Author's notes: Hey look Lowri wrote fluff again. Whoops. I sat down at my computer intending to write a doomed-to-fail played-for-laughs assassination attempt and Shuuhei destroying Seireitei with a human motorcycle (a noodle incident which totally happened in canon according to Renji) and I ended up writing ambiguous maybe-one-sided Ishihime fluff instead. In my defence, I'm in the middle of plotting a rather depressing dystopian NaNoWriMo story set firmly towards the cynical end of the Sliding-Scale of Idealism Versus Cynicism and I needed to write something light which wouldn't kill me laughing. :)
Tatsuki heard the door up the corridor click and sat upright, her back straightening against the wall she had been leaning against as she and her unwanted company waited for Orihime to emerge from the handicrafts club room at the end of lunch. Sure enough, the door-handle turned and the club began filing out, many of them clutching folded-up squares of fabric.
"Hey, Tatsuki," the girl next to her said. "There's 'Hime!"
Tatsuki rolled her eyes as she stood up. "Trust you to immediately spot Orihime, you lecherous fiend," she retorted, surveying Chizuru with an expression of deep disgust. "Even I can't see her from here, and my senses are top-notch."
Chizuru frowned lightly at Tatsuki. "Of course I can see her. She's at the back of the group, talking to that weirdo Ishida."
Sure enough, the group began to disperse and Tatsuki could see that Chizuru had indeed been right. Subtly grabbing a fistful of the back of the girl's blouse, so she couldn't rush off to molest her innocent target, Tatsuki tilted her head slightly as she noticed Ishida pushing up his glasses, a hint of a smile playing across his mouth. Interesting. Also likely a mistake on his part, Tatsuki thought, her fist clenching slightly tighter.
"Tatsuki, doesn't it seem to you that Orihime has been getting awfully close with Ishida recently? I don't want competition!" Chizuru wailed, her voice becoming higher-and-higher pitched.
Tatsuki blinked. While she was certain that Orihime had no interest in the boy, she didn't like the combination of Ishida's odd behaviour and the fact that Chizuru of all people was entertaining the possibility of his interest. After all, Tatsuki had to admit that the perverted lesbian was even better than she was at sniffing out wannabe-suitors for Orihime.
As Tatsuki pondered this, she glanced towards her friend best friend and saw Ishida utter a farewell and lightly touch Orihime's shoulder, before beginning to walk away from her.
"Heck no," she growled under her breath, seizing her bag from the floor and beginning to run in the direction of Orihime and Ishida. "Yo, Orihime!" she called as she dashed past, feigning a cheerful voice. Orihime's greeting in response was lost to Tatsuki, however, who rushed right past her and clamped a hand firmly over Ishida's own shoulder. "You're coming with me, Ishida," she declared, before turning back briefly to wave at her friend. "See you later, Orihime!"
Tatsuki ignored Ishida's splutters as she quickly dragged him down around a corner. Just as she was about to push him into the nearest ladies', she heard a cry of "Hiiiiime!"
"Aw, crap," Tatsuki muttered, attempting to convince herself that Orihime could handle herself for a minute or so. "Get in here, Ishida."
Tatsuki roughly shoved the boy through the bathroom door and walked in herself after him, standing in front of the door so Ishida couldn't escape. Ishida quickly gave up struggling, opting instead to cross his arms and look disdainfully at Tatsuki over the top of his glasses. "You do realise that this is the girls' bathroom, right?"
"Yep," Tatsuki said matter-of-factly. "I reasoned that nobody would know the difference anyway, seeing as how that hair makes you look like Hikari Yagami."
"Charming," the boy responded coldly. "Was there a point to my kidnapping or am I free to go, now I have suffered the indignity of being forced into the girls' bathroom against my will?"
Tatsuki narrowed her eyes.
"Because let me assure you," Ishida continued, a note of monotonous boredom in his voice. "There is nobody on the planet who would be willing to pay a ransom for me."
"I don't want a ransom, I want information," Tatsuki said before she could stop herself. This time, it was Ishida's turn to narrow his eyes.
