as the water quickly reached just below his knees. He looked to his right and Fraser was rubbing his forehead with a cuffed wrist. If he was going to admit anything to Fraser it wasn't going to be in front of these two goons.
"We all see it. Everyone at the station has a pool going which one of you will cave first. So, we thought we would take matters into our own hands and force you to come clean. This tank was the perfect setup. You can choose to drown… or tell the Mountie how you feel."
Ray stepped backwards towards the ramp, away from the rising water and pulled on his tethered wrist to gain more distance. Fraser's cries of pain brought him back down the ramp.
"Oh…" Michaels tapped on the glass wall. "We didn't tell you how this worked did we?" The two rookie cops laughed again at their prisoners before them. "Every step you take up that ramp, further opens a water valve on the Mountie's side of the tank. The fascinating part about this set up is that he doesn't have anywhere to go. His life is literally in your hands."
Ray watched as Fraser struggled into a sitting position, his right wrist was cuffed with a short chain of about eighteen inches to the floor of the tank. Even if he tried to stand up, Ray realized he wouldn't have more than a few feet before his head would be underwater. The water flow had stopped and Ray breathed a sigh of relief. Until he realized that the water began flowing again into his side of the tank. He took another step up the ramp and the rush of water stopped, only to begin flowing into Fraser side of the tank.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? What kind of sick game are you two playing? Get us out of here." Ray screamed through the glass.
For the first time, Fraser caught sight of Ray. Their blue eyes locked onto one another. Ray could see the fear and confusion in them. He was shivering, struggling to free his cuffed wrist. Ray watched in horror as the water pooled around Fraser's body, realizing that it wasn't just water, it was slush, an icy mixture. Fraser was going to freeze to death before he figured out how to get them out of this.
He clenched his eyes shut against the visions of him and Fraser together. All the buried dreams he'd had of them together naked in his bed, hidden under thick blankets from the world around them. He couldn't let Fraser die before he could make those dreams come true. Before he could be brave enough to tell him what he felt for him. He was about to reveal his soul. He took a step back down the ramp as the water reached Fraser's waist. He was shivering uncontrollably and frantically pulling on his captured wrist.
Water began spilling into Ray's tank again. It was splashing against his abdomen. The water was cool, would have been almost bearable, if he weren't afraid of drowning. It steadily rose up his body until it reached his shoulders and began splashing his face.
"Shit…" he cursed as water splattered his face as he tried to tread water. "Fine… I like the Mountie. Is that what you want to hear?" Ray spit water out of his mouth. He found his footing and took two hasty steps up the ramp. "You got what you were after now let us out of here."
"I don't think you were sincere about that." Roberts pushed another button and the water flow increased on Fraser's side. He struggled to stand, his cuffed wrist bruised and bleeding in the icy water.
"Ray…" Fraser shouted for the first time, his voice full of fear. "What do they want?" He had not been conscious when his captors had told Ray their agenda. Fraser was in the dark.
"Fraser…" Ray turned his attention back to the two cops. "I like him, okay? I like him a lot. I may even love him," Ray coughed and spit as water filled his mouth again. "Turn this thing off before we both drown." Ray couldn't feel the ramp under his feet and fought back the urge to pull on his tethered wrist to gain some solid ground. He knew the price as he watched helplessly while Fraser trembled in the frozen water. How long could he last in the icy water before his body went into shock? Ray had heard countless tales of hypothermia spill out of Fraser's mouth but he couldn't remember the numbers. Was it ten minutes? Fifteen… only five? Ray's couldn't think, couldn't process what was happening because… he couldn't swim and now he couldn't feel the ramp and he was panicking again. Another step back… the water didn't stop. He glanced into Fraser's tank. The slushy water was pouring in faster.
"Ray…" Fraser cried out as the frigid slush reached his chin. "I can't…" Water filled his mouth and Fraser turned an ear into the slush to give himself some breathing room. "I can't… move… I don't… I can't get… the cuff off."
"I love him!" Ray yelled at his captors fear for his and Fraser's safety tearing him apart. "I always have…"
"That's all we wanted to hear. Now what are you going to do about it?" Michaels asked Ray as he struggled in the water.
