Hello, everyone! And welcome to my first fanfic (please don't hurt me), as well as the first ever Deadpool Corpse Party Crossover yay! A bunch of firsts happening, So let's get started! Oh, wait forgot. Disclaimer: Deadpool, and Corpse Party and their related comics, games, mangas, animes etc. are all respectively owned by their owners, and... Oh, who the fuck reads these disclaimers anyway. You know I don't own them, so no need to state it. Ok, so we are good to go so no- Wait what? What is it, John? Oh, I am forgetting one more thing? Oh, that. Yep, my mistake You guy's need to know as to which voices in Deadpool's head are who, and how to identify them... (Also please do not berate me if I get any comic facts wrong or have the characters slightly out of character, I am only human and I would much rather be told kindly. Just for an FYI)
All text that is normal and in quotes such as "Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum" represents Deadpool and or any character depending on who is described to be talking.
All text in bold and italicized with quotes such as "Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum" represents Deadpool's insane voice.
And all text that is italicized in quotes such as "Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum" represents Deadpool's more logical voice.
Alright, that's it! I hope you all enjoy! Please make sure you post reviews and comment on how much you liked it, and or any constructive criticism you may have! Also a big shoutout to my good friend who was the inspiration for me creating this story! If you are reading this, you know who you are and I hope you enjoy! Now let's have some fun!
ＳＡＣＨＩ ＩＳ ＭＹ ＰＲＩＤＥ ＡＮＤ ＪＯＹ
Ｓｈｅ`ｄ ｄｏ ａｎｙｔｈｉｎｇ ｆｏｒ ｍｅ
Ｉ ｄｏｎ`ｔ ｔｈｉｎｋ ｓｈｅ ｅｖ-
"Hey, narrator! We don't give a shit about this fucking snooze fest of an intro! The only thing that needs introductions here is me!" The man in question was a mercenary clad in red spandex. He was fitted out with a mask, and two Katanas and two Desert Eagles
"One more thing narrator, it's really important! Let's not forget this, shall we? Come on, goddammit... My fucking name! It's Deadpool dammit!" The mercenary exclaimed.
"Your name is literally plastered all over the place, I think we and the readers could already identify you at the 'red spandex' portion. Also, the writer here is trying to build suspense. Besides, that's how Corpse Party began; might as well give this some suspenseful intro." One of Deadpool's voices chimed in with.
"No one cares! We aren't here for bullshit intros. We are here to kick ass, and see some T&A because we are doing a Japanese game crossover! You don't go walking into Japanese shit, without finding some form of T&A. Bring on the Tits and Ass dammit!"
"Hell yes, do I need some fucking tits and ass! We are crossing over with a Japanese game god dammit! Bring on the hentai tentacle porn blowjobs galore! And speaking of which, good pal/frenemy/contract/lover of mine is arriving but don't tell him that last part. I won't spoil his name, but I can tell you that he's jumping in a movie of mine and it's gonna be fun. On top of that, in certain universes he can actually give you such a good hentai tentacle porn blowjob. And here he is!"
But there was no sign of anyone at the apartment door, no knock, no doorbell ringing, no nothing.
"Did you really think that he would be there right that sec-
And with that, there was a knock at the door. Followed with a voice of an older individual.
"Hello? Wade? I got your message, I am SERIOUSLY going to hope this is for something important or serious. Although by now I should know that almost nothing you do is serious... You don't seem to even take your contracts seriously."
"I stand corrected... I suppose you were right about tha- wait a second... I bet you set that up. Someway somehow." One of Deadpool's voices stated with a bit of surprise and skepticism.
Deadpool very simply smirked, one big enough to have had been seen if someone were in the room with him.
"I guess you can say me and the narrator, were in a quote on quote cahoots there."
"Oh damn son! You were able to coordinate that! And Whitey you gotta stop being such a Debbie downer bitchy pessimist! You aren't helping here."
"Yeah! Thanks, yellow! Although, you two are stuck being bold and italics. But you could also say I did a little hocus pocus Magic as well to pull it off. And yeah whitey, if you can't be a working member of society here then I will be forced to send you to back to Canada! And there won't be an apology on the way there!"
With the word 'hocus pocus Magic' Deadpool began to swirl his hands around in a silly looking way, to emphasize his point. But the voice simply scoffed this off.
