WARNINGS :: Slight human x non-human homosexual relationship (ZADR). Mentions of death, torture, illicit sexual relations, murder, stalkers, superiority complexes, blatant self serving, airheadedness, making a scene, destroying the Earth, and confusing alien anatomy. Brutal slaughtering of English grammar as well as a gross misuse of dashes, commas, semi-colons, and the words 'and', 'but', and 'so.'
A/N :: I'm spreading my wings (and learning to flyyyy~!) Invader Zim is my new squeeze - well, actually, that's a lie. It's my old new squeeze, because I used to be obsessed a long time ago, but now I'm revisiting it indefinitely.
Important Things To Note :: Definitely not in chronological order; (mostly) takes place in the same universe; some situations take up more than one sentence, but most don't.
Inspired By/Written For :: 1sentenceorder on LJ.
Onwards!
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28. New :: Ever since he was a smeet, fresh from the tube and barely old enough to function, even with his PAK, he's had visions of a small, amber-eyed, pale-skinned alien with an extremely large head – him riding some strange machine with only three wheels, him strapping a hover helmet to his giant cranium while a smaller, female alien watches, him climbing a strange tower chasing after a very hairy creature that is shouting foreign words down at him – and it's with a very poignant shock that isn't fully mental that Zim walks into Ms. Bitters' class the first day he lands on the giant ball of filth that the Almighty Tallest had sent him to conquer and immediately spots the "human", as they were called – he learned that on the never-ending journey here – glasses glinting in the poor light, sending a sharp shiver racing through Zim's tiny frame, and it isn't until later, after the excruciatingly long evasion through the city that Zim feels an elated grin stretch over his face, the human pounding at the door with cries of "I'll get you, Zim! I know what you are!" and the Irken turns to his defective robot and says, with a satisfied nod as he pulls a stick out of his wig, "I feel good about how today went."
49. Winter :: He'd had his suspicions – he'd grown up believing in aliens, after all – but it hadn't been until he'd been sitting on the roof of his house one strikingly uneventful night, laying on the cold tiles and staring up at the sky, headphones acting as substitute earmuffs to keep his ears warm from the steadily dropping temperature of the nipping breeze as the stars twinkled beautifully and merrily down on him, and he had felt his eyes dropping closed, just about to turn in for the night, when there was a sudden crackling in his headphones and his amber eyes shot wide open, his mouth dropping as he suddenly knew, just knew, that something was coming, here, to Earth, something from outer space was coming, they were actually out there, and they were coming, and he had been so happy, so excited to finally have proof that his suspicions were correct, extraterrestrials existed, he wasn't crazy, and when they came, he was going to expose them and be famous and then everyone that had ever made fun of him would be sorry; it wasn't until over half a year later, when he'd just about given up hope, that he had shown up posing as a human new transfer student in Dib's class, of all things, that strange little green kid that had everyone else fooled but Dib knew he was an alien, oh yes, he knew, and it was his duty to all of humankind of Earth to stop him, the scummy alien – Zim; even his name had a 'scummy alien' feel to it – from destroying the Earth – according to Dib's research, that was the only reason any alien would visit Earth, and he'd rather die than ever let that happen, so Zim was automatically an enemy, and Dib couldn't afford to let his guard down around the alien, lest he risk the lives of every single person on Earth.
4. Bugs :: Eight disproportionately large eyes stare at him unblinkingly out of a hairy face that sits atop an equally hairy body; the spider is lounging on his desk nonchalantly, almost mocking him in its unwillingness to move, and over the shrieks of terror from his classmates – "Jesus Christ, that thing is huge!" "Somebody kill it, somebody kill it, somebody kill it NOW!" "Ew ew ew ew ew!" – he can hear a certain alien's maniacal giggles, and he vows to himself that he will get his revenge; after he lets go of the chair he has a death grip on and the prominent, paralyzing fear has let go of his heart, that is – of all things, why did it have to be a spider?
2. Apples :: He realizes something is wrong the second after his razor sharp teeth cut easily through the fruit's crunchy skin, and he looks up at the human, who is wearing a smug grin; the intense burning starts the second after, and he can't hear Dib's triumphant shout over the sound of his own screams of pain.
3. Beginnings :: The first time they ever kiss, it's messy and forceful and clumsy and awkward and slightly dangerous, because they're in the public library for god's sake, and Zim is hissing – Dib remembers, with a slight wince of sympathy, that his spit is made of water and therefore burns the little alien – and he's probably doing it softly but it sounds incredibly loud to Dib's overly sensitive hearing, and Dib's lip is bleeding from where Zim's razor sharp teeth cut him – whether on purpose or on accident, the human doesn't know, although he wouldn't be surprised to learn it was on purpose – but then they part and he peers down at the short Irken who is pointedly not looking at him, but his claws are still gripping the front of Dib's jacket when he grabbed the taller human to pull him down, so Dib thinks to himself that it really could have been much worse.
