Title: It Begins and Ends with Polyjuice

Written for the Pick a List competition prompt #2 (Polyjuice), the Gender-Swap Boot Camp prompt #36 (beginnings), the 50 Ways to Say Goodbye challenge and the Your Favorite Hogwarts House Boot Camp prompt #26 (common room).

Type of story: romance/humor/payback

Rated T

"This- this is all your fault!"

"My fault? How is it my fault? I was just sitting here minding my own business until you came along and started messing with things!"

"Hey, how am I supposed to know what you're doing in here Granger? I didn't realize this was going to happen!"

"Ugh!" She reached up and grabbed her hair, coming up empty. Oh yeah, she forgot that it was really short and blonde at the moment. "If you didn't touch my things we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"Oh, contraire Granger, I believe we would've ended up like this anyway." He glanced in the mirror, fidgeting with his clothes. "My clothing is just as baggy as yours usually is. No wonder no one can tell what you look like. I must say Granger, you have a fairly large pair of-"

"Malfoy," she warned, placing her hands on her hips. "Don't even go there."

They were currently standing in Hermione's room. Due to Draco being an annoying, curious jerk, they were now dealing with each other in a much closer perspective than either of them were comfortable with. Indeed, she felt like she could kill him at this point and not feel a hint of guilt.

"I can't believe you keep a stash of Polyjuice potion," the man continued, looking himself over in the mirror. "I mean really, that seems like something that I would do, but not you. If I knew this was going to happen, then I would never have put it in our drinks and had us take some."

"You're a complete idiot, you know that?" she grumbled, hands on her hips. "Do you understand how long we could be stuck like this?"

"Granger, it's Polyjuice, we aren't stuck this way forever."

"No," she agreed, rolling her eyes, but we might have to sleep this way. Then things will start getting awkward."

He looked away from that, nodding his agreement. "Okay, you might have a point there."

"Of course I have a point! We could be stuck this way until almost noon tomorrow! The potion can last anywhere between ten minutes and twelve hours. We have no idea when we will change back, just that we will at some point."

"Good. That means we can skip our morning classes."

"Malfoy!"

Sharing a common room seemed like a bad enough idea to Hermione in the beginning. Really, bunking down with Malfoy so nearby definitely wasn't something she got excited about doing, but at least there was a bathroom between them. They'd come up with a schedule over the past few weeks on how to use the bathroom even, so they never really had to cross paths. Then the idiot went and did something like this.

Okay, she could kind of understand where things seemed sketchy. She did have a small collection of Polyjuice potion sitting around in her room, but she had a reason for it. She had to get into a major healing program after her time at Hogwarts this year, and even though she was academically sound the program always looked for new-age thinkers. And that was something she wasn't so sure about. So she constructed a plan with multiple Polyjuice potions to turn in as her entry assignment.

Explaining her thought process on the matter took way too long, so more often than not she just didn't say anything on the matter. She had ten different potions overall, one for herself included. She had most of them from her friends, but she did have a Malfoy potion as well, courtesy of his comb. He hadn't really been alerted of that. Maybe she should've said something beforehand.

But she now knew that wasn't what drew his attention. She kept her potions in her room, locked away, and she doubted he'd ever seen them until today. Beginning last week people started going on and on about love potions. The new professor in potions class had a competition going. If you could correctly complete ten love potions he would give you a powerful one to use. Granted, she thought that was just a bad repeat of the time another teacher tried the same thing, but didn't say anything on the matter. She wasn't even going to try on that one.

Enter Lavender Brown. Lavender had an annoying addiction to Ron still, who was her current boyfriend. She planned to use the love potion (which she apparently thought she was going to win) to make Ron fall in love with her. Hermione probably let that get to her head more than she should've.

She went on a long rant about Lavender's lack of brain power and inability to create all the potions correctly and efficiently. That's how she got entered into the blasted contest. She had to win not only to best Lavender, but also to ensure that she didn't have any more unneeded drama to deal with regarding that woman.

And Malfoy just happened to hear about it. Of course, he had no way of knowing that she hadn't even started on the potions yet...