"I love him… okay?" Ray tipped his head out of the water and sputtered through mouthfuls of water. "I'll tell him… I'll tell anyone that will listen. Now, fucking shut this off before you kill us."
"Turn it off, Tom…" Michaels motioned to his partner. "I think he's sincere."
"Shit… oh God. It's not shutting down." Roberts pressed another button forcefully. "What do we do?" He turned to his partner and threw his hands in the air. "This was a stupid ass idea." Both men began to pace nervously.
Ray saw the terror in the eyes of the two rookies. He knew he and Fraser were in trouble.
The two men stepped away from the control panel. "Shit… let's get out of here. Nobody will know we were ever involved. They will think it was all the gang members retaliating for the bust." The two men back away quickly towards the door of the warehouse.
"No… you can't leave us here!" Ray screamed struggling to regain his footing as the two men retreated. "Shoot the glass, pull the fucking plug. Don't leave!" He stared horrified into Fraser's side of the tank and couldn't see more than his face above the surface of the icy water. His eyes were closed tightly, his lips pressed firmly together only to open briefly to suck in air and… water. 'God, please don't let him drown.'
Fraser had taught him something one day… Ray unfastened his belt buckle and struggled to pick the lock on the cuff. He managed to free his wrist and then remembered… Fraser's voice echoing in his ears.
"Bloom, close… kick 'em in the head… bloom, close, kick 'em in the head…"
He made his way to top of the ramp. He jumped and missed the ledge by a few inches. Ray was desperate and tried again. He glanced to Fraser and didn't see him. 'Jump Kowalski… jump,' he told himself. This time his fingers caught the edge of the glass wall. He struggled and pulled himself up and over. Letting go, he hit the floor with a resounding thud and swore he broke his ankle. From the floor, he scanned the room for something… anything to break the walls of the tank and release the water drowning Fraser. He found a tire iron leaning against a pillar. He grasped it firmly between his two unsteady fists and began striking the glass repeatedly.
"Break… god dammit, fucking break," he swore through clenched teeth. The initial blow sent a spider web break across the smooth surface. Ray stepped to the side and swung with everything he had left. The shattering glass gave way to the tidal wave of frozen water pouring out of the broken tank. Ray was swept off his feet and fought against the torrent of water to find his footing.
When he made it back to the edge of the tank, his heart was pounding fiercely in his chest. Fraser was lying motionless, face down on the floor of his watery grave. Ray jumped the edge of the tank, cutting his forearm on the shattered glass. He rolled Fraser to his back. He was pale. Too pale. Fraser's lips were blue and Ray knew without hearing a hundred Inuit stories that that was bad. Ray felt for a pulse… nothing.
"Shit… no you can't do this to me…" He tipped Fraser's head back, pinched his nose closed with trembling fingers and breathed the deepest breath his lungs could muster into his lifeless partner. His trembling fingers found the magic spot on Fraser's breastbone and he began chest compressions. One… two… three… four… five… His mouth sealed over Fraser's cold lips and he breathed warm air into his lungs. "Breathe dammit…" One… two… three… four… five… The chest compressions counted themselves out in Ray's head. He was choking on sobs as he tipped Fraser's head back again to breathe life into him. Nothing…
Commotion behind Ray couldn't draw his attention away from saving Fraser. A firm hand fell on his shoulder.
"Kowalski… let me take over chest compressions." Welsh's strong voice wasn't enough to tear Ray away.
"I'm not leaving him…" Ray screamed choking through sobs as he breathed for his partner again.
"No one's asking you too." Welsh began compressing Fraser's lifeless form. "Paramedics are on the way. You breathe for him. Someone get me a blanket, some coats… something to warm him up. Hurry up!" Welsh hollered to his officers as Ray forced air into Fraser again. "How long?"
"I don't know… a few minutes." Ray sealed his mouth over Fraser's blue lips. "Breathe dammit… you can't die on me… not now…" Ray forced air into Fraser's lungs again, his chest rising and falling… "Not ever… you hear me… I said breathe… god dammit!"
Sirens in the background caught Welsh's attention. "Paramedics are here… Ray, you're going to have to let them take over."
"No…" Ray blew air into Fraser's lungs again.
