Starcrossed (Part 1)
by BrDPirateMan
"Booyah! It's Saturday!"
Beat's especially loud voice rang out through the streets. A few people turned to stare at the sight of a slightly crazy boy yelling for the world to hear, but he didn't care. He was happy that another grueling week of school had gone by.
Though, yeah, it was embarrassing to say the least.
"Beat, stop shouting, man," I groaned.
"Yeah," agreed Eri, a palm on her forehead. "I mean, we're in a public place and all."
"But we just had a buncha tests this week, yo!" Beat said, "You know how much I hate exams, man!"
Eri heaved an exasperated sigh. "That's still no valid reason to shout like a maniac, Beat…"
As stupid as the whole situation was, I was actually glad on the inside that I had the opportunity to hang out with such wonderful friends. There was the resident motor-mouth Beat, whose love for curry knew no bounds. His little sister Rhyme was sweet, precocious and was always ready to help people in need. And as popular as dude magnet Eri was, thanks in no small part to her good looks and awe-inspiring clothes, she wasn't stuck-up and had a great personality too.
But the person whom I enjoyed being around with the most was Shiki. At a glance most would describe her as an ordinary-looking girl. But when I got to know her I was struck by her inner self which, while not perfect, was pleasant and endearing. Thanks to her experience with me in the UG, she changed herself for the better, her confidence now boosted and her head held high. That was probably why I grew more and more attracted to her…
This was a girl I knew I really, really liked. To heck with those didn't think much of her. Sure, compared with her best friend Eri she wasn't as beautiful, but she most definitely was not ugly at all. Beneath those oversized glasses and the unassuming clothes she was fond of, she was awfully cute.
We had known each other for a good while now, about half a year to be exact. There was never a time when she wasn't at ease with me, and I was confident that she harboured some feelings for me, as did I for her. One of these days, I promised myself, I would tell her what I truly felt for her. But try as I might, getting myself to say those three magic words had proven to be a big challenge. Because every time I found the courage, it would be hopelessly crushed to a pulp just before the moment of truth. I seriously wondered when we could finally be together.
Little did I know that time was running out…
"Hey, Neku," asked Rhyme, interrupting my train of thoughts. "Where's Shiki?"
"Oh yeah, that…" I said, scratching the back of my head, "Well, she can't make it today. She said we should carry on without her."
"What?" Beat looked disappointed. "Aw, man! I was hoping for the five of us to go watch that awesome movie together… I mean, it's Saturday and all…"
"I didn't know about this," said Eri, fiddling with her pink hair, something she always did. "She didn't tell me… Did something happen?" Her voice was one of genuine concern. Anything about her bosom buddy was of utmost importance to her.
"Shiki asked me to tell you guys…" I paused for a few seconds before telling the whole story.
XOXOXOXOXO
It was Friday and classes had ended for the day, with students rushing out of the school compounds welcoming the weekend with open arms. Beat tore down the sidewalk on his battered but trusty skateboard, hurrying to fetch his sister Rhyme from her school. Eri couldn't hang around at all either; her strict parents would freak if she returned home too late.
Shiki and I were the only ones taking it slow and easy. I was walking her back home, having fun talking to her about the hilarious things that happened throughout the week. Her laughter was music to my ears. She was so adorable.
All of our friends had long scattered, and the streets of Shibuya were pretty unpopulated save for a few souls. Everyone was at home or in restaurants busy tucking into their lunch, and with practically nobody around, I was tempted to drape an arm around Shiki's shoulder… That would be nice. I was sure she would like it too.
Before I could even move my arm, however, Shiki turned to me and spoke.
"Hey, Neku, um… I almost forgot to tell you something."
"What is it, Shiki?"
The ghost of a frown marred her pretty face. "You know how we all agreed to meet up tomorrow? To watch Samurai Squad?"
"Yeah… What about it?" I wasn't comfortable with the sudden change in her mood. What was it that she had to say?
"Well," she said, chewing her bottom lip a little, "It turns out that I've got an appointment to see the doctor tomorrow… so I'm sorry but I don't think I'll be able to come with you guys. You go on ahead without me."
