Lazy Susan was a curious person by nature, and she was the first person to admit her curiosity had gotten her into a fair share of trouble. She couldn't recall a lot of these instances, sure, but the feeling was there.
That was why she almost immediately took notice of a tall, slender, hooded figure who ducked through the door and went to sit in one of the booths, not speaking a word. It was a quiet morning, so Susa wasted no time in going over.
"Morning, sir! Or ma'am. I can't tell, sorry!" She laughed to herself, waiting for a response. It never came. "Haha, ha… Late night? Coffee always cheers me up in the morning!"
Without a word, the stranger pointed to a platter of pancakes on the menu.
"Pancakes? Can do… person! Huh, I wonder why we can't just call people person instead of sir or ma'am, it's so much easier!" She lifted up her lazy eye and 'winked' at the stranger. "I'll be right back with your order, person!"
Susan trotted into the kitchen, where she expertly whipped up some pancake mix and poured it into a greasy saucepan. It began to sizzle and let off a wonderfully sweet aroma, which made her smile. She loved making pancakes.
That was when there was a loud clanging sound from the tables, distracting her from cooking. She looked out of the window to see the stranger had dropped the napkin container on the floor. Seemingly unaware it was being watched, it picked all the napkins up off the floor and began… eating them.
"Gross," Lazy Susan frowned. "Eating off the floor is so unsanitary."
She was now very curious about the stranger; who, or what, was it? Only McGucket ate her napkins, and that was very clearly not McGucket.
Susan decided to do some investigating, and exited the kitchen with the pancakes still on the stove. She walked up to the table, putting on her best tip-getting smile.
"Is everything alright, person?"
The stranger sat completely still, completely silent.
"I saw you eating my napkins, and I just wanted to tell you the food will be right out, okay?"
Still no response.
"Also the floor is really dirty. I only use the broom for chasing away raccoons, haha, haha, hahaha!"
Nothing. Susan frowned.
"Well… I'll go check on my other customer now. Call me if you need anything." She backed away, eye still fixed on the stranger. It didn't appear to mind, or notice, or emote in any way at all.
Just what was under that hood? She walked over to the only other customer in the diner, a graying man with a woodpecker on his shoulder.
He seemed relaxed, but looked up in surprise when Lazy Susan leaned in wayyy too close and loudly whispered, "See that person over there? He's weird!"
"Huh?"
"He won't say anything, and he ate my napkins off the floor! All he wanted was for me to cook him some pancakes." She leaned in even closer, because he had flinched away. "What do you think he is?"
The woodpecker man eyed the stranger as he stretched, his long thin arms brushing the ceiling. "You're curious about him?"
"Yes, I am!"
"Then take my advice," The man's tone lowered to a dangerous softness. "Go into the kitchen and cook your pancakes."
"Okay…"
"Then serve it to him. Then wait until he leaves. Then never question it again."
"What?"
"Trust me, that is the best thing you should do right now. Never ask questions, or you might see something you'll want to unsee." He then sniffed, his brow furrowing in concern. "Is… is that a fire I smell?"
Lazy Susan looked over to the kitchen, where a considerable amount of smoke was billowing from. "Oh, that must be the pancakes! I'll go get them now."
When she arrived in the kitchen, she immediately took off her apron to smother the massive fire that had started in the pan. The only thing left of the pancake she had been cooking was a shriveled, blackened, sooty mess.
"Perfect!" Susan put it on a plate and walked out to serve it to the stranger. It didn't seem to question the dramatically burned food and dug in without so much as a thank you. Rude.
"So, how do you like it, person?" Susan watched as the hooded person cut off a chunk and put it in its mouth, and then another. "Not much of a talker, are you?"
She waited for the stranger to respond, but nothing. Getting annoyed now, she decided to try another method.
"Person, there is a rule to remove all hats and hoods when entering the restaurant."
Still nothing.
"I'm going to have to ask you to remove your hood, person."
The stranger continued eating. Well, she couldn't say she didn't warn it.
Susan reached over, grabbed the stranger's hood and pulled it down. What she saw next, well…
"HOW DARE YOU!" Grey, slimy skin. Gaunt, skull-like face. Glowing red, wrathful eyes.
Cold thin fingers gripped her shoulders, and she screamed. "YOU HAVE OFFENDED ME BEYOND FORGIVENESS! I WILL NOT FORGET THIS. NOW LEAVE ME BE, NOSY HUMAN!"
Susan was tossed aside, and by the time she looked up, the... the creature, it was gone. The only thing it left behind was a burnt pancake and a large wad of soggy napkins.
"Wha… wha… what was that?" Wide eyed, Susan turned to the woodpecker man. "I've never been more scared in my life! Did you see that?"
The woodpecker man stood up. "Yes, I did. I warned you, Susan."
"Lesson learned!" Susan nodded numbly. "That was horrifying; I'll make sure to stop questioning random strangers about things I have no business in from now on! Just as long as that never happens again… whew, how am I gonna sleep tonight?"
"Don't worry, you'll sleep well tonight." The woodpecker man brought out what looked like some sort of strange gun. "And don't worry about that monster either; I'll take care of everything for you."
Susan frowned as the gun glowed blue. "What is that? Hey, what are you-"
Zap.
Lazy Susan was a curious person by nature…