I don't own squaresoft or any of these characters blah blah don't sue me or my dog.
This is chapter 1 of FFBB and I have HUGE plans for this one, so stay tuned!!
Scene: A moogle sitting on a chair.
Moogle: Hello and welcome to The NEW Final Fantasy BIG BROTHER!! O by the way my name is Mog.
Mog: Thank You, Ah were was I?........... Oh yes! In this show we will have several different characters all locked in well were else? Balamb Garden! The contestants will be the following people: Squall, Zell, Siefer, Zidane, Garnet (Dagger), Cid (FF7), Cloud, Tifa, Lulu, Tidus, Selphie, and Kuja.
(In the background)
You're supposed to say: THE GREAT AND ALMIGHTY KUJA WHO WILL BE THE RULER OF THE WHOLE WORLD!! I bribed you to let me in at least give me some respect! ooops................
Mog: Cough cough That was just a bit of static. Well let us go to the scene were and see what they are doing..... money is good yes..... my precious....... Wa.. What? We are still on? CHANGE IT ALREADY!!
(Screen Changes)
(Zell and Squall are sitting in the van being led to Balamb Garden)
Zell: Tch I can't believe I'm doing this. Sheesh I knew I shouldn't have believed that shifty-eyed moogle.
Squall: Heh. You think it's bad. I hope I don't have to bunk with you. Cause' all you're gonna do is talk talk talk.
Zell: I do not talk a lot or complain. It's just that the moogle said it was for a boxing tournament! So stupid little me had to sign the little contract. I knew something was wrong when he started to laugh like a little hyena. He told me I had 3 hours to pack! 3 HOURS!! I had to say goodbye to everyone at home. I had to get a note from the mayor. I don't know why either but here it is.
(Zell hands Squall a pink piece of paper. Squall examines it and starts to grin.)
Squall: Who did you work for before you left?
Zell: A mailman for the mayor. Why?
Squall: This is you're pink slip. You were fired.
Zell: WHAT!!?!?!??!??!!??! FIRED??? NO WAY!!! I was wondering why he looked a little happy when I was leaving.
(New scene: Cid and Barret are in another of those vans headed for Balamb.)
Cid: Humph, couldn't they get us a limo or something I mean, I can barely move!!
Barret: I know.. I know!! I shouldn'tave had that extra bit of that banana cream pie.. But I would appreciate if you wouldn't hit the trigger on my gun anymore, we already shattered all the windows.
Cid: I thought it was a coffee machine okay!!! So what if I pushed the button YOU should still pay the bills for it to be repaired!!
Barret:!!!! What!! How dare you you son of a #%&#$!!
Cid: ahh @#$% you you #@%@ son of a $%^&!!
(They start fighting and Cid accidentally hits Barrets gun again, shooting the driver, but not killing him because in this world if you get shot by a gun it won't kill you unless you are very weak which the driver wasn't so he survived the bullet that hit him in the head. All it did was knock him out for a few brief moments and then he woke back up and started to head back to Balamb Garden.)
(Scene: Zidane and Garnet in the another van)
Zidane: I like candy.
Garnet: So do I.
(And thats all they said throughout the whole trip there.)
(Scene: Kuja and Siefer in you guessed it, one of those vans.)
Kuja: O WEEE I can't WAIT to go their!! I have all my clothes ready. Ahh yes let me go through my checklist: Spare purple thongs.. check, Spare purple bras.. check, red dress.. check, blue dre...
Seifer: PLEASE STOP!!!! I'M BEGGING YOU PLEASE STOP!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF ANYONE WHO LIKES FINAL FANTASY STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kuja: a hem... blue dress.. check, and Mr. Thingy.. check. Okay that's everything.
Seifer: Mr...... Th..in..gy?
Kuja: Yep!
Seifer: I don't know if I should ask, but what in Sorceresses Adel's name is that?
(Kuja pulls out a plastic cylinder about 1 1/2 inches in diameter and is about a foot long. And has a little pump at the end. Kind of like the thing Austin From Austin Powers has! Except it's well purple..)
Kuja: See?
Seifer: uhh, what exactly is it?
Kuja: Want to see how it works then? Okay.
(Kuja starts to unclip his thong)
Seifer: NO STOP!!!
(Takes out his gunblade and smacks him broadside with it. Kuja falls over and Seifer lets out a sigh of relief.)
(Scene: Cloud sitting in one of those vans by himself.)
