Happy New Year
by Hejira Hayes
Summary: Ash believes the phrase that makes up the title is an oxymoron. Why?
Disclaimer: I know the REAL Satoshi doesn't have Pokemon, but if there's one thing worse than a Pikachu with a mission, it's a lawyer with a fanfic in hand. I am making no profit from sharing this with other Pokemon fans, let alone the MST3Kers that lurk around these kinds of places.
Rating: G, AAML & JAJL
(Pika pi...Pikachu!)
Ash absolutely hated this day of the year. It was too awkward. It offered him something he wanted, but it seemed so...wrong. He always ended up drinking too much caffeine just to try and survive the night.
To make things worse, she would not leave his side this time. He tried going to the men's room and she waited outside. He tried dressing up as 'Ashley' again but she caught him. He said that he was going to catch a rare Pokemon, to which she replied that she always had aspirations of becoming a toaster when she grew up.
He almost wished that was true - toasters didn't have lips which you had to kiss on this particular day. So far, he had managed to evade the situation - even though he hated (and barely remembered) the day he decided that a Jynx was closer to him than the redheaded fury that was on his tail.
The devil spoken of sidled up to him. "Thirty seconds to go..."
"I know that," he replied. He started to grind his teeth; if anything broke off, the kiss would be very short.
She sighed. "If I wasn't taught to respect tradition, I wouldn't be doing this. Trust me."
The last two words caused Ash to start laughing.
"What's so funny? By the way, fifteen seconds."
"Trust YOU? Pull the other one!"
"Pretty please?"
Ash rolled his eyes. "Never."
"Come on, it's New Years!"
"Nope."
"Ten seconds," the temperess reminded him.
"Unlike you," Ash began, "My mother taught me that I should believe in what I feel to be true to myself. She gave me some basics to work with like reincarnation and the tooth fairy -"
"Santa Claus is real - maybe the tooth fairy is," the persuer suggested.
Ash nodded in acknowledgement. "But if following my own heart means breaking with tradition, I'm more than happy to separate from the mainstream. Oh, by the way, your ten seconds is up and passed by another five." He sighed and shook his head. "Sorry Jessie."
She grunted. "I'll never get a New Years kiss. I'll probably get it from a tall, handsome, caring guy when I get a vacation." She laughed. "And I'm never going to get a vacation!"
"Why don't you kiss James?" Ash suggested.
Jessie let out an unladylike snort. "Why don't you kiss Misty?"
Sitting down on a nearby sofa, they thought about the possibilities...and sighed.
Ash spoke up first. "If we closed our eyes and thought about -"
"Kissing you on the cheek was bad enough, twerp."
(Pika pi...Pikachu!)
On the other side of the room, two other people also blinded by love to see a relationship forming were sitting down on a park bench.
The girl spoke up. "Do I even remotely look like her when she was my age, James?"
"No," the young man replied.
"Phew. But why did you think of trying to -"
"Maybe because if I kissed you, it would be easier to deal with."
"How so?"
"She's my best friend. You're not. I wouldn't have lost as much if anything went wrong."
"Hmm." Misty understood perfectly what her park bench companion meant. Perhaps a little too perfectly.
(Pika pi...Pikachu!)
Pikachu's Moral: You can fear the unknown (not to mention the Unown), but know that the greater the risk taken, the greater the reward.
Note: This was originally going to go down the tedious predictable path until I finished the third paragraph. My muse then popped up and said, "Listen!" like Navi does in The Legend of Zelda. Nintendo's infectious.
by Hejira Hayes
Summary: Ash believes the phrase that makes up the title is an oxymoron. Why?
Disclaimer: I know the REAL Satoshi doesn't have Pokemon, but if there's one thing worse than a Pikachu with a mission, it's a lawyer with a fanfic in hand. I am making no profit from sharing this with other Pokemon fans, let alone the MST3Kers that lurk around these kinds of places.
Rating: G, AAML & JAJL
(Pika pi...Pikachu!)
Ash absolutely hated this day of the year. It was too awkward. It offered him something he wanted, but it seemed so...wrong. He always ended up drinking too much caffeine just to try and survive the night.
To make things worse, she would not leave his side this time. He tried going to the men's room and she waited outside. He tried dressing up as 'Ashley' again but she caught him. He said that he was going to catch a rare Pokemon, to which she replied that she always had aspirations of becoming a toaster when she grew up.
He almost wished that was true - toasters didn't have lips which you had to kiss on this particular day. So far, he had managed to evade the situation - even though he hated (and barely remembered) the day he decided that a Jynx was closer to him than the redheaded fury that was on his tail.
The devil spoken of sidled up to him. "Thirty seconds to go..."
"I know that," he replied. He started to grind his teeth; if anything broke off, the kiss would be very short.
She sighed. "If I wasn't taught to respect tradition, I wouldn't be doing this. Trust me."
The last two words caused Ash to start laughing.
"What's so funny? By the way, fifteen seconds."
"Trust YOU? Pull the other one!"
"Pretty please?"
Ash rolled his eyes. "Never."
"Come on, it's New Years!"
"Nope."
"Ten seconds," the temperess reminded him.
"Unlike you," Ash began, "My mother taught me that I should believe in what I feel to be true to myself. She gave me some basics to work with like reincarnation and the tooth fairy -"
"Santa Claus is real - maybe the tooth fairy is," the persuer suggested.
Ash nodded in acknowledgement. "But if following my own heart means breaking with tradition, I'm more than happy to separate from the mainstream. Oh, by the way, your ten seconds is up and passed by another five." He sighed and shook his head. "Sorry Jessie."
She grunted. "I'll never get a New Years kiss. I'll probably get it from a tall, handsome, caring guy when I get a vacation." She laughed. "And I'm never going to get a vacation!"
"Why don't you kiss James?" Ash suggested.
Jessie let out an unladylike snort. "Why don't you kiss Misty?"
Sitting down on a nearby sofa, they thought about the possibilities...and sighed.
Ash spoke up first. "If we closed our eyes and thought about -"
"Kissing you on the cheek was bad enough, twerp."
(Pika pi...Pikachu!)
On the other side of the room, two other people also blinded by love to see a relationship forming were sitting down on a park bench.
The girl spoke up. "Do I even remotely look like her when she was my age, James?"
"No," the young man replied.
"Phew. But why did you think of trying to -"
"Maybe because if I kissed you, it would be easier to deal with."
"How so?"
"She's my best friend. You're not. I wouldn't have lost as much if anything went wrong."
"Hmm." Misty understood perfectly what her park bench companion meant. Perhaps a little too perfectly.
(Pika pi...Pikachu!)
Pikachu's Moral: You can fear the unknown (not to mention the Unown), but know that the greater the risk taken, the greater the reward.
Note: This was originally going to go down the tedious predictable path until I finished the third paragraph. My muse then popped up and said, "Listen!" like Navi does in The Legend of Zelda. Nintendo's infectious.