The Curtain before the final curtain

Love leaves one open to manipulation and deception but not taking a chance on love leaves one open to manipulation and deception .

Fitz had joined all the co-conspirators as Andrews demands were being discussed. Liv was there, coming up with suggestions and he wanted to thank her. When he tried, Olivia cut him off saying… " I came because Abby called."

Now, She had just left his office after explaining another possible problem and the solution. The what if's . As during the meeting to discuss Andrew her tone was formal and curt, her demeanor passive, her attitude dismissive. She was Olivia Carolyn Pope fixer, not his Livvie, the love of his life. The woman he had built a house for that he hoped they would share together. The woman he had gone to war for, the woman he had moved into the White House after his divorce. The woman he had called the love of his life . The woman that had just left was a woman he hoped he would never see.

Fitz leaned back in his chair as he downed the remaining scotch in his glass. "The fish rots from the head", those words from Olivia continue to run through his mind. His head was throbbing and his mind was racing as he remembered Olivia's cutting words. He felt totally at odds with himself. Olivia, Liv his Livvie, had left his office what she said , her words, continued long after she closed the door.

He was a happy man, he thought. He had just experienced mind blowing sex. The sex he had experienced from his "dating " partners filled his physical need but why was he feeling so empty emotionally . An emotional void that resurfaced after another visit from one person, Olivia Carolyn Pope.

Why did Olivia have to come now, spoil his illusion of happiness that he had grabbed to survive losing her. Why did she have to remind him of the hours he sat in his fathers outer office while he father had sex with numerous women. ? Why did she have to compare the women he was now seeing to those. The women he was now exposing his son Teddy to…. Why, ?

Olivia was part of his past, he tried, she tried, they tried, it was not to be. If she were part of what he left behind and not part of his future why did her presence destroy the absolute joy he had been feeling after he had started seeing other women. Didn't he tell Jake, he was happy, he was having fun?. Maybe part of that happiness was the fact that he did not get the girl but neither did Jake. The women were physically fulfilling but temporary.. One was becoming more than temporary and he could see her becoming a part of his future.

This is what his head is saying but his heart is saying, there is only one woman who could fulfill both his physical and emotional needs, the only woman for him, Olivia. She left, she moved on she was happy without him, why couldn't he feel the same.? What was it about Olivia Carolyn Pope that seemed to destroy all the barriers he had put up. Barriers that would allow him to move on ….move on and to be happy , without her.

He had done all he could to rid himself of Olivia. He refused her calls, he asked Jake , of all people, to step in when Olivia was the obvious choice to help. Abby became his sounding board, his 3am phone call. If she would never again be a part of his life, why was he feeling so darn sad and empty empty.

Fitz poured himself another drink, downed it , leaned back in his chair as a tear slowly made its way down his cheek.

It was then Fitz began to understand . The call to her l was from Abby it was his problem, her response was for him. She was there for him , again. She had always been there for him, always more about what was best for him that what was best for her. What had she gotten from his election to the Presidency, nothing absolutely nothing. Cyrus became COS, Mellie became FLOTUS, Verna got SCOTUS, Liv got being dismissed in a restaurant, called a mistress in church and manhandled in a closet. Kidnapped because of her relationship to me and being offered like a piece of meat to the highest bidder.

The women I am now "dating" want to use my position , Liv , never asked for anything for herself but my love. How could I have been so stupid? How could the most powerful person in the world not recognize the treasure of Olivia Carolyn Pope. She is the love of my life, but I sometimes forget I am the love of hers. I love her deeply but she loves me unconditionally. Is she did not love me she would not have been willing to forgive me for the many times I have hurt her. Somehow, I must find a way to convince her , yet again, how important she is to me, that I love her and desperately need her permanently in my life.

OPOV

My love for Fitz has not changed, not ebbed . His presence had as strong a pull as ever. I had to leave the Oval, I could not stay there remembering the happy memories without breaking down. I will not let Fitz see me cry. He can never know how much his new life is hurting me. He can never know how I lay in bed and imagine him caressing another woman, kissing another woman being satisfied by another woman.

Her pace quickened after she exited the Oval Office. She practically ran through the halls as she hurriedly left the White House not stopping to talk to old friends as she was moving fast hoping she could get to her car before the tears started.