"Well, then I would call bullshit on that, besides you need a voice of logic, and reasoning as well as a realist view of things. You may call it petty pessimism, but I am simply being a pragmatist here."
"And this is why we are not real, have hundreds of comics made, have been featured in many video game, animated TV shows, have had one HELL OF A GREAT MOVIE, and have had thousands of fanfics made of us, including this one," Deadpool said, brushing off the voice in his head.
The voice from outside knocked once again and spoke up again.
"Hello? Wade? I can hear you in there, please open up the door. Unless you did that as a pr-" The man's voice cut off there, as if he realized something then simply a let out a sigh and what was probably a face palm occurred as the man pondered for a moment. This was then followed by footsteps as well, and a greeting from another man, definitely younger.
"Oh, uhh hello there. I was not expecting a man like you to be here. Well, Deadpool did say that others were coming. So I guess you are here for Deadpool too?"
This was responded to by the older individual with.
"Yes, Wade stated it was something of importance, although he still has not opened up the door. So I can't say for certain if he is there, or if he will open up. Also, wait a second are you a part of HYDRA?"
Deadpool with that out of the way rubbed his hands together and exclaimed.
"Alrighty lads! I am ready, just needed to do some pampering up and preparations because this is going to be fun a fun main trilogy fanfic series! Also hey! Weasel! If you are done with whatever the fuck you do with your doohickeys, you should get your ass up here! I got some fun ready!"
"Oh boy, wonder what that's supposed to mean..."
"Oh come on! We were thinking this shit up for weeks! How could you forget!"
"Have to keep it a surprise for the readers. Create suspense for what is going to go down."
"You do know that everyone here who played Corpse Party or watched it's anime or read it's manga probably know what we are all going to do right? You're not causing suspense doing this."
"Alright, whatever I guess the readers can go off and scream and yell at the screen trying to tell us not to do what they think we are going to do, but that is not happening because that would not be fun, no need to be a buzzkill party pooper in this Dead Corpse Pool Party! Get it like a pool party? But it's dead and it's a corpse party? I don't know, it may be the title of this damn story and making a title drop double pun joke, thing, sounded good on paper." Deadpool said shrugging his shoulders when he stated the Dead- The title... He stated the title.
"Well, as they always say..."
"Oh dear god you brought it up..."
"Every party needs a pooper that's why they invited you... Party pooper... Party pooper..."
"Hey! I am trying not to be that guy in my own damn fanfic! Anywho, yes my two good sirs at the entrance of my lovely esteemed abode I am coming! Sheesh, you two are so damn clingy... Also, Weasel, come on up here we got our visitors! And you are invited!"
And with that Deadpool literally swung the door open at full force, unveiling an older massive looking fellow whom on the left side of his body consisted of robotic, bionic parts. And beside him was a definitely younger individual dressed in the infamous green and yellow suit of HYDRA. He looked incredibly unintimidating, and no we are not talking villain suit suddenly makes you look unintimidating, we mean literally everything is pathetic about him and even though he is armed he looks like he couldn't even scare a kid if he was holding them hostage kind of pathetic.
"Yo! Cable, Bob! Great to see ya' here, come in, come in everything is set up." Deadpool stated excitedly. Waltzing on over to where he 'set up' the important business.
"Nice apartment you got here... Definitely looks all set up, set up as in everything thrown everywhere and disorganized as all hell, with the area you set up for this moment being so cluttered it barely can even be identified as the place to be at."
"Check! We are looking good captain!"
"Let's have a seat now, shall we? Also Weasel! How many fucking times do I need to tell you to get your ass up here! I know you are doing nice things for me down there, but right now I am trying to do nice things for you!"
That is when Cable interjected as he was trying to sit where he thought he was supposed to sit.
"Wade, if I may. Before we do anything else, may you please tell me what the hell is going on and why you need us here?"
Deadpool was having none of that, though.
"Summers, as wise men once said. Patience is a virtue, as well as that god damn annoying tingly feeling you get when you really need to take a piss and you are miles away from a bathroom. The point is, be patient for christ's sakes and wait your turn in line like everyone else I have about 42 other people on the line and they need to be handled."
And with that from below, a man with round glasses and black hair emerged from a set of stairs that was where he worked. He also had a bit of a stubble on his face and was wearing an average blue sweater.