5. Coffee :: "YOU FOOL!" Zim cries from his perch on the counter, waving the cup in the face of the frightened young barista, unmindful of the hot liquid that spews from the mouth of the lid and rains down on the poor bystanders; "Now that I have access to your FILTHY human 'coffee' technology, it is only a matter of time before your PITIFUL Earth" – he spits the word out as if it hurts him to say it – "Falls to the almighty ZIM!"; he would have kept going had a pale hand not reached out and grabbed the front of his shirt to pull him off the counter as an almost hysterical Dib hisses, "What do you think you're DOING?"
6. Dark :: His wrists are strapped with tight metal cuffs to a cold table, and he blinks frantically in the pitch black room, trying to clear his fuzzy vision until he realizes that his glasses are no longer resting on his face; a green and red blur steps from the shadows, an indistinct silver object glinting in the poor light, and Dib feels his stomach drop when a sharp point is suddenly dragged down his cheek and a familiar voice whispers foreign words in his ear that Dib doesn't need a translator to know don't mean anything good.
7. Despair :: A 3-fingered hand slams down on a keyboard as the owner of the hand growls and stares at a large view screen with a mighty vicious glare; that PATHETIC large-headed human had foiled his ingenious plan yet again, and quite frankly, the alien was starting to get sick of it.
9. Drink :: "I suppose…" the alien takes a step back from the now static-filled screen and begins to pace, muttering aloud to himself as he reaches into a nearby tube and takes hold of the soda that has been deposited there as per usual, "That this… human will simply have to be…" here, he pauses and takes a sip out of his straw, chewing the end of the plastic thoughtfully, before grinning a sardonic smile, full of sharp teeth and continuing, "…eliminated."
10. Duty :: "As you can see, My Tallest, everything is completely under contr-" A chirp of surprise leaps from his throat and he cuts himself off mid-word, throwing gloved claws over his mouth as color immediately rises to his cheeks, and he barely manages to finish the call before he spins on his heel, crosses his arms and glares at the suspiciously wide-eyed human who's standing behind in front of him, grin too large to be innocent and left hand conspicuously close to someplace it should not be touching when the alien is talking to someone as important as the leaders of his home planet.
8. Doors :: Building and rigging the device may have taken much longer than Zim usually prefers to spend on his enemies, but seeing Dib's face covered with blood rushing from his swollen nose when the classroom door swings back to hit him gives Zim warm and fuzzy feelings in his squeedly spooch.
46. War :: That is, until he walks into his house the next day only to discover the same mechanism hooked up to his own door, and although it hurts, Zim's able to endure the few days of taunting and teasing about his puffy face with the thought that at least he – unlike the human stink-beast – doesn't have a nose that bleeds all over the place and, when broken – 'As the pathetic human's was,' Zim thought to himself with a strange sort of satisfaction – gives him a horrible nasally accent that garners even more mocking than before.
13. Fall :: He can handle the fights, the food throwing, the insults, the proverbial pigtail pulling without any trouble; it's only when a courtyard scuffle ends with Zim shoving the human to the cement, straddling his waist and seemingly not going to move any time soon that the paranormal investigator looks up at the smirking alien, raises an eyebrow and says, "Wow Zim, I never knew you felt that way about me."
42. Strange :: Nothing can prepare him for the rush of emotions that pulse through him when the alien looks down at him, shrugs, and very bluntly replies, "Unless you're talking about my extreme disdain for you, then I don't."
44. Taboo :: 'This is so wrong,' Dib thinks to himself as a 3-fingered hand slides into his unruly black hair and a cool, short body presses itself against his, but that doesn't stop him from letting out a heartfelt moan when a long ropey tongue mingles with his own, nor does it stop him from wrapping pale fingers around the feathery appendages on the top of the alien's head, and it definitely doesn't stop him from pulling the striped shirt over the head of his companion so he can run his hands up the smooth, cool chest that's revealed to him; truthfully, the thought doesn't stop or prevent anything, because if society doesn't approve of him having illicit sexual relations with a lovely male alien, then they weren't really worth sparing more than a second – if that – of thought for.
38. Snow :: Furious violet eyes stare out of the cafeteria windows towards the playground, which has been dusted in a white powder that is being disturbed by the children rushing through it, scooping it and throwing it and rolling in it; a sudden weight on his arm startles him, and he screams, throwing a hand around sharply to land with an incredibly loud 'smack' against pale skin, sending the boy stumbling and landing flat on his back, amber eyes wide behind large lenses as he stares up, aghast, at the green figure that's standing above him, who, upon noticing the human's gaze, tells him in a strangely calm voice, "Before you ask, Dib-beast – and I know you will because ZIM KNOWS ALL – of COURSE we had snow on my home planet, because my home planet is EARTH!"
41. Stable :: "And… you're sure this is safe, Zim?" Dib looks down over the desecrated rope railing at the viciously bubbling gloop below with a growing sense of apprehension, a sense of apprehension that increases when Zim doesn't answer, but Dib doesn't get the chance to worry about it for much longer because the next second, he feels the wooden boards underneath his feet begin to crack and splinter, and he only has time to mutter a venomous, "You jerk," at the malevolently cackling alien before the rickety boards give way beneath his shoes and he falls through the floor of the bridge.
