Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon.
Once, there was a fairy...
Once, Haruka had a fairy in her life. A fairy that moved gracefully on light feet and looked like she was dancing even when she stood still. She swam like a mermaid, darting impossibly swift under water and breaking the surface in a thousand glittering drops. She was surrounded by gems... shining brighter than all.
The most beautiful sight Haruka knew then, was the picture of water drops on turquoise hair.
She talked well, her soft fairy voice making even dreary words sound pleasing. There was wisdom in her words and she hardly ever spoke without thinking. She was worth listening to – and even if she hadn't been, Haruka could have listened to her for hours just to hear her speak. She was bright and clever, and her fairy's mouth shaped witty comments that were sometimes just short of spite, but always right. And she joined Haruka's laughter with her own, melodious and seemingly never-ending.
The most beautiful sound Haruka knew then, was fairy laughter sparkling.
Her hands were cool against hot foreheads, and warm against cold hands. Her touch was fairy soft and light, and when she put her arms around shoulders weary with too many heavy burdens, Haruka would hardly feel the weight at all. When they held each other, she was calm. She had been frightened at first, frightened for that small beautiful being. She had hardly dared to come near, feeling her hands to be too large and clumsy to touch a fairy's cheeks. She learned in time that neither was she as huge as a fairy's presence would have her feel, nor are fairies weak or brittle.
The fairy's hands were artist's hands, and as they traced Haruka's arms or ran lightly over her stomach, she felt herself slipping into a dream – becoming a picture that was being lovingly painted, a new part of herself appearing with every brief touch of fairy fingers. She often wondered what that picture would be like, in the end. Maybe she wouldn't want to see it. Fairy portraits are fair and true, and nothing is hidden.
The most beautiful sensation Haruka knew then, was the feeling of a fairy's hand as it rested calmly on hers.
But there is something about Haruka. No matter how content, she is always looking for new vistas. A maid in a hotel, a girl at a café, an assistant in a shop, maybe even a boy somewhere, sometime. She smiles, and leans against a wall with her hands in her pockets, and she says pretty things and makes them blush. And she waits on her Moon Princess more than any other; hoping always for a chance, a touch, skin meeting skin.
Most of her attempts come to nothing. Maybe it is her conscience that stops her, maybe she is interrupted or refused. But every now and again she steals a kiss and a smile, and breaks a heart. Perhaps she only wants to know she can. Or perhaps she does love them, if only for a minute.
Whatever the reason, there was someone once for whom every glance thrown in another direction meant living in hell, and whose heart was also being broken, over and over.
You can't keep pretending not to see for ever. One day the fairy left.
How Haruka cried, beating her fists against the wall and her head against her fists. How she regretted every false step, every kiss given and every smile snatched. How she wished for her fairy back, calling her name to the night sky. But it was in vain.
The fairy didn't come back. You only ever get one chance with fairies. Once they leave, they leave for ever.
For months, Haruka was alone. She stopped smiling at girls and she hardly ever held her Princess's hands, as she had used to. Because it seemed that every step forward and on would be a step away from fairy days, and with every giggling voice the memory of fairy laughter would fade.
But humans are strong creatures. Although the longing for her fairy was an ache that never quite left her, even on a sunny day in the park with nothing but happy hours planned, she started to smile again. She even put her arms around the shoulders of her Moon Princess, just like she had done again and again without knowing that the fairy watched, and just like in those days she felt the rejection even before the question had been asked. Her Princess would never say the words, was probably not even aware of the unspoken query hovering between them, but if Haruka ever dared to ask the answer would be no. She could never be more than vassal.
Although the knowledge hurt her, she knew it was right.
And there was comfort to be had. There was someone else, living with that constant rejection – and someone who, like her, had pushed away and lost a loved one. Seiya had made a choice, between the Princess of her home world and the Princess of the Earth, and had chosen Earth even while knowing that by her she would never be loved as anything more than a dear friend. They could heal each other, she and Haruka, licking each other's wounds best they could. Although regret only grows more in the company of others, they found peace of a sort.
There were trips to the beach (they'd lie in the sun and soak, but Seiya wouldn't swim because it'd make Haruka turn away, not wishing to recall the sight of fairy glittering) and there were walks in the gardens (Haruka wouldn't try to call butterflies because it'd make Seiya bite her lip unhappily, remembering and regretting). Later, they found new things to do that meant neither of them had to see the shadow of a previous love, and they made new places their own, free from memories. Gradually, they even learned to laugh.
Even if time couldn't completely erase the memory of a love that should have been savoured and guarded, not thrown away, it could dull the pain. And Haruka and Seiya learned to be very fond of each other, treasuring their bond.
If one of them ever called the wrong name in her sleep, they tried not to mention it.
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Hello! This is an old story that I decided to put up here for no other reason than: it's finished, and I thought it was a shame for it to just sit in my documents folder gathering cyber dust. Only you can tell me if it was worth uploading it or no ;)