Title: I'm Scared
Author: Babyangel54224
Fandom: Warehouse 13
Rating: PG-13 bordering on M
Pairing: Myka/HG
Summary: What is really happening to Helena and does anyone care?
Warnings: Mentions of abuse and rape
Spoiliers: 3x06 vaguely
Author's Note: Based on fembuck's fic "Fear Itself" kinda This fic also brings up Dollhouse (tv series) yep that's about it
Disclaimer: Don't own Warehouse 13 or Dollhouse or characters :(
It was like I was Sierra. They just put my consciousness in a ball and then they used my body. One guy would just walk in and use my body. It's not like I could do much, if anything. Sometimes, I can even feel the forceful thrust inside me and it brings tears to my eyes. Not that they are real since I don't have a body. I mainly just hope that it'll all be over soon.
It's not like I didn't feel like this before. No, I'm not talking about when I was bronzed. No, no one could hurt me. There just my thoughts of Christina and anger but before that. In the 1800's, before Christina, before my life as a warehouse agent, before I started writing my books, before my brother acted like he was me. No, when we were little and I was seen as beautiful and everyone wanted a piece of me even if I wasn't old enough to attend communion. But it was well known that someone of my stature had to be perfect in every way. From the way I dressed to my first lay. And not to complain, never complain. What could make me better?
I don't know how my mother could how I could stand something this horrible happen to me night after night but she never stood up for me and neither did I. I remember being just like this, feeling a little bit of something but looking on sullenly as my body took what was necessary for me.
I wanted to see Myka. Maybe even to just see her beautiful smile again or watch her sleep peacefully or even watch her expressions reading my book but it was also painful knowing how I couldn't touch her, not even when I could see her in person, when her eyes shone for a moment as if I had come back to her, like she loved me. I know I fucked up but how can I not touch my lover. How can she not save me from this hell?
I do not blame her like I blame my mother. Then again, I don't blame my mother like I blame my brother, uncle, father, or these men or should I say animals and nothing more. Sure, she could do something. She can save me and I haven't given up hope on her. When she has those nightmares and screams out my name, my heart breaks but my hope strengthens, in the faith that she will come for me and save me.
I know how my mother was taught so she would never go against her husband even for her child, it was accepted. No one cried over a fucked over child. No, they shrugged it off with a 'not my problem' and the child suffered alone.
Now, as I look down at Myka holding Claudia close. How I wish I could do that. I hear her whisper my name and I'm mixed between the feeling that I'm about to be summoned or that I would just have to look down on a girl who was almost a daughter to me from afar. A girl who I'd torture the person who hurt her to disbelief maybe even make a new gadget that would probably get me sent back here, when I think about it. But that person would suffer never-ending torment like never before. I doubt that I'd feel an ounce of regret about that.
That is when I was called out of my limbo life-form and in front of Myka and a recently composed Claudia. How badly I wished to touch them but I put my hand down before I could distress anyone anymore than necessary. Oh my darling Myka and my dear Claudia. Myka looked up at me and I saw that shine before she swallowed hard and said,
"She wanted to see you. See we were just- well we just got back from Fargo's- one of the guys like Claudia because he got stuck in a video game. Well we had to go in it and face our greatest fear. Claudia wanted to tell you hers."
"Well my parents died a while back and-and my brother well he- never mind about him but I got sent to an institution if you didn't know."
HG just nodded.
"and they used to do this thing like electric shock treatments where they had to- had to strap you down and- um you could only wear a gown if you were lucky- and um yeah I just wanted to just tell you keep you in the loop or something."
She holds Myka tighter almost as if she held Myka tight enough she could hold HG.
"Thank you for 'keeping me in the loop' I really appreciate you telling me about you."
She gave her a soft smile. Myka looked up at her and said,
"How are they treating you?"
"Truthfully I cannot answer that. Did you have to conquer your fear?"
"No in and out." Myka said.
"Good. Good."
It was that moment that she felt it that agonizing pain, the pain that went right through her. She fell to one knee while trying to hold back a scream causing only a whimper to escape the hand covering her mouth.
"Helena! Are you okay? What happened? What's going on?"
