This is my first slash fiction. I used to not like slash, but YGOTAS said no. So now I like slash. I really hate old me. Old me was a noob.
Life's never fun for me.
It's like the gods hate me or something. Or perhaps they aren't even there and therefore my life sucks. Both seem pretty frigging likely if you ask me.
When I was born, my mother died. My brother and sister had to raise me and ward off my nut of a father. The man's insane.
I'll start with the little things.
He doesn't let us watch TV at all, except for tapes of Disney films. He has a penchant for the ones that sucked. He has a pet snake who he plays basketball with. He voted for frigging George HW Bush. He keeps calling me Billy. He bought me an NES, then he pawned off the game that came with it, and never let me buy another cartridge. He then proceeded to fill it with beer.
Speaking of beer, he drinks a lot of it. The man keeps around this dagger called the Millennium Rod. Supposedly it's a sacred artifact of our Ancient Egyptian ancestors. He never lets anybody into the house because of it, saying they'll steal it. He never lets us out of the house, except for school, so we can guard it too. I never got exactly why it's so important, or why he hasn't sold it yet. When sheathed, it looks like a frigging golden dildo with wings. Part of me wants to steal it and attempt to use it as such, but it probably doesn't actually work like a dildo. Probably. With my father, one can never truly know.
I was going to a new high school this year, my second year. It wasn't going to be anything overly interesting. Until I walked in to my homeroom.
Some guy was sitting on the teacher's desk. He had long, white, tangled hair, and brown eyes that suggested interest in starting anarchy. He wasn't smiling. I took my seat.
The teacher walked in.
"Mister Bakura, please take a seat."
"I'm quite afraid I already have."
"Then take another one."
He just stood up and sat down again. The class was in stitches.
"Mister Bakura, please take a seat among the students."
"I am among students. This is a school, is it not?"
They all just kept laughing. The guy didn't even smirk. The teacher yanked him out of the seat and pushed him away. The teacher sat and the class was silent.
"See me after class, young man."
The guy shrugged and took a seat in the front row –right in front of me, by the way –and put his feet on the desk.
"Now, class, since this is the first day I want all your names for attendance. We'll go alphabetically. First…"
He called out names and people would raise their hands.
"…Florence Bakura?"
Nobody raised their hands. They were giggling. The guy tensed and raised his hand.
"…And call me Bakura, lest I slit your throat while you sleep."
The class did not take that too seriously, but in the back of my mind I knew it probably wasn't an empty threat.
Homeroom passed quickly. We got our schedules and textbooks passed out, the class gossiped the whole period. The two kids behind me were especially talkative.
"Hey, Yug, didya hear about that band that's on tour, and they're performin' here?"
"Yeah, Joey. I can't go. Family business to take care of. Wish I could though."
"I could jus' film it for ya."
"You know you'll get caught, right?"
"Good point."
I don't know why, but this had struck me as interesting. So interesting, I had turned around. The two kids who were talking were a short kid with crazy dyed hair – probably a punk or something –and a blond guy who was holding a GameBoy, tapping away at Kirby's Dreamland. I only knew this because I had seen the ads for it in a TV shop, from the time my dad smashed our old television in half that summer.
They noticed me instantly.
"Hey kid, whatchya starin' at?"
"What do you mean?"
"You jus' turned around, kid. Yer obviously lookin' at somethin', am I wrong?"
I cleared my throat and took a breath in. It was time to bullshit my way through this.
"Who's gonna be playing?"
"Huh?"
The midget punk helped him out.
"The concert you were talking about, Joey. He wants to know what band it is."
"Ohhhhh… thanks, Yug."
"So…you going to answer him?"
"Oh yeah, I think it was something like T7?"
"No, you moron, it wasn't T7! It was L7!"
"Are ya sure, Yug? Cause I think it was T7."
'Yug' held up his fingers in the shape of a square to let 'Joey' see.
"L7, like the square, Joey. See?"
"Fine, it was L7. Ya win the game, Yug."
At this point, I had turned around. I could feel myself grinning. L7 was one of my favorite bands of all time. I had to go to that concert, I had to! Then I remembered.
Dad won't let me. He keeps me locked in the house, just as always.
There goes my weekend. I guess it wasn't like I could afford tickets anyways.
The rest of the period was kind of blurry, until the bell rang.
That was when I bumped into that guy, Florence. Or rather, he bumped into me.
And I did the stupidest thing I could have.
"Watch where you're going, Fluffy."
"Excuse me?" He turned around, and he didn't look pleased. The whole class was staring at me. I stood defiant.
Yeah right, more like I stood friggin' STUPID. I think somebody had put a stupid pill in my cereal that morning. And then the stupid continued.
"I said, watch where you're going, FLUFFY."
He made an expression that terrified me, but no, no natural instincts for me today. Today was friggin' adrenaline day for Marik friggin' Ishtar! I had to stay there. I had to.
"What did you call me, you-"
"I called you Fluffy."
"Say that again."
"Fluffy."
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! I was officially a world class idiot.
"You." He jabbed his finger in my face, and practically hissed the rest of the sentence. "You call me Bakura or you call me nothing. Get it, you bi-?"
I snatched his schedule. He never saw it coming.
"Oh, I got it, Florence…"
It's as if I could hear his blood vessels popping. If so, he was having an aneurysm. A metaphorical aneurysm, of course.
"…Oh, I'm sorry. I should be calling you by your preferred name, right?"
He was almost too angry and too shocked to respond. He just nodded.
"Well, then I'll try that again." I fake coughed a bit and stood up to his height. I was right in his face. His expression didn't change.
"I got it, Nothing."
Gods, was I stupid.
I laughed like a maniacal douche bag and then came the best – or worst –part.
I tore his schedule in half and threw the bottom half at him. I shoved the top half in my pocket.
I walked off all proud, like some kind of jock or something. I could sense Florence seething all the way down the hall. The second I was out of his sights, I slid into a bathroom and nearly punched my reflection in the face.
"What the FRIGG were you THINKING, you FRIGGING MORON?" I screamed at myself. "You KNOW he's going to frigging KILL you, YOU IDIOT! HE'S GONNA TEAR OUT YOUR FRIGGING GUTS AND USE THEM AS FRIGGING FLOSS!"
I heaved a heavy sigh, and buried my face in my hands.
"It's okay. It's alright. You can win him over. You can sweet talk your way through your psycho for a father, you can sweet talk your way through anybody."
Then I recalled what he had almost called me.
"You call me Bakura or you call me nothing. Get it, you bi-?"
What am I going to bet he was going to call me a bitch?
Some things you might be asking:
What year is this? This is set in September 1992, United States. I am trying to stay true to the times. I have researched release dates and appropriate gaming consoles and crap.
Why no Lady Gaga? Lady Gaga did not exist (She was like 6 and was known by her real name, not her stage name) so it's gonna be Blondie, Elton John and The Village People instead, because they're every bit as gay. (Well, Blondie's bi, and so is Lady Gaga…but still!)
The hell's L7? Better music taste, that's what, you bubblegum poppers!
I used the 'Nothing' joke from The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It's a great book, and I guess I liked the movie.
Expect references to Nirvana, L7, Blondie, Lou Reed, The Village People, Elton John, Cyndi Lauper and Culture Club for sure. ABBA, The Smiths, AC/DC, The Beatles, Queen, Led Zeppelin and Melvins may also turn up. Also Husker Du. Definitely Husker Du.
Lots of jokes and ideas from 80s and 90s movies and books.