33. Rain :: Sharp violet eyes catch the droplets as they fall, creating a never ending water curtain of water around the pair that are housed in the protective embrace of a large, obnoxious, piggy spotted umbrella, their feet kicking up little puddles of water that have the violet-eyed one wincing with every step and he unconsciously moves towards to alien heat of his companion when the torrential downpour starts up again, sending drops of water unnervingly close to his face that have him hissing in displeasure as a throaty chuckle comes from the other boy and a lanky arm wraps around his shoulders to pull him, unresistingly, even closer to the tall, raven-headed human.
31. Poison :: Bright amber eyes are alight with anticipation as they stare at the clear vial that's sitting innocently on top of a desk across the room, a desk that belongs to certain alien, who, oh, speak of the devil, is entering the room right now and casts a wary glance at the bottle before reaching out and slowly grasping the note that's being held on a ribbon around the neck of the vial to read over it at an inhuman speed; when he apparently finds something satisfactory written on the paper, he nods his head rapidly, once, twice, before popping the lid off the top of the container, holding it to an imaginary toast, and knocking back the liquid in one clean, swift shot.
24. Hope :: Dib watches with mounting excitement as the drink slides down Zim's throat, waiting for the inevitable screaming and crying and thrashing that accompany ingesting the poison that Zim has just drank; however, he is sorely disappointed when Zim appears to have no outward signs of distress at all; as a matter of fact, the alien has the nerve to turn to human and flourish the vial in his direction, smacking his lips in satisfaction as he calls a loud and smirking, "Why, thank you for the strangely delicious gift, Dib-beast!" from across the classroom to a violently twitching human.
36. Secret :: "Pathetic human," a furious voice hisses, unnervingly close to his ear, causing Dib to jump and whirl around swiftly, the angry retort on the tip of his tongue dying when he catches sight of the fuming alien in front of him, and he can barely stop himself from outright gaping, which is something Zim catches onto, because his eyes narrow as he grinds out through tightly clenched teeth, "You will fix whatever you did to Zim, immediately,"; Dib feels his eyes widen as he fixes an almost convincing incredulous gaze on Zim and replies, a bit too loudly, "Me? What makes you think I had anything to do with the fact that you're now purple?"
1. Air :: The pair splits reluctantly, one breathing heavily, his usually pale face flushed a peculiar shade of red, while the other, wearing a satisfied smirk, appears to be completely unaffected, save for two deep green splotches high on his emerald cheeks; sometimes, Dib really hates Zim for not having to breathe as often as humans.
23. Honor :: "Just give up already, Zim. You won't win," the words are said with a spiteful sneer at the crumpled, moaning form on the cold cement floor, a form that slowly begins to stand, despite the obvious injuries that point to not doing so if he wants to live for much longer – the unnatural angle of his ankle, the deep scratches gouged into his torso, the burns on his face, the hideous bruise forming close enough to his eye to impair his vision – but nevertheless, he gets to his feet, however shakily, coughing up a rather frightening amount of blood that leaks, unnoticed, down the corners of his mouth as he stares into cracked lenses – the one good shot he managed to get in; it wasn't much, but Dib's right eyelid was starting to swell, and there was a piece of glass lodged into his cornea that looked horribly painful, and it made Zim strangely proud – and replies in a voice strong and full of conviction, despite the fact that he's literally falling apart at the seams; "Never."
14. Fire :: Smoke is rising into the air and following Zim down the halls, enveloping him in a cloud that dissipates as soon as he throws open the door to the classroom with a loud exclamation of something meant to be convincingly human sounding, and of course nobody is suspicious, because they are stupid and he was ZIM, master of disguise, as well as everything else – "Hey Zim?" Dib's call snaps him out of his thoughts, and he snaps back, "What?" only for the human to point at some spot on his arm and inform him, "You're on fire."; Zim turns to look at his arm, spots the small flame flickering happily, then shrugs and quite nonchalantly responds, "Am I? Ah well."
15. Flexible :: They're in the middle of a fight, all tangled up and wrapped around one another when Dib notices the uncomfortable position that Zim is in and thinks that the alien almost looks like a pretzel, actually – an arm over his head, one leg behind the other, his back arched unnaturally far as he glares at Dib, his ridiculous wig somehow still managing to stay on despite the fact that Zim's head is completely upside down, and yet the alien doesn't seem to be in any pain at all; on the contrary, he almost seems to be… enjoying it, stretching farther than is strictly necessary and damn him, but it's sending blood rushing to somewhere it shouldn't be when he's fighting with the alien hell bent on taking over the world and destroying all of mankind , and Dib silently curses his raging teenage hormones.
45. Ugly :: "Oh, don't be so noble, Dib. You and I both know that if you had the chance, you would turn me in without a second thought. But you won't, because no one will believe you," Zim finally looks up from the experiment then, the bones above his gigantic crimson eyes arched in an imitation of eyebrows, only to find a pale hand flying towards his face that he quickly dodges, sending his own gloved fist at Dib's diaphragm, guaranteed to send him falling to the ground and oh, there he goes; it's with a cynical grin, showcasing his incredibly sharp teeth, that Zim lowers himself to over Dib's face, scrunched tight with pain, and says in a voice too close to the human's ear for comfort, "No one ever believes you."
