A/N: Hello! This is my first story so write a review! If anything confuses you please PM me!
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Alice. Dead. Edward. Dead. Me. Vampire; that's close enough to being dead isn't it?

What can I do? Before compared to this was nothing. How do I live on? He was my every thing, my prince charming, or should I say vampire charming, I snorted at myself. I was being stupid I knew I wouldn't live mentally after this I would go back to my empty shell. But I need to look to the future for Charlie's sake not mine, Jake, he would be happy to see me home, ecstatic even. But I could never go back to how it was he was gone and he was defiantly not coming back this time. He went and got himself killed. I want to do the same.

I started thinking about all the 'What Ifs'.

What if I was fast enough?

What if I hadn't jumped of the cliff?

I knew this wouldn't help me but it would keep my focus off of Edward. So I started answering my own questions.

Alice would be alive and be her normal bubbly and happy self if I could have got to him fast enough, none of this would have happened if I didn't jump off that stupid cliff.

I slid to a halt my anger rising minute by minute as I felt the minor itching in my throat; I needed to hunt.

I had so far managed to stay out of the way of all humans. But I was a vampire now so I had to survive on something. I sniffed the air feeling like an idiot as I did so. I caught the smell of three dear drinking out of a small stream a couple of miles out. I let my instincts take over and I ran and stealthily pounced on the largest of the deer sinking my teeth into its warm blood stream.

All too quickly it was over and I threw the carcass to the side smelling the air once again.

When I had drunken my fill of deer and one small bear, I sat on a driftwood log and looked back on the good old days before he left me. I remember the first time this smooth, cold, marble lips touched mine as if it was yesterday.

Flashback,

I couldn't breathe.

He hesitated – not in the normal way, the human way.

Not the way a man might hesitate before he kissed a woman, to gauge her reaction, to see how he would be received. Perhaps he would hesitate to prolong the moment, that ideal moment of anticipation sometimes better than the kiss itself.

Edward hesitated to test himself, to see if this was safe, to make sure he was still in control of his need.

And then his cold, marble lips pressed very softly against mine.

And the very first time I visited the house to meet all the Cullen's.

Flashback,

He opened the door for me.

The inside was even more surprising, less predictable, than the exterior. It was very bright, very open, and vey large. This must have been originally several rooms, but the walls had been removed fro most of the first floor to create one wide space. The back, south-facing wall had been entirely replaced with glass, and, beyond the shade of the cedars, the lawn stretched bare to the wide river. A massive curving staircase dominated the west side of the room. The walls, the high beamed ceiling,, the wooden floors, and the thick carpets were all varying shade of white.

Waiting to greet us, standing just to the left of the door on a raise portion of the floor by a spectacular grand piano, were Edwards parents.

Thinking about the rest of the Cullen's made me realise something. They didn't know about Alice and Edward. How I had got them killed, I felt venom pool in my eyes making to known to me how I could never cry again. I wanted to break down then and there but I knew I had to do something first before I went off on my own; I was going to find the rest of the Cullen family, I didn't care how long it took. They needed to know they're son and daughter died.

If I have a single regret as being a vampire, it's that I should have killed the Volturi before they got him and Alice.

A/N Thankyou for Reading ... Review? - Shana