The doctor? For what purpose?
"Oh well, things aren't the same without you," I sighed, a bit sad. "But it can't be helped… So you just do what you need to do, Shiki. I'll tell the others."
"Yes, please do."
I shoved my hands deep into my pockets. "Is it anything serious?" I asked, "This is kinda sudden."
Shiki averted my gaze by looking at the ground. Her voice came out soft and barely audible. "I… I don't know…"
What? That piqued my curiosity, put me on high alert. That tone of voice certainly wasn't something she normally used. Of course I never expected anyone to be happy all the time, but the fact that she seemed sad was troubling. And if she was, I wanted to comfort her as best as I could.
I stood before her and placed my hands on her shoulders. She gasped, looking up at me sharply. I had never touched her like that before, and the effect of my sudden action was obvious on her. She was starting to blush, and for that matter, so was I…
"Shiki, um…" I started to say, noting that she was trembling very slightly under my fingertips. "If there's anything wrong, you can tell me."
"Oh, well, it's nothing serious." The redness on her face was deepening. She looked cute like this, I had to admit…
"Are you sure? But you seemed down, you know."
She put on a forced smile. It was convincing for the most part but it was still a forced smile. I could tell. "No, it's nothing at all," she said, "Just a routine medical check-up.
"But, Neku…" Shiki had this dewy look in her eyes as she looked straight into mine. "I'm so glad you're concerned about my welfare."
My heart thumped against my ribcage. To be complimented by the girl of my dreams was great. "Well, just be sure the doctor's not perverted," I joked, "and if he is, tell me and I'll go right over and kick his butt!"
Shiki giggled. Her melodious voice made me feel a little better. For a moment, even for a few seconds, the world seemed alright again. "Thanks, Neku. But I'll be okay. Now come on, let's get back home."
XOXOXOXOXO
"Oh, so that's what's going on," said a nodding Eri when I had finished. "She's gone for a check-up."
"Well, at least it's nothing to be worried about!" sighed Rhyme in relief. "For a moment there, I thought something terrible happened to her… touch wood!"
Beat scratched the back of his head absent-mindedly. "Aight, but then… what happens now? You sure she okay about us goin' ahead without her?"
"She did say that herself," I said, shrugging a little.
"Still, the jigsaw ain't complete," Eri piped up in a moment of poetic inspiration. How fitting it was.
That was how only the four of us took our places in the darkened cinema, waiting impatiently for all those unnecessary advertisements to finish so that we could finally get down to watching Samurai Squad.
Then a confused Beat whispered to us urgently. "So then, after we watch the movie, do we tell Shiki about it, or jus' keep quiet so we don't spoil the surprise? Yo?"
That was kind of a good question. I did feel guilty enjoying myself when I knew clearly well that Shiki was at the doctor's. The atmosphere just was not the same without even one of us, and as a result, while the action-packed, katana-laden movie was exciting, it didn't feel as fun.
XOXOXOXOXO
Shiki's words echoed in my mind. I… I don't know…
She had tried to act all nonchalant and relaxed when she said that, but I had known her long enough for my gut feeling to tell me that something was amiss. Something was wrong, but she couldn't bring herself to fill me in on the details. I was growing worried to the point where all I could think of was her and nothing else. That was when I knew that I simply had to talk to her.
But all that I heard at the other end of the line when I called her was the dial tone.
Perhaps she had left her cell phone off, I had reasoned. But then it soon dawned on me that she simply wasn't answering. For what reason, I didn't know…
…but I had to find out soon.
XOXOXOXOXO
Blue Monday. No one likes Mondays. This one was no exception. Everyone came to school grumpy and groggy, wishing for those extra ten minutes of sleep their parents would never grant them.
However, for me it was a different story. I was actually eager to come. Not because I suddenly and inexplicably developed a liking for classes; for one thing, I didn't like Ms Kanako, the slave driver of a math teacher.
But I had tried to call Shiki the whole of yesterday without any luck so I figured that the only way I could get any information out of her was to see her directly. She would have to come for classes, right?
As luck would have it, she didn't come.