20. Green :: A small hand wraps around the large scythe like piece of hair on Dib's head – the piece that stubbornly refuses to stay down, no matter how many bottles of gel are poured onto it – and yanks with inhuman strength, and Dib thinks he's screaming but all he can hear is the pounding of the blood that's rushing through his ears because oh god, it hurts so bad, and all Dib can do is grope blindly, running calloused fingertips along slick fabric, up a shoulder and neck before feeling sharp cheekbones under his fingers and suddenly digging jagged fingernails – he unconsciously chews on them almost daily; a nervous habit developed as an awkward teenager he'd never quite been able to kick – into the soft flesh beneath them and dragging downwards swiftly, causing his attacker to let out a startled, pained cry, laced with harsh, alien clicks of a ropey tongue against strong teeth that don't promise good things, just as cool liquid rushes over his fingers, accompanied by a slight burning sensation; his head is released moments after and he immediately peers down at his hand, mentally – or so he assumes, but he wouldn't be surprised if he was talking aloud; he'd never quite managed to kick that habit either – noting that the liquid is a deep emerald color, and it's with a curious stomach jolt that Dib realized it's Zim's blood on his hands; a feeling that only solidifies when he spots the Irken standing nearby, a hateful glare aimed at the human that can only be seen on one half of the alien's face, because Zim's hands are pressed tightly to the other half in a fruitless attempt to stop the blood that's dripping between his clenched fingers at an alarmingly fast rate.
17. Food :: It's just a snippet of conversation that floats across the surprisingly quiet cafeteria – quiet except for the Dib-beast's ridiculously loud and manic screeching – and while Zim usually prefers not to listen in on Dib's pointless lunchtime conversations, there's something about the way that the inferior pig-stink is practically sighing the word "aliens", all full of wonder and some other foolish human emotion that the almighty Zim has no time or use for that makes the Irken pause in his route towards disposing of his untouched, disgusting human filth that passes as life-sustaining matter in this horrible Skool place and tilt his head slightly towards the large-headed human's enthusiastic ramblings, his sensitive antenna perking under his ingenious wig in order to catch more of the insane but also somewhat slightly interesting words spewing from Dib's noise tube, though there really is no need, because even the highly deaf and dull-witted Plooghflork would be able to hear the smelly, foolish human's insistent shrieking – probably from their own planet, too.
11. Earth :: "Foolish Dib-thing?" the insult falls from the Irken's lips naturally and unconsciously – he's always made fun of the human, no reason to stop now – and it causes Dib to turn his head towards the alien in interest, shivering slightly when a short burst of wind slides over the exposed flesh on his scalp, somewhat damp from laying on the dewy grass, but he pays it no mind when he realizes that Zim's arm is pointing towards some obscure point far away in the clear night sky, so Dib raises an eyebrow and waits for Zim to continue, which he does with, "When I finally destroy this pathetic ball of filth," Dib rolls his eyes but doesn't interrupt, "That's where we're going to live."; Dib settles back onto the grass and sighs, "Yeah, okay Zim," with fond exasperation.
47. Water :: Zim feels his lips curl up into a sneer, his eyes narrowing at the absolute stupidity and disgustingness of the smelly pig-humans splashing in the algae green water of the city's public swimming pool, which Ms. Bitter's class is currently on an end-of-the-year fieldtrip at when he suddenly becomes aware of a familiar presence lurking behind him; he turns swiftly, his booted heel squeaking on the wet tile, grabbing the pale human by his wrist and dragging him forward, ignoring the indignant "Hey!" that leaps from Dib's throat as Zim hefts the boy over his head with a minimum of effort, stalking towards the pool as his grip tightens on the squirming human, and when he reaches the edge of the abnormally colored water, he grins up at Dib and then unceremoniously drops him, not moving away until the human rises to the surface, spluttering and coughing and glaring at the retreating alien's back with every ounce of anger he can muster.
18. Foot :: The cool, slightly rancid substance slides down Dib's throat and he drops the tube with a gasp, barely hearing the glass hit the carpet with a dull 'thunk' as a burning sensation spreads through his rapidly transforming bologna body, and he allows himself to hope, until that hope is cruelly crushed by the loud popping of his boot stitching ripping apart as he expands even more, and the widening of Zim's eyes is not a good sign, so with a cry, Dib launches – well, more like waddles, because his legs are almost nonexistent – himself at the alien, just knowing that he had furthered Dib's progress into bologna on purpose; it isn't until much later, when Zim somehow manages to work some alien magic with his PAK and with some help from Dib's 'inferior human technology' – though the Irken will deny it if asked, claiming that he had done it all himself – to reverse the effects of Zim's prank gone wrong that the human realizes that as opposed to his own clothing just popping off as he got bigger and more deformed, Zim's had just sort of mutated to refit the alien's form until they had been absorbed into the Irken's body, and while the thought grosses Dib out, it's also strangely fascinating, so he stores it in his memory's databanks in case he ever needs it later, although he highly doubts he will.