There was a rumor going around that he wanted to play a nasty prank on someone. Who and why, Hermione didn't know, but he did need a love potion to do it. And when he found out his roommate was creating several, he decided to snoop around. Finding little bottles with names on them though obviously wasn't what he expected. And finding his name sitting directly next to Hermione's caused him to jump to conclusions.

Obviously, he'd never made a love potion before. Polyjuice and love potions look nothing alike. But either way, he freaked out. And now Hermione was left wondering what could possibly convince him that giving them the opposite names as water was a good idea. He'd enchanted the liquid to look like whatever drink it was mixed with, and she foolishly drank it during an argument a few minutes ago, and the result was this.

Honestly, she couldn't wait to hear his blasted explanation. Then she was going to rip him a new one.

It's not like she wanted to spend her night as Malfoy. But it didn't look like she had much of a choice anymore.

Oh, she was going to kill him.

"This isn't funny," she continued, squaring her shoulders. It was really strange to talk to her own face, and look down while doing so. She was on the short side, and Malfoy was unnaturally tall. "I have things to be doing! I can't believe I have to deal with this problem on top of everything else!"

"Hey now, you're the one that keeps weird potions in your dresser. It's not my fault."

"Yes it is! You went snooping and now look at the mess we're in. Merlin, we can't even shower or change to go to sleep."

He shivered at her words. "I guess you have a point. There's no way I want you seeing me naked, and when you can freely touch no less."

"You idiot, that's what I'm worried you're going to do."

"Granger, I said you have a bigger pair of breasts than I first thought. That doesn't mean I'm interested in groping you."

"Good to hear." She sat down on the bed, rubbing her temples. "This can't be happening. I refuse to spend my night as a boy."

"Trust me Granger I'm not too excited either. I thought it was a love potion or something."

Her head snaps around at that, turning to look at him with wide eyes. "And you drank it despite thinking it was a love potion!?"

"I was curious to see what the hell you were trying to rope me into. I told my friend Blaise that if I acted really strange tomorrow to take me to the potions room and demand a cure."

"You've been snooping in here before… haven't you?"

"A few times, nothing too serious. You're not exactly like the other girls our age. You don't hide anything naughty in your room."

She scoffed. "Whatever Malfoy, we can discuss this downstairs. Now get out of my room."

"You're kicking me out already? What a shame."

"I think you've done enough destruction in here," she muttered, pushing him out. The woman slammed the door in her wake, not realizing how much stronger he was than her until that moment.

She really hoped this ended soon.

"I say we just sleep like this," he muttered, flexing her tiny feet. "If we're possibly going to be stuck like this the entire night we might as well at least get some rest. I'm exhausted Granger, and I have no intention of staying up all night just because you said so."

"There's no way I'm leaving you alone with my body," she replied, shaking her head. "You're delirious too if you think that's going to happen. No, we don't go back to our rooms and we certainly don't sleep alone. Maybe on opposite sides of this floor maybe, but not alone."

"And if I have to go to the bathroom?"

She could feel a blush creep up on her cheeks at that, and his eyebrows shot up. Now he knew why he never blushed. He looked so stupid that way. "Just… hold it."

"Hold it? Granger I'll let you know this right now; that's not going to happen. If I have to go I'm going, and the same for you. Period."

"You really can be an absolute, stubborn prick can't you?"

"It took you that long to figure it out?" he asked, giving her a funny look. "Besides the clothes you're wearing look like they don't even fit my body. The stitches are going to rip apart at any moment."

"And what? You think I should change?"

"If you're worried about us undressing separately I'm pretty sure you'll side of embarrassment if they rip off your- my- body."

Her eyebrows drew together. "And what about you? Shouldn't you change too?"

"Um, no. See the clothing I'm wearing is ridiculously large on your itty bity body but at least when I morph back I won't have the problem you're having now. If you don't change, you'll have it soon enough."

Sighing, she reached up and rubbed her eyebrows. "Just get me some clothes then will you?"

"Leave my boxers on Granger."