Right, Tatsuki thought, it would be really easy to just ask him if he's interested in Orihime, but that would just get him all defensive. Defensive is bad, I don't want to have to carry an unconscious Ishida all the way down to the nurse's office. Although, he's so skinny, he probably wouldn't weigh all that much...
Ishida raised an eyebrow, and Tatsuki realised she would have to say something quickly.
"What type of person do you hate the least, Ishida?"
Tatsuki realised these were the right words when Ishida turned away, refusing to meet her eye. "I don't know what you mean," he said, the cold note in his voice stubbornly persisting.
"I mean," Tatsuki said, slowly, "what are the character traits you value the most in a person in general?"
Go on, say you like large chests and stereotypically-feminine ditziness. I have decided that I could do with somebody to practice my throw on...
"Well, that's an easy question," Ishida said, the quickness of his response not quite hiding the guarded edge to his speech. "I value creativity."
Tatsuki blinked, surprised by the promptness of his answer. "Go on."
Ishida unfolded his arms and quickly pushed up his glasses with his left hand. "Creativity is nearly everything in a person. Their openness to new experiences, how easy they find it to think outside the box, which, coincidentally, is linked to intelligence, another highly desirable trait in a person."
Tatsuki found herself unable to respond, intrigued by the fact that as Ishida spoke, his voice was losing its hard edge.
"In fact," Ishida went on, "open-mindedness and intellect combine pretty nicely to create thoughtfulness. The best type of person is a person who is able to think deeply and critically about something in an objective way. Of course, kindness is also key."
Ishida didn't seem to notice that his arms had left their position by his sides and were now waving themselves around in the air as his monologue continued. "The sort of person who would do anything for anybody is the sort of person you would want to have on your side." Tatsuki cleared her throat pointedly. "Of course," Ishida continued hastily, "that doesn't mean that such a person would be there to be taken advantage of, I can't think of anything more objectionable." Tatsuki's half-smile returned. "In fact, it would probably be quite a challenge to prevent such a person from sacrificing their own happiness for other people, but challenges are always nice."
This guy, Tatsuki thought, listening intently to Ishida's speech. Perhaps he isn't as objectionable as he would lead everybody else to think he is. Still, I'm not convinced yet...
"Of course, the most important trait for a person to have is strength," Ishida said, before falling silent.
"What exactly do you mean by that?" Tatsuki asked curiously, scrutinising Ishida's face.
The boy took a cloth out of his pocket, removed his glasses and began cleaning them, his bare eyes opening wide as though to take in an entire landscape, his usual expression of intense concentration changing slightly almost to one of conveying some deep message. "Strength doesn't necessarily have to be pure power. The way I see it, strength is more about internal values. To me, strength is being able to make a difference, however weak you may feel. Strength is doing the right thing, even though you know your efforts will likely go unnoticed and unappreciated. Strength is having the courage to be oneself, however you are treated by the world as a whole for doing so."
Tatsuki took an involuntary step back, her eyes widening in amazement as the boy in front of her replaced his glasses and adopted a neutral expression.
He totally gets it, she thought. Yep, okay, I'm convinced. He deserves her.
"What do you mean?" Ishida asked, quickly.
Crap, did I say that out loud? Tatsuki wondered.
"Yes, you did. I don't know what you're talking about. May I leave, now?" Ishida enquired, the standard cold note returning to his voice.
"Yeah, yeah, do what you like," Tatsuki said, moving from the doorway and letting the boy past. Tatsuki barely heard the sound of a passing gaggle of girls gasping as Ishida stumbled out of the ladies', she was so focused on Ishida's words which had burned themselves into her brain.
"Hiiiime!"
Chizuru launched herself at the surprised Orihime, throwing her arms around the girl as tight as she could. However, she quickly let go when she felt a sharp pinch on her tricep.
"Ouch! Hime, what did you do that for?" Chizuru cried. "Don't you love meeeee?"
