Disclaimer: I do not own the OC.
A/N: I don't really know where this came from. I just sat down this morning and started typing and a few hours later I had this. I kind of think it's a bit weird, after re-reading it, but whatever, I decided to post it anyway.
Read. Enjoy. And review because I love those.
Also, for those of you who are also reading my "Doubts and Insecurities" story – it will be updated on Tuesday.
Later. And thanks in advance.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hello?" Summer shouted as she walked into her childhood mansion. "Is anyone here? Anyone?"
Here is how Summer Roberts imagined coming back to Newport after a semester away of college at Brown: her father and boyfriend both waiting impatiently at the airport for her to walk out of the tarmac and then, upon seeing her, race each other for the first embrace.
The idea of having no boyfriend, her dad away in New York on business, and her getting a cab – ew – to take her back to the unfamiliar and unwelcoming home she had always known was definitely not what she had imagined.
"Guess I'm fending for myself tonight," Summer grumbled as she pulled the two suitcases carelessly behind her, walking into the living room and witnessing a dazed and sullen looking Julie Cooper.
"Julie?" Summer asked quietly. "Are you okay?"
Julie turned her head and took a long gaze at Summer – her future daughter-in-law. "Oh, Summer, when did you get here, honey?"
Summer couldn't hide the eye roll. "A few minutes ago. I was just shouting to see if anyone was here."
"Oh," Julie fell back onto the couch, as she let her arm fall over her eyes lazily, "Well, welcome back sweetie."
Summer laughed quietly to herself – finding irony in the entire situation – and dropped her suitcases, instead finding her quench for thirst was taking over any other need or want. She reached the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door roughly, noticing the entire refrigerator was completely chalk full of Rolling Rock beer and Evian water. No soda, no juice, just beer and water.
It didn't take long for Summer to realize how Winter Break was going to go.
Summer reached for a bottle of Evian water and took small, constant sips as she looked out the back windows, overlooking her enormous pool and the well-taken care of bushes, plants, and flowers.
Summer guessed her father, Julie, and Kaitlin hadn't stepped a single foot in their backyard since before Summer had even packed up her life to move cross-country.
Things during the past summer had certainly been rocky. And if it hadn't been for Seth and his antics at trying to keep up with normalcy she would have bet that she wouldn't have even made past the airport's security on August 31st. She, Seth, and Ryan had spent the summer trying to deny the undeniable – spending the majority of the time at the beach, in the pool house, or watching movies in the Cohen's residence. Sandy and Kirsten had been very understanding when Summer chose to stay over in Seth's room six out of the seven days during the week, thinking that it would help Summer with her grief.
Summer wasn't grieving. In fact, Summer hadn't cried about Marissa since the night Seth and her sat in that stupid box and Kirsten had come in – knocking, but not waiting for an answer before she entered – smiling sadly as she found Seth and her wrapped up in each other's arms, slowly falling asleep in uncomfortable positions. Kirsten had knelt down, trying to wake both her and Seth, but only Summer was the one to wake.
Summer had immediately locked eyes with Kirsten and noticed a single tear slip down her perfect cheek. Summer's eyes did the questioning as she sat up, releasing Seth's hold around her waist, straightening her shirt.
"There was an accident…" Kirsten trailed off. "Marissa didn't make it to the airport."
Summer couldn't exactly remember what happened next. It seemed oxymoronic to say that the rest of the night went by all too fast, hazing her memory, but also went by at the slow speed of a sloth. Seth had woken up, startled by Summer's hitching screams and pounds on his chest and Kirsten had abruptly exited the room, falling gracefully into Sandy's chest as she cried her own hushed sobs.
But since then Summer hadn't cried. She tried to forget her best friend, exactly like her best friend had forgotten her that past semester when Summer had spent hours on her "Save Marissa" campaign and even offered up her beloved don't-even-think-of-touching-him-or-I'll-pull-a-rage-blackout-on-you boyfriend to previously two-timing Taylor Townsend.
Marissa Cooper wasn't Summer Roberts' best friend anymore. Seth Cohen was.
Which is exactly why Summer had cried herself to sleep every night since they broke up November 12th, due to some drunken call Summer made to Seth in which she proposed they break up because she really missed making out with random guys and partying hard until she was six feet deep in her grave just like Marissa.
Summer didn't remember this call at all. Seth did and since he always wanted to give Summer what she wanted, he said that they should break up and that Summer should have fun at Brown.
Summer hated Brown. More than she hated the music box her mom had left behind for her, saying she loved her but she had to leave. And damnit, she really hated that stupid music box.
