Consider this fan fiction I write here to be a challenge to everyone out there! While I support and ship the male Shepard and Tali storyline. I feel as if our female version is being left out in the dust. So I ask everyone who reads this to write a fic about Tali/Femshep be it romantic, a one sided love or about friendship. I do not care!
This one shot story will be based on the Colonist/Sole survivor/Paragon Shepard. I'll be based on her just prior to going through the omega relay. However depending on how I feel I may add in two more chapters of her inside the collector ship and a quick after math chapter.
Oh and I don't own mass effect blahblahblah. By the by I'm not the best at spelling and grammar. So first I'd like to apologize and second will gladly take any offer of someone who's willing to edit the story.
It's not easy being a hero of an entire Galaxy.
There are certain expectations a hero needs to live up to and people throw you on the highest pedicle they can think of. They expect you to be perfect and impervious to pain of both physical and emotional. However that is not the case because in the end this hero is still only human. However being a hero and not only that a commander of a ship. Shepard knows that she must pretend she is perfect and that she can hold up to everyone's expectation because in the end when you take on this role. You don't do it for yourself. You do it for everyone else that stands beside you. You need to project an aura of strength and conviction so those you command will project the same confidence.
A smile sweet and tender spread along the lips of Commander Shepard as her mind drifted off. She may not have known many much of her crew at first but in their short time together they all grew in their own ways. That smile though was short lived. She had failed as a commander in the worse possible way by allowing the collectors to take her crew. This wasn't the first time she lost people on her crew. There was that incident on Akuze an experience that still haunted her dreams from time to time. Then of course there was when she had to leave Kaidan behind and she accepts the fact that there was nothing she could do about that. Though at times, she still found herself feeling guilt over the situation. Wondering, if perhaps there was something that could have been done. However that was nothing to the experience on the day she died.
Her frown deepened as she remembered running through the first Normandy. This was her home and the closest thing she had to a family since she was young and now it was a wreck. Loose wires that crackled with electricity spilling from frayed tips littered both floor and ceiling… or at least what was left of the ceiling. Chairs among many other object floated as the artificial gravity was damaged beyond repair. She remembered seeing the bodies. The bodies of the people who trusted her to keep them safe were seen now dead with the pain of their death still etched on their faces.
She remembered when she was spaced just after securing Joker within an escape pod. It was the most horrifying thing she had ever experienced. Oh goddess and when she realized her suit had been damaged. She was slowly suffocating and breathing became more painful with every gasp of air she took. The frigid temperature seeped into the suit eating away at her skin. Yes, that's exactly how it felt upon her body. She remembers letting or at least trying to let out a strangled cry but was cut short by the image the flooded her vision. She watched as a giant ship she had not recognized at that time sliced through the Normandy. Her home had exploded all around. That was when she truly felt and understood just how much she had failed her crew. Hell she didn't know how many had escaped. Had any of them truly escaped? That was amongst the chaos truly frightened her the most. Had everyone died because of her? Those as self loathing as it may seem where the last thoughts that crossed her mind as the gravity from Alchera slowly pulled her to her death.
The cloths which Shepard wore felt constraining and suffocating. She slowly tugged at her own collar in an attempt to be rid of some of the pressure. With a low growl she forced herself to take a deep slow breath to calm her nerves.
Somewhere during the thought process she didn't hear nor notice that a young quarian had entered her room. Tali whom now stood by the fish tank which was more for decoration at this point then holding fish. At least any live ones. Her eyes watching the obviously agitated commander fidget at her desk with deep concern. The young quarian unsure if she should leave or perhaps approach the woman she admired and cared for.
"This is no time to pity your self. Focus on the crew you can still save."
Oh god… goddess… maker… whatever higher deity that may exist. How she hoped and prayed there was still a crew to be saved.