"Oh trust me Malfoy, I never had any intention of taking them off."

Two hours passed very slowly. Dressed in Malfoy's clothes Hermione felt extremely awkward, but like she could now breathe. They spent the first half hour after she changed doing homework to distract themselves, until they got too tired and ended up just sitting there silently.

Only three hours total had passed so far. Draco was pretty sure they would die waiting for this to be over.

"So why do you keep an assortment of Polyjuice in your room?"

She glanced over at him. "Does it matter?"

"Um, yes."

"It's for an entry project into a Healer program. Now I'm going to have to redo it seeing as two of my samples have been used."

"Oh, how terribly sad for you. And why did you have a sample of me exactly?"

She shrugged sheepishly, glancing away. "I borrowed a piece of your hair from your comb. I wanted a certain amount of samples, and by including you and me, I had that number. Now I'll have to redo two."

"So I should be worried about you stealing my DNA out of the bathroom?" he asked, sounding a bit weirded out. She shrugged again, looking back at him.

"Not usually. I won't need them for the blasted love potions you thought I was making."

"Hey, it was possible. You did throw a pretty big fit about making sure Brown got beaten in that competition. Are you that worried that dear Weasley is going to leave you?"

"Ron would only leave me because he's under the influence of the drug," she snapped, though she didn't sound convinced. Shoving blond fringe out of her face, she sighed. "Lavender is just very persistent about getting what she wants."

"So I've noticed. Is she the one that chased him around during sixth year?"

"The clingy insane one? Yes, that would be her."

"Huh. You know Weasley gives her a lot of looks."

The brunette stiffened at that. "What exactly are you talking about?"

"Don't act stupid Granger. Everyone sees it. She's pretty damn obsessed with the Weasel, and she's not shy about it either. I'd be lying if I said I haven't seen him watching her sometimes. She catches his interest."

"She annoys the hell out of him."

"That might be true Granger, but that doesn't mean he isn't a man. He sees someone that catches his attention, and he checks her out. Plenty of people have seen it happen."

Briefly she looked away, processing the information. She'd heard the same information before, and discussed this with Ron on more than one occasion. He always denied that anything was going on between them, but lately she had a sneaking suspicion that he wasn't being truthful. He wasn't connected during their conversations, and he rarely looked her in the eye anymore. His hugs were empty, and his kisses were less than satisfactory. Yes, she knew that something might be going on behind her back.

But hearing Malfoy testify to something like that. It was one thing when people who cared about her informed her, because she knew they were being honest. It was another when someone who hated her had something to say on the matter. It certainly made her question things.

None of her friends ever saw Ron doing anything with Lavender, they just had their suspicions and occasionally saw the looks the two exchanged, the same looks Malfoy was apparently talking about.

"Have you seen them together?" she asked, her voice sounding funny. He arched one of her brown eyebrows at her side, tilting his head.

"Do you honestly want an answer Granger?"

She glanced away, steeling her emotions. She was afraid of an answer like that. If she cried in Malfoy's body though she was pretty sure he would lose his mind. Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself, turning back as calmly as she could.

"And… what were they doing?"

"Are you sure you want an answer to that?"

"It's a hallway!" she cried, eyeing him. "What could they possibly be doing that's so awful?"

He arched an eyebrow. "First of all Granger, there are plenty of inappropriate things one can do in a hallway. And for the record, the time I'm referring to had nothing to do with a hallway. We're the Head students, remember? I was passing by a classroom one day and heard them. I didn't dare go inside from the noises coming out, but I did send a rather nasty spell under the door. Brown screamed after that and the noise stopped."

She bit her lip, staring down at the floor. So, from what he was saying, Ron was cheating on her. Maybe Lavender didn't need that love potion after all. She closed her eyes.

"Sorry to break it to you Granger, but I was just doing my job. They happened to be in an area I was patrolling when we split up one night instead of on your side of the floor. Weasley obviously doesn't have enough decency to stop dragging you through the dirt. If he's more interested in Brown, he should break things off with Brown so you're not being played."

"You sound like you actually give a damn."