Summer's roommate hadn't known what had happened to fun, bubbly, keep-all-emotions-in-and-act-like-everything's-peachy-keen Summer after November 12th. Summer didn't tell her – she didn't tell anyone – she just cried, slept, skipped classes and meals at the dining hall, staying in every night wallowing with her The Valley DVDs repeatedly playing on the television twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
Summer's roommate had tried asking her multiple times what was wrong – if something had happened. Summer never answered. But when Summer had had enough, she knowingly left her cell phone opened to Seth's number on her bed as she walked out of the dorm, stating she had to go to a friend's room for some notes, and instead stood outside the door, waiting for her roommate's curiosity to get the best of her and dial the number. Not only did Summer want her roommate to stop asking questions but she wanted to know if it was really the end for her and Seth. And if she didn't have the courage to ask him, she needed someone else. And her roommate seemed like the only option.
"Hi, Seth?... No, it's Summer's roommate… What?... Yeah, she never leaves the room. She just, like, lays in bed all day… Are you sure?… Yeah… Yeah… It's just… No, I know… Never. Not once… Okay… Well, take care and good luck… Yeah, bye."
Summer slid against the door, falling hard against the tiled, cold floor, sobs racking her body.
Summer's roommate opened the door after hearing the loud thump, and Summer fell backwards into the dorm, lying there, crying endlessly. Her roommate came to her knees and gathered her in her arms, soothingly rubbing her back.
Summer had looked up for a brief second, trying to see her roommate's eyes through the cloudy vision her tears had caused. "It's over, isn't it?"
"Yeah, Summer. I think it is."
Instead of falling back into a fit of whimpers, Summer stood up and walked over to her laptop, and began typing for the remainder of the night. She wrote about her feelings, about anything and everything – Seth, Marissa, her mom, her dad, everything – and when she was finished she saved it and crawled into bed with the glow from her alarm clock peering the numbers 4:14 am, flashing the only light in the room.
Summer got over it – mostly – the next day. She started returning to classes (even though finals were only two days away) and she met friends at the dining hall for each meal. She even went to a few bars in Providence in an attempt to completely get over Seth Cohen, but every time a guy would even make eye contact with her, she'd feel immediately guilty and head back to the dorm, falling asleep to her cries once again.
Kaitlin appeared in the kitchen, shaking Summer's vivid memories of the past month from her mind as she finished up the remaining Evian water in the bottle.
"So… you're back?"
Summer nodded to Kaitlin's question, still keeping the bottle attached to her mouth.
"I heard you broke up with Seth."
Summer nodded again, looking back out the windows away from Kaitlin's stare.
"Well… he works at that video game store. You know, that geeky one downtown next to the surf shop? One of my guy friends who works at the surf shop sees him go in there a lot on the weekends."
Summer shifted uncomfortably and looked back over to Kaitlin. "Yeah, I know. Thanks."
Kaitlin feigned a smile as she walked off, ignoring her mother's pleas for her to come back and talk to her.
Apparently Marissa wasn't the only Cooper child who couldn't stand her mother.
Summer threw the bottle into the recycling as she retreated back into the living room, gathering her suitcases and trudging up the stairs, all while hearing the blubberings of Julie Cooper fill the expanse of the Roberts' mansion.
------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey there," Summer's roommate greeted through the phone. "How's California?"
Summer dragged her feet alongside the beach down by the pier, staring out into the ocean, watching the waves cascade over each other in constant motion. "It's all right. Different, I guess."
"Yeah, I'd think so. No snow or ice or really gross slush that ruins your shoes."
Summer laughed into her phone. "Yeah, none of that. How's Colorado?"
"Same as I left it. Everything's so routine over here. I hate it."
"Yeah…" Summer sighed. "I'd give anything for things to be routine around here."
"Cheer up. I just looked up the weather in the Orange County area and it says that it's going to be 70s and sunny for the next week and half. At least you can get a tan or something while you're home."
Summer snorted. "Yeah, I guess so. Look, I have to go. See ya."
"Bye Summer."
Summer shut her phone and turned back to the ocean with its glare from the sun hurting her eyes.
Home. Huh, Summer grunted. This place wasn't home anymore. Nothing about it felt like home and nothing seemed even remotely like home. Home was a place you saw all of your friends and family and laughed until tears came from your eyes and your stomach twisted in pain.
Summer had only seen Julie and Kaitlin for the past ten days she had been here and she couldn't remember the last time she had not faked a smile or a laugh.
"Summer?"
Summer twirled around at the sound of a familiar voice, approaching her.
"Hey," Summer smiled, feigning happiness. "How are you?"
Holly Fischer swung her arms around her former best friend's shoulders. "I'm awesome. I love USC but it's good to be back in Newport for the next month and half."
"A month and half? You have that long of a break?"
Holly laughed, letting go of Summer. "Of course! Doesn't everybody?"
