Not Myself Tonight
A/N: Hey! How is everyone's summer so far? Awesome, I hope! Well, you guys…July 3rd is my one year anniversary of being on FanFiction! So, to celebrate, I wrote this! It can be a simple one shot…or I can advance it into a full on story! Either way, this is me saying thank you! Happy one year too me! Ahahaha and as a present, you guys can totally be awesome and write me a one shot! Or, just send me a message with some kind words! Ahahaha only if you really love me! But other than that yeah…here is to one kick ass year, and some more even better ones too come! Love you for sticking with me!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight!
Not Myself Tonight
I don't know how I let these guys convince me into doing this. What the hell was I thinking? I went with a pack of werewolves to Seattle to go clubbing. They made it sound like a harmless night of fun, and for the first hour or so, it was. But now, things were getting nasty between Jacob and some guy. Everyone else was having a good time. Leah and Sam were on the dance floor, Embry and Quil were practically eating each others faces in a corner while Jarred was hitting on some blond bartender; we left Seth at home since he was still under eighteen. But back to Jacob. He was obviously wasted, and some guy was trying to act tough and was now starting shit with Jacob. The last thing I wanted happening, was him phasing right now.
I began to quickly approach them and moved my way in-between them. I could feel Jacob's light trembling as he pressed against my back in an attempt to get at the guy.
"Alright guys, calm down." I spoke loudly so that they would both be able to hear me over the music.
"Yeah, you better get your boy before he gets his ass beat!" The guy said in a condescending tone. He turned around and was now talking to his little group of friends. I decided that it would be in his best interest if I just let it go.
I turned around to give Jacob a small, disapproving look. He was leaning back against the bar that wound around the whole club, calmly drinking a beer; which I didn't even know how he got, since he was under aged. I could tell by simply looking at him that he was completely wasted.
"Jacob, c'mon, I'm gonna get you back to the hotel room." I grabbed his arm and began leading him to the exit; but he was stumbling a lot, so I draped his arm over my shoulders and grabbed his waist. It was easier to pull him this way, and within a few short minutes, we were outside in the cold air of the night. I found a vacant taxi and we got inside. Once we began moving, he finally spoke.
"I don't understand it Paul." He spoke surprisingly clear. "Why would she just go back to him after he practically left her to die?"
"Who are you talking about Jake?" I asked; I had my suspicions, but I just wanted to know for sure.
"Bella!" He practically shouted, causing the driver to give us a weird look from the review mirror. "I could be everything that she needs. And for me, she wouldn't have to change a thing. I love her the way she is…but for that fucking leech, she would have to change everything…and she is willing to."
I watched as he slowly broke down in the seat next to me. It really was sad to see one of my pack mates in this kind of state. I couldn't do anything to help him, because I nothing that I could say would be good enough
"Jake, calm down kid. Think of this as a blessing." I placed a comforting hand on his trembling shoulder, "Ignorance is bliss sometimes. Maybe you're better off not knowing why she is choosing him."
To completely honest, I didn't really understand the whole situation myself. You see; Edward Cullen left Isabella Swan awhile ago, and she went into this crazy freak-out mode and Sam found her lying in the forest. Jacob was there to pick up the pieces and help her relax again. But the second that a Cullen shows up, she goes running back to them, leaving Jacob broken-hearted. He was in love with her, but she wasn't his imprint; so in time, he would find his special someone that would love him in return. That Swan girl was just a phase that he needed to get through. All I could do was comfort him and hope that the phase would end soon.
As I rubbed comforting circles on his back, the taxi driver pulled up in front of the hotel entrance. I paid him then quickly got out, with Jake behind me. It didn't take long before I had to revert back to our old position so we would move faster. We had finally gotten to the elevators of the hotel and were now patiently waiting for one of the four sets of doors to open.
"Thank you." He said, breaking our silence once again.
"For what?" I asked, since I really had no clue why he was thanking me.
"For getting me out of the club. That guy was really pissing me off."
"It was no problem really. I just saw a brother in trouble, and so I helped." I shrugged as a pair of doors slid open, revealing an empty elevator.
I had let go of Jake, and we both made our way into the elevator. Once inside, he pressed his back against the back wall of the elevator, and once I had pushed the button with "17" on it, I went and did the same. Another silence filled the space between us, but I didn't mind. I figured that he probably wouldn't want to talk about what was going on in his mind, so I welcomed the silence. And then the elevator came to an abrupt stop, startling us both. I looked at the digital display above the button panel, and it said that we were only on the eighth floor. The doors weren't opening though, so I was only left to assume that the elevator was stuck.
