Most Deserved Arrest
6 May 1998: Four days after the Battle of Hogwarts
The Ministry of Magic was still in unorganized shambles. Pius Thicknesse had been unanimously impeached and removed from his position as Minister of Magic by the Wizengamot High Court, convicted of being a Death Eater during Voldemort's rise to power, and was locked in Azkaban pending appeal, mere hours after the Battle of Hogwarts. Rights to an appeal were only granted due to Thicknesse's claim that he only followed Voldemort's orders under the influence of the Imperius Curse. A special election was held nation-wide two days after the Battle and the Auror Kingsley Shacklebolt, member of the Order of the Phoenix, was officially elected the new Minister of Magic.
It was three o' clock in the morning and the Ministry was silent except for a certain office on Level One. Dolores Jane Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister, had purposely snuck into the Ministry when no one would be there and was bustling about her office packing her belongings. She had a set of ghastly pink luggage open on her mahogany desk and she was in the process of filling them up. Umbridge had her wand out and was directing her decorative plates with pictures of various revoltingly cute kittens on them to be wrapped in pink silk and placed into the luggage. Once the last decorative plate had been packed, Umbridge began packing up all the contents of her desk and cabinet drawers. Pink parchment, pink quills, pink ink, pink folders, pink clipboards, pink interdepartmental memos, pink certificates, and pink spell-o-tape flew from all corners of the office into the luggage. Dolores Umbridge then bewitched her pink curtains and pink rug to fold themselves and fly into the largest piece of pink luggage. Once all her belongings were packed up, Umbridge cast the Wingardium Leviosa spell on the luggage, making it float ahead of her out of the room.
Umbridge guided her luggage down the hall to the lift and followed it in. She jabbed the Atrium button with her stubby finger and the lift descended. Umbridge's plan was to sneak into the ministry in the dead of night, place the night security under the Imperius Curse and order them to sleep, gather all her belongings, and flee the country before anyone was the wiser. She knew they would come for her. She'd worked out the plan months ago as a worst case scenario in the event of Potter's triumph over the Dark Lord. Since her fears had been realized, she had no choice but to get out while she could. Umbridge knew that with a Potter supporter and old friend of the late Albus Dumbledore's as Minister, she would not be left in peace.
The lift voice said, "The Atrium" and the grilles slid open to the wide Welcoming Corridor and Visitor's Reception Hall. Umbridge walked at a brisk pace toward the telephone booth that would take her up to the streets of London above, sparing a contemptuous glance at the hall's new statue. First thing Monday morning, the Magic is Might monument had been torn down and a new one had been put in its place. The new golden statue had Wizards in robes and cloaks and Muggles in dress clothes and t-shirts and jeans, standing in a circle holding hands around the words "Unity and Peace for all" printed on the ground in glowing multi-colored lettering. Dolores Umbridge, like so many who supported Lord Voldemort's regime, thought that Muggles were scum and Wizards and Witches should rise up and take control of the Muggles and forced them into their rightful place: slavery.
This new statue was another reason Umbridge knew her time at the ministry was at an end; she had not exactly built her career on equal rights; quite the opposite in reality. After fighting for years for stricter regulations against what she considered "filthy half-breeds:" Werewolves, Centaurs, and Merpeople mainly, she had a stint as a Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor and unacknowledged Headmistress of Hogwarts then went on to head the Muggle-Born Registration Commission. Pure-Blood Wizarding Superiority was indeed a theme Dolores had held in her life since she was a little girl, which was ironic because she was a Half-Blood. She hated her filthy Muggle Mother who left her and her Wizard father when she was only fifteen. Dolores Umbridge was so pleased to have been sorted into Slytherin House when she arrived as a student at Hogwarts, for Salazar Slytherin was one of her personal heroes.
Umbridge was about 30 feet away from the telephone booth when a voice spoke from the shadows.
"Good Morning, Dolores," said a familiar crisp yet cheerful voice. Umbridge drew her wand. "Expeliarmus!" the familiar voice cried. Umbridge's wand flew out of her hand and into the shadows, her hovering luggage crashed to the floor. Minerva McGonagall, new Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry stepped out of the shadows clutching Umbridge's wand. McGonagall was a tall thin witch wearing an emerald green cloak. Her grey hair was twisted into a tight bun at the top of her head and she wore square spectacles. "Are you going somewhere, Dolores?"
