I let out a slow, shaky breath as I approached the gates to the graveyard. A sweet summer breeze blew by, making my aqua hair blow in the wind. It felt nice, and standing in the shade of a huge tree I felt more peaceful than I had in days.

I lifted one leg, and then the other. My legs felt like Jell-O. At this moment, walking was a difficult task. My hands were clammy. I made my way down row after row until I finally found it.

The gravestone with his name inscribed on it.

My heart pounded in my chest as I plopped down in front of it on my knees. I layed my flowers down, smoothed out my skirt, and drew in a deep, trembling breath.

"Where to begin..." I spoke, letting a sudden gust of wind carry my words away. I cleared my throat and began again.

"First off," I started, staring absently into the distance. "Sugar is salty, and salt is oh so sweet."

This made me remember the time he made me a cupcake, except he accidentally used salt instead of sugar. When he presented it to me in front of my friends, I pretended to act mortified because no one knew about my crush on him. But I was secretly touched at his attempt to bake.

I laughed before continuing. "Summer is a freezing season, and winter is a sweaty one. Also, whales swim in the starry sky, diving through an eternal rainbow." A smile played slightly on my face as I said this, because it made me remember just how silly he was.

A sigh escaped my lips, my smile faded, and I rested my head on the stone as I continued. "I hate everything everything about you, and I never want you to be with me." my eyes fluttered closed as I tried to convince myself this was true. I had told myself this to keep my true feelings about him to myself for so long that I caught myself believing it. The constant battle had raged in my head for far too long now, and it was time to finally settle it.

If I really hated him, would I be here now? No, because i don't hate him. I... I love him.

But the truth is so embarrassing! I shook my head and continued speaking. "I'd forget you in an instant because there's nothing memorable about you!" Suddenly I was angry at myself for not even being able to figure out my own feelings, so I let my anger explode in the form of hate.

"There isn't a single thing I like about you!" I yelled. "You'll sleep when you're not sleepy, and when you're sleepy you stay awake! I even hate the sound of your stomach growling! I HATE YOU!" I screamed the words out and felt them reverberating through the air. I panted and cradled my head in my arms, resting on the verge of tears. I had to say something else.

"The gods exist, and seven billion dreams will come true," My voice quivered as I looked up directly at the stone. "All strife will be resolved, the past is trivial, and life never ends." I felt a tear slip from my eye and down my face. "The sun rises from the west, and rabbits live on the moon." This little bit made me laugh just a little.

I inhaled deeply before continuing, my breath coming out in a puff. "And even though I hate you, you're still alive and breathing, so I could see you anytime I want if I ever wanted."

I sat back and stared at the flowers I set down earlier. What's wrong with me? I suddenly thought. Am I so insanse that I can't even come to terms with my own feelings?

I closed my eyes and began speaking. "Everything I just said... Is an utter lie."

After those words left my mouth, the truth came tumbling out of my mouth.

"The gods don't exist, and nearly all dreams will crumble," I said loudly. "Strife will continue to go on, the past cannot be changed, and every life comes to an end." The wind blew my hair all around my face, and suddenly uncontrollable tears were flowing.

"I love everything about you!" I yelled through sobs. "And I wanted us to be together forever!" As my crying got louder, the wind picked up.

"I've always liked you, and you make me happy! I've never had any reason to hate you!" My voice was escalating even more.

"I wanted to go with you, but I was afraid!" By then I was screaming. "I spent all those years hiding away my feelings because I was so afraid! All those years I was lonely! You're extremely important to me!" I sniffled and wiped away my tears, the wind now blowing furiously.

"Can you see me right now? I'm crying because of YOU! Why did you have to get in that stupid accident?!" Slowly the wind died down and I continued to sob. For awhile, the only sound was my wailing. Finally I mustered up the courage to say one last thing.

"Is this reaching you?" I whispered. Tears were still streaming down my face, but for some reason I was smiling. "If it is... thank you. Thank you so much." I sniffled, and my smile grew even wider as I uttered the words, "I love you."