Her seat lay empty and horribly bare. My friends were puzzled. Beat, Eri and I were hanging around her seat during recess.
"I wonder what's happened to her," mused Eri, seating herself on top of Shiki's desk, her legs dangling in mid-air as she languidly swung them to and fro.
Beat, being one not to overanalyze things, simply said, "Well, maybe she's jus' home sick, ya know?"
"Yeah, that's probably it," came my absent-minded reply. Sometimes I wished I could have Beat's simple way of thinking. That way, I wouldn't need to be so worried.
No matter how much I tried to convince myself that one day off from school simply wasn't enough to show that something was wrong, I could only think otherwise. Try as I might, the dreadful feeling weighed down stubbornly on my shoulders.
Eri clapped a hand on my shoulder, startling me. "Hey," she said, "You all right, Neku?"
"Wha? Oh, of course I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
"You look like you have a lot on your mind," said Eri sagely. Then a wide cheeky smile started to spread on her lips. "I'll bet it's got something to do with Shiki."
Damn, she saw right through me! "What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded. Beat was chuckling softly at my reaction. Was I blushing? "Why would you think that anyway?"
"Because you're her husband?" Eri looked off to the skies nonchalantly, acting innocent as ever.
"Husband? Wait, wait, we're not even going out. We're just – "
"Aw come on, man," guffawed Beat, "It's so obvious, yo. The way you look at her… anybody can see you like her."
This wasn't the first time my friends made fun of me about Shiki. The truth is while I did have feelings for her, it just was too embarrassing letting said feelings be known to all. My secret crush on Shiki would remain as that – a secret – until the time was right.
Beat's laughter, coupled with Eri's giggling, was getting annoying. So I did the one thing that he hated the most…
"Hey, can it, Daisukenojo."
"BWAAAH! Whatchu say, yo!" he spluttered, "Dontchu say my real name!"
I ended up getting a noogie on my head as he held me in a headlock. Eri, in the meantime, only laughed harder at the comical situation that unfolded before her. Oh well, at least Shiki wasn't the central topic now.
"Okay, let's all settle down," Eri gasped, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. "But seriously, I'm concerned about Shiki." She frowned and her face turned serious all of a sudden. "I tried calling her just now, but she didn't answer."
Beat released me from his stifling grip. As I gasped for much-needed air, he said, "You did? The girl forgot to turn on her cell, right? That's prolly it, yo."
Again, I wished things were that simple.
XOXOXOXOXO
Shiki's seat was vacant the next day. It remained empty on Wednesday and Thursday, and she was still nowhere to be seen by the end of the day on Friday.
As my mind repeatedly conjured up horrible thoughts about her fate, my whole body seemed to slow down and weaken from the stress of intense worry. More than once I thought that it might have been possible that she had died, and the reason she was missing was because she was participating in the Reapers' Game… again. Then I would tell myself, No, that's ridiculous. Shiki isn't that weak. She's a strong girl. Still, I needed confirmation that she was fine, that she was alive and well, but with every phone call I made that went unanswered, my sanity slipped away little by little.
She just didn't want to pick up the darn phone! My heart was mired in a sludge of emotions: worry, frustration, sadness…
Eri stared at Shiki's vacant chair at school and shook her head in dismay. It must be painful being ignored by her own best friend, a fact I could more or less confirm from the way she sighed so heavily.
Beat and Rhyme were affected too. With Shiki's situation currently unknown and unknowable, there was nothing either of the Bito siblings could do to alleviate the gloom that hung over all of us like a thundercloud. Beat was usually the one who cracked the jokes, and while they weren't smart most of the time, the way he guffawed at his own brand of poor humour was so infectious that it was impossible not to laugh together with him.
Crippled by anxiety, however, Beat hardly had the wits to even come up with a corny one-liner.
We were hanging around the Statue of Hachiko, a place that held many memories for me. A good five minutes was spent doing nothing but making small talk, a huge departure from the often chatty exchanges the five of us made. Except… now there were only four of us.
At last, tired of being in the dark for so long, Eri put her foot down and made a decision.
