Hello my lovely St. Berry fans. Thank you all for taking the time to read this. I know I have other storys at the moment but I thought what they hell? This is sort of my Redemption for Jesse. Trying to make him seem like an actually boy with a soul who unintentionally fell in love with a girl and had to break her heart, in turn breaking his own. Im a Finchel fan but nothing can beat St. Berry. This story will have nine chapter, one for every one of the back nine, and will be in Jesse's POV. I hope you all enjoy and please take the time to read my other St. Berry/ Finchel fic Totally Fucked. Enjoy
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee… sigh… if I did Jesse and Rachel would have had some sort of closure at the end of season 1.
I strutted down the halls of Carmel High School. My school. They worshiped me here. Most of the Jocks knew not to mess with me, just because I sing in Vocal Adrenaline doesn't mean I'm not packing a mean left hook, and all of the girls wanted me. It's my senior year and I was ready to win my fourth consecutive National title and leave this dump of a town. With the help of a few of my teachers and my coach Ms. Corcoran I had a full ride to UCLA. The next four years of my life were set in stone, now I can just sit back and enjoy the ride.
"Jesse!" I turned my head to the right of me and noticed a petite freshman from Vocal Adrenaline. I don't really know her name. Brooke, Briana, Brittany … Her pale green eyes sparkled when I gave her my famous smirk. "I-I just wanted to say… you were incredible at practice yesterday. You totally deserve that solo." I adjusted my messenger bag on my shoulder.
"I deserve every solo." I replied back, when I looked back at her she was grinning ear to ear. She nervously pushed some hair behind her ear and looked down at the floor.
"Yeah." She sighed. "You're the best male lead in the group. I just hope when I'm a senior I can get as lucky as you." She smiled up at me again and then I noticed Andrea, our female lead, walking next to me.
"Bridget." Ah Bridget. She looked frightened by Andrea and I chuckled to myself. The girl had been trying for years to get with me, usually coming up with the excuse that since we're both the leads in VA that we'd make a perfect power couple. But truth be told, Andrea annoyed me to no end, I could handle her bitchy-I'm-better-than-anyone attitude, I just can't handle the rest of her. "Leave. Now. Unless you want to get booted off Vocal Adrenaline and be shunned by this entire school, causing you to drop out and attend that god awful McKinley High School and have to be in their horrific glee club." Bridget's eyes became wide and she quickly left my side.
"Don't you think that was a bit harsh And?" I asked using the nickname I knew made her melt. What can I say I loved the feeling of having any girl become mush in my hands.
"She needed to back off. That girl was way out of line. She was practically hanging all over you. How could you stand it?" She asked appalled.
"She was talking Andrea. And she wasn't even touching me. You on the other hand need to let go." I pulled my hand from her death grip and walked away. I walked into my Drama class and sat down just as the bell rang.
"That was dreadful. You're voices make me want to become deaf, how are we supposed to take home Nationals when you all suck at practice? You know what? This just can not possibly get any better. Leave. Practice is over." Shelby Corcoran ordered the group to leave, I knew she hated the number. Andrea picked the song this week, she was a good singer but she only knew how to choose songs that made her sound great. The rest of the group was flat and they were missing every other dance step.
"Jesse." I heard Shelby call out my name from her table in the fifth row and I turned to her when the rest of the group was off stage. "You need to pick a new number. Something that will make these kids sound good. I want you to find a song and bring it tomorrow, sheet music and all. You got it kid?" I nodded and walked off stage. I guess I could go to the music store now that we were aloud to leave early.
Suddenly Andrea was in front of my, her hands grazing my chest. "Jesse!" She squealed, apparently she was feeling quite confident after that number. I didn't want to deal with her at the moment. "So I was thinking maybe this Friday you and I could grab some dinner. You know to go over ideas for VA." I could tell she felt the need to add the explanation so she didn't seem desperate. But lets face it, she passed desperate 3 years ago. "And then go see a movie after… but that's just for fun."
"Andrea… no sorry." I knew I was a jackass at times, but I needed to be blunt with her, I've tried to be subtle for the last year and look where I ended up. "Now I have to go, I have to find a new number for the team." I grabbed her hands which had descended down toward my belt and removed them from me. She seemed disappointed but when I mentioned the new number she perked up.
