Hello,

During the last days I was feeling sad. I don't know why. I don't know what was the thing that caused it. Actually I am happy and crazy person but sometimes everyone has his little breakdown, right? That's why I wrote this story. The idea was in my head for a long time and I wanted to use it to relieve and ease my sadness. I hope you will like my short story.

If it makes you sad, I am sorry. If you like it after all the sad sentences, please, give this story a review even if it is a short one, positive or negative one. I want to know what you think.

P.S. Thank you, Arones, for your help and your correction.

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Bitter Taste of Goodbye

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By Sammie

If we only had thousand years.

It felt like they had known each other for thousand years. She didn't know how many years they had stood by each other's side. It wasn't the most important thing to know. She was happy she had a chance to work with him; that she had a chance to get to know him. He was a part of her family. The relationship she had with him was even stronger than blood could ever be. She could recall every single moment when he saved her life or when she saved his. Thinking about their history, about their missions, about the happy moments they were sharing all the time made her cry. Even if she didn't want to taste the flavour of her tears, she couldn't stop it. Drop after salty drop ran down her cheeks.

Helen was glad that Will couldn't see her. Standing outside of the infirmary she was crying, and the photo of her and an old man who was standing next to her, was calmly laying in her hands. Her eyes were locked with the face of an unknown old person on the glossy paper. He wasn't unknown for her. Maybe his body and face looked little differently but still it was the same man she always knew.

Tiny figure, grey hair, small blue eyes, little smile and wrinkles all over his face. She didn't care about his age; she didn't mind him being old. Everytime when he fell asleep during a staff briefing or when he closed his eyes siting next to her near to the fireplace, she acted like she didn't notice. Helen didn't want him to do anything that would hurt or weaken him. She respected him and his advanced age.

Actually if she could be honest with herself, the older he got the more she liked him. From a young protégé there was a man: a very handsome man. She had hidden feelings for him, but she never had the „right" opportunity to tell him. Well, she had a lot of opportunities but according to her age and many other things that were standing between them she wasn't willing to tell him. She had to admit it, she was also afraid of telling him. There was too much at stake. Friendship, their working relationship, and their ability to talk about everything.

And now she was asking the questions she was always afraid of.

„Should I tell him the truth as long as I can?" Or as long as his heart beats?

She turned her head toward the room where Will was lying. She knew it was an end of their journey. Many years passed and no wrinkle appeared on Helen's face, but Will's life was almost at an end. They both knew.

Helen could feel his sadness through the look in his eyes. Even if she was siting right next to him, she couldn't stop the feeling of lonliness. She prayed for him, she wished she would be able to find a substance which would keep him alive as long as she would be walking on Earth. She absolutely was not ready to let him go.

The door opened and she walked in. The weight of the room fell straight on her shoulders.

„Can I open the window?" she asked him because she didn't know what she should start a conversation with.

„Yes, of course you can. I'm not ill, Helen," Will answered and tried to push himself upward on his bed. Helen opened the window and came to his side.

„Stay calm, Will." With those words she laid her hand on his shoulder to convince him to stay where he was. Their eyes met for a moment. If their eyes could speak they would have known everything. One look was sometimes more than a thousand words. After an awkward moment of silence, Helen took Will's hand and squeezed.

„I'm with you and I am not going anywhere, I promise." She said, and a little cute smile appeared on her lips. Will tried to reciprocate even a little smile, but the pain he felt all around his body didn't let him. His deep look into hers eyes told her everything. She didn't need him to say anything, she knew. Helen took a chair that was right next to Will's bed and she sat down as close to the edge of the bed as she could.

It was hard for Helen to attend the end of her best friend's life. She lost a lot of friends and lovers, but this time everything was different. She felt like she was losing a part of herself, like she was dying with her friend. Everytime she buried her lover in the past, her heart was broken, her eyes were crying and the love she felt for that lover wasn't pleasant, it morphed into pain.

Her heart was beating rapidly and mostly audibly and she was sure Will could hear it. She was still holding his hand and her eyes didn't leave his. If he had any wish she would do everything to make it happen. But she already knew his last wish and it was as simple as breathing.

„Please, stay with me no matter what happenes." with these words on his lips his hand moved and touched her face softly. Helen closed her eyes. The skin of his hand was cold and his fingers were shaking. They both were certain his time has come.

„I would never leave you," she said and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. He closed his eyes. „Will," Helen opened her mouth to speak, but Will stopped her.

„Please, let me talk to you," she added and moved closer to him. Now they were so close that both of them could feel the breath of the other. She was nearly whispering into his ear.

„I am so sorry, Will." Her words hurt him because he knew what she was going to say.

„I don't know if it's the right time to tell you, but I am afraid if I don't I would blame myself for not telling you." Thoughts were moving randomly in her mind and even now she couldn't convince herself that this was the right time to show her feelings and reveal what she had been hiding for so long. She swallowed heavily and her fingers went through his hair. She was nervous. The heart was beating so fast that she could hear it in her ears. Raised blood pressure made her feel dizzy and anxiety kept depressing her from within.

„For a long time we were good friends, family even, but during the years that passed I started feeling something different and stronger than friendship. I fell in love with you." She stopped and Will's hand moved to her cheek. He dried the tear drop that ran down her face.

„I know," he said quietly.

The same moment the words came out from Will's mouth Helen lifted her head and her eyes met his.

„What?" She asked. His voice was silent, but she heard what he just stated.

Her inner voice was trying to stop her, but her heart was telling her something completely different. She got up from the chair she was siting on and came closer to his face. Her lips touched his quickly at first. She took a deep breath and she pressed her lips gently to his and kissed him. After a few seconds when she was waiting for his reaction, she felt his lips on her mouth.

„I love you," he whispered during the embrace. He felt the softness of Helen's lips, he felt her breath against his skin and when her fingers went through his hair, goose bumps ran all over his body.

„I love you too."

The squeeze of her hand weakened. Will's eyes stayed opened. His chest wasn't moving. Tears were falling from Helen's eyes. He was gone.

Helen wasn't trying to dry her cheeks because new tears would fill her eyes and pour over. She closed his eyes carefully with her fingers. He died, but her love for him was still there. In the room, and in her heart.

THE END