Again she forced her self to calm her nerves as she took slow breaths. Eyes drifting towards her desk, searching for something to work on because in her many years as a soldier. She learnt that the best way to prevent a wandering mind was to have it focus on work. Perhaps she could look over the upgrades they had obtained for the ship. However as she continued to scan over the desk she fell upon a picture frame. Slowly hesitant hands reached forward drawing the frame closer into her vision. It was a picture of herself and some of her old crew during the celebration ceremony when Saren had been defeated.
Once again she couldn't help as a small smile tugged at her lips as she looked over each face. The way Ashley stood with well deserved pride and her smile was so large to the point Shepard had joked about it getting stuck that way. This later earned a playful smack across the arm. Wrex and Garrus both were uncomfortable being at the celebration. However they both bore through it by getting into conversation, sometimes arguments, over old missions. Liara had a little harder time as she wasn't a big fan on crowds to begin with. Shepard could have sworn had Dr. Chakwas not been distracting her every step of the way with conversations about the protheins. The woman probably would have bolted at the first opportune moment. Then of course there was joker who spent most of the dinner sitting due to his bones, but that didn't stop that man from causing trouble with his jokes. Finally she fell upon the final member of her team with in the photo, Tali.
Every time she thought of the engineer. Shepard's stomach would flutter and her chest tightens. During their search for Saren whenever Shepard was feeling the stress get to her. She would take a walk around the ship talking too many of her crew mates. It was always talking to the Quarian that eased her most. Her bright and almost bubbly attitude was hard not to get caught up in. Even when she was tired or didn't feel so well, she was always polite. She was dependable too in a fight and so very intelligent. Not to say the other members on the ship were not. There was just something different about Tali.
"Heh, where would my life be like without you Tali'zorah?"
While the words where no louder then a whisper the young girl in question heard them none the less. Her body stiffened and her grip around a data pad she had brought with her tightened. She had been on the verge of leaving but now the conflict to approach the commander was even more difficult to ignore. Though that was no longer an issue as Shepard placed the frame back into its place and turned around.
Now Shepard isn't one to startle easily. Considering she's made a career out of being quick in both mind and on her feet. However when the person you were thinking about only seconds ago seems to appear out of no where. Well wasn't it mentioned earlier that she was only human?
"Tali!" Shepard's voice cracked slightly as her eyes widen.
She wasn't the only one who was startled. Had Tali not been wearing her environmental suit. She would of sworn she'd of jumped right out of her skin instead of simply jumping into the air.
"H-hello, Commander. Um I brought up t-the some information. I mean the data pad about the engine. That is to say about the upgrades made to the engine. I-I don't think we'll have a problem making the Omega Jump relay. I mean the Relay Jump Omega. Oh bosh'tet you know what I mean!" With a stuttered reply, Tali thrust the Data disk in front of herself using both hands. Her head was turned to the side in an attempt to look anywhere else but her commander. 'I should have taken my leave when I had the chance. Now she's going think you've been spying on her and on top of that she probably thinks I've cracked my helmet open!'
Shepard watch as the Quarian fidget on the spot. The shock and surprise of first seeing the woman now disappeared. The feeling had been replaced with that fluttering sensation. Along side a calm which came with being in Tali's presence. She thought back to after they had returned from Tali's trial. Luckily they had been able to get them to drop the charges with out having to drag the woman's father through the dirt.
Shepard was doing her usual round of talking to the crew. As soon as Tali joined her side once again she always started off in engineering and made her way up the ship. That day had been no different. Unfortunately Tali had gotten a little ill after trying to fix her environmental suit. That eventually led to the conversation of linking suits among the Quarian people. When Tali mentioned how she trusted her enough to do that. Well let's just say the rest of the day she had a smile that no one could get rid of. That same smile reappeared at the sheer memory of teasing the girl about being embarrassed on the subject. So with out thinking first she blurted out what came to her mind that very second.
"Oh? Only a data pad? Here I was hoping you came to link suits with me."
