Hey guys. A lot of you knew Pilali, a.k.a. Ana Karina. She was a close friend of mine on here. As I've already let known, she passed away. Today, I found in my messages, a message her cousin sent me. It was a letter for me he found on her computer that he said i should be given. So i read it. I cried. It divulged a lot of personal things i don't want to get into on here, my AN, but, the one important thing it did tell me was this:

Pilali wanted me to go on with the fic she was writing.

She provided me with a loose plot that gave me some wiggle room, but it told me what she wanted in there. I feel like its my duty to do so. So i am. This is the first chapter, that i beta-ed and a lot of you might be familiar with it. It's the same way it is on her profile. This one is just going to get updated because I am writing that story.

So here it is guys. I have the same title and everything for it. She's... I hope she's gonna like the way it turns out, I do. So here it is, How Beautiful Was Our Heaven . If you've already read this first chappie, you can move onto the next chapter. I don't know how many times i'll update in a week, but i will tell you one thing: I will die first, rather than not finish this story.

IT WILL BE FINISHED. I SWEAR TO YOU AND TO PILALI.

Onward.

The Heavens at its glory, the Heavens I knew, ones with all the beauties that one can imagine, with a view of mountains, oceans, rivers, all kinds of plants and fields, a sky so blue, a world so great, so perfect that one can't describe. Oh! how I remember those days! I was the first to be created I was a being that has seen how it all began. I am not written in any books that man or other creatures know; my existence was to be silent to all. I was just like any other in Heaven. I was an instrument of God for his glorious purpose. I was not a wife or anything that many may think; I was an instrument, like the Virgin Mary, the interfering of divine grace like it happened.

I remember that day I gave birth to His first 4 sons, and oh! how I loved them, obedient they were without any hate in their hearts. Oh! how I loved His sons, before they were given their titles. They were known only as Michael the obedient son, Lucy the loved one, Raphael the helpful one, Gabriel the joyful one. Then I helped to create the others. They were happy to know that more siblings were coming, so they helped me to prepare everything that was needed.

After time went by they were all there, Heaven was filled with what their Father called Angels; but He let me give them names of their own. I have seen His angels, His sons and daughters, laughing, happy, cheerful, without worries. Seen them fly in the sky, walking over the borders of the ocean, in the fields running, watching the flowers and trees with curiosity. So innocent, so pure without any worries at all. I taught them what Love was, real love, the love that is pure and good, the love for one another when it's needed; then loyalty, the one you give to another for eternity no matter what, but for a good cause; then faith, the one that believes without seeing it or understanding it just to believe that it is there and await for you to be. Believing in their father with faith.

Years and more time went by and all were grown and they established their world, their home at it is known today. I haven't give birth in a very good time but it doesn't bother me; most of them were still young and they were needed.

I wish to myself and pray to their Father to make this last forever, but not every life has a happily ever after ending. I remember the day I saw it all, the unfaithful day of man's creation. At first, I thought it was good by their Father's will, but I saw further on his vision as He let me to see and I didn't like it. The way they were, oh it was not good at all! But who was I to judge their Father's will, who was I to step in and stop the ineffable journey that was to come? I was just an instrument for their birth, an instrument for their light, an instrument for their grace to be. But as one, I do worry. I pray, I cry, I wonder what will be of them in their future.

Instrument I am yes, but does that not make me mother? I am a Mother. I give birth to them, His children, my children, my joy, my reason to keep my happiness in secret. Oh yes I remember, I thought of what to do for His children, my children, before the man were to be, before the creation of earth. I view the future to know, to be aware of the happenings of the human destiny and then I knew what I had to do. I went to Him in private without interfering of His children; I spoke to Him and told him what my heart felt of His next creation and what will become of His children. I was not questioning Him, no, never doubted Him, but He knew, as always, and wise as He is, said to me "Fear not. I've seen your grief in your heart, but the man must be as it is to be; this is what must be done".

I bowed before him and said with all my heart, "Then let it be your will."

But before I left He said to me "A 5th miracle is to be done: a miracle of love, faith and loyalty it is, a last fledgling. You will bare a son, and you will name him Castiel for he will do great things for man and heaven and he will be yours to keep as your own."

My heart ached with happiness. After all these millennia I will give birth again, a fledgling a son I can call my own. But still in my heart, I wonder why now? But then I knew, for he, my own son will be the one who will help the ineffable destiny of the man in the future; for he will sacrifice his grace for his Family and his friends of his future.

The Winchesters.

I am proud to know the path of my son for it must be done as it is. I have Faith in his Father's will for him.

And this is the way how it all began; the journey of Castiel, my only son, their only hope.

So there it is, just thought i'd put that out there. This is relavant to the overall scheme of things, although the next chapter might not seem like it is. If there is anyone out there who knew Pilali and would like to indulge in listening to my ideas for HER STORY and would like to be some sort of co-writer or listener, I encourage this. Thanks guys. I just really, really needed to do this and would like your support and the support of the ffn SPN community, because if there's one thing she said in her letter, one thing she had ever described to me, it was her love for Supernatural and its Fandom.

That means US, guys.

So thank you, thank you, thank you. You don't know how much your support it appreciated.

~Heart Torn Out