"Oh are you going to the music store? I'll come with. You'll need my creative input." I rolled my eyes and tried to move away from her, but I was like a bug catcher and she was my moth.
"No it's fine. I can do it on my own." I got free from her and started to walk away, but the girl was persistent.
"St. James! Come on, you need me!" She called out as I walked through the other members of VA. The girl was starting to make a fool of herself.
"No believe me I don't." I made it past the last member and pushed my way out the side entrance. I'd change in the car, I can't handle being around her any longer.
I walked into the music store, my performance outfit in the back seat of my Range Rover. Shelby constantly bitched about how expensive they are, but God it was a white button down, black skinny jeans, and a skinny black tie. I could find that anywhere.
The bell rang above my head, signaling the cashier that I had arrived. I smiled politely at her and she returned the gesture. I spent many of my free days here, so I knew all the employees by name. I went over to the catalogue, it held ever piece of inventory in its 300 pages. I started to flip through the pages, stopping at ACDC. We hadn't done a classic rock number in awhile, and Highway To Hell was a song I could see us singing well. The chorography wouldn't be hard either.
Suddenly the bell rang again, I looked up to see a very familiar girl walk in. She had deep brown eyes and defined cheek bones. Her hair was a glossy dark brown color and her wardrobe… well it wasn't horrific, but it could be improved. She gave Carol, the cashier, a brief hello before walking over to the music book sections. I instantly recognized her as the McKinley High glee club female lead, Rachel Berry. I saw her at sectionals, Shelby sent me there to see if any of the other clubs were at our level. New Directions wasn't, but they were close. I ducked behind a bookcase before I was spotted.
Once I heard her voice I was hooked, I had to know everything about her. I learned she was a sophomore, she had two gay fathers, and that most of her fellow peers hated her to no end. But when she sang, I felt as if she was the only person who could keep up vocally with me. Even Andrea couldn't compare to her voice. She was incredible, when she sang Barbara I was a little shocked. I think she was the first person to ever get close to being as magnificent at Barbara. Carol sent me a questioning glance and I gave her one back.
I then realized what I was doing. I was Jesse St. James, the star of Vocal Adrenaline, and I was cowering like the lion from The Wizard of Oz. I straightened up, fixed my outfit and casually strolled over to her. She was flipping through a Lionel Richie song book. I placed my finger at the top of the book and pushed it downward. Rachel seemed surprised.
"Lionel Richie Huh? One of my favorites." I grinned at her and she seemed to have a current lost of speech, it was soon over.
"Oh my God you're Jesse St. James. You're in Vocal Adrenaline." She seemed to talk when she was nervous, and state the obvious.
"And you're Rachel Berry. I saw you perform at Sectionals. You're rendition of Don't Rain On My Parade was flawed. You totally lacked Barbara's emotional depth… but you're talented." I had no idea where the backhanded complement came from, usually when I met new people I turned on the charm, but she seemed different. It seems as this was the Jesse St. James she was expecting, but she doesn't seem disappointed, the farthest thing from it actually. I grabbed the book out of her hand and walked away, she was right on my tail. "This is one of my favorite hunts. I like to come here and flip through the celebrity biographies, pick up some life style tips. I'm a senior now so this year is kind of my victory lap, snagging a fourth consecutive National championship would just be gravy." I kept expecting her to leave, calling me a jackass as she left, but she did no such thing. I wanted to stop saying such douche bag things, but it was like word vomit. She seemed to find it captivating though, so I didn't stop. "I'm getting out of Ohio soon. I've got a full ride to a little school called The University of California Los Angles, maybe you've heard of it, it's in Los Angles." Way to go Jesse, insult her intelligence, now she'll walk out of here for sure, not before slapping you across the face. She seemed to like hearing about my accomplishment. I looked at her and then at the book, an idea struck me. "What do you say we take it for a spin?"
"Here? Ah-no I'm kind of nervous." I smiled, she was so innocent.