When Tali's head snapped back towards Shepard an awkward silence fell over the two of them. One who was cursing herself for saying something so very stupid. While the other was unsure if she truly heard what she thought she heard. Minds spun so fast that the simple task of standing in one spot became such an effort that it made one dizzy.
It wasn't more then a few seconds but to Shepard it felt like forever. "It was a joke. Thank you for the data. Is there anything else I can help you with, Tali?"
Fingers braced around the pad finally taking it away from the still outstretch arms. When Tali's arms fell slowly to her side did she snap out of her train of thought. Finally hearing what the commander had said. For a moment Tali thought that it would be best to get back to work even when there wasn't really anything left to do. Though when she looked towards her commander she remembered when she first entered the room and the state she had seen Shepard in. It wasn't her usual calm demeanour like she was in now. No, it was someone who was upset. Maybe even the image of someone who was frightened about what was to come.
"Is… is everything alright?" She asked.
For a moment Shepard looked a little taken back. Unsure of what exactly her friend was asking. When she recovered her eyes looked down at the data in her hands and back at the desk briefly.
"Everything seems to be fine. All the upgrades seem to be fitting in well." Now it was the Quarian's turn to look confused. "Also with Joker behind the wheel. So to speak. I doubt we'll have any problems making the jump."
'Oh, for the love of… she thought I was talking about the ship!' Tali couldn't help but to groan a little in frustration. With a few step forwards she grabbed a hold of one of Shepard's hands tenderly. Shepard's own eyes looking at first down at the now clasped hands then back towards. Her head now at a slight tilt as obvious confusion was drawn on her features.
"Is everything alright with you?" Tali asked once more.
She may have started this conversation off stuttering like a fool but that nervous hesitant girl was no where to be seen. Instead someone who was determined to help her closest friend stood in her place. Shepard blinked a few times willing her mind to catch up. Something that was put on pause when she felt the hands of the other upon with her own. When she came to understand what was being asked at last. She forced herself to smile.
"Ah, sorry. I am not use to people asking if I am alright. If you don't mind me asking though what brings this up?"
Tali wanted to protest that fact at first but as she thought about it she found it to be true. Her second reaction was to be angry at the other crew members but then she remembers that she too was guilty of this fact. Tali had been by Shepard's side ever since the back alley on the citadel. They fought together as they chased Saren across the galaxy. Then after Shepard saved Tali yet again on the planet Haestorm they teamed up again until they stood where they are now. During that whole time how often did anyone ask if Shepard was alright? A pang of guilt shot through her system. With a shaking breath she reasserted her determination. She'll make up for her mistake now and listen to whatever Shepard was willing to share.
"When I came into your room. I noticed that something was bothering you. I don't mean to pry and if you're uncomfortable with discussing the situation with me. I do truly understand and I won't hold it against you. I just… I want to be there for you, Shepard." With each word that slipped out the more Tali'Zorah poured out her heart.
"You're so much more then just my commander and a hero to me. You're my friend and I care for you very deeply. I don't want to see you in pain but I hope that when you are. You can feel like you can come to me. I know I can't fix everything that may be bothering you, but I will do whatever I can to help. Know also I'm not the only one who thinks this." Tali continued as she felt herself grow more emotional.
However she wouldn't let the tears that were threatening to fall to do so. She was here for Shepard.
"I heard you s-say that you didn't know where you would be with out me. W-well the truth is the f-feeling is mutual. I d-don't know where I would be with out you. So if you trust me with your problems I would like to hear them."
Somewhere during the confession they had maneuvered themselves towards the couch. Where they both sat now, side by side. Tali wasn't sure if it was herself who had pulled them there or perhaps it was Shepard. That didn't matter now. What mattered was how Shepard would respond and though every fibber in her body was afraid she might have crossed a line. She willed her self to stay where she sat peering towards the one she cared for most in the universe.