"M-M-Minerva," Umbridge stammered in her high girlish voice, nervously adjusting her gaudy pink shall, "w-what a pleasant surp-"
"Save it," snapped McGonagall curtly. "It was foolish of you to come here. Did you not think we had your office monitored? Your ignorance astounds even me." As McGonagall spoke, she slowly stepped forward. Even from a distance one could see that McGonagall would tower over short and squat Umbridge, had they been standing side by side.
"Minerva, I demand you give me back my wand this instant!" Umbridge said in an attempt to be bold. Professor McGonagall snapped the wand in two and threw it into one of the hundreds of fireplaces lining the hall. McGonagall pointed her own wand at it and the fireplace blazed to life, burning Umbridge's wand to ashes.
"HOW DARE YOU!?" Umbridge screeched.
"I assure you, Dolores, you won't need it where you are going," said McGonagall calmly, a smirk on her battle-worn face. Fear flashed across Umbridge's toad-like face.
"W-what exactly do you mean by th-that, M-Minerva?" Umbridge said in a breathless whisper.
"Miss Granger, read the parchment please," McGonagall answered, looking at someone behind Umbridge. Umbridge wheeled around and stared dumbfounded as none other than Hermione Granger, her former student and bane of her existence stepped forward out of the shadows followed closely by one of the Weasley twins who was missing an ear. Hermione had a big grin on her face although the Weasley was looking serious and a bit saddened.
"Where's your twin, boy?" asked Umbridge. George Weasley's hex tripped her feet out from under her and she landed on her fat arse.
"The only reason I came," George said, looking like he was trying to fight back tears, "was to make sure you got what you deserved once and for all, you toad-faced old hag!" Umbridge looked shocked and angry and George rolled his eyes. "Sorry, Professor," he said to McGonagall. Umbridge tried to stand but he shot another tripping hex at her.
"One should never apologize for speaking the truth, Mr. Weasley," said Professor McGonagall matter-of-factly. "Now the parchment if you please, Miss Granger."
"Certainly, Professor." Hermione took a piece of parchment out of her pocket and unfolded it. "We made sure it was in language you would recognize well," she informed Umbridge, speaking down to her. "'Ministry Reformation Decree number fourteen: Dolores Jane Umbridge, former Hogwarts High Inquisitor, former Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, former unauthorized Hogwarts Headmistress, is hereby formally released of her duties as Senior Undersecretary to the Minister. Furthermore, it is warranted that Madam Umbridge be arrested on the charges of Crimes Against Muggle-borns, Abuse and Slander of partial-human creatures, and conspiring with the terrorist known as Lord Voldemort and his followers known as Death Eaters to take over the Ministry. Suggested sentence for the accused: life in Azkaban Prison without the possibility of parole. Signed, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister for Magic. Witnessed, Minerva McGonagall, Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.'" Hermione folded the parchment back up and placed it in her pocket.
Umbridge stood rooted to the spot, speechless for once. She glanced from Hermione to George to McGonagall to the exit and back again. She did this several times, her eyes wide and bulging, then let out a high pitched gale of laughter. Umbridge ran as fast as her stubby little legs could carry her toward the telephone booth but she wasn't quick enough. McGonagall whipped her wand toward Umbridge and a golden strand of light hooked Umbridge around the middle. McGonagall jerked her wrist backward and Umbridge went flying back toward the center of the room, landing with a thud in the middle of the statue. Umbridge got to her feet again and ran toward the nearest fireplace.
"I think not, Dolores," McGonagall said sternly. She made a jabbing motion with her wand and Dolores Umbridge vanished. In her place was a large, fat, grotesquely poisonous looking pink toad. McGonagall raced forward and conjured a golden cage around the toad before it could hop away. She approached the cage smiling.
"I think that look suits you, Dolores," McGonagall said, barely containing her glee. "Well now that that's taken care of, I really should be getting back to Hogwarts where my Heads of Houses: Professors Sprout, Flitwick, Slughorn and of course Hagrid, our new Gryffindor head, are undertaking reconstruction of the School. Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley, could you two please escort the Madam Undersecretary to Azkaban?"
"It will be our pleasure, Professor," said Hermione, beaming from ear to ear. George smiled for the first time in four days.
McGonagall strode briskly across the hall, and then looked back. "Oh and Dolores," she spoke to the toad, "I think it only polite to inform you that the Minister's first act of Reformation was to dismiss the Dementors from Azkaban. I purged the castle of all Boggarts which will be the new Azkaban guards. If I remember correctly, I believe you have a particular fear of Centaurs? Cheers!" and McGonagall turned on her heel and disapparated. The pink toad leaped frantically around its cage, croaking furiously.