Cloud: I wish I had someone to talk to. O!! I'm all alone... there's no one here besiiiiides meeee!!!! But you gotta have frie-
Shrek(driver): STOP SINGING YOU ANNOYING DONKEY!! O sorry, you aren't a donkey.. but please stop singing for the love of mike!!
Cloud: Sorry...... I LIKE PIE!!!
Shrek: Are we there yet?
(Scene: Tifa and Lulu yep you know)
Tifa: How old are you?
Lulu: Why?
Tifa: Just curious.
Lulu: I'm not really sure. No one ever celebrates my birthday so I don't know.
Tifa: Well I'm 18 I think..
Lulu: ..........I was 18 once.....
Tifa: Why do you carry all those dolls around? I got over dolls.... hey I never did get over dolls!!
Lulu: Want to pet one? Here take this moogle one! (Throws the little white fuzz thing through the air it hits Tifa in the... A hem excuse me... breast)
Tifa: It got stuck!
(Scene: Tidus and Selphie you know the deal)
Tidus: What do you like?
Selphie: TRAINS!!!! I LOVE trains!! want to here my song? Here it is: O TraINS TAKE us FAR inTO thE fuTur-
Tidus: Please stop. I would love to hear it another time though. {Sheesh this girl is crazy!! Why do I always get stuck with the weirdoes... I wonder what Tifa is doing right now..}
(Scene: Tifa is holding herself against the chair, while Lulu is yanking as hard as she can on the doll to get it unstuck. But to no avail. Boys outside are staring with their mouths wide open with drool coming out. And the mothers come and try to cover their eyes.)
(Back to Tidus)
Selphie: Who is Tifa?
Tidus: A women I met at the Golden Saucer a while back.
Selphie: Hmmm.... you're one of those types eh? {Ooooooo I like his spikey hair and his clothes are just so.....ooooooooooooooooo...ah yes he is perfect for me....}
(Selphie starts to get closer to Tidus, then Tidus notices)
Tidus: uhh, what are you doing?
Selphie: O! I'm a little cold, could you like warm me up?
Tidus: uhh.... how about not... I will not get involved with anything you want to do with me... SO STAY AWAY!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
(Tidus tries to escape but all the doors are loked and the windows rolled up.)
End of chapter one... If you have anything to say to me e-mail me at Kaze356@ffextreme.com or if you want someone in this fic as a guest star or anything, JUST DON'T SUE ME OR MY DOG!!
This is chapter 1 of FFBB and I have HUGE plans for this one, so stay tuned!!
Scene: A moogle sitting on a chair.
Moogle: Hello and welcome to The NEW Final Fantasy BIG BROTHER!! O by the way my name is Mog.
Mog: Thank You, Ah were was I?........... Oh yes! In this show we will have several different characters all locked in well were else? Balamb Garden! The contestants will be the following people: Squall, Zell, Siefer, Zidane, Garnet (Dagger), Cid (FF7), Cloud, Tifa, Lulu, Tidus, Selphie, and Kuja.
(In the background)
You're supposed to say: THE GREAT AND ALMIGHTY KUJA WHO WILL BE THE RULER OF THE WHOLE WORLD!! I bribed you to let me in at least give me some respect! ooops................
Mog: Cough cough That was just a bit of static. Well let us go to the scene were and see what they are doing..... money is good yes..... my precious....... Wa.. What? We are still on? CHANGE IT ALREADY!!
(Screen Changes)
(Zell and Squall are sitting in the van being led to Balamb Garden)
Zell: Tch I can't believe I'm doing this. Sheesh I knew I shouldn't have believed that shifty-eyed moogle.
Squall: Heh. You think it's bad. I hope I don't have to bunk with you. Cause' all you're gonna do is talk talk talk.
Zell: I do not talk a lot or complain. It's just that the moogle said it was for a boxing tournament! So stupid little me had to sign the little contract. I knew something was wrong when he started to laugh like a little hyena. He told me I had 3 hours to pack! 3 HOURS!! I had to say goodbye to everyone at home. I had to get a note from the mayor. I don't know why either but here it is.
(Zell hands Squall a pink piece of paper. Squall examines it and starts to grin.)
Squall: Who did you work for before you left?
Zell: A mailman for the mayor. Why?
Squall: This is you're pink slip. You were fired.
Zell: WHAT!!?!?!??!??!!??! FIRED??? NO WAY!!! I was wondering why he looked a little happy when I was leaving.
(New scene: Cid and Barret are in another of those vans headed for Balamb.)
Cid: Humph, couldn't they get us a limo or something I mean, I can barely move!!