"Okay, that's it, guys. We simply have to find out what is going on with Shiki," she announced, lips pursed in determination. "So we are going over to her apartment right now to ask her directly."
To be honest, I felt that Eri's idea was a good one. Beat seemed to second it from the way he was nodding in agreement, but Rhyme, being the most sensible one amongst us, thought otherwise.
"But Shiki's been ignoring our calls," she reasoned, mature for her thirteen years of age. "I don't think she really wants to be disturbed, you know."
"I know about that," Eri snapped, impatient and slightly cross. "But she's been MIA for almost a week. Isn't that enough to make you think something's wrong already? We must know about it!"
Rhyme gripped the back of her neck uneasily. "Hmmm… you have a point," she muttered, "Still…" She still seemed uncomfortable with the idea of barging into Shiki's home, even if it was to care about her.
"Come on, Rhyme," I said, trying to convince her, "Aren't you worried about Shiki? Sure, what we're gonna do is a bit rude, but I think the time has come to get our questions answered."
"Let's go to her place," Eri said, taking the lead. Finally we were getting somewhere in this little mystery.
However, if we didn't already know the shocking truth that lay in wait for us, we'd be forgiven for making such a brash act…
XOXOXOXOXO
Knock knock knock.
Eri's manicured fingertips rapped against the wooden door rapidly. Our party of four waited with bated breath for it to open. Actually, when it came down to it, we were really and quite literally waiting for the door of truth to open to us.
"I hope she wouldn't be mad at us," gulped Rhyme.
"Don't worry, yo," said Beat, "We jus' asking her. No biggie, right?"
There was no response. All was eerily quiet behind the door.
"What's going on?" I wondered aloud. I honestly wished I had X-ray vision so I could see what was happening at her home. A weird thought came to mind, though: what if I had said ability, but she was changing and totally indecent at that time? Blood rushed to my face as all manner of perverted fantasies surfaced forth. I tried to shake them off, but it was tough. The mental image of cute, lovable Shiki clad in nothing but a bra and panties was not an easy thing to forget about in just a few seconds, especially when she had in all truth a rather nice figure…
"Dammit, Shiki…" cursed Eri under her breath, more anxious than angry. "Don't just ignore us like this…" She was sick of being sick with worry.
"C-Calm down, Eri," I whispered, half-frightened that she'd break the door down with her bare hands.
She shot me a quick annoyed scowl. "I am already calm, Neku!" she hissed, jabbing me in the arm with her finger. It hurt. "Look, I… I'm okay, okay?." Oh yeah, she was definitely calm. With the ridges in her brow and the bulging vein on her temple.
Sensing no further response in the next ten seconds, Eri was about to tap her knuckles on the door again when it opened ajar. Slowly and excruciatingly painfully. A lone figure stood meekly in the space, half of her face visible. Eri's clenched hand froze in mid-air. It was Shiki.
"Shiki!" Eri cried, her voice full of emotion. Then, seeing the slight frown on her best friend's face, she softened her approach. "Um, Shiki, sorry for coming here on such short notice, but… we've been worried about you."
"You been absent from classes a whole week, yo," said Beat a tad too directly. I cringed a little from his bluntness. He wasn't mean, he just lacked tact… that's just the way he is, and we were all used to it.
Trying to take away the sting of his demand, I said gently, "We wondered what happened to you. In fact, I've been trying to call you all this time."
Shiki could only stare at the floor in sadness.
"Please," I pleaded. "We need to know."
"We're your friends, Shiki," said Rhyme. "Shouldn't friends support one another?"
"You're not an island," Eri chipped in. "If you've got a problem, give us a holler and we'll come running!" She placed Shiki's hands in hers, squeezing them a little too tightly.
Shiki seemed to remain unmoved, the look of sadness on her face perpetual and unchanging.
"Um, well, that is if you're willing, of course," I added hastily. I wanted to know what was going on, but having to bother her like this made me feel terrible.
She opened her mouth to speak at last. "I kind of expected it'd come to this," she mumbled in defeat. "To tell you the truth, guys, I'm not in the mood to talk… or see anyone… Sorry, I know you are my closest pals. But… not telling you the truth would be unfair, wouldn't it?"
