Summary: What if Marianne/Anya actually did draw on Suzaku's face? How would the battle with Charles si Britannia go? Minor OOC, crack
A/N: God, I was cracking up so much when I wrote this…enjoy! Warning: Minor OOC. AU of episode 21 of R2.
Marianne/Anya and C.C. landed next to an unconscious Suzaku. As Anya's Mordred touched the ground, it sent a dust cloud billowing in all directions.
C.C. glanced at the Knightmares screen.
"Marianne, isn't that Suzaku?"
"It looks like he's sleeping."
"Ehh…probably unconscious."
Marianne/Anya studied the screen for a long moment. Then, a big, evil grin spread across her face. C.C just looked amused as she jumped out of the red Knightmare, taking her plushie with her. Marianne/Anya followed, twirling a black Sharpie in her hands.
"Marianne…you're not…,"CC began, looking from Suzaku to the possessed girl.
Marianne/Anya just smiled a bit wider. The expression was a foreign look on the normally monotone girl. She sauntered over to the sleeping Knight, tugging the cap from the marker. C.C sighed. Marianne was really mischievous sometimes; she acted just like a child. But hey, it was a show worth watching, and Suzaku probably wouldn't go all ninja and kick her.
Marianne/Anya crouched down over Suzaku, who was still snoring away obliviously. Marianne first drew a deliberately thick mustache, curling it at the edges. Then, over his left eyes, she drew a very bad circle with an even worse flower poking over the top. Then, on his right cheek, she moved so CC couldn't see what she was drawing.
"Hey Marianne, move! I can't see!" CC hissed, stepping closer.
Sudd3nly, Marianne/Anya's head whipped around, and she glared at her with flashing pink eyes. CC raised her hands in a gesture of mock apology, rolling her eyes.
Marianne/Anya worked quietly for the next few minutes, snickering evilly every five seconds or so. CC waited patiently, resisting the urge to chuck rocks. Finally, after an eternity of waiting, Marianne/Anya stopped drawing and re-capped the marker. She was about to move away and show CC her handiwork, but at that moment Suzaku had to wake up.
Ah well, better pretend, Marianne thought.
"Che. He woke up," she whined, twirling the marker for extra effect.
Behind her, CC raised an eyebrow
"A-Anya! What are you doing here?" Suzaku cried, completely unaware of the transformation he had just undertaken.
"Anya" smirked. "Right now, I'm Marianne, Lelouch's and Nunnally's mother," Marianne/Anya declared proudly, unable to hold in a snicker. She rose and moved to the side, finally allowing CC to see her makeshift canvas.
CC swore she could die laughing.
Suzaku had magically grown a thick, curly mustache and a hairy goatee, along with a couple of whiskers. His left eye was a messed-up flowerbed, and his right a splotch of black. On his right cheek, "I LUV Lelouch" was crudely written, along with a smiley face. His left cheek was decorated with doodles- swirls, squiggly lines, and various other shapes.
Then, her gaze traveled up. On the gallant's Knight's forehead was written: "I AM A DORK" in huge letters, with a horrible portrait of himself accompanying it.
CC was howling so hard she was sure that all the birds within a one mile radius had flown away.
Suzaku stared at the green haired girl in front of him, who was currently laughing her head off.
"Umm….CC, are you ok? Is there something wrong?" Suddenly feeling self-conscious, he glanced down at his uniform. It seemed ok! Was there something on his face…?
"CC, is there something on my face?" he asked, very nervous now. The flowers moved as his brow scrunched up together.
CC, at this point, had finally calmed down some. "Nothing, nothing, just an inside joke!" She caught Marianne/Anya's eye and grinned. "Or maybe an outside joke." Suzaku coughed.
"Anyways, let's get back to business," she declared, clutching her plushie as she made her way into the cave, Suzaku and Marianne/Anya closely following.
The proper explanations were made, and the preparations and all the other good stuff were all finished, and CC and Marianne/Anya both managed to keep a somewhat straight face throughout. Then, CC sent Suzaku into C's world, to the Sword of Akasha, followed by Marianne and CC herself. Anya's body was left behind.
"The battle between Britannia and the Black Knights…It was all to lure out CC. So, from the very beginning, I was just a nuisance. Meaningless noise in the world. "
"So, what do you two think about that?" Lelouch chuckled, feeling the presence of Suzaku and CC behind him. The mist cleared, revealing the two.
An awkward silence filled the air.
Then, Charles si Britannia began to laugh. A deep dark chuckle that slowly transformed into a full out, sadistic howl. He had doubled over and tears began to form in his eyes.
CC grinned.
Lelouch's expression changed from cocky to shocked to confused.
The emperor raised a trembling finger and pointed.
Lelouch felt a strange sense of dread as he slowly turned around and met a strange, marker-filled face. Then, with horror, he realized, it was SUZAKU. With drawings and doodles ALL OVER HIS FACE! Lelouch took in the "I AM A DORK" to the "I LUV LELOUCH" to the curly mustache and the goatee. He didn't know whether to laugh his head off or to scream at his supposed "back-up". In the end, Lelouch chose somewhere in between, although inside, he was secretly laughing his guts out.
"S…S…S…S…Su…Suzaku…what…"
"What?! Spit it out already!" The poor Japanese cried. He was becoming very confused, poor guy.
"YOUR FACE!" Lelouch couldn't help it anymore. He doubled over laughing, a genuine laugh. A tiny part of his logical mind warned him that he was forgetting something important. Lelouch shoved it away though. What could be more important than this?
Suzaku looked around wildly, and CC handed him a random mirror with shaking hands.
The person staring back at him….was NOT Suzaku. Or so he claimed.
Suzaku's jaw dropped, and his hand automatically shot up to cover the "I LUV LELOUCH". A furious blush crept up his normally very handsome face.
"Who…what…who…did this?! What the Hell?" his voice rose to hysteria, becoming very high pitched, and he flung the mirror into a nearby pole, effectively shattering it. His face was basically just red, and black.
The emperor, at this point, had finally controlled himself, as did Lelouch, who stumbled towards his hyperventilating friend and patted him on the shoulder.
A soft, feminine giggle rang in their ears as a tall, black haired lady stepped into view. Her grin widened as Lelouch's dropped.
"Kaa-san…," he muttered softly, dropping his eyes.
Marianne smirked. "Suzaku dear, how did you like my artistic abilities?"
OMAKE
Behind the emperor, "God" started to appear, swirling up to the heavens above. Yet, both the emperor and Marianne were too busy laughing to notice. Meanwhile, Suzaku had covered his face with his hands and was currently curled up in the fetal position, fuming.
Lelouch, on the other hand, went straight back to business. He brushed right past his parents and ordered time to go on, without his parents even noticing. It was only when they started sparkling away like demented fairies did they realize.
Charles spread out one hand that gleamed with the Geass sign.
"LELOU-"Charles attempted to yell, and actually reaching Lelouch's neck, intending to strangle him, but was cut off by a fit of laughing; Suzaku had lifted his head to glare at them.
Lelouch smiled sadistically. "Bye-bye!"
AFTER…
When they - Lelouch, Suzaku and CC - exited the cave, Lelouch couldn't stop grinning at the expression his friend was wearing.
"Suzaku, it's all thanks to you and your wonderfully hideous face that I managed to defeat my parents!"
"SHUT UP!"
FIN
~line break~
A/N: * wheeze wheeze pant * Did I seriously just write that? *Stares* Oh god. Eh, my first attempt at crack, so it's not too professional. I'll say though, it seemed better when I imagined it.
Review please!