Title: Delusional Dreams

Written for the Through the Trapdoor challenge prompt #2, the OPT boot camp prompt #3 (breathless or out of breath) and the Organization boot camp prompt #14 (fun).

Type of story: crackfic and humor. Slight sci-fi.

Rated K+


Three things occur to me all at once.

Once, I'm standing in a Quidditch pitch- not the one from Hogwarts, but the one we visited in fourth year to watch a game in the nosebleed section.

Two, I'm wearing a pretty dress. I can't stand dresses. They make it uncomfortable to sit in any position at all.

And three, Draco Malfoy is zipping around this place on a broom, constantly waving my way as he flies. And he's apparently the only other person here besides me.

This is seriously weird. He can't actually be flirting with me each time he zips by on that blasted broom, can he?

Eighth year is a bit of a roller coaster. I find myself constantly doing work, helping Harry and Ron, and balancing Head Girl duties. Malfoy isn't the Head Boy, thank Merlin, but he did get offered to play for some French team in Quidditch after graduation. He couldn't brag more about that than he already has.

But he would never, not in a million years, flirt with me. This situation can't be real.

Did I mention I'm wearing a dress? Yeah, there's something really wrong here. And I'm up high. I hate heights. I would never be up this high! Watching a Quidditch game from this height practically caused my death back in fourth year, and I'm not enjoying the view anymore this time around.

He comes up to me, and I'm gripping the bar in front of me for dear life. He cockily smiles, lightly placing his own hands on either side of mine. Now I'm beginning to think that he's going to fall.

"How's the weather up here Hermione?"

I almost fall to my death. Did he really just use my name? He continues to look at me with that cocky, arrogant expression plastered on his lips, and I can't help wondering how satisfying it would be to punch him right now. I almost get the feeling that he's trying to kill me.

"What are we doing here?" I ask instead, looking around the empty place. "It's just after lunch. We should be on our way to potions."

"Relax," he says, leaning away from me. His hands come off the bar and go back to his broom, holding it in a lose grip. "There's no reason to be so worrisome."

"What are we doing here?" I ask again, crossing my arms. A breeze blows by, and I squeak, instantly letting my hands fly back to the bar once more. "Why am I so high up?!"

He shrugs, moving away. "I don't know." With that he's off again, flying at top speed with his hands still loosely gripping the handle of his broom. He does a few loops through the air, all the while causing my nerves to jump around.

I think he's going to die if he keeps this up.

At one point he flies by and everything slows down, just so I can get a clear image of him flashing me a dazzling smile. It's like something straight out of slow-motion television. And it's so horribly cheesy. The Malfoy I know would never be caught dead doing that.

I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming now. This is way too bizarre to be real. And I'm only slightly terrified to see what will happen next.

Eventually he tires of his tricks and lands in the middle of the field. He looks like he's several thousand kilometers below me, and I get sick just looking down at him, and pull away from the edge, my head spinning. I'm going to lose my mind.

"Hey, Hermione! Why don't you come down here? It's more fun!"

All at once I feel the ground disappear beneath me. I scream immediately, tumbling down. Technically, I should just hit the level below, but now all the floors and levels and seats have mysteriously disappeared. I tumble down to earth.

And this is why dresses are so bloody useless. The wind is hitting way too high up on my legs. If I don't die on impact I'm fairly certain I will die from embarrassment. The small blond dot that is Malfoy grows closer and closer, my arms flailing about.

I'm going to die. I'm seriously going to die. And Malfoy's going to be here to watch.

This couldn't get any worse.

Somehow, I end up facing the sky. I don't quite know when in my tumble that I changed directions, but apparently I did. I'm stuck watching the sky get further and further away as I tumble, and I squeeze my eyes shut, waiting for impact.

My impact is actually quite soft. Maybe that's because I don't hit the ground. I can feel two strong arms wrapped around me, and curse the heavens. He did not just save me from that fall! The speed I was falling at would make that technically impossible.

A head appears in my vision, grey eyes glittering with humor. "Welcome to the ground."

I'm out of breath as he sets me down, but somehow I manage to stay upright. My dress is back in place, instead of blowing through the wind. That doesn't mean that I'm any happier that I'm down here though.