"Shit, are you fucking kidding me?" Jake kicked the doors in a frustrating manner.
I saw a button that said, "Emergency," and pushed it. After a few seconds of nothing happening, a voice spoke from the intercom telling us that they had called maintenance and that it could take up to an hour for them to get the elevator working again.
"Shit." I mumbled as I slid down the wall, and sat on the floor. Jake did the same in his old spot on the back wall. That was all that was said for a little while, and I had leaned my head back against the wall and kept my eyes closed.
Even though I couldn't see him, I felt Jacob watching me. I didn't know why he was doing it, but I felt his eyes on me. And when I opened my eyes to look at him, he would quickly look down at the floor. I didn't really understand it.
"Are you happy with Rachel?" He asked, totally out of left field.
Rachel Black was my imprint as well as his sister, and we had been together for about two years now. She was back at home, since she doesn't really go out much due to the fact that she takes care of their dad. Things were still good between us, but recently, she had been really cold towards me. I had tried asking her what I had done wrong, and she wouldn't tell me anything.
"Well, are you happy with her?" He asked again, still sounding mildly drunk, and I hadn't noticed until now that he had moved closer to me.
"Well…we've been better. I can't say that I'm happy at this time, but I have been happy with Rachel." My eye brows furrowed together as I heard my own words. It was unusual that I was actually able to say that I wasn't happy with my own imprint. Once one imprinted, you were happy just to be around them, so how is it possible that I'm not happy?
"Something wrong?" He asked, while he scooted closer to me, and now there was only a small gap in-between us.
"Uh, no." I mumbled in a low husky whisper. I was starting to feel nervous around him, which was another thing that I didn't understand at the moment.
"Oh, cuz you just looked really…confused." He shrugged, licking his sexy full lips as he looked away from me again.
I simply wrote off my sudden attraction to his lips and closed my eyes again.
I should probably talk to the council about my imprint, and how I am unhappy with Rachel. I wonder if…I'm losing my feelings for my imprint. No way. That's not even possible…is it? This is why I have to talk to the council, to get the answers that I need.
Then I felt his warm breath on my ear, which sent slight shivers of pleasure and surprise throughout my body.
"I have a secret." He whispered into my ear, in a slightly seductive tone. "Do you wanna know what it is?"
I slowly nodded, but didn't dare open my mouth because if I did, I don't know what sound would come out.
"Nobody thinks that I've imprinted," He whispered into my ear again, "but I have."
I turned to look at his face, and my eyes saw a drunken Jacob with a playful smirk on his face. How could I not have known? I'm his pack brother, but then again, Jacob's mind always seemed to be blank whenever we were in our wolf forms; which meant that he had been hiding it for awhile.
"Do you want to know who?" He asked playfully, with the same smirk on his face.
"Yes." I managed to say as I pressed my back against the wall again.
Then he did something that I wasn't expecting at all. He was straddling my thighs, and he had his hands on my pecs. I didn't know what to do, I was stunned. But more importantly, I was hard; and so my clothed erection was pressing against Jacob's ass, and I knew he could feel it.
"I imprinted on you." Was all he said before lightly pressed his lips against mine, and held them there for a few seconds before beginning to move his gently against mine. He ran his tongue along my bottom lip and began nibbling on it softly, causing a small husky moan to escape my lips. He pulled away from my mouth, but his smirk was gone. It had been replaced with a look of sad realization.
"It just…sucks. It sucks to have to see you with her every day." He spoke in a sad whisper.
"I'm sorry…I had no idea." I said, trying to comfort him in anyway I could; while at the same time, ignoring the longing feeling that I had for his lips to be against mine again.
"I just wish…I just wish that I had even the slightest chance." He gave a sad smirk, and his breath still slightly smelled like booze, but his body's scent was driving me wild. It was really apple and cinnamon-y.
"I know that it must be painful for you." I spoke sympathetically as I stroked his cheek with one of my hands.
"Please Paul, just give me a chance. I can make you feel better than Rachel ever could." He said in a low seductive whisper, but at the same time it sounded sad.
"Jake…I don't know-" He cut me off mid sentence with another kiss. This time it was more heavy and passionate, and to my surprise, I was kissing him back with almost as much force as he was giving me. This time, I was the one nipping and sucking on his bottom lip, asking…well more like begging, for entrance. He happily obliged with a moan, and I wasted no time before my tongue was invading and exploring his mouth. Each time his tongue would brush against mine, I would moan as rush upon rush of pleasure coursed throughout my body. He began rocking his hips, causing his ass to rub against my raging hard cock. I wanted more. I want to feel myself surrounded by his tight body. I wanted him underneath me, moaning my name from the sheer pleasure that I could give him.
