Title: The Light In Her Eyes (a sequel to "Purgatory")
Chapter: One/Two
Pairing: Willow/Buffy, Willow/Tara
Rating: PG-16
Spoilers: Yep, anything is up for grabs.
Timeline: Before Adam
Beta Reader: Scotty ' The fox ' Welles
Disclaimer: Not mine yet.
A Month Later
Hands slid over her naked body, tracing each scar, reminding her of
what the month had held for her. A long, thick scar from above her
heart to her womb. Smaller, thin scars covered her chest, arms, and
legs where an overzealous Walsh had taken the great joy of
interrogating her for information. What the older woman wanted to know
was beyond her. She had never said, and she had never asked.
A long, thin scar covered her C-section, where one of the doctors had
removed her uterus. Population control, making sure that the monster
could never have a child. Her once-smooth back was now a layer of
welts from her first attempt at escape. She'd been dragged into a
closed-off room, that smelled of dried blood and death. The solider
had smirked darkly, sending fear shooting through her
already-unresponsive battered body.
"It seems someone needs to be taught a lesson," he'd snarled.
Her right hand still carried the scars from her busting the mirror, and
the tattoo with the number glaring back at her from her left wrist was
a constant reminder she hide with a long, thick leather gauntlet. But
nothing was as bad as her eyes.
The once-sparkling orbs that had held so much joy were now cold.
Emotionless, from the nightmares of Riley's dead body. Of the memories
of pain and torture that had left her emotionally crippled. Unable to
bring herself to trust anybody. Lifelong friends that had once been
her world were now hard to be around.
They were the people that had helped save her, but every time she
looked at them, she remembered. They had gone from one extreme to
another. When she'd first gotten out of the hospital, they'd been
overcautious, treating her with kid gloves. Then when she'd exploded
over it, they had gone the other way. Completely ignoring the whole
situation.
Turning from the image of her body, she pulled on her clothes, another
change she had made. In the last month, she'd started wearing loose
pants and long-sleeved shirts or sweaters, to hide the scars. She
couldn't stand the idea of allowing anyone to see any part of her body.
"Hey, you ready to go?"
She sighed as Buffy entered the room. The Slayer was practically
stalking her. Walking her every place, hovering nearby most of the
time. It was ridiculous. She'd tried to reason with her, but Buffy
had been stubborn on the subject. At one point she'd screamed out that
she'd murdered Buffy's lover, in hopes of driving her away, but the
Slayer had simply said, "Good."
Tara had been easier. It had taken a week of consistently telling her
that she wanted to break up but the witch had hugged her tightly.
"I'll be here when you change your mind."
But she wasn't going to change her mind. She was gay, she'd suspected
as much through out high school. Her jealousy over the
Xander-Cordiella thing was more over his getting Cordy than of Cordy
getting Xander. The love she felt for him was real, but now she
recognized it for what it was, as a brother.
"Willow?"
She turned her head to the side, getting a glance of Buffy. The worry
lines and black circles under her eyes were still there. She'd first
noticed them the morning she'd woken up in the hospital, to find her
best friend perched in the chair next to the bed. Her body alert, but
dozing. "You don't have to walk with me."
Buffy's eyes hardened noticeably. "I needed to drop my books off
anyway."
She snorted softly. Her friend was standing there with nothing in her
arms, and her book bag was across the room on her desk. Who was she
trying to fool? But then again, they were both trying to fool the
other lately.
"Right." She grabbed the worn black leather jacket from her closet and
pulled it on. Inhaling the scent of old tobacco pipes, and leather.
Her grandfather had left it for her after he'd died, but until recently
she'd never worn it.
"It's to warm out for that..."
Buffy trailed off as Willow glared at her friend. She loved the
blonde, but she needed the comfort of the oversized leather jacket. It
made her feel safe, giving her a sense that her grandfather was there,
ready to wrap her in his bulky arms. Cradling her until the nightmares
had left. She could hear his deep, resounding voice, as he spoke of
his time in England. The thick smell of his pipe engulfing her, inside
his study.
"Wills, I'm worried about you."
She cocked her head to the side, studying her friend hard. The Slayer
met her eyes steadily, searching for something. Ignoring the scared
child in her, crying out to sink into her friend's arms and let her
protect her, she simply left the room.
Buffy grabbed her arm, turning her to her. "Willow. You've got to
deal with this."
Staring into those pleading blue eyes, she spoke softly. "We're going
to be late."
"...we'll need to perform the spell."
Willow narrowed her eyes as Giles raised his eyebrows in question to
Tara. Another problem she had with them. Now, they turned to Tara for
a lot of the spells they needed. They said it was only until she was
stronger, but she was as strong as she was going to get, and they still
turned to her ex.