35. Roses :: Bright red flashes in front of his eyes for a second, quickly followed by a brief glimpse of a familiar green, before it vanishes in a blink, leaving him blinded by the bouquet he's been handed, a fragrant smell drifting up from the flowers, soon becoming disorienting, and he begins to feel as though he's floating out of his body, watching over everything as though he's sitting on the clouds; a heavy weight on his arm sends him crashing back into reality, and he pokes his head around the flowers to peer down at the short alien who's standing before him with an unreadable look on his face, and before Dib can ask Zim what on Earth he doused the flowers with, the alien launches into an overly long and unnecessarily loud – although really, Zim usually talks at this level; maybe it's a 'whatever Zim's race was' thing – explanation about what this so called "internet" had told him about how the thorns on the flowers were poisoned and how he hoped the human would prick his finger on one and then die so he couldn't ruin any more of the almighty Zim's fabulous plans to destroy the Earth and it actually makes a strange sort of sense – in the same convoluted way that all of Zim's explanations make sense – except for the fact that Zim is completely wrong about almost every aspect of Sleeping Beauty, and also because the flowers had come from a shop – as apparent by the obnoxious tag hanging from satin, colored ribbon tied around the crisp, clear plastic that surround the flower stems, obviously professionally done – so the roses had been de-thorned.
26. Lost :: "Hey… has anyone else noticed that Zim's been gone for four days now?" It shouldn't surprise Dib that the second after he says something about Zim not showing up that the little green alien comes stomping through the classroom door, his wig slightly askew and his claws clenched into impossibly tight fists, but nonetheless, Dib still jumps, and he's about to sneer something at Zim when the alien suddenly stalks over to him, muttering unintelligible words under his breath – though Dib catches something about GIR, taxis, and Mexico – and then the alien leans closer, violet eyes narrowed at the large-headed human – maybe it should be weird that Zim walked over to Dib first instead of sitting at his desk, but they were always interrupting class to start some sort of drama, so none of their classmates even blinked in the pair's direction, and Ms. Bitters didn't stop her lecture about how eating salads will cause the world to explode – and Dib realizes that Zim's skin is peeling and flaking, and the thought that the alien could be sunburned sends a bubble of hysterical laughter into Dib's throat, escaping before he notices, and then it's too late to stop; perhaps, if the human hadn't been so preoccupied with laughing at Zim's misfortune, he would have seen the gloved palm flying towards his face, and he also would have seen the satisfied grin that graces the Irken's face – even as the alien winces from the movement of his injured skin – as his hands connects with Dib's pale cheek, sending the human's glasses skittering across the tile floor loudly, and it's with a perverse pleasure that Zim steps on them as he walks across the classroom, feeling the glass crunch under his boot and watching Dib as the boy's amber eyes open wide at the sound, and Zim slides into his seat, feeling the knots of tension in his shoulders that had been building ever since he had taken GIR on that horrible walk in the city loosen and slowly fall apart at the sight of Dib's visible despair.
16. Flying :: 'This isn't fair,' Dib thinks to himself, snarling behind the glass of his space helmet as he yanks the controls sharply to the left to avoid the large chunk of rock that was heading right towards him, sending the planet whirling upside down and jolting his stomach up into his throat; when he finally gets upright, his face is a rather startling shade of green, but he just swallows the bile that rose and glares at the giant orange rock meandering nonchalantly towards Earth that he's rapidly approaching, and Dib doesn't know what Zim's plan is but he's sure it can be good, so it's up to Dib to stop him and singlehandedly save all of humanity (again), but even as he grits his teeth and urges his planet-turned-super-secret-advanced-spaceship to go faster, he can't help but think angrily to himself, 'I'm finally here out in space, where I've always wanted to be, and I can't even enjoy it because I have to go keep Zim from destroying the Earth. That jerk.'
12. End :: "I've got you now, Zim! I will find you and capture you, no matter where you run!" The words hit some sort of primal urge hidden in Zim, and a pulse of energy jolts through him as he skids to a stop on the concrete, spinning slowly as he crouches and moves further into the shadows of a nearby alleyway, his crimson eyes glowing with righteous anger and a hint of fear, even as he pushes himself deeper in between the two brick buildings, only stopping when his PAK hits the back wall, and he slowly and cautiously extends his PAK legs to begin to scale the wall and land on the other side, where he will then run as fast as he can out of town, away from the large mob led by the psychotic Dib-human that's after him because they somehow saw through his brilliant disguise and realized that he was, in fact, an alien, and now they're trying to capture him and strap him to an autopsy table so they can dissect him for all the world to see, but when Zim silently hits the soft dirt that lay outside of the wall surrounding the town, he scurries away, into the dense forest, the thorns and bristles of the indigenous foliage scratching and poking and nicking his delicate alien skin, he swears to himself that he'll hit the self destruct button every Irken is equipped with and vaporize himself before he'll ever let himself be captured; they already took GIR and his base, they're not taking him too; he is the mighty Irken Invader Zim, and he will not be degraded into nothing more than a pathetic humans' science experiment.
