He's a Pirate
Chapter 1- Captain, If You Please
The waves rolled and crashed against the side of the wall. The people inside huddled in their homes, glad that they could wait out the storm in safety. High above the roofs of the town, a lighthouse stood with its beam casting light across the ocean. Not a speck of anything could be seen across those rolling waves.
Rain came down in torrents, soaking a drunken man who was sleeping in an alley. The cold droplets of water woke him, and he looked around himself in surprise. His wet hat covered most of his eyes, and he pushed it up so he could see better. His vision was blurred, and he took several minutes to figure out if he was upside-down or right-side-up. The drunkard stood up and swayed slightly on uncertain legs. He turned and saw a broom leaning up against the wall of a building. He bowed ungracefully to it, taking off his three-tiered hat as he did so.
"Hello, luv," the drunken man said to the broom, slurring his words so that they sounded like a jumble of incoherent gurgles Music drifted outside from the building that he stood beside. The building happened to be a tavern. It was called Two Hornpipes. "May I have this dance?" He asked. Then he picked up the broom as though it were a lady and began to dance to the lively tune coming through the partially open kitchen door.
The man swayed on uncertain feet, and eventually fell backwards, hitting his bottom on the ground.
"Ow," he said calmly, and after a long pause. He cradled the broom close and lay down on the wet ground. Curling up, he rested his head on the handle of the broom. "You and me, luv," he said, "we're soul mates, eh?" He chuckled at nothing and closed his heavy eyes.
Just as the man was nearly asleep, he heard the faint sound of a door opening. Footsteps brought someone to the drunkard's feet. He raised his head off of the broom and looked into a blurred face of what seemed to be a smiling man. The man was wearing breeches and tunic that were already wet with rain, and the wind whipped his short hair over his face. The man's salt and pepper beard was short, and ill-kempt.
"Mother's love!" the man exclaimed. Or at least, that's what the drunkard thought he said. His hearing wasn't doing too well at that moment. "Jack Sparrow! What are ye doing here?" The salt and pepper man reached out a hand and helped up the drunken man.
"Captain Jack Shparrow, if you please," Jack said, swaying. He looked around himself, searching for something. He bent down and picked up the broom. "Have ye met me new bonny lass?" He asked the salt and pepper man.
"Jack, come inside," the salt and pepper man replied. "Ye'll catch yer death." He led the swaying pirate into the tavern.
The music was much louder now, and as Jack's hearing still hadn't quite come back, he shouted in the salt and pepper man's ear, "Who are here doing you, Gibbs?"
Gibbs pulled Jack away to an unoccupied table and swept away the crumbs that littered the table's wooden surface. No one noticed a gray mouse scurry out of a hole in the wall and snatch up the bread crumbs.
"Here ye go," Gibbs said, putting a tankard of ale in front of Jack. It was diluted with water, so very little of it was alcoholic. Jack didn't notice, and instead downed the tankard in one swift movement. He belched loudly and put his feet up on the table.
"So," Gibbs began,"where have ye been, Jack?"
Jack waved his hand around dramatically and fell off of his seat. "It's really unimportant as to where I have been," he said, standing up and attempting to get his balance. "What's really important is where I'm going." He tried to take a swig of ale, but then noticed that the glass was empty. "Oh," he mumbled, and put the glass on the table. Gibbs filled it completely with water this time, trying to sober the pirate captain up so he would be easy to talk to.
Jack tried to take a swig of it, but he couldn't smell any alcohol, and when he took a sip, it tasted awful. "Blech!" Jack exclaimed, throwing the tankard of water in a haphazard direction. It crashed into someone's skull, knocking the person unconscious. The other people at the table all looked at Jack. One held a knife, and was carving things into the table menacingly. Jack waved at the man, and saliva dribbled down his chin.
Gibbs stood up and tried to steer Jack away from the rest of the people so he wouldn't get into a fight, but it was too late. One of the men that had been sitting at the other table stood up and came over. He had a thick, black mustache, and curly black hair. The rest of his face was just down-right ugly. Jack held out his hand to the obviously angry man.
"How ye doing, mate?" The pirate captain asked drunkenly. He leaned forward and breathed his hot, rancid breath in the taller man's face. "I'm Captain Jack Shparrow. Mind ye call me Captain Jack, or Captain Shparrow, or Captain Jack Shparrow." He rocked back and forth on his weak legs. "Jush sho long ash ish Captain." He fell against the other man's chest and began to snore loudly. The beads in his black dreadlocks clinked together faintly, and his hat was askew.
The other man had been standing perfectly still, waiting to hear Jack's apology. Unfortunately, the man did not realize that Jack had forgotten the incident with the tankard of water even before it even happened. The man set Jack standing upright. Jack opened his eyes and squinted at the man, studying him.
"Ye don't seem to want to stay awake, mate," the taller man said. His muscles bulged under his sleeveless shirt. "Perhaps I aught to help ye fall asleep."
"Now, now," Gibbs began, coming up and beginning to lead the tall man away. "There's no reason to get testy."
"Do ye want to go to sleep, too, Gibbs?" The black-haired man growled.
"Ye know what, it's obviously none of me business," Gibbs said, backing away. "I'll just let ye two get on with yer conversation."
The tall man nodded, and turned back to Jack, who was looking around. He spotted a person who he thought was a woman. He smiled and waved drunkenly at the man with the peg-leg. The growled and held up a knife. But Jack didn't notice because the next thing he knew, the tall man had returned, and was holding Jack by his collar.
"Let me sing ye a song to help ye fall asleep," he said.
"Oh, I love songs!" Jack exclaimed. Then he began to sing to the lively tune of a fiddle. "Everyone gather round! I'll buy ye all a round! And we'll drink, drink, drink until we shtink, shtink, shtink!" He giggled somewhat insanely. "Let's shtink 'til we drink!" He exclaimed, and tried to reach for a tankard of ale that was sitting on a table.
Unfortunately, it was at that moment that Jack was thrown across the room by the tall man. "Sweet dreams, Jack Sparrow!" The man exclaimed, laughing.
Lights danced in front of Jack's eyes, and he blinked several times. He lay there on the floor, stunned. "I shought I wush going to shleep," he muttered. He raised his head, but found that it took too much energy to sit up. So he just lay his head down on the floor. His mind imagined him with dozens of beautiful woman who were not jealous like all the other women he had "courted".
"Hello, luv," he muttered, and passed out on the floor. Gibbs rolled Jack out of the main room and attempted to drag him up the stairs. When he couldn't get past the first step, he instead dragged Jack's unconscious body into a back room that was normally kept for someone who was going to be employing the services of the ladies in the tavern. Jack slept there on a straw pallet until morning.
A/N: I hope you liked that! It's my first Jack Sparrow story, so let me know if I'm doing anything wrong. I always say that the best way to think of how to end one story is to start another. Review please!