"Ahhh, I remember when I used to get nervous. Come on, I do this all the time. I like to give impromptu concerts for the homeless, it's so important to give back." She smiled, I temporarily lost my breath. I knew she wouldn't sing unless I pushed her into it, what better way then singing? My hands started to glide over the keys, I silently thanked my mother for the years of piano lesions.
I've been alone with you
Inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips
A thousand times
I sometimes see you
Pass outside my door
Hello!
Is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes I long to see the sunlight in your hair
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted
And my arms are open wide
Because you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much
I love you
And tell you time and time again
How much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello!
I've just got to let you know
Because I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying I love you
"We should do this more often. How's Friday night?" She smiled at me, and I knew she was hooked.
I pulled up to Rachel's middle class house. Smaller than mine, but I could even tell walking up to the house it was more of a home than I ever had. After our duet in the music store Rachel took out a pen and a rather large sticky note pad out of her purse. I'm always prepared for when a new glee idea comes to me. She explained, a grin broke out on my face. She wrote down her number and address, signing her name at the bottom and drawing a star next to it in the gold ink of the pen she was using. I knew then she was perfect for me.
When I got to the front door I smoothed my black v-neck and straightened my royal blue leather jacket, then knocked lightly on the front door. The door opened before I could pull my hand away and standing in front of me were two men. The one closest to me was a short, Jewish looking man with a balding head and glasses. Behind him was a much taller black man with a mustache. I'm guessing they are Rachel's fathers. "Hello. I am Jesse St. James. You must be Rachel's fathers?" I smiled my famous smile and stuck my hand out.
"Leroy!" The Jewish man said as he grabbed my hand and started shaking it frantically. "This is my partner Hiram. It's so nice to meet you Jesse. Oh come in." I started to see where Rachel got her rambling from, but Leroy seemed friendly enough. They took me in and I settled down on their living room couch, silently begging for Rachel to be done. It's not that I'm intimated by her fathers, although Hiram does look like a bodyguard, it's just, I don't know how well my charm will work on her fathers. "So Jesse, tell us about you're self." Leroy said, smiling at me.
This was surprising. I was sure Rachel would have gushed to her fathers by now about the incredible boy she met at the music store. I guess not. "How long do you have?" I joked. Leroy laughed along but I could tell Hiram was skeptical about letting his little girl go out with me, the big bad senior. "I am the lead vocalist in Vocal Adrenaline. I've got a scholarship to UCLA, and then I'm moving to New York to be on Broadway." I smiled at the end, content with the answer. I felt like I was answering a question for a panel of judges at the Miss America competition.
"Yes, Rachel has told us that. But I would like to know about you. You're family, do you have a job?" I could tell Leroy was about to go on but Rachel stepped down stairs. I looked up at her and I could have sworn I gulped. She had on a rose colored short sleeved shirt with a loose tie around the front. She paired it with a skirt that looked tan from far away, but up close it was actually tiny tan circles on a sliver background. She also had on a pair of cream heals that made her legs longer than ever. Her makeup was light, but she looked gorgeous, her hair was curled and it framed her face.
"Hi Jesse… Is this okay for where we're going?" She questioned, I could tell she was nervous. But she looked stunning and perfect for what I had in store.
"It's just right. I'm actually a tad underdressed." I confessed. Rachel's eyebrow shot up.
"Jesse St. James not prepared? Call all the local news stations and inform them the apocalypse has begun." I chuckled at her humor, as did her fathers. I then remembered they were in the room and turned toward them.
"What time should I have her home?" I questioned, Rachel looked at them as well.
"Midnight at the latest." Hiram answered. It was the first time I'd heard him speak and his voice was not what I was expecting. I nodded and assured them Rachel would be home before that. Rachel quickly said goodbye to her fathers and I walked her out the door to my maroon 67' Mustang. It was an 18th birthday present from my parents, and I was grateful that they had remembered my birthday, let alone prize me with such an amazing gift.
"Maroon?" Rachel questioned. I glanced at her and she looked from me to the car. "I was expecting black." She smirked and skipped over to the car. I think I could get used to this girl.