19. Grave :: It's nothing special, just a rounded hunk of stone stuck into the ground over a body that's more than likely nothing more than bones – if that – at this point, but still, he visits it religiously every year, marking the spot with large, brightly colored flowers that he knows will be either stolen or destroyed by the next day – he's lived here long enough to know that that's how everything is in this town – but he brings them anyway, and he sits in the hard dirt and whispers words under his breath, asking questions and telling stories and once, only once, even laughing, and it's quiet but it cuts through the graveyard like a knife, startling the green and pink figure that's hovering awkwardly nearby, close enough to be seen but far enough away to not be a bother, and the boy – very nearly a man, but not quite – as if sensing the other person's presence, looks up and cocks his head at the figure, but he doesn't say anything, and after awhile goes back to talking with the stone, and the figure slinks away, watching the boy curiously as it flutters graceful claws over the small red button that's sitting on its right forearm – a small red button labeled 'self destruct' – not with any intention of pushing it but just exploring, glancing back and forth between the two – the boy and the button – and after some deliberation, it seemingly comes to a realization, as then turns its back and walks out through the creaking gate that's unusually silent this evening, as if it knows that something monumental just occurred; it's only after the figure leaves – a quick glance around the graveyard and the absence of green and pink alert him to this – that the boy leans forward and whispers, as though sharing a great secret, "That's Zim, mom. He's the alien I told you about."
22. Hollow :: A sharp knock on the head is all the warning he gets before a familiar green figure fills his vision, its face upside down and turned towards the side as a clawed hand is placed gently on top of his head and a contemplative sounding "Hmm…" is murmured into Dib's sensitive human ear before the figure vanishes over the gleaming metal frame of the top bunk bed and a series of serious sounding clicks and beeps float down towards where the curious and slightly miffed Dib is still sitting, his legs thrown over the edge, giving him easy access to stand – barely managing to miss clipping his head on the top bunk – and peer over the thick railing at the figure that's sitting with his back against the wall, a stylus in his hand that he's tapping against the clear, pink tablet he's holding, and Dib turns his head upside down to peer underneath and see what Zim is doing, but the next second the alien frowns at the tablet and then tosses it to the side, pushing himself onto his knees and scooting towards the human, and Dib just smiles indulgently, waiting for an inevitable statement that's going to shoot from Zim's mouth any second now, and he isn't disappointed; "I have concluded, Dib-thing, that your head is unnecessarily large," and Dib raises an eyebrow and opens his mouth to protest, but is cut off by the Irken continuing with his explanation, "Your brain is not using all of the room that the space inside of your head offers, because the sound echoes when I knock, and as such, there is absolutely no reason for your head to be as big as it is," and here Zim frowns again, the tips of his fingers coming together up where his nose would be if he was human, and he sounds genuinely confused when he finishes with, "I do not understand why your parents gave you such an extremely gigantic head. It makes no sense."
39. Solid :: Not even seconds after Zim is finished telling Dib's scary younger sister that there's no way to open the containment chamber the pathetic Dib-monkey is stored in, her foot hits the unbreakable outer shell with a deadly accurate 'clink', and it's a tense few moments before the glass starts to crack and break, and Zim can only stand and stare with wide-open crimson eyes until the liquid rushing out of the remains of the chamber hit him in a sudden wave, knocking him over and completely destroying the rest of the room; when he stands, clothes and face dripping wet and a fierce scowl on his face, the room is empty of both Dib and his infuriating younger sister, and Zim doesn't even feel his hands clench into tight fists as a surge of anger of possessiveness flows through him; that was his Dib-human, that he captured, so what right does that foolish little girl have to steal him away from Zim?
21. Head :: "I hate you so much Zim," is hissed into the surprisingly soft fabric of the shirt covering the Irken's shoulder, and Zim laughs, a short, amused laugh as he replies, "Yes Dib-thing, I know. I hate you too," and Dib looks up at that, his eyes narrowed behind his cracked glasses, his right eye blinking frantically in order to clean out the blood that's dripping into it from the large gash across his forehead, and Zim takes the opportunity to lean forward and run his segmented tongue across the bleeding scratch, barely refraining from flinching at the burning sensation that accompanies the cautious taste – 'Dear Irk, does every fluid these foolish humans have burn and sting me?' – but Dib still catches the telltale movement of the exposed antennae on top of Zim's head, and he barks a laugh not unlike Zim's from earlier, and then he leans forward, placing his forehead against the Irken's in open invitation, and no sooner does he that there are soft, feathery, exploratory appendages caressing the exposed flesh on his face and scalp, and like always, it tickles, so Dib hides his slight giggle behind a cough, but he can feel Zim's amusement in the way the antennae are suddenly less soft and more directed, and Dib can't keep his laughter in even if he tried – which, admittedly, he doesn't; not very hard, at least.
30. Peace :: "If you lay another hand on me – no, scratch that, they're not hands, they're claws; you're a monster, you're not civilized enough for hands, you -!" Perhaps the foolish Dib-monkey doesn't realize it, but the punch that Zim had just bestowed upon the human's face was not actually all that rough or strong or anything of the sort; as a matter of fact, it was the type of punch that the humans would refer to as "teasing", or "affectionate" – although Zim doesn't particularly trust the humans' definitions of things like "affection" because even now, he can't look at anything associated with meat – especially that horrible Deelishus Weenie place that he had to walk by every day to get to his base – without feeling a prominent shudder of disgust; that horrible Tak had ruined it for him – and if Dib was an Irken – or if Irkens even indulged in such foolish things as being "affectionate" – it wouldn't have hurt at all; however, Zim decided to conveniently 'forget' the fact that Irkens are much stronger than the pitiful humans, and hadn't tampered the strength of his punch at all to compensate for the fact that Dib is human; as far as Zim was concerned, if he was being kind enough to let the pathetic Dib-monkey into his personal lab and use his highly advanced technology in order to keep the Earth from being destroyed by an alien race who was not Zim – again – then the least the human could do would be to move out of Zim's way without Zim having to resort to pushing him aside like a foolish, uncultured Earth child.