Then the elevator seemed to come back to life with a start, and began moving to the seventeenth floor again. The kissing seemed to slow down, and soon, he pulled away completely, giving me a small sad smile as he stood up. I didn't understand it, like most things that were happening tonight, but I stood as well. I was still hard as fuck, and the jeans that I was wearing had become a bit too tight for my comfort.
The doors finally opened on our floor and we left the elevator to walk down a hallway to our rooms. Jacob was sharing a room with two beds with Jarred, while Leah and Sam shared a one bed room, and so did Quil and Embry. I had my own room. As we reached Jake's room, he pulled his key card out of his back pocket and stood in front of the door.
"Well," He sighed as he fumbled with the card in his hands, "it was nice while it lasted. But I guess now I just have to accept the reality of the situation. You want Rachel, not me. And don't worry, Ill keep our little adventure to myself." He bit his bottom lip as he turned to face the door, and not me.
Why was he saying those things? I thought that we were going to continue things.
I let out a low growl as I grabbed his arm and pulled him a couple doors down to my door, which I hastily unlocked with my card-key.
"Paul, what're you doing?" He asked as I pulled him into the room and shut the self locking door behind me.
I didn't answer his question. Instead I pushed him up against a wall and connected our lips again, trying to revive that same heat and passion that we had in the elevator; which turned out to be a surprisingly easy task. Soon, our tongues were dancing together with the same heat and fervor. I began to unbutton his button-up shirt, and soon I had moved it down his arms and it landed on the floor. I had to break the kiss for a quick second to pull off my shirt, and then our lips collided again. I had my hands on the while on both sides of his head, while his were running up and down my torso. I eventually had to break away for a much needed breath, I moved my kisses down to his neck and began sucking and nibbling on the skin where his neck and shoulder meet. His hands began working with the buttons on my jeans as he let out a loud moan, and not long after that, my pants dropped. I stepped out of them, and kicked them back, away from us. I was left in my boxers, which had a tent from my rock hard boner, and even a small wet circle from the pre-cum. As I continued to suck on Jake's neck, trying to leave a mark to let everyone know that he was somebody's and they couldn't have him, I ran my tongue over the place I had been working on, and Jake let out another loud moan. I pulled back to look at my finished product and saw a large red mark on his perfectly tanned skin, and before I knew it, I was being pushed back against the wall, and Jake was on his knees in front of me.
He kissed the exposed skin that was just above my boxers' waist line, and I let out a low growl like moan to show my approval. He began to slowly pull down my boxers, all the while he was kissing each piece of newly exposed skin until my boxers were past my thighs, then he just let them drop. I stepped out of them and he picked them up and threw them in a random direction.
Then, finally, he gripped my cock with one of his hands and slowly stroked it. He slowly licked the pre-cum that was seeping from my tip and let out a small, "Mmm", noise. He placed light kisses from the base to the tip, and I was going crazy. As if reading my lust filled thoughts, he finally took me in his mouth. He didn't take me all the way for the first couple of times, instead he focused on the head of my cock, twisting his tuck and lapping up any pre cum that had oozed out of the slit. Eventually, he took my whole nine inch length in making a humming noise, which sent pleasure straight to my groin, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to last much longer if he kept this tantalizing mixture of techniques up. My breaths were coming in sharp, and my eyes were cast downward, watching him work his magic on my cock. And in too short of a time, I felt that familiar coil in my stomach, just waiting to burst and push me into release.
"Ah, fuck Jake." I moaned as I buried a hand in his hair, lightly tugging on it. "Ah shit, that feels fucking good." Soon, I could feel the small ounce of restraint that I had slipping away, and I was gonna cum. "Aw, shit, Jake, I'm g-gonna, aw fuck!" I couldn't even finish my sentence before I was shooting my load off white hot seed into his mouth.
He pulled away from my cock and swallowed everything that was in his mouth, and that made me even hornier than before. I pulled him up and brought him to the bed, pushing him back on it, and began to undo his pants and quickly pull them, and his briefs, down. I marveled at the sight of his naked body, there for my taking. His raging hard on was just begging to be pleased, but this was my first time with a guy, so I really wasn't sure how I knew what I should do…but I felt like it would be right in my heart and soul.