"I have three more weeks before I have to be back at Brown," Summer replied.
"Ew," Holly scrunched up her face. "East coast. It's gross out there in the winter, yes?"
"It's okay."
"Yeah, well, I can see why you wanted to get out of here. After Marissa died everyone was pretty shook up. I mean, she, like, died, you know?"
How was Summer ever best friends with this girl?
"Yeah, I know." Summer frowned.
"And I heard you finally broke up with the Cohen boy. Good choice."
Summer winced inwardly as she broke eye contact with Holly and looked up on the street lining the beach, giving her a perfect view of the surf shop and the video game store placed awkwardly right next to it. "Yeah. Listen I have to go. It was nice to see you," Summer lied as she walked up the beach, towards the street. "Good luck."
"Bye Summer!"
Summer increased her fast-walking pace into a jog as she ran clumsily through the soft sand. She stopped for a moment, removing her flip-flops, before resuming her jog up to the street.
She reached the stairs and then the walkway and then deciding that her sandals were not that important, she began running across the street in her bare feet.
"Ow!" Summer screamed as she fell over in the street, cars honking and quickly slamming on their brakes to avoid hitting Summer. "Fucking, damnit!" Summer swore as she saw a small piece of glass had been shoved into the ball of her foot.
People got out of their cars and customers came out of the shops as Summer lay there, gripping her foot as trickles of blood spilled out. Summer began crying again – because apparently when you start crying on a constant basis it's hard to stop for even the stupidest things – and that's when she saw him for this first time since August 31st.
He was wearing a dark blue polo that had yellow lettering on the right, upper hand side and was outlined on the sleeves and the collar in that same yellow coloring. He had slim, light colored jeans and those canvas-type tennis shoes that he refused to replace until they were completely outworn with holes in the heels.
"Hey, miss, we have to get you to a hospital," A man around his late 50s interrupted Summer's thoughts of Seth, refocusing her attention on her still bleeding foot.
"Fuck," Summer swore. "This really fucking hurts." Summer held her foot tighter as a few people helped her up and walked her into a car.
"Let me do it."
Summer looked up again and saw the familiar and comforting brown orbs she had longed to see for months now.
"I can take her," the familiar face continued. "My car's over here."
"It's okay, sir. We have it. You can go back to work," the older man replied, noticing Seth's "Newport Video Game Central" logo on his polo.
Seth tugged on the man's arm gently, stopping him from walking any further with Summer's arm draped around his shoulder. "I know her. I can take her."
The man looked at Seth and then looked down at Summer, whose tears were still racking her body, but now for a whole different reason.
"You know this young man?" Summer nodded. "Do you want him to take you?" Summer nodded again, refusing to look at Seth.
"All right. Make sure she gets there quickly. Don't want it to get infected."
Seth nodded as he gathered Summer in his arms once again, carrying her to the Range Rover. "You sure do know how to make an entrance, Roberts," Seth joked as he put Summer in the passenger's seat.
And for the first time in over a month, Summer smiled a genuine smile.
"I'm sorry if I get any blood in the car," Summer replied, still crying but letting the tears casually subside.
"It's okay, it's still the parents' car. Plus, it's not like you can help it."
Seth began driving off, giving Summer a side smirk, as Summer grinned widely, ignoring the pain in her foot and staring out the window as Seth sped his way to the hospital.
------------------------------------------------------
Who knew landing herself in the hospital was the best thing Summer could have done to improve her miserable Winter Break?
Seth had brought her in, called her father and Julie and his own parents as the piece of glass was removed and stitches were put in place, holding onto to her hand as she gripped it tightly, feeling the sudden pain but overwhelming happiness of Seth's warm hand.
He didn't have time to stay, however, saying that he only was given an hour break at most during the weekends, and said he'd come visit later on that night at her house to check-up. As he left the hospital, he turned around and gave her a thumbs up sign, smiling, and even though she hadn't a clue what that meant or what had possessed him to do it, she couldn't hide the growing grin that was permanently etched across her face.
Julie and Kaitlin, as well as Sandy, Kirsten, and Ryan, had come to the hospital to release her and take her back home. Her father was on his way back from New York after hearing about his daughter's trip to the hospital.
Finally, things were turning out okay.
------------------------------------------------------
"Hey, Seth," Summer heard Julie greet him as she also heard the front door close. "Summer's upstairs."
Summer then heard some quick bounding up the steps and saw Seth enter her room in the same clothes he was wearing earlier, making Summer realize he hadn't gone home after getting out of work but instead came straight to her house.
"How's the foot?" Seth asked as he sat on the end of her bed.
"It's better." Summer smiled. "Thank you for bringing me there today."
