He always kept me waiting. I stood in the cold, eerie darkness watching for him. Anxiously, I looked around, thinking over what I should say. Should I delve right into my anger or try and stay calm? The lake's bluish light was the only thing I saw. I had blown out my lantern, as he told me I must. Every sound I heard makes me jump. I dared not move for fear of getting lost or almost drowning again. I was still rather surprised he consented to meet with me. He materialized before me very suddenly, from a place completely unseen, carrying his 'magical' lantern. He truly was like some kind of specter…
"There you are." I said impatiently, "It's about time."
"I come and go as I please." He replied smoothly, appearing at my side in an invisible sweep of movement. "You know that, Daroga."
"Yes, punctuality never was one of your strong suits, was it?" I clasped my hands together, nervously twisting at my rings. I felt his ever-present gaze upon me. His mysterious golden eyes glowed in the dark behind the white mask, illuminated by the lantern.
"You wished for us to speak, Daroga?" he inquired coolly, folding his arms beneath his black cloak.
"I did, Erik," I swallowed, moistening a dry throat, "And I am certain you can assume why."
I watched him carefully and I swear that his eyes glinted, just for an instant, with dread. Yet he immediately managed to mask all emotions with his famous indifference.
"I honestly do not." He gave a shrug and took a few steps ahead of me, holding out his lantern to look at the lake. "I see that you managed to steer clear of the lake this time." He glanced back at me with a smirk.
"I am so pleased that my almost drowning amuses you so." I snipped at him sarcastically. Giving a silent laugh, he turned back to look at the lake. He was avoiding my eyes, I knew it.
"So what is it that you want?" he demanded briskly. "Because, quite frankly Daroga, I have things to do…"
"Oh, really?" I asked, quite suddenly, sounding extremely harsh and derisive. "Things like spying on a young girl in her dressing room?"
I saw his whole body tense at my accusation. He fell into a stunned silence. The dense, cold air around us became impenetrably quiet. Though I could not see his face, I could tell that he was struggling profoundly for a lie, an excuse, for anything to save himself. I felt my anxiety being quickly replaced by anger.
"Well, Erik?" I snapped, trying to coax an answer out of him. He spun around, cloak billowing, and held the lantern up so he could see me. Keeping himself perfectly steady he replied;
"I have no idea what you are talking about."
I scoffed mirthfully at this. "Don't you dare pretend to be ignorant, Erik. I know about her."
"About who?"
"Christine Daaé!" I shouted at him in frustration. "I know that you have been teaching Christine Daaé."
He looked down at the ground, pained to admit the truth to me.
"So I have."
"How could you do this to that girl? Pretending to be an Angel sent by her dead father? It's ridiculous! It's absolute insanity!"
"How do you know-?" he began to ask, looking quite startled.
"I hear things." I cut him off fiercely. "You are not the only one who hears things around here. It isn't hard to miss the chattering of those ballerinas. Those girls can't keep their blessed mouths shut. Especially the ballet mistress's daughter, the one who appears to be very close to Christine Daaé…"
"Meg Giry came up to you, a perfect stranger, and relayed this information to you?" he spat at me furiously.
"I told you, I simply hear things. I too have a talent for making myself invisible, Erik. Perhaps you remember."
He sat the lantern down on the ground, his jaw clenching with visible anger even beneath the mask. For a moment he glowered and then proceeded to rip into me as I knew he would.
"Why the hell do you care what I do? We are not in Persia anymore. It isn't as if I am some barbaric fiend trying to seduce an innocent child for my own pleasure. I have been helping her. I have made her into something wonderful! Have you not heard her sing? Have you not seen her?"
I nodded seriously. "I have heard her sing. When I heard her there was no question. I knew there was no way any ordinary teacher could have taught her to sound like that. And yes, I have seen her. She is idyllic; perhaps the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."
"You have no right to speak of her beauty!" he retorted possessively. "You cannot even fathom it."
"I have seen enough and I know about women, Erik. And about human nature."
"You hardly know enough." He snarled, shaking his head.
"I know enough to realize that the only way that ethereal creature could ever be in your presence without running away in fear, is by deception." I told him, firmly standing my ground, "She has not seen you, has she?"
A very rare look of vulnerable fear filled Erik's eyes. Anyone could have seen it. No mask could hide that look, a look I had only seen once ever before.
"I thought so." I raised my eyebrows, feeling secure in my correctness. "You pretend to be an Angel so she does not have to see you."
He sighed imploringly, "You should have heard her Daroga…she was so lonely and upset. She needs the Angel."
"But you, a disfigured, murdering extortionate? She does not need that, Erik." I told him grimly.
"Yes she does!" he insisted desperately. "To her, I am the Angel of Music! She needs me; she wants me in her life. You have no idea what that means to me. And I…I need her too…"
He quickly looked away from me, as if embarrassed. As confused as I felt at first, it did not take long for the horrible realization to dawn upon me.
"Allah, no…" I murmured, covering my mouth in fear, "You…you have fallen in love with her."
"Is that so terrible?" he asks heatedly, his voice rattling with buried grief.
"You could be her father, Erik."
"I know that."
"It's not right…it's completely inappropriate. She's so young and innocent…"
"I know that." he repeated irritably.
"She'll never return your feelings." I said bluntly. He glared at me, breathing heavily.
"You do not know that." He hissed. "Who are you to make assumptions?"
"I am not making assumptions!" I found myself shouting again, "Erik, this has to end! You must end this!"
"I cannot!" he yelled back at me, looking as if he wanted to strangle me.
"Yes, you can! You just won't. You won't end this because you are the most selfish human being in the entire world." I didn't care that I was being a miserable bully. My anger with him could not even be explained. He had promised me to never do anything like this. He had sworn!
"I don't give a damn what you think!" he roared, kicking the lantern into the lake in his fury. We were plunged into darkness, but I could still see the madness before me. "She wants to see me. She is different. She isn't like other people. You think I will never reveal myself to her? Well, tomorrow night after her performance I have promised to come to her. And I will not break my promise. She will see me, and she will not be afraid."
I had no will to shout anymore, no will to even be angry. But I felt an immense sadness upon my shoulders. No matter how much he convinced himself, no matter what he did, it was too good to be true. There was no way this could end well. I knew nothing I did would solve anything, but I forced myself to beg him one last time.
"Erik, please end this. You need to end this. If you care for the girl, then you will."
"No, I cannot. I cannot end it."
I inhaled heavily, breathing in the tragedy around me. "Then you will destroy her."
There was no answer. I did not know whether he was gone or not, but I left. I made my way through the darkness, having no more matches for my lantern, and out the Rue Scribe gate. Exhausted, I hailed a cab to take me home to the Rue de Rivoli. The entire ride home I could only think of one thing.
I wish I had let him die. It would have been far less painful then what he is about to endure.