Chapter One
He hadn't been the same since she left.
Everyone around the lab could sense him retreating back into himself, much like he had done once before, when his hearing had began to fade. But this was different. They were engaged. He loved her. She was the one thing that meant the most to him in the entire world, the one person who understood him, who accepted him.
And now she was gone.
The days seemed to drag. He wouldn't talk to anybody. Not even Catherine. He was pretty sure they wouldn't understand, and his duties as nightshift supervisor wouldn't allow him to bring his personal issues to work. Day after day, he now found himself walking sluggishly through the office as Conrad Ecklie strolled past him, that self-satisfied grin on his face.
She was everything he could ask for in a woman. Every night when he went home to his apartment, he'd stand at the counter and forget what he was doing. He'd think of her in the lab, he'd think of their engagement, the proposal, her kiss goodbye. Her letter, the one that told him she was leaving, was rested on the counter. Call it a sick fascination or preoccupation, but he read it daily since she had left. It all seemed so surreal; the woman he had been with for so long, the woman he had known and had trusted and had brought to his lab after Holly Gribbs had been murdered was gone. The love of his life was somewhere out there, doing what she needed to do.
Sara Sidle was a bleeding heart. He knew it. He had always tried to change that, because his heart would break with each case that ended unhappily. He would watch as she would stalk past him and wait in the car, with tears streaming down her face. It hurt him every time. He always longed to reach out to her, she seemed so alone, with so much that he didn't know about. And it was her past that made her leave. That, and maybe with a little bit of the Miniature Killer.
He had been so afraid for her when she had gone missing. And he knew he had shocked the team when he had come clean about his relationship with Sara. But she was everything to him, and the thought of her trapped under a car with death as a strong possibility...he may have had the reputation by some to be a man with no feeling, but the idea of attending Sara's funeral was too much for him to take.
Since she had left, the lab had been extra-nice to him. Except for Brass. He appreciated that. He wanted to keep it business as usual. Sara was gone, but crime was still happening, and murders and burglaries and other various crimes still needed to be solved. With Sara gone, he threw himself back into his work with excessive force.
Warrick Brown had tried talking to Grissom, relating Sara's abrupt departure with his divorce, but Grissom wasn't really listening. He politely thanked Warrick for his advice. He knew that time would heal everything, that the pain he felt, that raw, chest-wrenching pain, would fade eventually. But she would always be on his mind.
He knew Catherine Willows was bothered about him not confiding in her. They had such a close relationship, but this was something that he would have rather dealt with on his own.
When he punched out of work, and climbed into his midnight blue Chevy Tahoe, he always took a second to stare at his weathered eyes in the rearview mirror. Then he'd look at the passenger's side. But there was nobody there. And for all he knew, she would never be there again.
He knew her life had been hard. She had overcome so much. And he knew in order for her to be healthy, to be happy, she needed to go. But, selfishly, it hurt.
He punched out of work at around two in the morning. The air was crisp, cold, almost biting. He wondered what Sara was doing, if she was okay. It had been three months since she had left, and a day hadn't passed since she had left that he hadn't thought about her in some way, shape or form. He climbed into his Tahoe. He knew he would need some sleep to get through the next day. He and Catherine were working a burglary case. They had captured the suspect, but there were a couple court appearances and last minute paperwork to be filed. He decided to let Catherine do the trial; she understood. He knew the lab wanted to reach out to him, but he knew at this point, there wasn't really anything that they could do for him. He just needed time.
When he got home, he didn't bother to check his messages. He threw his coat over a chair and made his way to bed. He would have worked all night if sleep weren't so important. He smiled; recalling the time Sara had gone three weeks without a day off.
Every night since Sara had left, he had difficulty falling asleep. He'd lie in bed, staring at the empty pillow beside him, and he'd smile sadly at the glaring alarm clock on the nightstand. He'd watch the time click down until he eventually had to get up and go to work.
Tonight wasn't any different. By three-thirty, he was close to falling asleep. His thoughts had slowed down, his eyes were closing...
But the phone rang in the kitchen.
He debated on not answering it. But he was sure it could have been Brass. It could be an emergency. With a deep sigh, he pulled back the blankets and made his way out to the kitchen and answered the phone.
"Grissom."
"Gil."
Her voice.
"Sara?"
"Gil...I need you to help me."
"Sara, what's going on? Where are you?"
"I messed up really badly, Gil. Please help me."
"Sara, where are you?"
"I didn't mean to...I didn't mean it..." Her voice was racked with sobs.
"Sara, tell me where you are. I'll come get you...Sara?"
The phone went dead.