Like Rabbits
"Hey…where'd Kurt and Blaine go?" Sugar asked, looking around with a slight pout. The crowd showed waitresses carrying empty glasses, Puck dancing with several girls and Finn and Rachel sucking face as per usual, but no sign of the couple.
"They mysteriously vanished at the end of Love Shack, I think," Rory said thoughtfully, searching through the dancing, bustling crowd for them. "Wonder where…maybe they're in the back."
"Ugh, your innocence kills me, leprechaun," Santana said, rolling her eyes. Sugar and Rory turned their eyes to the Latina, stretched out on her back across three chairs with her head in Brittany's lap. "They clearly got out of here, straight to the backseat of Kurt's car."
"Oh yeah, totally!" Brittany exclaimed with a grin. "I mean, they were having eye-sex all through the song."
"Who was having eye-sex all through the song?" Mercedes asked, appearing suddenly at their table with Sam in tow.
"Kurt and Blaine," Brittany answered brightly, glancing towards the doors as if expecting the pair to suddenly appear.
"Tell me about it!" Mercedes exclaimed with a heavy sigh, flopping into the only available seat. "I have never seen such blatant bedroom eyes."
"Plus Blaine was, like, dragging Kurt around by his tie," Sam added. "No wonder they both take hours to get back to texts."
"I swear, you can't drop in on Kurt unannounced these days if you don't wanna be scarred for life," Mercedes said, shuddering a little at the memories flooding into her head.
"But it's hot!" Brittany protested to a laugh from Santana and a nod of agreement from Sugar.
"While I'm glad my boy's getting some," Mercedes said, "I don't need or want to see it. Ever. It's just disturbing."
"It's hot," Santana argued, linking pinkies with her girlfriend. Mercedes shot them both a glare.
"You haven't had to listen to Finn graphically describing the position they were in when he barged in like an idiot," Sam said, making a disgusted face. "Mentally scarring stuff."
"They're like rabbits," Mercedes agreed. "Extremely sex-fixated rabbits."
"Have you seen their boyfriends?" Brittany asked. "I'd be a rabbit."
"And speaking of sexually-driven rabbits," Santana said, standing up and pulling Brittany with her, "goodnight, everybody, because Santittany be leaving this party."
Mercedes, Sam, Rory and Sugar watched the pair leave with raised eyebrows. "And they're straight to the backseat of Santana's car," Mercedes said, rolling her eyes. "Is it just a gay and lesbian couples thing?"
"Not if Finn and Rachel are any example," Rory pointed out.
Mercedes groaned as she looked across at the couple. "Oh hell no, that is just grossing me out. Ugh, let's go break them up."
And that, my friends, is how the end of the episode should have gone.
But seriously, can we talk about how there was clearly a kliss cut from the ep?
Better be one next week, or.../looks threatening/
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