For a while Shepard stayed silent. Unconsciously her hands tightened slightly with the intertwined fingers as the sides of her mouth tugged upwards. Her mind went over every word that had been said and her eyes studied the woman who was beside her. After what felt like forever Commander Shepard spoke up. Her words slicing through the silence that had fallen heavily onto the room.
"There are very few people that I trust with all my heart, and Tali you're one of them." With a shaky breath, Shepard continued. "I was just thinking about our current situation and of the past…"
As time went by Shepard shared her thoughts that occurred prior to noticing Tali. While in return Tali sat listening to every word and not interrupting. However when all was said and done Tali did lecture Shepard about how there was nothing she could of done and how foolish it was to blame herself for what had been done. This left the commander chuckling to herself a little and causing the other to look around a little confused.
"Yes ma'am!" Shepard teased giving off a salute to drive the point home. "Also remind me to never anger you."
"Ha! Yes, that would be a very wise decision. I would hate to send Chiktikka vas Paus after you." This caused both women to giggle together. Easing the air around them.
"But in all seriousness, Tali. I want to thank you."
"I didn't really do much, but I'm glad if I was of some help."
"You've done more then you think you have. Not only this, but for everything. Back on Freedom's Progress I had literally only found out on the ride there I had been dead for two years. Also that I now owed Cerberus my life in resurrecting me and that I may have no choice but to work with them." Shepard sighed at the memory. It wasn't exactly the most pleasant feeling to know you have no option but to be working for a company you despised.
"You trusted me even though you saw me working side by side with 've done more then just that. You've been by my side helping me ever since we first started going after Saren. Even now you stand by my side even though you know Cerberus is pulling a lot of strings with this mission. When Legion came aboard you were upset but again you trusted my judgment. You always heard me out even in the most difficult of times. You stay even when we're about to go into what most are calling a Suicide Mission."
Their hands never separated having always stayed intertwined with each other. This Shepard took advantage of as she slowly pulled their bodies closer. Just enough so she could lean her head on the quarian's shoulder.
"I don't think I would have the confidence or the will to pull this off with out you here. So thank you Tali'Zorah, for everything."
For the first time that evening their hands separated but only so they can wrap their arms around each other. All her walls in the past two hours had finally crumbled. She was no longer the hero of the galaxy. Nor was she the commander of Normandy. She was simply a woman seeking comfort in the embrace of a friend. No, in the embrace of the woman she loved. They stayed like that for a few minutes. Neither of them talked but the silence was not uncomfortable. They simply enjoyed each other's warmth and company. However everything must come to an end.
Over the intercom came Joker's voice. "Commander, 15 minutes until we hit the Omega Relay."
"I guess that's our que to get back to work." The sound was muffled as Shepard's head still leaned against Tali's shoulder, but a smile could be heard lacing each word.
Tali sighed slightly disappointed that their moment had been interrupted. Even more so as their embrace broke and she watched in front of her Shepard returning to being a commander. Her walls had returned as she stood ready to do the impossible, again. When Tali came up to the 'loft' as some called it. She didn't expect to be put on an emotional roller coaster but despite that fact she didn't regret doing so. She smiled to herself as something she hadn't addressed yet crossed her mind. Slowly Tali stood unsure if she should really ask the question that's been on her mind.
"My apologise Shepard, but there is one last thing I would like to ask."
"Hmm?"
"What would you do or say. If I admitted that I did originally come up here to… link suits?"
For the second time in one day Commander Shepard was startled. Caught so off guard to the point where she stumbled on her own two feet as she was guiding both herself and Tali out of her room. Her eyes were wide and…
"It may be a little hard to tell through my helmet but are you blushing, Jaine Shepard?"
I think I now remember why I prefer writing comics then actual fics. Oh well it was interesting.
Oh for those who don't know Chiktikka vas Paus is the name of Tali's combat drone. Now back to working on my Dragon Age fan comic... I swear I'm not a bioware addict! /3