His hand is on my back. It's weird that it stays there until I catch my breath. When I do I look around, eyebrows drawing together. Every bleacher is gone, leaving us alone on a lonesome green field. Even the Quidditch hoops have mysteriously disappeared.

I glance back at Malfoy, granted a bit hesitantly. He throws me another one of those dazzling smiles, and that snaps me back into reality. Right, this Malfoy is completely cheesy.

"What happened to everything?" I ask, staring at him. He smiles, patting my arm.

"What everything? It's been like this the entire time."

"No it hasn't," I argue, stepping out of his reach. I know I'm not insane, but something isn't right here. "I was just up there!" I point towards the sky. "Did you not see me falling?"

"You did fall," he agrees, placing his hands into his pockets. "But you didn't fall far. "You were never very far from the ground."

My fear of heights… did it trick me into thinking I was higher than I really was? No, what am I saying?! I know how far I fell, and I know that it wasn't a short little fall either. What on earth is going on here?

I need to wake up. That's the bottom line. If this really is a dream, then I should be able to escape from this place.

I'm about to make a sassy retort to him when suddenly the opposite side of the field changes. There's two little kids running about, two kids that I've never seen before. One has straight brunette locks and the other a head of curly blond locks. Something is seriously wrong here.

They look like Malfoy and I. Now I know something isn't right at all. Maybe I'm just delirious.

"They love you," he says, smiling fondly at me. "We've been waiting for you."

"What?" I ask, looking his direction again. He steps forward and grabs my hand, but I jerk it away. "What are you talking about?"

He gestures to the two children. "Them. They miss you Hermione. You're children haven't seen you in a long time."

I open my mouth to speak, but something shakes me. I feel it, a hand on my shoulder. Suddenly I'm detached from the dream, feeling the visions slipping away. A few seconds later my eyes blink open, and I'm in a very different place.

I'm back at Hogwarts, sititng in the Great Hall. Ron's chowing down across from me, and Harry's removing his hand from my shoulder as I sit up.

So it was a dream. A really strange dream, but nonetheless a dream. I grab my goblet and peer inside. Today I had this herbal tea I usually never drink. I guess I won't be having that again.

"Good sleep?" Ron asks me, looking up as he swallows his food. I rub my eyes, everything still a little fuzzy. The hard lights of the Great Hall are difficult to wake up to.

"Yes," I agree, yawning. "How long was I out?"

"Since the beginning of lunch," Harry says, taking a drink. "We let you sleep since you've been so busy lately. We thought you needed it."

What I didn't need was that blasted dream. I nod, smiling at the two. I might be a bit weirded out from the dream, but I do feel a bit better physically. "Well, you were right. I feel awake now."

"Good," Ron replies, smiling at me. "We have potions next, and you couldn't risk falling asleep in there. The professor would have your head."

"I know," I reply, glancing at my books. "I guess that book is still upstairs actually. I better run and grab it."

"Do you want us to come with?" Harry asks, taking another bite of his food. I shake my head.

"No, that's fine. We have class soon anyway, so you two wouldn't have time to come back down and eat more. I'll meet you in class, okay?"

They nod, and I get out of there quickly. I need a walk to clear my head.

On the way out of the Great Hall I spot Malfoy sitting at the Slytherin table, eyeing me. He looks rather amuzed, and my eyebrows draw together.

Something clicks. Yesterday we learned about entering people's dreams…

My eyes widen, and I stop briefly to glare at him. I have a very bad feeling now that he entered my dreams and messed around with them.

I'm going to kill that idiot. That was one of the strangest experiences I've ever had!

I storm out of the Great Hall, already plotting my revenge. I won't take this just sitting down.

He had something to do with my dream, I'm sure of it. But why he made it so strange, I have no idea.

A smile graces my lips. Maybe he messed up and didn't get the result he wanted. Now that would make me laugh if he didn't accomplish what he was aiming for. I feel slightly better at the thought.

That doesn't mean that I'm going to let him get away with this though. Not even close.


A/n: I think this one has elements of a crackfic. It was certainly amusing to write but the characterization of Draco was indeed quite unbelievable. I hope you enjoyed this strange story anyway. And if you did, please let me know! I haven't attempted something like this before!

Remember, this story does not encompass what will be in this collection. It will be anything from romance to friendship to alternate worlds. Pretty much any type of Dramione story will be kept here. I hope you'll find something enjoyable here!