I pulled him closer to the edge and kneeled down beside the bed and told him to spread his legs. He did as I asked and that's when my body took over. My tongue stuck out and licked around his puckered hole, and Jake moaned loudly. I continued to lick his entrance in preparation as one of my hands grabbed his cock and began pumping him fiercely. He moans became more erratic after a minute or two of my continuous licking and pumping and soon, I felt him release as his muscles tightened and he shot his load over his stomach and my hand.
He was ready. So I stood up and got on top of him on the bed, and used whatever he had left on my hand to lube my, once again, hard cock and placed my head at his entrance.
"Are you ready?" I asked as I kissed his neck.
"Y-yes." He stuttered through his heavy panting.
I slowly began pushing in as I captured his lips once more, letting out a low growl of sheer pleasure. Once I was fully inside him, I came to a stand still, allowing him to adjust to my size. We were still kissing when I started my slow thrusts. Jake moaned into the kiss as minutes passed, and soon he was begging for more.
"Oh Paul…faster." He had moaned.
"What do you want?" I asked, in a teasing manner, getting my revenge for how he had teased me with his tongue earlier.
"Paul…p-please go faster?" He had begged, and I smiled as my thrusts became faster, but I was careful not to be too rough until he asked for it.
"Oooh, Paul…please go faster." He begged, and once again, I happily obliged as I pulled almost all the way out and slamming back into him, earning a loud moan of approval. Things kept up like this for God knows how long. We both had sweat beads on our body as we continued to move, kiss, thrust, and stroke. I had managed to get Jacob to cum at least two more times since the first time, and I was determined to make it three times before I came. I was pumping him furiously as I thrust, hard and fast, into his awaiting heat. We had switched positions, and Jacob was now on all fours, while I was behind him on my knees.
"Oh, fuck. Do you like that Jake?" I asked, as I thrust into him.
"Ah, fuck yes. Mm, it's so good." He moaned, pulling me closer and closer to the edge with each word. I could feel him tensing up though, and I knew that it wouldn't be long before…or right now. I had gotten him to cum three times, and right now he just shot his load into my hand again and all over the sheets. I don't know how he could still be shooting that much after three times, but now it was finally my time to let myself reach ecstasy. I only lasted for a few more thrusts before I released inside of him.
I, kind of unwillingly, pulled out of him and collapsed onto the bed, next to him. Jake had moved so that his head was on my chest, and he kissed it softly.
"Thank you." He whispered.
"For what?" I asked again, seeming to get a case of déjà vu.
"For giving me a chance…I hope that you see how good I could be for you." He spoke in the same low whisper.
"I do. And its weird…before this…I always thought that I would be with Rachel forever. But now…it's like I never knew myself. Shit, I'm not myself tonight. I don't know what it is, but there is definitely something here." I noted the chemistry that we had, "But I don't know if I can go against my imprint Jake…so I don't know."
He let out an, obviously, unhappy sigh, "Well then just for tonight…don't be yourself. Be this guy right here…and be with me tonight." He said in an almost pleading, and begging voice.
I wrapped my arms around him too hold him closer to my body, "Okay."
I really wasn't acting like myself…at all. But I didn't mind. He was right; he had made me feel better than Rachel had. I loved it. But now I am left too wonder…is this something I could pursue?
I'm out of character
I'm in rare form
and If you really knew me
you'd know its not the norm
Cause I'm doing things that I normally won't do
the old me's gone I feel brand new
and if you don't like it fuck you
The music's on and I'm dancing
I'm normally in the corner just standing
I'm feeling unusual
I don't care cause this is my night
I'm not myself tonight
tonight I'm not the same girl same girl
I'm not myself tonight
tonight I'm not the same girl same girl
I'm dancing a lot and I'm taking shots I'm feeling fine
I'm kissing all the boys and the girls
someone call the doctor cause I lost my mind
Cause I'm doing things that I normally won't do
the old me's gone I feel brand new
and if you don't like it fuck you
The music's on and I'm dancing
I'm normally in the corner just standing
I'm feeling unusual
I don't care cause this is my night
I'm not myself tonight
-Christina Aguilera
A/N: How was it? Was it good? I kinda want to make it a full story…I don't know. What do you guys think? Is it continue worthy?
But yes! Happy Anniversary GoinnGaGa! Ahahaha don't forget to review and tell me what you think! I used the Christina Aguilera song for the title of this story! Thank you all so much! Love ya for reading!
oxox
GoinnGaGa