They came back. She thought but all could do is close her eyes tightly as tears started to escape. Myka reached out to touch her but Helena screamed,
"No! Don't touch me!"
Then she grabbed her head. Myka recoiled and asked softly,
"Do you want me to-"
She pointed at the ball. Helena just softly shook her head tears falling down her cheeks. She just wasn't ready to watch this.
"Just give me a minute."
She took a few deep breaths and willed the pain away knowing that her real body was gonna be shit when/if she got it back. Helena slowly opened her eyes looking softly/brokenly at the two.
"Sorry. They are just a bit rough sometimes."
They looked back teary eyed.
"Don't feel bad on my account."
She tried to force a smile which came out more like a cringe.
"You can send me back now. I didn't mean to cause you two any pain or worry."
Myka slowly grabbed the ball and said,
"Helena."
And softly sighed trying not to say I love you. Myka softly nodded as if to allow Helena her last words. This time Helena didn't hold back, she couldn't take this much longer.
"Myka, I'm scared. They're hurting me. Save me. Please I need you. I'm so sorry. I love you."
Then as if they knew she had said something the pain came back ten-fold and she let out a ear piercing scream as Myka closed the ball watching Helena grab her necklace before whispering,
"l love you too."
It was that moment that she looked into Claudia's eyes and then called Mrs. Fredrick. As soon as she appeared, Myka said,
"I want to see Helena in person, now. If you don't let me I'm taking this whole place down with me."
Mrs. Fredrick looked at her for a moment then nodded and she was brought to her cell immediately. The men had rushed out as quickly as they could and Helena's body was left the way it was. Myka walked in seeing Helena's naked, weak, bruised body laying sprawled out on the mattress. Her covers were dirty and bloody. With the ball still in her arms she opened it into Helena's real body. It was when Helena let out an agonizing grown that Myka knew everything was gonna be okay. She turned around to Mrs. Fredrick who had a surprised look on her face.
"What? Are you gonna say 'I didn't know.' Or 'I had no idea it was this bad.' Cause you still knew you knew and you didn't do anything. Not a damn thing. See what happens? See what happens."
Myka walked over to Helena, leaned over, and picked her up. She wasn't very heavy. They obviously hadn't been feeding her much if anything at all. She walked back over to Mrs. Frederic who said,
"We should take her to the infirmary."
"Here? Here! Where one of them probably hurt her? I'm bringing her to the Warehouse with me."
She was quickly sent back in front of Claudia, Pete, Artie, and Jinks. Claudia was the first to snap out of the shocked haze they were in running over and saying,
"HG!"
She slowly moved a hair from her face only to see another bruise. She immediately started shouting orders.
"Artie. Go call Dr. Calder. Get her here ASAP. I don't care who you have to call. Call fucking Mrs. Frederic if you have to just get her here now! Jinks. Pete. Grab a table and thick covers so we can put her down somewhere. I'm gonna go see if there is an artifact that can help her in some way. And Myka, just stay with her and keep her calm. Talk to her, tell her a story, just help her, okay?"
They all nodded and ran to do their tasks. Dr. Calder was in within 5 minutes. When she walked in with her bag of medical supplies she said,
"Someone told me to come here as soon as possible what- Helena! My god, what did they do to you?"
She rushed over to her and started examining her but within a minute she took out a syringe and said, "I'm sorry Helena you're going to have to take a nap for a little while, okay?"
Helena stiffened but Myka whispered something in her ear and she relaxed. Vanessa took that opportunity to inject her and then told everyone that they could go. However, the women refused and Dr. Calder just sighed and nodded.
After gently sponging Helena down she examined her. She stated the obvious that Helena was malnourished, severely beaten and repetitively raped. She also said that Helena shouldn't move for at least 24 hours even with the medication and the quick healing artifact that Claudia had found.
When Helena awoke she noticed that she couldn't move. There was nothing binding her to the bed but what? Where is she? She then heard Myka whispering in her ear,
"Don't worry you're safe. Dr. Calder said you shouldn't move for at least 24 hours. Oh and that's just an artifact holding you down. Don't worry you can move."
Myka softly caressed her face.
"And yes you are real. I can really touch you."
She knew Helena would have grinned.
"Go to sleep now Helena I will talk to you in the morning."