Author's Notes-
This is my first ever fanfic, so please be nice! :) I'm just gonna start writing and see where it takes me.
Warning: Smutty themes and situations ahead! ;D Rated M to be safe.
Reviews are greatly appreciated! Please R&R!
Disclaimer: I don't own Deathnote or any of the characters, yadda yadda.
It is in these moments that L can imagine a perfect utopia for himself, one where they would be headed in a better direction than this. At first, he only did it because he wanted Light to slip up and give some evidence that he was Kira, but now he's not sure. It was cruel of him to manipulate Light like this, but to be fair, he's manipulating himself too.
L tilts his head down slightly to see Light draped over him. He's asleep, but L knows that he'll wake him up if he moves, so he doesn't. Or perhaps that's just what L is telling himself because he enjoys Light being there. They can't continue on like this, L knows that well enough. Until he finds evidence and sends Light to his deathbed, he has to keep up this facade. But that's exactly why it's so dangerous. L doesn't want to let Light go, because Light's turned into his only constant, and sure, he's done this on other cases before, but Light is different. He's the only one in Japan on L's level. Hell, probably in the whole world. It's all part of L's job, though, and he is the best in the world at what he does. Just a little while longer, and I'll kill Kira, L tells himself, but it's not enough. And it never will be, because it's hard to hate Light when he's not Kira.
Sometimes L wishes that Light had never had that personality switch back in his confinement, because then L would've caught him by now. If he hadn't changed then it wouldn't be so hard, they wouldn't be headed downhill. Light knows, too. Whether or not he is conscious of the fact that he is Kira, he knows that this can only lead to disaster. L likes to pretend that things aren't the way that they are. If he didn't, then he would feel the fire burning himself. And Light. That might be something that he can't deal with.
-A Month Earlier-
Light is different than anybody L has ever known. Be it the fact that Light is the only person who has ever been able to challenge him, or the fact that he fooled everyone else. L pulls out another lollipop as he watches Light's chest slowly rise up and down. L thinks that perhaps he enjoys this form of Light the most, because this is the only time that he doesn't have his guard up. Of course, he's asleep, so it's unlikely that L could find any clues during this period, but that doesn't make it any less enjoyable. L likes to think of this time as his 'development time', because he gathers everything he concluded throughout the day, and uses it to form a plan.
L soon devises a plan, one that has worked before, with other cases. No, more of a suggestion, L reasons with himself, because this plan only has a 57.2% success rate. Also because it could cause trouble for L. It has before, and Light is even more appealing than the others, which could be dangerous. That's what L likes, though, if he didn't, then he couldn't be the best at what he does. He eventually decides that the risk is worth it, because justice is always worth it. And sometimes this thought troubles him. The thought that he truly doesn't get to decide for himself, that justice chooses for him.
The plan is a long-shot, but if it worked before, it can work again. L just has to take it slowly. He knows 100% that Light will not react favorably to being grabbed, shoved, or pushed, leaving L to have to appear vulnerable.
"Light-kun, I need to go to the kitchen," L says, just loud enough to wake Light up, but not loud enough for Light to understand. Light shifted slightly upon hearing this, but didn't respond. "Light-kun," L repeats, just a little bit louder this time. Light grumbles something unintelligible, and sits up on his elbows.
"What do you want, Ryuzaki?" Light grits out, frustration evident in his voice. L thinks that this Light is the best one for getting answers, because he is tired and less aware of his social manners and of what he is saying.
"I need to go to the kitchen. I require another slice of tiramisu." Light only groans in response and slowly sits up. L wishes that Light would hurry, because he has things to do, and he wants to get on with this part. L knows that he can't do much today, and that's okay, because he really isn't fond of the human contact, and would prefer to wean himself into it.
L gently puts his hand on Light's shoulder, because that's a start, and it will lead somewhere. It always does. "Let's go, Light-kun," L mumbles, removing his hand and standing up from his position on his chair. Light only yawns and reluctantly follows.
When they reach the kitchen, L heads straight for the refrigerator and pulls out the tiramisu. He offers Light some and, as usual, he declines. This time, though, he says it with more annoyance in his voice than usual, due to his sleep-deprived state. "Alright, then, Light-kun," L says, trying to hit between vaguely hurt and his usual apathetic tone.
