Author's Notes: Anyone reading this knows that Nickelodeon owns the rights to Big Time Rush, right? I just like to play chess with the boys, moving them around as I see fit.

This fic is dedicated to the person who still keeps me writing to this day with her cheerleading and willingness to listen to my rambling fic ideas. She motivates me and pushes me and encourages me and I love her dearly, even if all I ever hear from her is "Let them just have sex already!" But kathrynew30, you are the best, and I'm so glad we're still friends.

Also want to thank my buddies Sarah and PromiseMeTheStars for their awesome feedback and helping me to know that my writing gets the reactions I'm looking for. I love you guys. 3

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Their eyes meet no less than thirty times a day. Sometimes Logan catches him staring, other times he catches Logan. At first they were simply curious looks, like trying to figure out something you don't understand. Eventually they became shy glances as one kept catching the other and both looked away, cheeks flaming. Now there's full-on staring involved, and Logan is finding it harder and harder to look away from that beautiful face every day.

It's one thing to be curious when you're five and running races on the playground (James always beat everyone else and Logan never understood why, at least not until he learned about kinetics and the advantage of having longer legs), another when you get every answer right on every test while the other always seems to do poorly. Logan remembers the day they almost spoke, the day they were paired up on a project in fifth grade but just as Logan approached James' desk and opened his mouth (shaking with nerves), an announcement came over the loudspeaker calling James to the office. Logan was paired with someone else and James disappeared for two weeks.

James had a lot of friends; Logan had few. James was always surrounded by girls; Logan broke out in hives when one smiled at him. James was a natural in everything athletic; Logan sometimes tripped over his own feet. Logan won every spelling bee and academic competition he entered; James couldn't figure out the difference between "their" and "there" and "they're" or why the world didn't just pass some law stating all words that sound alike have to look alike. Logan provided medical assistance to the kid who cut his leg open in P.E.; James fainted at the sight of so much blood. Logan made their teachers beam with pride while James caused them to shake their heads in exasperation.

It was only natural for them to baffle each other, to study each other in an attempt to figure the other out. Maybe that was why James never seemed to miss a competition Logan entered, why Logan never missed a home game James played. They never spoke but were always aware of the other's presence, encouraging each other just by being there. Logan will never forget the night James made the winning shot in their school's basketball championship, how he whooped and hugged his teammates but then turned to look right at Logan, who was cheering like a proud father. It's the only smile they've ever shared, and that night Logan fell asleep with visions of that radiant grin shining on him.

In junior high puberty hit James and his glances were more self-conscious, usually ending in him blushing as Logan caught him staring. That in itself confused Logan, at least until freshman year when his own hormones kicked in and he couldn't look away without blushing as well. Now, sophomore year, the glances have become stares that are lasting longer and longer before one of them looks away.

Ten years of silence and Logan was beginning to wonder if it would always be like this between them, if they would make it all the way through senior year without exchanging a single word. He has this fantasy of James walking up to him on graduation day and without a word, sweeping him into a deep kiss before stepping back and saying, "Hi. I'm James." It's silly, of course they know each others' names, but it's somehow romantic and sweet and hot all at the same time, and who cares if James seems to be hot and heavy with that blonde? It's just a daydream and in his fantasy world, James only has eyes for Logan.

Logan is shaken out of his thoughts by the approach of the city bus they now take to school and his stomach erupts with butterflies. Every day is the same-every day James sits at the back of the bus while Logan sits halfway toward the front, facing sideways. Every day they catch each others' eyes, never smiling but lately holding that gaze just a little longer before turning away.

Logan runs his bus pass through the slot, greeting the driver before his eyes search out that beautiful face, and there it is with the anticipation Logan was so hoping to see.

Yesterday James smiled at him. Logan was too flustered to smile back, but that seemed to make James smile even wider so that wasn't so bad. He spent the entire bus ride trying to think of something to say, anything to say, but nothing came to him so instead they settled for staring openly for a change, rather than trying to be sneaky about it. When they arrived at his stop Logan again grasped for something to say but his brain simply wouldn't cooperate. He stepped to the back door and was waiting for it to open, defeated, when James' voice called to him.

"See ya tomorrow, Logan."

As far as first words go, they were nothing spectacular, but the promise they held meant everything. Logan turned back to smile at James, who was smirking at him, before answering. "Later, James."

XXXX

Today James is sitting not at the very back but in a two-seater section. It takes all the courage he can muster, but Logan passes his normal seat and keeps walking, James scooting over as he approaches.

I'm gonna sit next to him. He saved me a seat. Breathe, Logan. Breathe.

Logan slides in and James shifts to give him more room. They arrange their backpacks on their laps as the bus moves forward, neither looking at each other just yet.

"Morning," James says a block later, finally looking at Logan.

"Hi." Hi? That's all you can come up with? It doesn't help that James is wearing some sort of aftershave that's designed to overpower any female within fifty feet. What does it say about Logan that it's making him heady as well?