43. Summer :: It's been months since the hideous Poop Dog had lied to him about the mystery prize, and although the long days he'd spent selling the filthy Earth candy had been hot, they weren't anything compared to the horrible raging inferno that encompassed him now; his wig and contacts felt like they were being seared into his skin, and there was an ever present burning sensation crawling all along his flesh that made him feel as though he was being cooked alive, domed to die a total failure on this miserable backwater planet because he had literally been fried – a sudden stinging sensation starts to creep along his face, and with a snarl, Zim spins around to face the snickering large-headed human, opening his mouth to shout before he realizes that the burning of the juice on his skin is cooler than the burning of the sun; instead of yelling at Dib, the alien just reaches forward, plucks the juice box from Dib's hand with a triumphant grin and runs off, leaving a very confused and juiceless human standing alone in the scorching heat.
32. Pretty :: "…and then, he had the nerve to stand up and lie, in front of the whole class, not that Zim doesn't do that anyway, but, just, ARGH, and called me crazy, as if I wasn't totally right, and everyone believed him, even though he was obviously wron-!" A warm, dainty hand is suddenly grabbing onto one of his frantically gesturing ones, and it surprises him so much that he cuts himself off mid-word, startled amber eyes blinking quickly behind wide glasses, and stares questioningly at the woman across the table; she slowly lets go of his hand and stands gracefully from her chair, large brown eyes narrowed even as she smiles tightly at the paranormal investigator and says, softly, her voice dripping with disappointment, "Dib, I really like you, and I'm sure you're a nice guy and at least have an inkling of feelings for me or you wouldn't have accepted my date offer, but this just isn't going to work between us," before dropping her napkin softly on the table and walking away and out of the restaurant, her heels clicking delicately on the tile floor as Dib stares after her retreating figure blankly, trying to process what happened.
37. Snakes :: Perhaps he should have expected it more than he did; perhaps he should have been more aware of his surroundings, more aware that something wasn't right, more aware that the hissing sound of moving grass didn't sound quite right for it to be cast off as the sound of a harmless garden snake slithering, but he had cast it off, and now he was going to pay for his mistake, for his unawareness, because he was pinned up against the wall by a strong metal spider leg against his chest and throat, constricting his breathing until he was wheezing and coughing, clawing desperately at the leg and glaring with everything he had at the short alien from which the leg was protruding from, the short alien who, for his part, looked extremely uninterested in the whole thing – he finally had his most hated enemy cornered and defeated, and he wasn't shouting or cheering or anything, he was just standing there – and it was this, the fact that he wasn't celebrating at all, that he just looked so bored, that angered Dib the most.
34. Regret :: 'No no no no no!' Dib thought to himself, squirming in the alien's chokehold, fingernails trying fruitlessly to get a grip on the leg, his boots kicking at the brick wall behind him as his vision started to darken and blur, and his gasping became lighter, more frantic, his lungs unable to expand against the tightening pressure on his chest, but even he felt himself beginning to fall prey to unconsciousness, he just knew that something wasn't right, something was wrong with this scene, this wasn't how it was supposed to go-!
25. Light :: "Foolish Dib-human, if you do not open your pathetic human eyes and remove yourself from the almighty Zim's person at once, I'll tell GIR to eat your brain!" a familiar hissing close to his ear causes Dib to crack open one eye with a groan, his head pounding, and what little he can see is just blurred green, with a large crimson blob on one side of the green, and Dib jolts up almost instantly, wincing at the brightness of the room and blinking furiously, finally sighing when his vision fixes itself and reveals to him that the blur is nothing more than Zim, looking annoyed, leaning over him with his hands on his hips, tapping his foot in an agitated manner and peering at him through narrowed red eyes, his lips pursed in an irritated frown, and the scene fills Dib with such a surging feeling of relief – it was only a dream, oh god, it was only a dream – that he launches himself forward at the shorter alien with a cry, knocking them both onto the cold floor of the lab as Zim chirps in surprise, rolling in midair so that he lands on top of the human and not the hard tile, glaring irritably at Dib and opening his mouth to complain, but the long arms winding around his shoulders startle him, and he shuts his jaw with an audible click, instead blinking down at the human whose head is buried in Zim's shoulder and asking suspiciously, "What on Irk is wrong you?"