Clearly, it worked, because then Light is mumbling an apology of sorts. "That's not what I-, I'm, I didn't mean to, uh." L holds back a smirk at the reaction, and it's not that hard, considering he's talking to a murderer.
L, choosing this as the perfect moment, closed the fridge door and moved swiftly next to Light. He slouched a little bit more, because L knows that Light loves the feeling of superiority, and being shorter than Light in this moment could only work out in his favor. "You didn't mean to what, Light-kun?" L murmurs, leaning in closer to Light. He momentarily wonders whether, if Light wouldn't allow L to go any further, he could play this behavior off as just a lack of social boundaries.
Before Light could push him away, L gently presses his lips to the edge of Light's mouth. Light doesn't move, and neither of them close their eyes, Light because of the shock, and L because he wants to see Light's reactions. L stops and pulls back, just an inch. "I'm sorry, Light-kun," L breathes, not really knowing what he meant, letting the suspect make out what he wants of the words. He leans in again, this time with a little more confidence, and for just a moment, Light kisses back, seemingly soaking it up.
Light moves his hand to L's head and weaves his fingers into his black hair, before pushing him away. L notes that he is much more awake and aware now. "Why did you do that?" Light questions, narrowing his eyes.
L ponders for a moment, then thinks that, since he has zero social skills in Light's view, he should go with that act. "Because, Light-kun, I am only human, and we all have the same desires, do we not?" he says, with a light tone, cocking his head to the side. Light realizes what L is asking for and his eyebrows fly up.
Light contemplates shoving him away, because he's confused and tired and really doesn't want to deal with this right now, but decides to go along with whatever he's saying, because otherwise L will raise his percentage. He's so deep in thought now that he forgets to respond, and is roughly brought back to reality when L wraps his arms around Light's waist and grinds his hips onto Light. It's pathetic, really, and it spurs him on.
Light guides the detective over to the couch in the living room, conveniently located right but the kitchen. L crouches down on the couch, and leans into Light when he sits beside him. Light smirks, and really, his ego must be enjoying this terribly. His hand slips between L's legs, and he moves it too fucking slowly. L groans, not because he enjoys it, but in hope that Light will hurry up. He tries to analyze what Light's doing, but his mind is fuzzy and he can tell that he's close. His legs fall to the ground from his crouch, and he lets out some breathy sound because, oh, Light's hand is good. It's too hard to focus on the task at hand, and in the next instant he's coming. L slumps down into Light, who somehow moved L into his lap like some helpless thing. He tries to organize his thoughts, but it's the first time he's gotten off in months, and he succumbs to the afterglow for just a little while longer.
"Thank you, Light-kun, you may go to bed now," L says, putting his emotionless mask back on. He drags Light back to their shared bedroom, and lays down on his side. Light's stuttering the whole way.
"But, you just-, I," Eventually, Light gives up and turns away from him, falling asleep once more. L allows himself a half hour of sleep that night, and not a wink more. He pulls his computer up from the floor, and realizes he left his tiramisu in the kitchen. Of course, that was only a decoy, but he still wants it. L sighs and instead grabs a toffee from his nightstand. He decides that it won't be hard with Light, because he found that his touches aren't bad, and he won't have to pretend nearly as much as he did with other, nearly-forgotten suspects. But he has to be careful, he's trotting on thin ice, here, and he won't let this turn against himself. Light is a murderer, L reminds himself, and hopes that Light switches back to his 'god among men' mindset, because that would make it a great deal easier for him.
Light wakes up in the morning feeling more worn than when he went to bed. He rolls over and sees L and shit, he remembers what happened the night before. Sure, he was tired and couldn't think straight, but why? How could he do that? It gives Light that awful, trashy frat-boy feeling, and he can't stand it. What's he supposed to say? 'Hey, can you tell me why I jacked you off last night?'
It's too much for Light to swallow at once, so he decides to wait and see if L says anything. The genius hasn't noticed that he's awake yet, so Light yawns loudly and makes a show of getting up again.
"Good morning, Light-kun," the panda mumbles, and goes back to typing. It makes Light want to destroy that fucking computer. Of course, if he were to act on that, L would raise his percentage.
