Morgan, Reid, Prentiss, and JJ had gone out for what was supposed to have been a nice quiet dinner, but turned out to be more of an excuse to talk about all things juicy, exciting, and sexual.

Prentiss eyed up her potential candidates for her next undoubtedly awkward question. She thought about Reid, but knew he wouldn't give anything away. So she did the next best thing and asked his lover.

"Morgan... Lights on or off?"

Reid sipped at his coffee and appeared to be disinterested in the conversation. Morgan laughed. "Either or. As long as I have my Pretty Boy there, I'm happy." His put his arm around Reid who smiled at him awkwardly and tried not to look at the girls sitting on the other side of the booth.

"Aw, you're such a dork," Reid said.

"I'm a dork, now?" Morgan asked.

Prentiss smiled. "Yes, yes you are. Not to mention a total suck-up."

"Alright then. Let me ask you something then, hot-shot. Top or bottom?" Morgan asked.

"Bottom," Prentiss said confidently. She was a girl that didn't need to hide.

"Wow," JJ said. "I would have thought top, for sure. I thought you would like to be in control."

Reid laughed. "Please. That's such a myth. Control actually has no correlation with who's on top. There's always one sexually dominant partner that never changes throughout the course of the relationship, whereas you can change who's top or bottom at will. The complex aspect of who is 'in control' is nothing so simple that can be determined by simple positioning."

Morgan nodded in agreement while eating a fry. The two girls' mouths hung wide open and they were shocked into total silence. Then they started laughing hysterically.

"What?" Reid asked, defensively.

"I'm sorry, but I just never expected you to break out into a conversation about sexual control. I'm still not used to the idea of you being a sexual being," Prentiss explained.

JJ nodded. "Yeah. Sorry, Spence but something about you seems to inherently contradict anything sexual."

"I'm plenty sexual!" Reid replied a bit too loudly. People had started to stare. Morgan laughed.

Spencer hung his head down. "I guess I can't blame you. I mean, for the longest time Derek laughed at me every time I tried to talk dirty to him."

"Wait. Spencer Reid are you meaning to tell me you talk dirty?" JJ asked, sharing a look with Emily. "We should have been filming this Em! No one's ever going to believe us."

"Not dirty! Just... whenever I told him to take his clothes off or that I liked what he was doing, he would just... Well, you know," Reid tried to explain, turning bright red.

Morgan poked him in the stomach. "It's not like you never laugh at inappropriate times, darling."

Spencer, of course knew exactly what he was talking about. "That was like one time!"

"It was several!" Morgan complained.

JJ and Emily's eyes lit up like children in a candy store. "Tell us!" JJ said.

Reid was afraid to speak, but figured he probably couldn't be any more humiliated. This time he kept it to a whisper. "Let's just say laughing as your significant other orgasms isn't something they're typically too thrilled about."

The girls went into another long fit of laughter. Morgan looked rather uncomfortable.

"You didn't, Reid!" Prentiss said.

Head still hanging low, Reid replied, "Yes, I did..."

They sat and ate in quiet for a while, the men clearly ashamed and the women clearly still thinking about what they had been talking about.

"So, Reid. If you supposedly have only one sexually dominant partner, what happens if you switch it up and decide the other one gets to take charge?" Prentiss asked.

"It doesn't matter. I would still be in charge because he would never do something like that without my permission..." Spencer was about to continue on with one of his rants when he realized what he had just revealed. He put a hand to his mouth as if to try to contain anything else. There was no point. He had already blurted out the worst of it.

JJ squealed. "You're the sexual dominant!"

"Say that a little louder, I don't think the whole restaurant heard," Reid groaned.

Morgan laughed and slapped him on the back. "It's true. Spencer is always in control."

Reid buried his face in Morgan's shoulder, trying to hide from society. He replayed everything he had said and was devastated that he had let so much slip. He wasn't sure he would be able to face his coworkers the same way ever again.

One thing he was sure of was that Garcia would be pissed she had missed out on that particular 'quiet dinner.'

A/N: This is the kind of thing that runs through my head like, 24/7. Seriously. I hope you liked it! I always see these stories with suggestive summaries that end up being not sexual and it's always funny. But not mine! For me it's all sexual, all the time!

Please, please review and I will love you forever. Oh, and Reid totally talks way dirtier than that, he just didn't want the girls to know! ;)