"Hey, I might have a reputation for being with a lot of women, but I make sure that things are broken off with one before moving onto the next. I'm not trying to fool anyone. I just think Weasley's a jerk for what he's doing."

"Yeah, he is," she whispered, tucking her overly long legs up on the couch. She doubted she would ever get used to Malfoy's size.

"Don't get upset over it Granger. If he's willing to cheat he probably isn't worth the tears."

She couldn't believe that Malfoy was actually giving her advice in this moment. It was way too strange. Maybe being inside her body gave him a sympathetic side or something. Either way, she never imagined that he would be the one counseling her when she found out that Ron was no longer loyal to her.

She used the word when. Sitting there now, she realized she had a suspicion that something was amiss for a long time now. She just wasn't willing to believe it. Now she wasn't sure she could forget what Malfoy told her.

And she didn't know if she could stand the idea of seeing Ron again. She might slap him, hard.

Actually, she knew she would end up doing that.

"You're right," she said at length, adjusting on the couch again. "I guess I just never wanted to see the truth."

"Usually people don't," he agreed, yawning. "It's late Granger, can we just sleep? I promise I won't touch your body while I'm trying to pass out."

She nodded, finally feeling a bit numb. She just couldn't believe that the truth came out via Malfoy, and that she did actually believe him.

Oh, there would be words with Ron tomorrow, so many words. And she doubted they would be anything he wanted to hear. But she knew they needed to be said, and quickly. This couldn't continue on.

"Just go to bed Malfoy," she replied, hurrying away. He watched her go, but said nothing as she walked up to her room and slammed the door shut. He sat downstairs in the common room for several minutes after her departure.

He didn't realize he was touching on rough territory.

No that wasn't exactly true. He knew he was treading dangerous water, and he pushed forward anyway. He just didn't think she'd get so upset.

He thought she knew more than that. Granger seemed to be in denial about her cheating boyfriend. Hopefully that would change, and soon.

A knock on Draco's door the following morning woke him with a start, and yawning he sat up. Since they didn't know when the potion would wear off, he didn't even bother with an alarm. Glancing at the time he realized that their first class was well underway, almost over.

Stretching, he immediately noticed something. He didn't have dainty female hands anymore, and he could reach out farther than he had the night before. Smirking he hopped out of bed, completely ignoring the door as he dashed to the mirror.

His face stared back at him, not Granger's. Apparently the potion wore off sometime in the night, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't happy to be himself again. Being a female was way too weird for him.

"Malfoy!"

Oh yeah, he temporarily forgot about the door. Turning around he wandered over, thankful that his clothing wasn't trying to fall off of him now. Opening the door he found Granger, a pile of clothing sitting in her arms. And she was short again. Fabulous.

"I thought you might like these back," she said dryly, handing the pile over. He took it, studying her expression. She was solemn this morning, looking tired and like she hadn't really slept at all. Tossing the pile onto a nearby chair he turned and leaned against the doorframe arching an eyebrow at her.

"Bad sleep Granger?"

She shrugged. "I had a lot on my mind."

"Ah, thinking about lover boy I see?" She cringed at the word. "Okay, poor word choice. Thinking about Weasley then?"

"Yes."

"Well, don't. I believe you've wasted plenty of time on him. Break it off. Date Potter or something."

"Harry's with Ginny."

"Oh. Well, it's not like I keep much track of these things. Those are all your relationship problems."

She didn't bother asking what he was talking about. "Look Malfoy, thanks for telling me the truth and all. I'd rather you say something than keep it a secret."

He cocked his head to the side. "Well, um… anytime. But you're not going to keep dating the dolt, are you?"

She shrugged, glancing away. "Well, for a few more weeks."

"Granger, maybe you missed my entire point. You don't need to be dragged around by him. It would be much easier on yourself if you didn't keep letting him abuse the relationship."

"It's only temporary Malfoy, so don't start acting concerned. I need a little bit of time to put my plan into action."

He smirked at that. "You have a plan then? One that involves breaking up I hope."