The door opened fully. "Please come in," she said, in a monotone very much unlike her usual chirpy voice. "Make yourselves at home… My parents are out. I'll get you some tea."
She was like a totally different person altogether. What happened to the old Shiki we all loved? The Shiki we knew wouldn't greet us with a dull, robotic demeanour.
Soon all five of us were seated in the living room, sipping tea. Except Beat, who didn't like tea that much, if at all. He expertly lifted the lip of his cup to his mouth and pretended to drink. The silence in the room was overpowering… choking the very air.
"So, Shiki," I began hesitantly, afraid that she would clam up if I said the wrong thing and upset her. "Like I said, we're kinda wondering... I mean, at the very least, we want to know if you're alright. It's not like you to be like this, you know…"
She took a long sip from her tea, the evaporation misting up her glasses. A depressed sigh escaped from her lips. Every one of us waited with our hearts in our throats.
"You're really perceptive, guys," she said, devoid of energy. "You could say I'm not feeling well."
"Whatchu down with, yo?" asked Beat. "The flu?"
"No. If it was the flu, I would actually be thankful. Because I can actually recover from it."
"Are you saying you're suffering from some condition that can't be cured easily?" Eri pressed without probing too much into her friend's feelings.
"Y-Yeah…"
"What is it, Shiki?" My knuckles turned white, waiting for her answer. What was it that was so bad that she would want to skip classes for a week?
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yes…"
"Well, this may be a bit too much for you to handle, but… if I must…"
Her eyes were starting to well up with tears unshed. She tried to hide this from us, although unsuccessfully, by taking another sip of her hot tea and using her fogged-up glasses as camouflage. They cleared up soon enough though. She spoke again, and when she did, it was the most shocking, earth-shattering thing we had ever heard.
"I…" Shiki choked, "I've got cancer."
The four of us gasped. The news felt like a huge slap to the face. Like a huge anvil was dropped on us.
"Cancer?" Eri yelped. "You have… cancer?"
"During my medical check-up on Saturday," explained Shiki, "the doctor found that something was wrong with my physical endurance, and, well, my health in general. Anyway, long story short, they found out I have bone cancer."
"B-Bone cancer…" The words merely rattled out of my mouth, dry and laboured.
"For real, Shiki?" Rhyme asked, pale and stunned.
"How bad is it?" I demanded, "Is it very serious?"
Shiki hung her head in sorrow. A tear had already rolled down her cheek, and she swiftly caught it on her sleeve. "I… The doctor… He gave me three months to live."
"BWAAAH! What?" Beat's reaction earned him an angry glare on the arm from his sister, causing him to apologise to everyone profusely. He sure knew how to act inappropriately... Then he simply mumbled, "No way, yo… No way."
"Why three months?" I asked stupidly.
"My bone cancer is already in its advanced stages," she said, avoiding eye contact with me. "It's spreading quickly throughout my body… And I'm getting weaker and weaker as I speak… I fear I don't have much time left…"
"So you haven't been coming to class because you need to rest?" asked Eri, getting an affirmative nod from Shiki.
"It's so unfair!" Shiki wailed, hands balled into fists. "It's only been a year since we first got together and now this happens!" She removed her glasses and cried into her free hand. "There are still… so many things… so many we haven't done together…"
Her choked sobs filled the air. Without a word, Eri shuffled closer to her friend and gave her a reassuring hug. Shiki clung onto her with a vice-like grip, crying into her shoulder.
"Let it out, Shiki," whispered Eri, patting her head in their embrace. "Just… let it out. You need this much." Faced with the reality that she may lose her best buddy in a few months' time, she began to weep too. Tears were threatening to stream down her cheeks. She let them. Rhyme went over to wrap her arms around both Eri and Shiki, while Beat tried to hide his watering eyes under the shadow of his beanie. My own protective shield came down too.
I wanted to imagine that this was all a very bad and tasteless prank. I wished that we were all on some kind of practical joke TV show right now. But Shiki didn't suddenly laugh and shout "Gotcha!", and the door didn't burst open to reveal some flamboyant host shoving a cine camera in our faces.