I walked down the halls of Carmel High School and for the first time I had an actual smile on my face. A smile because I was happy, not because I just won another competition, or because I was being hit on, but because my date with Rachel was everything and more.
"So Jesse St. James… Where are you taking me?" Rachel asked as I drove down the street to exit her neighborhood. I could tell she got slightly nervous when I turned the opposite way of town.
"I thought we'd see a show. I mean who better to see a musical with than a girl with knowledge of Broadway that might be greater than my own." She gave me a questioning smile and I knew she wanted to know where we were going at the exact moment. I opened the glove compartment and pulled out two tickets and handed them to her. He face contorted to an expression of shear shock to excitement in under 5 seconds.
"Spring Awakening?" She questioned, just above a whisper. I nodded and she let out a slight squeal of excitement. I looked at her and her eyes sparkled. "Jesse! Spring Awakening was jaw dropping! It was boundary pushing and forever changed Broadway." She then came to the realization of something. "Jesse it has a sex scene." I then realized how innocent Rachel Berry really is.
"Does that mean you don't want to go?" I questioned with a grin, already knowing her answer.
"NO!" She jumped, the thought of not seeing the musical seemed to sadden and scare her at the same time. "Believe me we are going."
"Good, because I got us stage seats." I didn't think she would, but Rachel Berry leaned over and kissed me, just a slight peck, but it had more feeling in it than most of my make out sessions with random girls. I looked at her again and smiled, she smiled back.
Of course the universe knew I can't be truly happy for a whole 2 minutes so they send something to ruin my mood. Cue Andrea.
"Jesse. Just the man I wanted to see. So I was thin- What's going on?" She questioned the smile the second she saw it. Even she knew I never truly smiled. I contemplated lying to her, or telling the truth. In the end the truth won, not because it's the right thing to do, God no, but because I knew it'd piss her off.
"My date the other night was unbelievable." I stated. Andrea did not seem happy with my statement.
"Date?" She questioned. I nodded, her face became distorted. She suddenly stepped in front of me, keeping me from going anywhere. "Who is she? Is it Melody from VA? Or that girl in you're French class? Who Jesse?" It still boggled my mind to think Andrea thought she had some sort of claim over me.
"She doesn't go here. Thank god. Then I wouldn't have to worry about her safety." Andrea ignored the last part.
"What? Is she a better singer than me? Dancer? What Jesse?" This girl had issues and she really needed to see the guidance counselor. But I answered her, knowing it would put her over the edge, truthfully.
"She is the only girl I have ever met that is vocally at my level. She blows you and the rest of the VA girls out of the water." Andrea was stunned and I took it as my time to escape. I walked around her and continued down the hall, but turned around to say one last thing. "Andrea? Give up on the dream that we will one day live happily ever after. It's not going to happen." I knew that was a jackass move but I had to be blunt.
I walked down the hallway and toward my locker when I heard Shelby Corcoran call out my name. I turned around, my previous smile back on my face. "Did you get a song?" She questioned.
"Yes. Highway to Hell. ACDC. Everything is on you're desk." I smiled bigger and opened my locker.
"What is that you're doing with you're face? Why are you doing that?" She questioned.
"Smiling. And I'm doing it because my new girlfriend is amazing." I answered.
"Yeah I don't care about that. And stop smiling. It'll give you age marks prematurely." With that she walked off. I considered dropping my smile, but I thought of Rachel again and I couldn't.
I dropped Rachel off at her front door, 11:30 sharp. I hoped it was an appropriate time, and that her fathers wouldn't want to kill me. "Thank you so much Jesse. I don't think anything can make this night better." She said, grinning ear to ear.
"Oh believe me, I'll make it better." She looked up at me through her dark lashes and smiled. I couldn't handle it anymore, in one swoop my lips had captured hers. I pulled her into me and her arms seemed to be pinned to her sides. I could feel her melt into me and I knew her legs were becoming weak. I cupped her cheek and pulled away, gave her two more soft kisses and then bid her adieu.