"I'm not powerful enough to do it." Tara smiled over at her. "Willow
can do it, though."
She nodded in confirmation at Giles' penetrating stare. After a long
moment of tension, he smiled at her. "Very well, if you feel up to
it?"
"I'm ready," she answered quietly.
"I don't like it."
She rolled her eyes as Buffy spoke from her position beside her. She
was going to have to have a talk with the Slayer, and one way or
another she was going to come out the winner in this. "I'm doing it."
Buffy shook her head, stubborn to the end. "Willow, you've just been
through a traumatic..."
"A month ago."
"...experience. One that you haven't dealt with yet, and if you think
I'm just going to stand by and let you..."
"LET me...?" She realized exactly how dangerous her low, cold-steel
tone must have sounded. The others were watching wide eyed, their
heads going back and forth between them.
"I just mean that you're my best friend, and I don't want anything to
happen to you."
"So instead, you're just going to keep me locked away from the world?"
Their eyes stayed locked on each other, both unwilling to back down.
This had been coming for a while, and now it was too late for them to
turn back.
"If that's what it takes, then yes."
"And if you keep treating me like a helpless child, then I will do what
I have to, to stop you."
"What are you going to do? Turn me into a frog?"
She saw the trick for what it was, and she wasn't about to back off.
"I mean it, Buffy. If I have to move back in with my parents, then so
be it."
Buffy's mouth moved a few times. For her to say THAT, it would have to
be drastic. Her parents were on the verge of disowning her over the
gay thing. "You wouldn't."
Willow simply sat back and took a long drink from her espresso.
Ignoring the Slayer that limply collapsed back into her chair, the
seriousness of it hitting her.
"Fine. I'll back off." Buffy swallowed under her glare. "I promise."
Satisfied for the time being, she turned back to Giles. "Now, what's
the spell?"
She walked along the path, enjoying the feeling of being truly alone.
She'd made sure that Buffy had been distracted when she'd left the
Magic Box. The night air caressed her sore body, drifting her mind
into a familiar daydream, where everything was back to the way it used
to be. No Initiative, no demons, no Slayer. The only problems she had
were dealing with Cordy and her clones.
A flicker of red light split through the shadows from the dorms. She
sighed and paused on the path, her eyes focusing on the full moon.
"Checking on me too? Or you just out looking for a midnight snack?
Oops, I forgot, you can't."
A snort of laughter with a British accent reached her ears. "Actually,
Red, I was looking for you."
"Oh?"
"I figured we had something in common now."
She ran a shaking hand through her short red hair, knowing what he
meant. "A weakness for blonde women with great bodies?"
"All right, two things in common." He sighed heavily, like a man
bearing a great burden. "I never though I'd escape those butchers.
Hell, they could teach Angelus a few things."
"You know what hurt the worst?" she asked softly. "The first day they
tattooed a number on my arm. My great aunt used to talk about the
holocaust, the only one of her five sisters to survive."
"I remember it. Me and Dru were there." He snorted in disgust.
"Hell, they even tried to take her. Taught those bastards a lesson
they never forgot."
"I would've liked to seen that." She smiled sadly as she stared down
at the leather gauntlet hiding the tattoo.
"Yeah, well at least we won't have to worry about that commando wannabe
anymore."
"Riley?"
"Is that farm boy's name?"
She shuddered, remembering the sound of the gunshot. The tinge of
smoke filtering her nose as his body fell lifeless to the floor. "I
murdered him."
"You defended yourself. Besides, a little blood does a person good.
The thrill of the kill..." He trailed off, pushing himself off the
wall so she could see him. "That's what's bothering you. You feel
guilty because you don't feel guilty."
She turned away from him, rubbing her arms suddenly cold. "I hated
him. He...he cold-bloodedly captured me, then stood by while they...I
wanted to kill him. I wanted to see him in pain. I wanted..."
"You wanted to see his blood." He flicked his cigarette away. "I hate
to say it, but what you did was self-defense."
"But..."
"It doesn't matter what you felt or thought. He had a gun on you, one
he would've used if you hadn't fired first. It was justified."
The heaviness lifted from her chest. The assurance coming from someone
who knew death so intimately was more real than having someone like
Xander say it. Pulling the lean man into her arms, she pecked him on
his cheek. "Thank you."
He dropped his head bashfully, watching her walk away. "You can come
out now."
Buffy left the shadows of the trees. "I owe you one."
He smirked at her and winked. "That kiss more than made up for it.
Quite a catch, that one."
She glared after his retreating form, annoyed by the jolly tune he was
whistling. In the back of her mind, she wondered why it bothered her
so much that her friend had kissed him.