She had left Fitz and the White House, she had reconnected with Jake, not because she loved him but to numb the pain of losing Fitz. When one says its just sex, well, it was just sex. Jake was safe he offered her temporary physical satisfaction without any emotional baggage. She still wanted Fitz but she knew he was no longer an option in her life or she an option in his. She could no longer have him,, he was lost to her.. Olivia knew Fitz would never forgive her for releasing her father and would never ever forgive her for the abortion. Aborting his baby, which was much worse than anything she had ever done. Worse because she had a choice, she made that choice. She did not have any control over the death of one child but was guilty of personally destroying another. Fitz was so sincere when he talked about filling their Vermont house with Grant babies. Would he understand why, would he even try, no, never, he would never understand and she knew it.

Now to dull the pain she further punished herself by allowing Jake back into her bed , whenever he wanted. What was causing her this self destruction? Was it memories of the kidnapping, was it the memories of Fitz moving her into the White House and making her ornamental or was it the years of emotional abuse by her father Was it remembering when she came to Fitz and told him she would wait, he rebuffed her, calling her a mistress.?. Was it when she realized everything she ever believed for much of her life was a lie? Her mother was not dead, her father's primary job was not at the Smithsonian , Jake's main job was not at the Pentagon nor was Tom's primary job guarding Fitz.

Of all the people in her life who she thought should be part of her buffer from the world Jake was the only one who had been there for her. He has wined, dined and courted her. He had saved her life ,… twice. He was willing to put his life on hold and go with her even after she told him she loved someone else ,….. that she did not love him. He wanted to stand in the sun with her. Jake was her Lancelot, her Romeo,… her savior. She was not a secret hidden in hotel rooms and quickies in electrical closets to him .. He was ordered to spy on her by Fitz….. and her…. father but still he was always there…. There for her. This was the bond that she accepted to justify his betrayal .Had Jakes betrayal been any mores that those who were supposed to love of her? More than Fitz who said so many times he loved her but his love seemed to come with its built in caveats . Jake was a disappointment but a disappointment among a lot of disappointments from the people in her life. .

Fitz had hurt her so many times. He ended their relationship in a restaurant, leaving her alone and not looking back. After finding out about Defiance he referred to her as his mistress and later degraded her by ripping off her panties and fucking her in an electrical closet. Moving her into the White House was about him not about her. Didn't he realize forcibly moving and holding her was akin to her being kidnapped.

Tears began to roll down Olivias face as she maneuvered through traffic. The tears were blinding and she pulled over,.. unable to go any further, unable to face what her life had become. As she sat in her car the skies opened up and as the raindrops pelted her windows in the car her tears increased. At one point her teardrops may have outnumbered the rain drops outside.

She was shocked out of her stupor by her phone which she ignored but the caller kept calling, it was Jake. She ignored the call as long as possible before answering, followed by a quick short conversation . As she pulled back into traffic she realized she needed something….something to numb the pain.

As she drove home she understood, Jake was not the answer. She did not know where her future was headed but she realized it was not with Jake or Fitz.

Jake was waiting for her …. in her bed . She stood in the middle of the bedroom as Jake got and came over to start taking her clothes off. Liv stopped him but allowed him to hold her . They held each other close and he could see , could feel, it was over. Olivia pulled out of Jake's embrace picked up his clothes , handed them to him and left the room. . …Jake dressed quickly and joined Liv in the living room where she sat nursing a glass of wine. They sat for a while making small talk until Jake finally walked over to the door to leave. As he stood with his hand on the doorknob he said " Olivia you don't have to be alone, you don't have to hide your hurt and unhappiness with work.…. I am still willing to stand in the sun with you" . He then walked over to Olivia placed a kiss on her head and walked out the door.

FPOV

I had read the medical report . Would she, how could she, why would she?. Then it came full circle it was for me, , she did it for me. While I was refusing to take her calls , while I was denying her my love she always stepped up. From Defiance, to Amanda Tanner to handling my former VP she always stepped up, now its my turn.

Olivia poured the last of the bottle into her glass and headed to the kitchen for another. Abby told her Fitz had read her medical file. She knows….. there is no going back, Jake is married Fitz is dating others, both have moved on with their lives. Her life now consist of popcorn and bottles of wine…. well really good bottles of red wine.

Olivia settled on her new couch and flipped through the tv trying to find a movie that would take her mind off everything and everybody. She stumbled upon Casablanca just as the opening credits were rolling. Partially asleep she heard a phone but in her drowsy state thought it was the tv. The phone stopped but began again as she sat up to see the closing credits rolling by. The ringing continued. She grabbed the phone and answered with a sleep filled "WHAT." . That rich baritone voice she readily recognized said "Hi.,... did I wake you?" . She answered... , " nope."