Living easy, living free
Season ticket on a one-way ride
Going down, party time
My friends are gonna be there too, yeah
Im on the highway to hell
highway to hell
im on the highway to hell
highway to hell
im on the highway to hell
highway to hell
Don't stop me
"STOP! Please dear God just stop. Seriously guys? It's like watching beige paint dry. Can everybody please look at Jesse." Everyone turned their attention toward me. "Jesse give us a show face." I smiled a smile that would make a clown jealous. Everyone studied my face, but really, how hard is it to put on a show face. I do it every day of my life. "That's a show face guys. You want to look so talented it's literally hurting you. I want a look that's so optimistic it could cure cancer." We all flashed Shelby our smiles, it seemed to make her happier. "That's what I'm talking about. Take five everybody, drink a red bull." As I walked off stage I noticed the New Directions coach walking toward Shelby. Oh man I'm screwed. She'll find out I'm with Rachel and make me break up with her, or worse… cut me from the team.
I walked over to my bag and took out my phone, noticing I had a text from Rachel.
Finn wanted me back. I told him no, that I was with you. He ratted us out to Schue. Beware. Xoxo Rachel
I looked at the bottom of the text. Stored at 2:53 pm. I looked at the clock in the backstage of the theatre, it was already 4:27. I quickly typed a reply and walked back on stage, slightly pissed because of that Neanderthal. If he thought he was getting her back then he was sadly mistaken. "Okay everyone. Practice is over. Jesse." I turned my attention toward Shelby. "Meet me in my office first thing tomorrow." Everyone around me oohhhed like a bunch of 3 year olds, I ignored them like most days. I nodded to Shelby, knowing the conversation was about my new relationship with Rachel. Once Shelby left with that New Directions coach everyone picked up their stuff and left.
"They threatened to kick me out! ME!" Rachel vented to me on the phone. I was currently lounging on my couch, listening to Rachel rant about the glee kids. "They told me I was replaceable." She spat the word, venom in her voice. "Can you believe that? I mean I carry them, practically win Sectionals for them and they threaten to kick me out!" She let out a sigh. "I don't know what to do Jesse, I mean I love Glee, but I don't want to give you up to stay." That made me think, would I give up Vocal Adrenaline to be with Rachel? Sacrifice my future as a Star for a relationship that might fizzle out in the future? Was she worth it… I didn't know at the moment.
"Then let's break up." I said casually. I could hear Rachel choke on her words and I could imagine her facial expression. Her eyes wide, sad, her mouth open, making incoherent words.
"You're breaking up with me?" She finally questioned, it sounded like she was ready to cry.
"That's what you're going to tell the Glee kids. Of course it wont be true, but how would they know if we're together or not?" She let out a sigh of relief and I could tell I had her going for a few seconds.
"Okay, easy enough. It'll be a good acting exercise." I chuckled slightly.
"Rachel Berry, does everything you do better you're chances of Broadway?" I asked.
"Of course. Why Jesse St. James? Don't you?" She countered.
"Of course." I answered. She suddenly became the bubbly Rachel Berry I knew.
"So Jesse. Did you notice how our initials match those of Romeo and Juliet? It's as if we were destined to be star crossed lovers, forbidden to love each other." I smiled, I had realized this yesterday, I was amazed Rachel had just figured it out now.
"It was destiny. It was written in the stars." I answered, I could hear her sigh on the other side and I smiled. "I must leave now Juliet. Farewell, dear Capulet."
"Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow." Rachel recited, I smiled and I heard her hang up, I did the same.
"What do you want to talk about?" I asked when I walked into Shelby's office in the Arts wing of out school. Shelby was the school's choir teacher, along with Vocal Adrenaline coach and the director of most of our school musicals.
"Rachel Berry." She answered. I shifted slightly in my chair, nervous about where this conversation was headed. I could tell Shelby wanted to say more, so I stayed quite until she spoke up. It took her a few minutes but it happened. "She's my daughter."
"Excuse me?" I questioned. Rachel Berry, my girlfriend, star of New Directions, was Shelby Corcoran's, coach of Vocal Adrenaline, daughter. "You're daughter?" I asked bewildered.
"Yes. I would like you to befriend her Jesse." She said. This was not what I had expected at all. I wiped the confused look off my face and put on one that showed no emotion.