Chapter: One/Two
Pairing: Willow/Buffy, Willow/Tara
Rating: PG-16
Spoilers: Yep, anything is up for grabs.
Timeline: Before Adam
Beta Reader: Scotty ' The fox ' Welles
Disclaimer: Not mine yet.
A Month Later
Hands slid over her naked body, tracing each scar, reminding her of
what the month had held for her. A long, thick scar from above her
heart to her womb. Smaller, thin scars covered her chest, arms, and
legs where an overzealous Walsh had taken the great joy of
interrogating her for information. What the older woman wanted to know
was beyond her. She had never said, and she had never asked.
A long, thin scar covered her C-section, where one of the doctors had
removed her uterus. Population control, making sure that the monster
could never have a child. Her once-smooth back was now a layer of
welts from her first attempt at escape. She'd been dragged into a
closed-off room, that smelled of dried blood and death. The solider
had smirked darkly, sending fear shooting through her
already-unresponsive battered body.
"It seems someone needs to be taught a lesson," he'd snarled.
Her right hand still carried the scars from her busting the mirror, and
the tattoo with the number glaring back at her from her left wrist was
a constant reminder she hide with a long, thick leather gauntlet. But
nothing was as bad as her eyes.
The once-sparkling orbs that had held so much joy were now cold.
Emotionless, from the nightmares of Riley's dead body. Of the memories
of pain and torture that had left her emotionally crippled. Unable to
bring herself to trust anybody. Lifelong friends that had once been
her world were now hard to be around.
They were the people that had helped save her, but every time she
looked at them, she remembered. They had gone from one extreme to
another. When she'd first gotten out of the hospital, they'd been
overcautious, treating her with kid gloves. Then when she'd exploded
over it, they had gone the other way. Completely ignoring the whole
situation.
Turning from the image of her body, she pulled on her clothes, another
change she had made. In the last month, she'd started wearing loose
pants and long-sleeved shirts or sweaters, to hide the scars. She
couldn't stand the idea of allowing anyone to see any part of her body.
"Hey, you ready to go?"
She sighed as Buffy entered the room. The Slayer was practically
stalking her. Walking her every place, hovering nearby most of the
time. It was ridiculous. She'd tried to reason with her, but Buffy
had been stubborn on the subject. At one point she'd screamed out that
she'd murdered Buffy's lover, in hopes of driving her away, but the
Slayer had simply said, "Good."
Tara had been easier. It had taken a week of consistently telling her
that she wanted to break up but the witch had hugged her tightly.
"I'll be here when you change your mind."
But she wasn't going to change her mind. She was gay, she'd suspected
as much through out high school. Her jealousy over the
Xander-Cordiella thing was more over his getting Cordy than of Cordy
getting Xander. The love she felt for him was real, but now she
recognized it for what it was, as a brother.
"Willow?"
She turned her head to the side, getting a glance of Buffy. The worry
lines and black circles under her eyes were still there. She'd first
noticed them the morning she'd woken up in the hospital, to find her
best friend perched in the chair next to the bed. Her body alert, but
dozing. "You don't have to walk with me."
Buffy's eyes hardened noticeably. "I needed to drop my books off
anyway."
She snorted softly. Her friend was standing there with nothing in her
arms, and her book bag was across the room on her desk. Who was she
trying to fool? But then again, they were both trying to fool the
other lately.
"Right." She grabbed the worn black leather jacket from her closet and
pulled it on. Inhaling the scent of old tobacco pipes, and leather.
Her grandfather had left it for her after he'd died, but until recently
she'd never worn it.
"It's to warm out for that..."
Buffy trailed off as Willow glared at her friend. She loved the
blonde, but she needed the comfort of the oversized leather jacket. It
made her feel safe, giving her a sense that her grandfather was there,
ready to wrap her in his bulky arms. Cradling her until the nightmares
had left. She could hear his deep, resounding voice, as he spoke of
his time in England. The thick smell of his pipe engulfing her, inside
his study.
"Wills, I'm worried about you."
She cocked her head to the side, studying her friend hard. The Slayer
met her eyes steadily, searching for something. Ignoring the scared
child in her, crying out to sink into her friend's arms and let her
protect her, she simply left the room.
Buffy grabbed her arm, turning her to her. "Willow. You've got to
deal with this."
Staring into those pleading blue eyes, she spoke softly. "We're going
to be late."
"...we'll need to perform the spell."
Willow narrowed her eyes as Giles raised his eyebrows in question to
Tara. Another problem she had with them. Now, they turned to Tara for
a lot of the spells they needed. They said it was only until she was
stronger, but she was as strong as she was going to get, and they still
turned to her ex.