Suddenly, Light realizes that perhaps, just maybe, this was a test of some sort. It fills him with a slight anxiety that he may have failed. But then again, Light has never failed and never will, and even when he was in that sleep-deprived delirium, he was still cautious. He always is. And he can't figure out what exactly L was testing. His self-control? His patience?
The detective is looking at him expectantly, and Light hurriedly replies, "Good morning, Ryuzaki." He doesn't seem completely satisfied with the answer, but Light deems it enough.
They work normally that day, but nobody else is there. Of course there isn't, it's Sunday, but Light can't shake the feeling that L made sure that things would work out that way. It infuriates Light, to the point where he can't focus on his work. Eventually, Light slams his laptop shut and strides directly over to L.
"Light-kun, what are you do-" L's question is muffled by Light's mouth crushing into his. L gasps and Light takes the chance to shove his tongue in. L wants to grin, but he can't, his mouth is occupied by Light, and he enjoys that he could annoy him to this extent. In the next instant, Light is yanking him up by his shirt and pushing him against the wall. L lets Light do what he will, even adds a few quiet noises to encourage him. Yes, L thinks, this is exactly what should be happening. He's surprised that Light came onto him so quickly. He expected it to take a few days, at the very least. L tries to collect his thoughts, but Light is so much better than the others, and he can't keep his train of thought. He doesn't like it, he's never been fond of human contact, but Light is clearly experienced, and it makes it that much more tolerable. L dearly hopes that Light hasn't realized what he's trying to do. It is unlikely that he has, but there's a 28% chance that he has, and that's too high for L to be comfortable.
He comes back as Light jams a leg between L's. He tears his lips away from L's and moves down to his neck. L wishes he hadn't, because if he leaves a mark, the rest of the taskforce will be able to see it when they come back. He pushes against Light, and if he really wanted to be let go, he could have Light pinned on the ground in less than a second, but he wants to play this right, and that would do more harm than good. He settles for just turning his head downward, and gently saying, "Light-kun, please."
That gets him, but he doesn't let go or step away, he just winds his arms around L's waist and rests his forehead on L's shoulder. "I can see what you're doing, Ryuzaki," he spits, and L grimaces. "Ah, Kira-kun, I expected as much. This behavior can and will be considered as assault."
"16%," he adds, just for extra measure. "No, it won't, L. You know you deliberately provoked me. You didn't give me any explanation whatsoever about last night. And I'm not Kira."
He says the last part slightly quieter than the rest. L can't quite tell whether he's saying it in that tone to sound crestfallen, or if he really is crestfallen. Frankly, both are possible at this point. L doesn't know what to say, and that's not right. He always has a response for everything. And so L just kisses his forehead.
That does something to Light, and then he's pushing L down to his knees and undoing the button on his pants. L knows what's going on, this isn't the first time he's done this, but he might be a little rusty. He inhales and then wraps his lips around the tip of Light's cock. Light's mouth falls open and he gasps. That's enough consent for L, so he hollows his cheeks and takes in as much as he can. L bobs his head maybe four or five times, then grazes his teeth on the underside, and that's it. Light's knees are shaking as he comes and it's clearly the first time he's had this done. He slumps on the floor in front of L, breathing heavily.
After a few moments, Light tilts his head up and looks at L. L doesn't suppress his smirk this time and he nods down to the tent in his jeans. "My turn," he breathes.
Light's not very good at this, L decides, but he comes embarrassingly quickly anyways, because it's been so long. L doesn't allow himself any time for the afterglow, and he gathers himself together (which didn't take much effort, as he typically looks like he just walked out of a trash compactor), and waits for Light. Light takes longer, but that's probably why he always looks like he just walked off of a modeling set. They return to the main room and get back to work. Light can't concentrate on the words in front of him, and he can't comprehend what just happened. L thinks, no, knows that this will be more dangerous than he first thought, because Light is as smart as he is, and very well educated in this area. L didn't like it though, and he never will. Light will fall, and L will kill him. I didn't like it, he repeats to himself, I didn't.
A/N: Sorry this was so short. Should I write a second chapter? Idk, I might keep going. I didn't expect this to be filled with so many clichés. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Please R&R!