"Of course," she replied mischievously. "In fact, you could even help me out if you would like."

"What would I have to do exactly?"

She grinned then, causing him to worry just a hair. "Do you happen to have a girlfriend or any current relationships to worry about?"

"Um, where are you going with this?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I'm not asking because I'm interested if that's what you're thinking. I'm just wondering if I could borrow you."

"For?"

She grinned again. "To help break up a relationship."

Over a month passed before anything happened involving Ron. Hermione kept quiet, not letting on that she knew he was cheating. She held her tongue, pasting a smile on her face every time she could. She even took special care to piss Lavender off.

And then she had Malfoy, who was all too willing to ruin a relationship. He even thought it might be fun.

Well, fun for them. She waited until a Hogsmeade weekend came along before putting her plan into action. She owled Ron, convincing him to come and have a quick dinner with her beforehand, and then they would sneak off and stay the night in Hogsmeade.

If he only knew what was really going to happen, he probably wouldn't go. But he did, and everything went swimmingly. She hoped that Malfoy could do just as well convincing Lavender to tag along with him. The woman was shallow enough that she would believe anything if you only paid her a compliment. In a way, she wondered if he had the easier side of this deal.

Getting him to drink the potion was probably the toughest part. After sending him up to a room with an adjoining door, she left two drinks up there and told him she'd be right back. Then she snuck off to find Malfoy, slipping into a little room they'd discovered a few days before.

Hermione thought the plan was working out better than she ever imagined. Taking a seat beside Draco, they exchanged smirks, sitting back to watch the drama unfold through a two-way mirror. She felt like she was an investigator in those cop movies.

Ron, after sitting for several minutes decided to take a drink. Since she had no intention of coming back, it didn't matter which one he took because she laced both. Immediately, he started changing.

"Did you really tell Lavender you'd be in the next room if she needed anything?" Hermione asked, glancing at her partner in crime.

"Well of course. She has it in her head that I'm a perfect gentleman. Delusional that one."

"Oh, I know."

They sat back and watched Ron change, taking on the shape of someone new. Not long after he stood up from the floor, groaning. Hermione suppressed a giggle.

"You're quite good with these Polyjuice potions Granger."

"I know. He looks exactly like her."

"Think he'll be mad?"

"Oh, I'm positive they will both want to skin me alive. I mean, this will ruin any plans-"

"Draco!" The door that joined two rooms together opened in from the room Lavender was standing in. Immediately the woman screamed, looking at a mirror image of herself.

So Hermione gave them each a Polyjuice potion that would change them into each other. It wasn't that messed up.

The Ron-turned-Lavender person stared at her. "Why are you calling out for Malfoy?"

Lavender's eyes widened. "Ron!?"

Hermione chuckled as she stood, Draco following suit. "Well, that note will appear now that they've changed. I think we know what will happen from here."

"Might be a bit of a rocky relationship," he agreed, glancing at the scene before them one last time before he pulled out his wand and tapped on the mirror in front of them, causing it to vanish. No one needed to know that they were up there.

"I think it'll be more than that. Ron's the jealous type. He's going to be pretty upset that she called out your name."

"And that you broke up with him through a note and a spell?"

"Yes. I don't feel bad about it either. If he wants to be sneaky and go behind my back then I don't need to respect him, because he doesn't respect me."

"Well said Granger." They stepped from the hotel, entering into the chilling dusk arm. Hermione tugged her jacket tighter, wondering why she didn't think to do this a little earlier. The walk back would be freezing.

"Say Granger, would you want to grab a butterbeer before we head back? It'll help keep us warm."

She smiled at that, looking her arm through his offered elbow. "I would love to Malfoy." Grinning, they started off together, cracking jokes about Lavender and Ron's misfortune.

Hermione couldn't help thinking about the note though, and how good it felt to be out of her failing relationship.

Darling, I hope you enjoy you're night. I'm sure that you and your real lover have plenty to talk about. And don't be upset, maybe this will even help strengthen your relationship. The two of you are on totally new ground now.

And don't you worry about me. I'm in good hands now.