The awkward silence continues and Logan knows this was a bad idea. They have absolutely nothing in common, of course there's nothing to talk about.

"Awesome job on that science project last week. I switched hairspray and found that the environmentally-correct one you suggested works even better. You wouldn't know it because it looks messy, but every hair on my head is in place today, and it's gonna stay that way."

There's way too much in that statement to react to. Logan fights hard not to flail, focusing instead on James' hair. Bad idea, because he's wanted to touch that hair for as long as he can remember. "It doesn't look messy. It looks...soft," he finishes lamely.

"I work hard for that. Really, touch it."

Logan swallows hard and lifts his hand slowly. James leans his head closer. It is indeed stiffer than it looks, but when Logan slides his fingers in against James' temple he feels the softer hair underneath.

James closes his eyes for a moment. "Careful, don't mess it up," he says softly.

Logan jerks his hand back. "Sorry."

"It's cool, but um...see what I mean? Every hair in place but it looks messy. Your hairspray is amazing."

"It's not my hairspray, I was just testing different brands and the effects of their fluorocarbons on the atmosphere." Logan doesn't mention that he purposely chose hair products to study in an attempt to get James' attention in class. Apparently it worked.

"Well, either way. Thanks. Now I look good and I'm saving the Earth."

"Yep. One pump at a time."

James laughs. "So you do have a sense of humor."

Logan shrugs. "Just because I'm smart doesn't mean I'm not funny sometimes, too."

"And just because I'm pretty doesn't mean I can't be smart sometimes, too."

"I've seen you play. It takes brains to play as well as you do, make snap decisions in a fast-moving game like basketball. Or hockey, which you kick ass at, too." It's not like James doesn't know he attends the games, just hopefully doesn't know it's only to cheer on James that he goes.

James beams. "Thank you, Logan! I wish my parents understood that. Dad just wants me to win. Mom's a little better about it, but still treats me like a moron a lot of the time. I know I'm not a genius or anything, but I do have a brain."

And beautiful eyes. God, you have such beautiful eyes. James moves to stand and Logan realizes they're at the school. The moment is over. He grabs his bag and walks to the door, James at his heels.

"Hey uh...you coming to the game tonight?"

Logan glances back and smiles. "Wouldn't miss it."

If James grinned at him like that every day, Logan would die a happy man.

"James, finally! We barely have time to hang before class!"

They step off the bus, James addressing the gorgeous blonde waiting for him. "I can't control the bus, Nikki."

"Come on!" She grabs his hand and pulls him away toward their group of friends. Logan turns in the opposite direction and heads for the library to get a little more studying in for the math test later. It's really too bad they don't have all their classes together. Logan would jump at the chance to help James with his homework. He looks back once before entering the building.

James is standing amid his little clique of beautiful people, arms around Nikki's waist as she leans back against him. His chin is resting on her head as she prattles on, but his eyes are right where Logan hoped they would be-on him.

Logan smiles at James, who smiles back. He can't wait for the ride home.

XXXXX

The day passes like always, the only difference being that now there are smiles thrown in with the stares. In the classes they share James stays on his side of the room, Logan on the other, but when James answers a question correctly Logan discreetly gives him a thumbs-up, causing James to beam for the rest of the period. In the cafeteria they share glances again, even a few smiles, but nothing more. James is surrounded by his clique as always, Logan at a table with others but not anyone he could call a friend.

Logan is disappointed when James doesn't show on the bus home, and it's a while before he remembers that on game days James has to stay after. He's more bummed out than he would've expected to be, and it shows him just how much he'd been looking forward to talking to James again. At least it's a home game tonight, so he knows he'll see James there, even though they won't talk.

He sits halfway up the bleachers, preferring to blend in as always, but those hazel eyes pick him out the second he takes a seat. James smiles up at him from the court as the team does their warm-up and Logan's heart flutters like mad. He watches Nikki, a cheerleader of course, call out to James and wave but James doesn't look away from Logan, and Logan really really likes that. He gives James a thumbs-up for good luck and the grin he's rewarded with leaves Logan blushing because damn, James is gorgeous. Even when his hair gets messed up from sweating as he runs up and down the court (and yes, even with helmet hair when he plays hockey), he is beautiful. Logan understands the basics of both sports and has played basketball enough in P.E. to know that James is good, probably the best on the team. It's no wonder he's so popular.

It's another one of those nights when James is the star, coming from out of nowhere to steal the game from the opposing team at the last possible second. He dunks the shot and spins with his arms pumping the sky, sharing the moment with Logan before his teammates tackle him with excitement. The cheerleaders rush onto the court as well and James is swarmed by everyone, but he keeps searching out Logan as if it's Logan he wants to congratulate him, Logan he wants to attack him with a hug.

It's not going to happen, they haven't made it to that level of friendship yet, but it makes Logan happy enough just knowing that James wants to get there, too.

XXXX

James scoots over the second Logan steps on the bus the next morning. "Hey!"

"Morning. You were amazing last night!" Logan slides into the next seat and settles in, turning to look at James, who blushes.