29. Old :: Sometimes – pretty much all of the time, actually – Dib forgets that Zim is hundreds of Earth years old, because he's so Zim; he's foolish and loud and clumsy and airheaded and absolutely terrible at doing anything other than failing at taking over the world, or at least that's what Dib always thought but unless there, sitting on the other side of the table, quite calmly eating some sort of Irken snacking stick that reminded Dib vaguely of Fun Dip, was an imposter, than Zim was apparently actually good at something else; "You mean you singlehandedly ruined the entire Operation Impending Doom?" Dib asks, his eyebrows raising almost to his hairline, but Zim shakes his head, removes his snacking stick from his mouth and replies with a smirk and wagging finger, "That might be what The Almighty Tallest say, but let me tell you, I made those fires BETTER."
48. Welcome :: Muttered curses fall from his mouth under his breath as he walks down the street towards the oddly green glowing house at the end of the cul-de-sac, his feet dragging on the sidewalk even as he moves forward, and it's with a sense of dread that he knocks on the front door – thanking whatever's out there that the gnomes didn't attack him – and stares suspiciously at the Men's Room sign as a series of loud thunks and screams are heard through the door, and he can't decide whether to be afraid or curious about what's going on inside of Zim's house, so he's filled with trepidation when the door open of seemingly its own accord and nothing pops out at him; that is, until he steps forward into the empty room and Zim's crazy robot jumps up from the large pile of what appear to be packing peanuts – 'Packing peanuts?' Dib thinks to himself with amusement; 'Since when do advanced alien races use packing peanuts?' – sitting in the corner of the room and immediately latches onto Dib's arm and yells right in his ear, "HI BIG HEAD BOY!" causing Dib to let out a shriek and for him to be completely unaware of the alien that's standing in the doorway until a sudden hand lands on his shoulder and drags him backwards into the kitchen, tossing him into a chair with little care, and Zim glares at the wincing Dib as though it's his fault their teacher assigned them to be partners for this ridiculous project.
50. Wood :: If there was one thing that Dib disliked about his father being a scientist, it was that he saw no need to do anything the old fashioned way – "If you can do it faster, easier, and more safely – except for if something goes wrong of course – with chemicals than not, why do it without?" – and most of the time, Dib understood exactly where his father was coming from and agreed with him wholeheartedly, but this was something that he'd wanted to do, ever since he was a kid, but his dad had refused, absolutely no way no how was that happening in his house, so it was with a steely glint of determination in his eye that Dib marched into the forest one summer night, finding a clearing to settle in and grabbing the bag of marshmallows that he'd swiped from Gaz's secret stash – making a mental note to replace them as soon as possible, lest she find out he took them and happily destroy him – out of the pack full of supplies he'd taken with him, opening them and popping one into his mouth as he wandered around the clearing to find suitable sticks for a campfire, paying no mind to the constant sound and movement of the forest until he heard a decidedly unnatural sound, and he clenched his teeth when his suspicions were confirmed correct by a confused sounding, "Dib-human?" from behind him.
27. Metal :: "Zim," Dib sighed, turning slowly as he sighed, rolling his eyes upwards as he mentally wondered who was controlling the universe that hated him so much, but when he turned fully around, he blinked in confusion, his eyebrow furrowed as he surveyed the empty space, because he could have sworn that he heard the alien's voice, but a sudden shadow emerges from behind a tree, stepping into the moonlit clearing, and Dib feels his eyebrows raise almost off of his forehead at the picture Zim presents; the alien is covered head to toe in tiny nicks and scratches, as though he had been running through the forest without dodging any branches, and when Dib steps closer, he realizes that what he thought was wood in the Irken's arms is actually the remains of the thin metal spider legs that that he keeps in his PAK, and it's with a stomach clench that Dib actually starts to listen to the sounds of the forest – or rather, the lack thereof, because what had once been the rustling of bushes and the chirps of crickets is now utter silence, and when he looks at Zim, the alien is staring at him, his red eyes fiercely narrowed, and he grabs the front of Dib's coat and pulls himself up to hiss in the human's ear, "You're going to die by my hands, you're not allowed to die now, not because of them, so you have to leave."
40. Spring :: Dib is confused and angry and slightly terrified, because the alien sounded dead serious in a way that the human had never heard before, so he doesn't resist until he gets pushed by deceptively strong hands and hits the ground face first, glasses protecting his eyes even as they dig into the bridge of his nose and springy moss lessening the blow to the rest of his body, but he rolls over and stares at Zim in surprise, the alien standing in front of him protectively, and all Dib can see is a shadow, a very large, intimidating shadow, but there Zim is, standing as tall as he can and exuding confidence in a way that Dib finds strangely inspiring – he's never seen this side of Zim before, not in all of the years he's known him – but Dib knows in his heart, with unwavering certainty, that no matter what Zim says or what he looks like, he's going to die here, against this faceless, nameless creature, and with a surge of possession Dib rises slowly off the ground from behind the alien, a bit woozy from his fall, and he feels the alien tense, his sensitive antennae picking up the sound of Dib standing, but he doesn't say anything, doesn't make any indication that he's aware of anything other the giant creature before him, so Dib slowly and carefully leans forward, his glasses glinting in the slight moonlight, and whispers softly into the soft skin of the alien's neck, "If you think I'm going to let you fight this thing on your own, Zim, you're wrong, because it'll destroy you, and you're mine, and mine alone, to destroy; don't forget that."