Orihime gasped, her eyes widening in horror. "I'm so sorry, Chizuru!" she exclaimed. "I didn't realise that would hurt you! I was just doing what Tatsuki told me to do when you next tried to hug me..."
Chizuru fumed, making a mental note to get Tatsuki back for denying her a hug from Orihime.
"Was there something you wanted, Chizuru?"
Looking up, Chizuru saw Orihime gazing at her in concern. Considerably cheered by the princess' attention, Chizuru grinned back maniacally. "Only your body, 'Hime!"
Orihime frowned lightly. "I'm sorry, Chizuru, but I kind of need my body," she said, with a nervous laugh. "How else would I walk around and do things? I don't even have a gigai I can give away, much less a Soul Reaper form to walk around in!"
Oh, 'Hime, you and your imagination... Chizuru thought to herself, as Orihime finished her speech and petered off. Now, how can I gauge her level of interest in Ishida and see how much of a chance I stand?
"My darling 'Hime, what do you like in a person?" Chizuru blurted out, noticing how Orihime's brow slightly furrowed in response.
Orihime placed a finger on her chin in thought for a couple of seconds, before grinning and clapping her hands together decisively. "That's such a silly question, Chizuru! I thought you already knew that my favourite people are princely people!"
Uryu Ishida = out, Chizuru thought. I almost feel sorry for the poor bastard.
"Seriously, though," Orihime continued, her smile spreading even wider. "I really like people who are kind and generous, who will go out of their way to protect somebody even though they really don't have to. They should also have a good sense of humour, even if they scowl a lot and try to hide their uncontainable goofy side. It also helps if they can hold their own in a fight - you never know when you're going to be challenged to a fight to the death by masked men with katanas!"
Chizuru blinked. "It sounds like you just described... meeeee!" she squealed, dragging Orihime into a tight hug and reasoning that even if her cloud-cuckoolander had just perfectly described Ichigo Kurosaki, it would be easy enough to emulate his behaviours and win her heart with this new information. Orihime nervously patted Chizuru's back just as Tatsuki reappeared, grabbed a fistful of Chizuru's blouse and began dragging her backwards.
"I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, Orihime," Tatsuki said airily as she once again disappeared behind a corner, a classmate in tow. "I just need to discuss manners with this lout and I'll be with you in a second." Chizuru gave an unintelligible wail as she was practically thrown into the toilets.
"What have you learned?" Tatsuki asked firmly, her forced smile being replaced by a thoughtful expression as soon as the door had closed behind them.
"She perfectly described Ichigo," Chizuru pointed out. "She says she likes princely people with a sense of humour and a goofy side. Especially if they can fight and protect people. Or something." Chizuru scratched her head. "At least I know what behaviours to emulate now. Doesn't that description sound exactly like how she's always describing Ichigo? I mean, Ichigo always seems so frowny and uptight, but that time at school when he jumped through the window hinted quite heavily towards a sense of humour and goofiness..."
Tatsuki frowned lightly. "Yes, that does seem to sound like Ichigo, doesn't it?" she parroted wistfully, considering Ishida's response to her dragging him into the toilets. He had gripped the arm dragging him in exactly the right place to cause a bit of damage if he had chosen to fight back, but hadn't actually retaliated. Perhaps he really had been willing to sacrifice his dignity in order to avoid hurting her..?
"Anyway," Chizuru said lightly, her voice only just reaching Tatsuki through her thoughts. "I think we can stop worrying now. Ishida's the most uptight, rude, weak and selfish person in the entire school. He wouldn't be princely if he had a king for a father. Besides, he clearly only likes Orihime for her body. There's no way she'd go for him."
Tatsuki waved a hand at Chizuru in dismissal, not even reacting to the hypocrisy of Chizuru's "body" comment. As Chizuru exited the bathroom, huffing about Tatsuki ignoring her, Tatsuki frowned at the wall, only the eventual pervasive thought of Chizuru molesting a defenceless Orihime dragging her from her deliberations of Ishida's newly-hinted at hidden depths and back into the corridor to rescue her best friend.