Chapter 1

Caterpillars, Werewolves and Vampires

"What to do today Emmett?" I pondered to myself as I walked around the house. Alice and Jasper were nowhere to be found. Edward was, of course, at Bella's, Rosalie was doing her hair and Carlisle and Esme were in the living doing who knows what. "I know!" I thought to myself, "I'll have an eating contest with Edward!" so I sprinted off to Bella's house.

"EDWARD!" I screamed at Bella's window. He poked his head out, and, for some strange reason, he looked like he really didn't want to see me.

"What do you want Emmett? You've already tried to get me to go get a tan, shoplift, go bungee jumping, and turn Bella into a dog with your magic kit with you today, and I said no to all those things so what could you possibly still want to do with me that you think I'll say yes to???" as he said all this he kept getting louder and louder and he seemed mad for some weird reason. Jeez, you'd think I'd asked him to commit suicide, the way he talked about my plans! (Which I haven't. Yet.) "If it's something stupid, I WILL have to hurt you."

"Its not stupid at all! I want to have a contest!" Edward looked like he was about to say yes when he got this weird look on his face.

"You idiot! WE DON'T EAT!" Oh yeah. Well there goes my plan. He could've at least let me actually say it. Stupid mind reading werewolf brother.

"I heard that and how many times do I have to tell you, I'm not a werewolf! Where do you get these things anyway?!?" not a werewolf? How can this be? He had all the symptoms of werewolfyness and yet he's not a werewolf? Yeah right!

"Yes you are! You're from Canada, you turn colors when you're mad (and your mad a whole lot,), and all the girls, well mostly Bella, say you're hot! That, mister, makes you a werewolf." I smiled. I win! I thought to myself proudly. I had proved Edward's a werewolf. While I was thinking this, Edward apparently was listening in again. He looked like he really wanted to kill me. What a sore loser.

"I'm not a sore loser because YOU DIDN'T WIN. Werewolves have none of those symptoms at all except maybe the hot part but even then it means actual HEAT! Something I have none of. Besides, I'm not from Canada and Werewolves don't turn colors when they're mad, they start to shake WHICH I DON'T DO!" hmm. Maybe he isn't a werewolf. "Thank you! Oh yeah, and I still have to hurt you for your stupid idea." Edward turned to Bella who was now at the window as well and asked if it was all right if he went to beat me up. What??? He asks Bella's opinion but not MINE??? Oh well, I didn't have time to think about it now. I had to run.

I'm very used to running away from Edward now. I do it on a daily basis now! Occasionally I have to run from Rose or Alice or Jasper but not as often as I run from Edward. So, anyways I started running and before I knew it I was in La Push at that vampire's, Jacob's, house. I crashed through the window and some old guy in a wheel chair was there, looking at me all funny. Then that Jacob kid came in and started yelling at me about how we crossed the line and broken the treaty and stuff. It was really boring so I kind of tuned him out after a while. He was starting to really get on my nerves when I said, "You know, why do we even have this treaty? I mean we're both vampires and I live with a werewolf and we get along okay. Well actually right now I'm running for my life from him, but that's not important right now." Jacob the vampire was looking at me strange now before he started yelling again. "I'm not a vampire you idiot! I'm a werewolf! And as far as I know you don't live with a werewolf!" this annoyed me more then anything else so far. I was being called a liar!

"I do too live with a werewolf his name's Edward and I know he's a werewolf because he's from Canada (which is awesome), he turns colors when he's mad, and girls think he's hot! I also know you're a vampire because girls think you're cool, (even though you can't get one), you're afraid of caterpillars, and you don't sleep." Ha. I win again. Unfortunately, Jacob chose now to start yelling again. "Edward is a leech like you! Those aren't symptoms of being a werewolf like me at all!" strange, that's what Edward said. "And, I am cool, but I'm not afraid of caterpillars (who would be?), and I can sleep! I'm a werewolf and don't forget it or call me a leech ever again. You hear me?" I zoned out again while he was talking, but I realized Edward the supposed vampire was getting closer. Without saying goodbye to the old man or Jacob, I started to run again.

I got really far this time. I realized I was in Canada now! Awesome! Unfortunately, I was in the caterpillar province. They were everywhere! I curled up in the fetal position and started crying. Fortunately, Alice and Jasper found me. I was about to ask them to take me home and protect me from Edward's wrath but they started laughing before I could talk. They didn't stop and I was too afraid of the caterpillars surrounding me to get up. So I waited. And waited. But they never stopped laughing. How rude, I thought.

Eventually, Edward found me there and beat me with some trees (containing caterpillars) that were all over Canada. Gosh, why must Canada have such pain and caterpillar filled trees? He got bored finally and left to go back to Bella's probably. Alice and Jasper were still laughing when I got the courage up to run from the evil caterpillars. Did you know that caterpillars aren't as innocent as they seem? I swear they will over throw the world one day so they can rule. Be prepared because I'm not going to be around on that day since Esme's making me go find Alice and Jasper. They're still laughing somewhere in Canada. Curse them.

Disclaimer: Wish I owned it, but I don't. Darn.

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Anyway, I don't know if I really like this chapter. I really just did it because I was bored. If I get a lot of reviews though I'll consider putting up another chapter. Or more… you never know.

-Cullens4everandever