No. None of it happened. It was real. It was happening.
No matter how much I hated it, I couldn't ignore that the girl of my dreams was going to die in only three months. When I thought back to the few occasions when Shiki invited me to go shopping with her, and I politely refused because I was just too tired or plain lazy, a tsunami of guilt washed over me. I should have spent more time with her! My heart was drowned in regret, trapped in the quicksand of despair.
"Shiki," I said quietly, "We're here for you. Lean on us."
Without releasing her grip on Eri, Shiki turned to look at me with puffy eyes. "Neku…"
"Whatever happens, Shiki, we'll see you through it. We're the best of friends."
"But I'm going to…" she mumbled, forlorn, "In three months, I'll be…"
"Shiki," I said, not caring that a tear had dribbled down my face, "You know? We should be living in the now."
"What do you mean?"
My friends looked at me, perplexed by my absurd philosophy.
"We haven't had the chance to do so many of the things that we all planned to do," I said, wiping my damp cheek. "so why don't we just go ahead with the plans we put off for so long?"
Eri made a small grin. "You know, Neku, that is a fantastic idea." She cleared her throat. "Guys, Shiki, what Neku says is correct. We've always been busy with our schedules that we haven't gotten round to actually carrying out the plans we wanted to discuss."
Rhyme scratched her cheek a little. "Plans, huh… Do you mean like the trip to Okinawa, or…"
"Yes! That's right! The Okinawa trip… we've been planning that for some time now and we never actually did it… And going to that sushi bar together, and the…"
"Ho yeah, I hear ya!" Beat piped up, pumping his fist enthusiastically. "Why not? We all go together and have fun, yo! Shiki, how about it? Better'n mopin' about the cancer stuff, right?"
"But," Shiki's meek voice broke in. "But what's the point? I… It's all over. I can't... I can't go on…"
This wasn't the Shiki that I wanted to see. I liked her smile, her laugh, even the way she gushed non-stop about The Prince. Sure, there were times when she chose to be quiet and reserved, but she was a happy girl and a lot of fun to have as a friend. Seeing her as a shadow of her former self, I couldn't stand it. The chatty, lively Shiki had to come back.
I swiftly swooped down before her, dropping to my knees so she could look at me up close. My hand found hers and I grabbed it tightly. Shiki jumped and grew red in the face. Eri, startled by my sudden action, leaped away a bit. Everyone was wide-eyed and wondered what I was doing. Had I gone mad, they must have wondered?
Never mind if it appeared for all the world like I was proposing to Shiki. But she was in a state of debilitating sadness, and if Eri and the rest couldn't lift her spirits, it was up to me to say the right words and return things to normal.
"Shiki," I began, gazing directly into brown tear-soaked orbs, "I understand how important it is to be worried about what will happen. But if you keep worrying like this, you'll be missing out on a lot."
She blinked. "I… I'm just…" Unable to find a suitable counter-argument, she let that last sentence die off, allowing me to speak again. The others listened on in silence.
"Well, I don't like to overcomplicate things," I said, "but basically what we should be doing more is living in the now. We may remember the past and look to the future, but it's also important to never forget about the present, right?"
"Like Beat put it," said Eri, catching on quickly, "there's no point moping all day long. There are better things to do!"
Shiki bit her lip and stared at the floor for a few seconds. By the look on her face, it seemed like she finally understood.
"Carpe diem," quipped Rhyme succinctly, "I'm sure you know what that means, right, Shiki?"
That was when I was rewarded. With a smile. Her smile. Shiki smiled at last, nodding weakly but surely.
"Thanks guys," she sniffled, her self-pity dissipating, "Yeah, between being sad and having fun, I'd rather choose the latter. So… what was it you were planning to do again?"
Eri almost shouted in incredible fervour, "The hot springs! I always wanted for us all to go to the hot springs! And then there's the –"
"BWAAAH! Hot springs?" Beat cringed, gulping obviously from the thought of imagining the girls – minus his sister – dressed in only towels. I had trouble containing my own male urges myself. Though I had to admit it would be nice to see Shiki in a yukata...