Barret: I know.. I know!! I shouldn'tave had that extra bit of that banana cream pie.. But I would appreciate if you wouldn't hit the trigger on my gun anymore, we already shattered all the windows.
Cid: I thought it was a coffee machine okay!!! So what if I pushed the button YOU should still pay the bills for it to be repaired!!
Barret:!!!! What!! How dare you you son of a #%&#$!!
Cid: ahh @#$% you you #@%@ son of a $%^&!!
(They start fighting and Cid accidentally hits Barrets gun again, shooting the driver, but not killing him because in this world if you get shot by a gun it won't kill you unless you are very weak which the driver wasn't so he survived the bullet that hit him in the head. All it did was knock him out for a few brief moments and then he woke back up and started to head back to Balamb Garden.)
(Scene: Zidane and Garnet in the another van)
Zidane: I like candy.
Garnet: So do I.
(And thats all they said throughout the whole trip there.)
(Scene: Kuja and Siefer in you guessed it, one of those vans.)
Kuja: O WEEE I can't WAIT to go their!! I have all my clothes ready. Ahh yes let me go through my checklist: Spare purple thongs.. check, Spare purple bras.. check, red dress.. check, blue dre...
Seifer: PLEASE STOP!!!! I'M BEGGING YOU PLEASE STOP!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF ANYONE WHO LIKES FINAL FANTASY STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kuja: a hem... blue dress.. check, and Mr. Thingy.. check. Okay that's everything.
Seifer: Mr...... Th..in..gy?
Kuja: Yep!
Seifer: I don't know if I should ask, but what in Sorceresses Adel's name is that?
(Kuja pulls out a plastic cylinder about 1 1/2 inches in diameter and is about a foot long. And has a little pump at the end. Kind of like the thing Austin From Austin Powers has! Except it's well purple..)
Kuja: See?
Seifer: uhh, what exactly is it?
Kuja: Want to see how it works then? Okay.
(Kuja starts to unclip his thong)
Seifer: NO STOP!!!
(Takes out his gunblade and smacks him broadside with it. Kuja falls over and Seifer lets out a sigh of relief.)
(Scene: Cloud sitting in one of those vans by himself.)
Cloud: I wish I had someone to talk to. O!! I'm all alone... there's no one here besiiiiides meeee!!!! But you gotta have frie-
Shrek(driver): STOP SINGING YOU ANNOYING DONKEY!! O sorry, you aren't a donkey.. but please stop singing for the love of mike!!
Cloud: Sorry...... I LIKE PIE!!!
Shrek: Are we there yet?
(Scene: Tifa and Lulu yep you know)
Tifa: How old are you?
Lulu: Why?
Tifa: Just curious.
Lulu: I'm not really sure. No one ever celebrates my birthday so I don't know.
Tifa: Well I'm 18 I think..
Lulu: ..........I was 18 once.....
Tifa: Why do you carry all those dolls around? I got over dolls.... hey I never did get over dolls!!
Lulu: Want to pet one? Here take this moogle one! (Throws the little white fuzz thing through the air it hits Tifa in the... A hem excuse me... breast)
Tifa: It got stuck!
(Scene: Tidus and Selphie you know the deal)
Tidus: What do you like?
Selphie: TRAINS!!!! I LOVE trains!! want to here my song? Here it is: O TraINS TAKE us FAR inTO thE fuTur-
Tidus: Please stop. I would love to hear it another time though. {Sheesh this girl is crazy!! Why do I always get stuck with the weirdoes... I wonder what Tifa is doing right now..}
(Scene: Tifa is holding herself against the chair, while Lulu is yanking as hard as she can on the doll to get it unstuck. But to no avail. Boys outside are staring with their mouths wide open with drool coming out. And the mothers come and try to cover their eyes.)
(Back to Tidus)
Selphie: Who is Tifa?
Tidus: A women I met at the Golden Saucer a while back.
Selphie: Hmmm.... you're one of those types eh? {Ooooooo I like his spikey hair and his clothes are just so.....ooooooooooooooooo...ah yes he is perfect for me....}
(Selphie starts to get closer to Tidus, then Tidus notices)
Tidus: uhh, what are you doing?
Selphie: O! I'm a little cold, could you like warm me up?
Tidus: uhh.... how about not... I will not get involved with anything you want to do with me... SO STAY AWAY!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
(Tidus tries to escape but all the doors are loked and the windows rolled up.)
End of chapter one... If you have anything to say to me e-mail me at Kaze356@ffextreme.com or if you want someone in this fic as a guest star or anything, JUST DON'T SUE ME OR MY DOG!!