"Ray…" Welsh slid back to allow a paramedic to take over compressions. "Let them help him." He placed a firm hand on Ray's shoulder as he leaned forward to breathe life into Fraser again.
Fraser sputtered and coughed water out of his lungs. Welsh pulled Ray away forcefully. "We'll follow the ambulance. There's nothing more you can do."
An officer uncuffed Fraser's limp wrist as the paramedics prepared to move him to a stretcher. Ray heard someone yell for heated saline and he staggered on his feet. Welsh caught hold of his arm and pressed a handkerchief into the bleeding wound on Ray's arm. "You're going to need some stitches, Kowalski. Come on… he's in good hands, let's go."
Ray startled awake when someone covered him with a warm blanket.
"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to scare you. You looked like you were cold." The young nurse stepped back from the chair Ray had fallen asleep in next to Fraser's hospital bed.
He scrubbed a palm down his face wearily and let out a long sigh. "What time is it?"
"A little after midnight." She smiled cheerfully at him despite the hour. "He's doing much better, your friend here." The nurse unfolded a warm blanket over Fraser's sleeping form, replacing the previous one that had cooled off. She adjusted the warm saline IV line that was steadily dripping into his veins, warming Fraser from the inside out.
"Is he going to be okay?" Ray questioned with a quiver to his voice. "I mean he was under for a while and the water… it was so cold."
"He's going to be here for a few days, but he's going to be just fine." She smiled and patted Ray on the shoulder. "Is there anything I can get you?"
"No… thanks." He tried to force a smile, but it wasn't there.
The nurse checked Fraser's vitals, made the necessary notations on his chart and left as quietly as she came.
Ray sat there staring at his partner and twiddled his thumbs around one another in a nervous gesture. "You know, Frase…" Ray began to tell his sleeping partner. "I meant every word of it. Yeah… I'm uh… just sorry that this is how you had to find out." He worked his hands through his flattened hair. "Welsh and the guys, they caught Michaels and Roberts and they're going to make them pay for what they did to you… to us."
Fraser's steady breathing and the beeping from the heart monitor were the only two sounds in the quiet room. Ray could hear his own rapidly beating heart echoing like erupting thunder in his ears. Fraser stirred and Ray sat up, scooting closer to the bed.
"Ray…" Fraser's voice was barely above a whisper.
"Yeah…" He found Fraser's still too cold hand from underneath the covers and tried to rub some warmth into it. "Yeah, I'm here buddy. I'm not going anywhere."
"I'm so… c-cold." Fraser's voice trembled as his body shivered trying to warm itself.
"I know… I know you are." Ray took his blanket the nurse had draped over him and added it to the layers already covering Fraser. "The nurses have some warm blankets and a heated IV thingy trying to warm you up." He squeezed Fraser hand and continued. "Listen, when you get out of here in a couple of days… I'd like to talk about… you know… feelings that I may have for you…"
"Ray…" Fraser's quiet voice cut him off. "That won't be necessary. You owe me no explanation."
Ray's heart was beating rapidly. Did Fraser think he said those things just to save them? "No… Frase, I'm serious. I've been wanting to tell you how I feel for… well for months. But… I didn't want to ruin our friendship if you didn't feel the same way. I could never work up the courage to find out how you felt."
"Please, Ray… don't…" Fraser's blue eyes were pleading and Ray couldn't read the message they were conveying.
"No… let me say this. You're brave all the time. It's time for me to be brave. I think I'm in love with you." He squeezed Fraser's hand reassuring him. "When I looked over and saw you lying there and didn't know what I was going to do to save you without your help. God, Ben… I wanted to die myself."
"You were so brave, Ray…" Fraser whispered, clinging to Ray's hand.
"I remembered what you taught me about the belt buckle thingy and the bloom, close… kick 'em in the head. I wasn't going to let you die before I could find out if you felt the same way. I wasn't going to let you die period… I love you, friend, buddy… lover. I'll take what I can get."
"I'd like to… maybe figure out the lover part." A small smile spread across Fraser's pale face. "Can we try that buddy breathing again?"
Ray wasted no time leaning over Fraser and capturing his chilled lips in a lingering kiss. "I'll buddy breathe life into you any day…"