The voice then said," open your door."

Olivia took a quick peep and opened her door. There stood POTUS Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III, flanked by Secret Service , holding flowers, candy and wine. He smiled as he asked "which one can I use to convince you to let me in?".

Olivia took the wine and stepped aside to let him enter.

Fitz looked … around, commented on her new couch and saw the glass of wine. He picked up the glass emptied it muttering something about liquid courage. He refilled the glass from the bottle on her table and handed it to Olivia who had turned to go to the kitchen for another glass.

Fitz asked, … "cant we share?". She turned to give him a dismissive look and continued to the kitchen. She returned with another glass, refilled it and sat down in a chair across from Fitz. . He handed her the candy and went into the kitchen to find a vase Returning Fitz sat the flowers on the table and took a seat back on the couch..

Olivia sat , saying nothing, neither said anything as they emptied their glasses. Neither uttered a word the only sound was the Tv announcing the next show..

Fitz finally got up from the couch and walked over to Olivia, took her glass from her hand and led her back to the couch with him. He sat down and pulled her down in his lap pulling her close as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her arms around his waist... Neither said a word as he pulled her head into his chest.

Olivia felt her, and then his, heartbeat slow down as they began to breathe in sync. Fitz pulled her closer and closer putting his chin in her hair as he tightened his hold on her, neither said a word

After what seemed like eternity Fitz said, "I love you, will you marry me?"

LIv took a of couple deep breaths as her heart began to pound and her breathing became faster...almost hyperventilating.

As Olivia began breathing faster, Fitz continued to breathe at a slow even tempo.

Fitz said again, "Olivia Carolyn Pope, I love you , will you marry me?".

No sound from Olivia for what seemed like an eternity to Fitz until a tiny voice said softly said ." YES"

The two continued to sit and hold each other. No words no kisses, just allowing all the hurt and pain from the past to be destroyed one at a time with each breath. Allowing the pain each had caused the other to become the past..

They remained that way until the first rays of the morning sun hit the windows behind them. During all ths time neither said another word.

Almost in tandem they released each other. Fitz stood and took a ring case from his jacket pocket , dropped to his knee and placed a ring on Olivia's finger. He looked into her eyes showing her there was no doubt in his actions and then took her face between his hands and softly kissed her.

No words had passed between them since she said yes, none were needed or wanted. Words could only, would only make what was happening impossible. He looked at her indicating he had to go. No explanations, no I'm sorry, no words were necessary. They both knew what ever needed to be said, should have been said or wanted to say was said heart to heart over the long hours as they held each other.

Fitz took his hands and held her face as he kissed her again, deeper than before. The kiss deepened more and Olivia responded. Before long their tongues were battling each other, still not a word was spoken.

Olivia pulled back to let him know she knew he had to go. He pulled her back into his arms holding her close , finally releasing her and walking out the door.

Fitz never looked back, if he had he knew he would not be able to leave and he still had a job to do and it was not a 9 to 5 job. He hastened to the elevator smiling as he entered. That smile was still on his face when he entered the Oval an hour later. The woman he loved, his soulmate, the woman that meant everything to him, the love of his life had agreed to be his wife.

As Liv watched Fitz leave, soon the tears began to flow, she cried harder as she looked down at the ring on her finger. A million doubts began to run through her head, she was overthinking , again. Thinking about what had happened over the last hours . She snapped back to reality and knew what she had to do and she headed for her bedroom.

Liv packed a small suitcase and then headed for the shower. After a few calls she headed out of her apartment.

FPOV

After his morning meetings Fitz called Olivia but his calls went directly to voice mail.. He tried to call her again after a working lunch but the phone still went to voicemail and his heart began to sink. He had an emergency meeting and was not able to get back to the Oval until after 8pm, called Olivia again, voicemail again. He poured himself a drink and asked Abby to join him, she refused saying she still had work and suggested he retire for the night.

Slowly Fitz walked back to the residence. HIs steps were slow, his head was down his shoulders were slumped as he walked into the living room. He poured himself a drink and started towards his bedroom . As he opened the door he heard the faint sound of music coming from the Truman Balcony and headed that way. As he neared the door he saw rose petals on the floor and he recognized the sweet sound of Nina Simone..

His earlier smile returned as he watched Liv swaying to the music.. There was a cake sitting on the table with the words, YES. How could he have doubt her when she said yes, she would marry him. . He put his hands around her waist and all he could say was "HI".

She turned and saw the glass in his hand, Taking it she said " you will not need this tonight"...