HeyGuys! I'm Back!

Alright so I can't write a happy story to save my life :P Well actually I might try on this one but you never know. Oh, and the title has pretty much nothing to do with the story unless I actually continue this story and take it somewhere that has to do with the title, but only if you'd like me to continue.

Disclaimer: Me no own.

XxxX

Another day, another damned beating. My dad just couldn't seem to get enough. It used to only happen when he was drunk. But now at any time of the day, if he is in the mood I get beat. I hate this. My dad beats me. My mom just doesn't care. She turns the cold shoulder. Better me than her.

I walked out of my house whilst rubbing my cheek. My dad didn't even try to hide it anymore. He hit me wherever he could reach. My arm, stomach, face, legs. I got beat everywhere. I wonder sometimes if socs have the same problems. But then again, they're socs, so probably not.

I reached the Curtis Household and walked inside. It was dead silence. And rather dark too. But that was to be expected as it was so early in the morning. My dad had literally dragged me out of bed just to beat me. So I of course fled from the house, and to the only place that I truly feel safe. The Curtis home. Usually the rest of the gang is here and I know that no one can touch me. They would all give their lives to save mine, and though I'm grateful, I don't understand why. I have nothing to live for. I'm useless, my parents tell me that everyday.

But the gang tells me not to believe it. They tell me I'm worth every breath I take. Pony has talked me out of suicide more times than I can remember. He tells me that I am only 16. He tells me that I need a chance to make my life better. He tells me that I can change it. That I will be okay, and that I will get through this. I believe him at times, but at other times, I just think he's full of it.

I walk over to the couch, but find that the space is already occupied by Steve. Figures. He is pretty much always here. I grab the spare blanket and pillow off of Darry's chair for in case of a random gang visit and head to the corner where there is the most space. On my way I manage to bang my knee against the table by the chair. I swear to myself and then lie down. I think as I usually do about my life. My terrible suckish life. In all my 16 years, I've just barely known love. Starting when I met Pony when I was about 8. From then on I grew more accustom to actually receiving attention, from him, his parents, brothers and the rest of the gang as they came. But never from my parents. Never from the people I wanted it most from.

I also think about my "idol" Dally. He's so tuff. He walks around swearing, beating the shit out of socs, and just getting in trouble in general. I want to be pretty much just like him. I know, maybe not the best person to choose to be my idol. Wouldn't it be better if I idolized Darry, or Soda, maybe Steve. Probably. But I can see things in Dally. Things others probably overlook. Even Pony, who notices everything. I can see the protective look in his eyes when he looks at Pony, or me. I can see the way his hard face softens when Pony says something that he would normally knock someone's tooth out for. I can see how he takes the fall for things that wasn't his doing. He's just so, cool.

And then there's Pony. He introduced me to the full gang. I can see how much he cares about me, and everyone else in fact. He welcomes me into his home, though that also includes Darry and Soda. He taught me what it's like to be loved. He showed me sunsets and helped me notice the colors. He helps me keep my life going. He actually makes me feel loved. I know the rest of the gang tries. But Pony, and Part way of Dally, though he keeps it very masked, make me know the true feeling of love. They also help me realize that though I can't see it well now, that I will amount to something. Or at least they try to help me see that. But most of the time I don't see it. But at least they try.

I smile slightly knowing that the two things that matter most in my life feel the same about me. I love having friends that are so close to you you're like siblings. I think about the little amount of good and my life and close my eyes. I can feel myself drifting into unconsciousness and my last thought before I fall completely is that even though tomorrow I will undoubtedly get beat tomorrow, I have good in my life. I know that it may be worth it. Maybe. Maybe just Maybe my life is worth living.

XxxX

I kind of like this story? Umm kind of a look into what Johnny might think.

R&R, need to know if I should continue, and if so ideas for where to take the story next. Thank ya!