"It was pretty cool, I didn't think we were gonna take it. That Knight kid kept blocking me, he's really good."

"Yeah, I noticed. He was all over you."

"Right? I couldn't even get close to the net most of the time. But I got lucky on that last shot, he was covering my buddy Dave and I snuck right by him. Saw my chance and I went for it."

"Told you you were smart."

More blushing.

"What? You are! I was watching you, I saw that brain working."

"Coach was really proud of me. It's weird, my dad always gets on me to win, but he never goes to the games. I mean, how much does he really care?"

"What about your mom?"

"She works all the time. Owns a cosmetics company."

Logan smirks. This really doesn't surprise him. "So nobody comes to the games to watch you play?"

James shrugs, following it with a soft smile for Logan. "I guess somebody does."

Logan's face gets hot when he realizes James is talking about him. He stares past James and out the window.

"And it's uh...pretty cool. That he does."

Again Logan doesn't answer, swallowing nervously.

The bus comes to a stop and James moves to stand; Logan does the same, hating that the ride is already over. It seems like he just sat down! "See you after school?" he asks.

"Not today. I have detention."

"What? Dude, what did you do?"

"Nothing, I just need some extra help. I guess it's not really detention, it just feels like it. Meeting with my math teacher for an hour after school."

"Oh. Math is my specialty, you know."

James grins at him. "Yeah. I know. Somebody goes to watch you compete, too."

The bus door opens and James steps past him. It takes a second for Logan to move because he's standing frozen, embarrassed but pleased at the same time.

"James, you'll never guess who Marie is going out with!"

"Hello to you too, Nikki. How come you never greet me? Like say 'good morning' or 'hi'?"

"Oh, whatever. But guess!"

Logan walks past them toward the library, not catching the rest of it, but he feels James' eyes on him as he goes. It makes him nervous about his walk, wondering what he must look like from behind. He stands straighter and holds his head up, looking back once before stepping into the building, and there's that smile again, just for him.

Yeah, he just might hang out for an hour in the library after school, take a later bus.

XXXX

It seems to be in vain; James doesn't show for the later bus. Logan considers waiting for the next one, but he really needs to get home and get started on his essay for English. With a sigh he gets on the bus and finds an empty seat. He also really needs to stop thinking about James like this.

There's a banging on the door as it closes and Logan looks up, heart in his throat. James hurries onto the bus, thanking the driver profusely. I can stop thinking about him later.

He moves his backpack off the seat and James stops halfway down the aisle, surprised into a smile upon seeing him there. "Hey."

"Hey. Long day?"

"You have no idea." James falls into the vacated seat. "Didn't expect to see you here."

"Had some stuff to do in the library."

"Riiiight. Not complaining, though."

Change the subject, Logan. You're getting pretty pathetic, he can see right through you. "So um...how did the math session go?"

"I don't know. I mean, she explains it and it sounds like nonsense. I get the basics, I know how to add and subtract and multiply and stuff, but this algebra stuff is hard. What are you in, quantum physics or something?"

"Ha, no. Just pre-calculus. You'll probably like geometry better. Most people who have trouble with algebra do better in geometry."

"How about you?"

"I excel at both. But I'm a special case."

"Yeah, a genius. So what are you gonna do in college?"

"I want to be a doctor."

"Really? I remember when you helped that kid in P.E. You'll be a good doctor."

"How about you?"

"Me? I'm gonna be a star."

"Really? I would've thought you'd go into sports."

"Nah, I like playing but it's not like...what I love most. I love to sing."

"How come you haven't gone out for the musicals?"

"Because my dad thinks I should be an athlete and my mom thinks I should take over her company."

"A cosmetics company?"

James shrugs. "I could do it. I know enough, or at least I will when she brings me into it and shows me the ropes. She's decided that's where I belong."

"And dad wants you in sports."

"Yeah."

"But you just want to sing."

"I just want to be famous. Model, singer, actor...whatever. But I love to sing."

"Are you any good?"

Another shrug, this one shy. "How would I really know? I think I am. I want to join choir but there's no room in my schedule for it, not with the sports."

You should sing for me sometime. But he doesn't say it out loud, knowing that might sound a bit...well. And damn, how can they be here already? "My stop."

"Yeah." James stands up so Logan can move out. "Have a great night. Same time tomorrow?"

"You got detention again?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. See you in the morning. You have a good night, too."

"Thanks. I will."

One more smile passes between them and Logan steps off the bus. I really need to not be so obvious. He totally knows I'm crushing on him. And why am I crushing on him? None of this makes sense, we hardly know each other.

But one thing Logan's mom has always told him is that love doesn't make sense, and that when he finally finds it, he'll understand that which can't be understood. That entire phrase itself didn't make sense to him, but his mom has never been wrong, so he knows he's in for something crazy with James.

Not that James would love him. Or that he'd love James. It's just a crush. One-sided, at that.

Still, he can't stop smiling as he walks the two blocks home. James confuses him, but he rather likes it.

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