(A/N) This is my first story on this new account. I actually haven't written a fanfiction in quite a while. I decided to start one on one of my favorite comic couples ever: Harley Quinn and Joker. I realize that they aren't "really" a couple, but I like to believe Joker has some sort of love for Harley and just doesn't know how to show it. This thought will be expanded in the story. There will be lots of mature content. I hope you like it, and criticism is always welcome.

TW: May include graphic descriptions of violent abuse.

Chapter 1

"Ready, puddin'?"

Harley Quinn and the Joker had devised the perfect plan to get rid of Batman. It was fool proof.

The couple hadn't tried anything on Batman for about 3 months. They spent this time thinking of the perfect plan to get rid of him. They set up in an abandoned factory a bit off the borders of Arkham. This place wasn't on any map or GPS. No one would be able to find them. They would turn on a fake Bat signal to attract Batman. Then, when he went inside to investigate they were going to capture him, strap him down, and fill his lungs with arsine, a poisonous gas. Then, Batman would be gone, once and for all.

"Switch on that Bat signal, Harley. It's time to exterminate this rodent."

Harley nodded and flipped a big switch, sending the Batman logo beaming in the night sky over the city. They both hid in the dark of the abandoned factory, waiting patiently for Batman to arrive.

Bruce Wayne was out for a walk, clearing his mind. Without the Joker harrrassing him, there wasn't much for him to do. Crimes decreased dramatically. But he knew Joker wasn't just leaving him alone. He had to be planning something. And judging by the 3 months that had already passed, Joker-free, it had to be something big. He gazed at the stars and noticed the Bat signal immediately, but he also noticed something was a bit... off. The signal was way too far to be from anywhere within the city.

Joker... He thought. I knew he was cliche but this is just redundant. I'd better go see what he's up to.

He rushed into costume, then drove off in the Batmobile towards the bright signal.

"Here he comes, boss!" Harley whispered, crouching down behind a machine.
"Shut up, he'll hear you!"

Batman slowly crept into the dark room. He was alert. He knew it was a trap. I mean, come on. He's been dealing with the Joker for how long now? It was predictable. He looked around, checking for any signs of the Joker. He found none. There were no eerie smiles painted on the dimly lit walls. There was no quiet chuckling in the shadows.

"Hmm. Maybe he isn't-"
"Now, Harley!"

Harley popped out of the shadows and swung a metal rod into Batman's head, knocking him out and sending him crashing to the floor. She giggled and admired her work.

"Hey, Batta Batta! Get it? Because Bat-"
"What have I told you about making jokes?! I make the jokes! Got that?! Now put him on the machine!"

Harley nodded reluctantly, lifting the heavy man up off the floor by his under-arms and, with Joker's help, placing him on the machine where the fun would begin. Harley was afraid of Joker. But she loved him. She wanted to make sure he was pleased at all times. Even if that meant getting chewed out or a backhand to the face every once in a while. Joker called it "tough love." She went right along with it. At least it was some kind of love, right?

Joker fastened straps on each of Batman's limbs and removed his belt which possessed his only tools for escape. He tossed it behind him. He began to ponder his plan and what was happening. He was really going to do it. He was finally gonna get rid of Batman. He laughed his loud, clownish laugh at this thought. Batman started to wake up. He had a horrible pain in his head.

"Well, hello, Sleepin' Beauty!" Harley exclaimed, one hand on her hip.
"Sorry for waking you, Batsy. But you're gonna have a nice, long rest in just a bit."

Batman struggled on top of the metal machine, attempting to move his arms. Seeing him struggle just made Harley and Joker laugh even more. He was tied down pretty tight. Shit... He thought. I shoudn't have come alone. He glanced over at his Utility belt which was thrown on the floor. He thought over and over again. What do I do, what do I do... His mind went blank.

"Well!" Joker gushed, clapping his gloved hands together once. "Let's not waste another moment. Harley, bring the arsine tank over, would you? I'll put the mask on him."