"Believe me Shelby. I'm past the friend stage." She glared at me, eyes blazing. "Can I ask why?"
"Because I want to get to know her." She said, she seemed to think it was the most logical explanation in the world, but I needed more information. She quickly realized this. "I can't contact her until she's 18. But if she comes looking for me, if she wants to get to know me, then we can have a relationship. When I heard her at Sectionals," I gave her a questioning look. "Youtube." She stated and I nodded. "I just knew she was my little girl, I did some research and it was true."
"Then what do you need me for?" I questioned.
"You need to push her, get her to want to get to know me."
"Fine, it'll be a good acting exercise for me." It'll be a good acting exercise. "What about our relationship?" I asked, nervous for the answer.
"I really don't care about it. You two can fall in love and elope for all I care, I just want to know her." She said. "Now get in there and get me my little girl." I nodded, I could tell this conversation was over so I got up and left her office. My phone beeped on the way out. One new text. I opened the text and saw it was from Rachel.
Finn proclaimed his love for me again. He told me he's not going to give up, he thinks he has a chance because we are 'broken up'. Just thought I should let you know he has no chance, you're all mine. Xoxo Rachel
And you're mine. Be safe Juliet. –J
And you Romeo. Xoxo Rachel
I was lounging on the wall on the side of theatre, going over my homework from the day. The theatre always helped me think. Suddenly the back entrance opened and a girl in a plaid dress walked up to the stage. Once she spoke I realized it was Rachel. "Jesse?" She called out, she looked sadder than normally. I stood up and turned on the spotlight, she looked right into it. "Whose there? I carry a rape whistle!" Rachel threatened, I laughed slightly and turned the light off.
"It's just me." I said coming off the side of the stage. Rachel seemed to relax immediately, her breathing returned to its normal rhythm. "Most spots are 25 hundred watts. This one is ten times brighter. We have to wear sunscreen on stage but it's worth it." I didn't know why I always felt like I need to brag to Rachel, maybe because I thought that if I wasn't this big star she'd drop me flat.
"I guess everything is bigger and brighter here." She said. She suddenly became very serious. "I have to ask you something. And I need you to tell me the truth because if you don't it will have consequences. Life or death consequences." This made me nervous. "Because if I give myself to you, and it turns out you're just playing me… I might die. Not literally but emotionally. It will be the kind of heartbreak that girls like me hold for the rest of our lives. Like Barbara in The Way We Were." I chuckled at her reference, I slipped my arms around her waist and pulled her into me.
"Oh my god."
"What?" She muttered.
"You're more of a drama queen than I am." I said, she laughed faintly at that. I pulled away, putting my hand out to her. "Hi... I'm Jesse." I said it as if we were meeting for the first time.
"I know who you are." She stated, confused.
"You know Jesse St. James. The star of Vocal Adrenaline, you're competition at Regional's. I want to introduce you to Jesse. The guy who is nuts about you. The guy who would never hurt you." Lie. The ending to our relationship, if there is an ending, will hurt us both.
"No one can know." She said, confirming out plan from yesterday, almost as if she'd thought of it and had yet to tell me.
"I understand." I said. I then pulled her into a kiss, she melted into me immediately. When I opened my eyes I saw Shelby on the other side of the Theatre, smiling. I knew if I pulled away now Rachel would see her, so I deepened the kiss, trailing my tongue on her bottom lip. She responded by opening her mouth. Our tongues intertwined and I closed my eyes, getting caught in the heat of the kiss. We pulled away, Shelby forgotten, Rachel looked up at me with those doe eyes and smiled. I smiled right back.
How was that for Hell-O? I think pretty good. This will be from Jesse's POV always and will have scenes I feel the show could have put in. I hope you liked it. I liked doing the research, I get to watch Glee episodes over and over again, skipping to the parts. Lol. Rachels outfit is on my proflie, selena gomez wears it in a photoshoot but when you see it it screams Rachel Berry. Please review! It took me 6 days to write this, its 10 pages on word and 5,896 words. I think that disserves a review from each of you that read. Lol. Jk but those to do read will get to read a cute scene from the next chapter!