"I'm not powerful enough to do it." Tara smiled over at her. "Willow
can do it, though."
She nodded in confirmation at Giles' penetrating stare. After a long
moment of tension, he smiled at her. "Very well, if you feel up to
it?"
"I'm ready," she answered quietly.
"I don't like it."
She rolled her eyes as Buffy spoke from her position beside her. She
was going to have to have a talk with the Slayer, and one way or
another she was going to come out the winner in this. "I'm doing it."
Buffy shook her head, stubborn to the end. "Willow, you've just been
through a traumatic..."
"A month ago."
"...experience. One that you haven't dealt with yet, and if you think
I'm just going to stand by and let you..."
"LET me...?" She realized exactly how dangerous her low, cold-steel
tone must have sounded. The others were watching wide eyed, their
heads going back and forth between them.
"I just mean that you're my best friend, and I don't want anything to
happen to you."
"So instead, you're just going to keep me locked away from the world?"
Their eyes stayed locked on each other, both unwilling to back down.
This had been coming for a while, and now it was too late for them to
turn back.
"If that's what it takes, then yes."
"And if you keep treating me like a helpless child, then I will do what
I have to, to stop you."
"What are you going to do? Turn me into a frog?"
She saw the trick for what it was, and she wasn't about to back off.
"I mean it, Buffy. If I have to move back in with my parents, then so
be it."
Buffy's mouth moved a few times. For her to say THAT, it would have to
be drastic. Her parents were on the verge of disowning her over the
gay thing. "You wouldn't."
Willow simply sat back and took a long drink from her espresso.
Ignoring the Slayer that limply collapsed back into her chair, the
seriousness of it hitting her.
"Fine. I'll back off." Buffy swallowed under her glare. "I promise."
Satisfied for the time being, she turned back to Giles. "Now, what's
the spell?"
She walked along the path, enjoying the feeling of being truly alone.
She'd made sure that Buffy had been distracted when she'd left the
Magic Box. The night air caressed her sore body, drifting her mind
into a familiar daydream, where everything was back to the way it used
to be. No Initiative, no demons, no Slayer. The only problems she had
were dealing with Cordy and her clones.
A flicker of red light split through the shadows from the dorms. She
sighed and paused on the path, her eyes focusing on the full moon.
"Checking on me too? Or you just out looking for a midnight snack?
Oops, I forgot, you can't."
A snort of laughter with a British accent reached her ears. "Actually,
Red, I was looking for you."
"Oh?"
"I figured we had something in common now."
She ran a shaking hand through her short red hair, knowing what he
meant. "A weakness for blonde women with great bodies?"
"All right, two things in common." He sighed heavily, like a man
bearing a great burden. "I never though I'd escape those butchers.
Hell, they could teach Angelus a few things."
"You know what hurt the worst?" she asked softly. "The first day they
tattooed a number on my arm. My great aunt used to talk about the
holocaust, the only one of her five sisters to survive."
"I remember it. Me and Dru were there." He snorted in disgust.
"Hell, they even tried to take her. Taught those bastards a lesson
they never forgot."
"I would've liked to seen that." She smiled sadly as she stared down
at the leather gauntlet hiding the tattoo.
"Yeah, well at least we won't have to worry about that commando wannabe
anymore."
"Riley?"
"Is that farm boy's name?"
She shuddered, remembering the sound of the gunshot. The tinge of
smoke filtering her nose as his body fell lifeless to the floor. "I
murdered him."
"You defended yourself. Besides, a little blood does a person good.
The thrill of the kill..." He trailed off, pushing himself off the
wall so she could see him. "That's what's bothering you. You feel
guilty because you don't feel guilty."
She turned away from him, rubbing her arms suddenly cold. "I hated
him. He...he cold-bloodedly captured me, then stood by while they...I
wanted to kill him. I wanted to see him in pain. I wanted..."
"You wanted to see his blood." He flicked his cigarette away. "I hate
to say it, but what you did was self-defense."
"But..."
"It doesn't matter what you felt or thought. He had a gun on you, one
he would've used if you hadn't fired first. It was justified."
The heaviness lifted from her chest. The assurance coming from someone
who knew death so intimately was more real than having someone like
Xander say it. Pulling the lean man into her arms, she pecked him on
his cheek. "Thank you."
He dropped his head bashfully, watching her walk away. "You can come
out now."
Buffy left the shadows of the trees. "I owe you one."
He smirked at her and winked. "That kiss more than made up for it.
Quite a catch, that one."
She glared after his retreating form, annoyed by the jolly tune he was
whistling. In the back of her mind, she wondered why it bothered her
so much that her friend had kissed him.