Harley picked up a gas tank and carried it over, placing it on the machine beside Batman. They attached the mask to a hose which would release the poisonous gas out of the tank and into Batman's lungs. Batman was actually afraid. He truly felt that he was about to die.

"You know, Batman, I've really enjoyed our little game. All those times you failed to catch me, all those times I failed to kill you... But this time, I win. Game over."

He cracked up. He was really enjoying this.

"Alright. Any last words, Bats?" Joker asked with an ear-to-ear grin plastered on his white face.
"Wh-"
"Whoops, too late!"

Joker turned the knob on the gas tank, releasing the gas into Batman's gas mask. He held his breath as long as he could. Tears welled in his eyes as he imagined what the Joker would do to Arkham when he was gone. He wouldn't be there to protect the city. The fear built in him as he held his breath, using all the power in him not to breathe in that gas. I can't die now... I can't die now... This was such an unusual feeling for Batman. He was supposed to be a hero. Now he was just a coward. He let go of his breath and inhaled, painfully accepting his fate.

He inhaled. He exhaled. He inhaled. He exhaled. Why wasn't he dying?!

"This is... This isn't arsine...This is Oxygen!"

Joker gasped incredulously. How could he still be alive?! Oxygen? But he specifically told Harley to-

Harley...

Harley sweated, suddenly remembering she had forgotten to pick up the arsine tank. Instead she had brought along this oxygen tank, which was helping Batman more than killing him.

"Harley. You... You idiot!" Joker barked while slapping her hard, knocking the inside of her plump cheek into her teeth. Blood began to fill her mouth. Joker pushed her to the floor. She landed on her bottom, raising her hands up for mercy.

"I-I'm sorry boss! I thought you were gonna get it! I-it's kinda funny right? It's like a joke-"

He kicked her stomach, sending her flying back and crashing into the concrete wall.

She groaned in pain, rubbing her stomach with her hand.

"How could someone possibly be so stupid? So fucking stupid! You ruined this entire plan, you stupid, useless moron! What are you good for?!"

She began to cry. He's said some hurtful things to her before, and of course given her a little physical discipline, but this truly hurt. They came up with this plan together. They'd stayed up all night, together. Sitting in Joker's office. Together. It made her feel like they were actually... Something. But they weren't.

"I'm sorry, Puddin'!" she cried, blood dripping out of her mouth.

Batman couldn't help but feel sorry. Obviously the pair had tried to kill him on many occasions, but he knew Harley was better than this. She didn't want to hurt anyone. She just wanted to make her "puddin'" happy. She just wanted to earn his affection, in the sickest, most psychotic ways.

"Harley Quinn," Batman called in his low voice. "Why do you put up with this? You know he doesn't love you. And you don't love him. You're more than just some clown girl. He's twisted your mind, Harleen. He just wants to use you like a puppet. Once he gets what he wants, you're out of the picture. He doesn't love you, Harleen. Is all this suffering really worth it?"

Harley wiped tears from her face, some white makeup coming off with it. She looked up at Joker, who was about to lunge at Batman. They weren't "something." They were nothing. She was nothing. To him, at least. But that was the last straw. She was going to end it. She sprung up and tackled him, sending him tumbling to the floor. She punched him several times, her delicate hands banging against his jaw. He got in a few hits and tried to push her off, but it seems all that frustration built up in her was stronger than he was physically.

Harley stood up over the Joker's now injured body. Blood ran between his stained yellow teeth. His eye twitched as he watched in disbelief. She strolled over to Batman and released him from the trap. She picked up his belt and handed it to him, giving him a slight nod to thank him. He sprinted into the shadows, secretly watching over the situation.

"You let him go?! What the hell is wrong with you? When I get my hands on you you are dead Harley! Dead!"

He walked towards her, his eyes full of hatrid and anger. She gave him one final kick to the crotch. He doubled over in pain.

"My name," she growled harshly, "is Harleen."