I'm too tired to fight
As I lay here in my bed.
I know it's foolish to think of you tonight.
For one brief thought, choosing pain instead.
And every time I do this,
I shake inside my core.
Images of you erase the numb,
But oh my god I want you so much more.
For minutes, without pain, I will remember -
Inside my head your mouth does lie.
And to your glory I will surrender
Though I've already said my last good-bye.
So you pull away and change into nothing.
I slump back and await my defeat.
My eyes, they burn, they prick, they sting,
Curling up, pains of flame without the heat.
The hole inside rips wide like a mocking window,
But I wonder if I can even call it pain.
Because without the balance of happiness I don't know
Anything but the constant of 'again.'
~*~
I miss you.