"No problem. But… ah… why were you running in the street with no shoes, anyway? That's not very Summer Roberts of you." Seth laughed.
Summer gulped and looked down at her hands placed in her lap. "I was going to see you."
"Me?"
"Yeah," Summer continued. "I had just run in to Holly down at the beach and some things she said just made me realize I really wanted to talk to you so I ended up taking off my sandals and running up to the street and then… yeah…"
Seth didn't bother asking why she was in a rush or what Holly had said. Instead, he just faintly asked, "What did you want to talk to me about?"
Summer sighed, closing her eyes and leaned against the headboard. "I miss you, Cohen."
Seth didn't reply and Summer opened up her eyes to the feeling of Seth's body missing from the bed. Seth had stood up and was walking to the door.
"Where are you going?" Summer asked panicky. "I don't want you to leave."
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. And you are, so… I have to go." Seth began walking out, down the hall, as Summer began shouting in wails for Seth to come back.
"No! Come back! I need to talk to you! And damnit, I can't chase after you because my foot won't let me! Seth, come back!"
Seth appeared sadly at the door, leaning against the frame. "Summer, I really have to leave."
"You really don't," Summer pleaded with him. "Please. Just come back in here and hear me out, okay?"
Seth wordlessly walked back into Summer's room and sat himself in an empty chair a few feet away from the head of Summer's bed.
"I think this break up is stupid."
Seth snorted as he smiled falsely, letting his head fall down to his chest.
"No, I mean it, Seth. It's stupid and ridiculous and I don't want it."
"Yes, you do," Seth told her quietly.
"No, I don't. You aren't me so I don't see how you know what I want."
"Because I know you, Summer. And that message you left me that night was real. And you deserve to have fun at college – experience new things. You deserve that happiness of partying and having fun instead of spending time in your dorm room talking to me."
"Shut up, Cohen! You don't even know what you're talking about because you aren't at college!"
"You're right. I'm not," Seth got up from the chair, retreating back towards her door. "I gotta go."
"If you walk out that door, I swear to God once my foot heals I'll kick your ass."
Seth laughed as he turned back around, holding the doorframe. "I've missed you too, Summer."
"Then don't leave."
"Summer…"
"Seth, don't leave."
Seth came back into her room and sat on her bed once more, enveloping her in a tight hug. "I would never just leave you. Jesus, I can't even leave you now like I should."
Summer's slow tears turned into bawls of sobs and she gripped the back of Seth's t-shirt, leaving imprints of her nails on his covered skin. "Cohen, I love you."
"I love you too, Sum," Seth professed as he pulled away. "But you're really not gonna like me in a few minutes."
"Why?"
"I'm not going to Rhode Island."
"What?" Summer sat there, staring at him in astonishment. "Why not?"
"With Ryan going through all shit because of Marissa and not going to Berkeley and my parents having a difficult time as it was keeping themselves together, I figured it'd probably be best if I went to school around here, instead. So I applied to USC and got in – in November."
A wave of realization dawned on Summer as she searched Seth's brown eyes that matched her own. "That's why you let me break up with you."
Seth nodded as he stroked Summer's silky and strawberry-smelling hair. "Yeah. Long distance stuff never works and I didn't want us to try and then end up hating each other because of it. I want us to stay friends, Sum."
Summer shook her head violently, causing Seth's fingers to drop from her hair as she grabbed the sides of his face, staring deeply at him. "I hate Brown. I hate Rhode Island. I hate the East coast. I don't want to go back there."
"Summer…"
"I'm not just saying this, Cohen. I hate it."
"You're going back for Spring semester in a few weeks."
"Not anymore," Summer shook her head. "I wanna stay here. In California. With you."
"Summer, you can't just drop out of Brown."
"Yes, I can. And I'm going to. I'll apply at USC and we can be together."
"I don't want you doing this for me."
Summer sighed, pausing before she told him her next statement. "Seth, you're home to me."
This time Seth sat back, releasing Summer's still grip on his face. "What?"
"Nothing at Brown is right. Everything is boring and dull and nothing I like. I want something that makes me feel like home. And even this house isn't it anymore. The beach – maybe – but still it isn't like it used to be. You're the only thing that makes me happy anymore, Cohen. You're home."
"Summer, I really do love you. You know that, right?"
Summer nodded her head as she pulled on Seth's face bringing it closer to hers, searching her lips for his own. Their reuniting kiss was everything she imagined it would be. It was sensual as their tongues collided in the crevices of their mouths. It was passionate as their hands roamed the long uncharted territory of one another. And it was real as Seth pulled back, getting a glimpse of Summer's still beautiful and familiar face before returning his mouth to her matching puzzle piece one. It was perfect and reckless and everything it should be.
And if it was nothing else – it was home.