"Huh, oh yeah well hello to you too... You know I am doing all this shit for you? I would much rather you ask kindly and not do whatever you have planned now? You know like friends? And hey, Bob and hello there Cable, I see you got a little gang here, what are we going to do? Extort the Girl Scouts for their cookies again?" He asked with a sarcastic tone. Adjusting his glasses, and tinkering with a device.
"Unfortunately, it's the only way we can get cookies from them anymore."
"At least we don't need to pay for those anymore! Free Girl Scout cookies are good and delicious!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep up the good work pal. Anyway, now, the moment of truth has arrived since Weasel has finally scurried his ass over here. I can now, unveil to you all my grand master plan that I ingeniously created to show just how much I love you all as friends!" And with that Deadpool proceeded to rummage through his... Spots... Looking for whatever the hell he had in there...
"That you pulled straight out of your ass, while might I add scouring Japan for all of its perverted hentai."
"You have to admit it was good hentai, and those women had bombs of boobs, you gotta find the right ones."
And with that, he pulled out a small paper white doll from... Questionable places... He slammed it down and excitedly said.
"Now! You must all be wondering what the fuck I pulled out of my nether regions, first, it's story time! Spoopy story awaits thee at the corner!" Fiddling his fingers around in a half-assed attempt to be funny. This was met with Cable shaking his head, this was the Deadpool that he had come to lov- like a lot. Although this was one of those moments where he was getting annoyed.
"Wade, what the hell are you trying to-"
"Summers! Shut the fuck up for one second for christ's sakes I am trying to tell a story! Do not interrupt story time, unless you want to be sent to your room young man!"
"Yeah, no one interrupts story time!"
Then suddenly, the lights went out and it started to rain and thunderstorm and a candle was lit and set as the only light visible, as if on cue for peculiar reasons. Besides, Deadpool holding a flashlight to his face to give the cheap scary effect that you would do when telling a ghost story around a fire.
"AKA doing cheap, poor writing to make things convenient."
"Oh shut up head! I didn't ask for any 'tude from you, so go fuck off and go jack off to some hentai," Deadpool said to himself as he then cleared his throat and began to speak. "Now boys, It was a rainy evening, just like this one... Running down the stairs, some clumsy, ditzy ass teacher lost her footing going down some stairs. From which she tumbled, and she fell... And she died. Oooh" Saying this while melodramatically trying to make the story sound scary, continuing he said and trying to do those cheap ghost sounding sounds. Cable looked annoyed and skeptical of what was going on, HYDRA Bob actually was scared of the story and was biting his nails over it, and Weasel was just listening to it as a friend and just found it as a joke. Deadpool then continued.
"... You've all heard the stories, no? Well, of course, you haven't Jesus H. Christ I am telling you it now unless you are just a nerd for weeb ghost stories from Japan. Anyway, this was before some school was built on top of it blah, blah, blah, the old school was named Heavenly Host Elementary because obviously, the writers of this fucking game needed some haunted school name. Now, as a result, the principal of this school was completely in tears bawling his eyes out bitching about it, not because he cared for the woman but because it would taint his school's reputation because schools need to have a record of no death's because parents apparently don't like schools with people dying, sounds like a bunch of party poopers to me. So he cared for that school almost as if it were his own child, you see because the principal was a loner who got bullied in school and had no life and needed something to love. But because life is such a bitch, and will not give anyone a fucking break, one thing lead to another after the incident. AKA a bunch of dark stuff... And ultimately, a decision was reached. The school was to be shut down because a bunch of pussies decided because people die and get injured and even though it was not caused by the school itself it was 'unsafe'. Now if you may remember we have Mr. Principal loner I am going to love my school so much that I would jack off to it as well as fuck it, was stricken with so much grief over losing his precious child that on the day of its closure... He climbed up to its roof and threw himself to his death... Because that school was his life and he could not live without it... Or so the story goes oooh scary..." With that, Bob gasped in fear and Deadpool used the opportunity to continue.
"People thought Heavenly Host was cursed, you see. This was just the latest of many deaths to occur there. That's why it was torn down... However! Hear this guys you are gonna love thi-" Deadpool was then interrupted by Cable who seemed quite annoyed.
"Wade, I know you love to go off and say a bunch of unrelated crap that means nothing. But what does this have to do with anything? And why is it important?" Cable in a slightly irritated voice.
"He has a point, you essentially just put your own spin on the story that began this series in the first place." Deadpool ignored the voice but responded to Cable.
"Well, my good friend Cable, I am glad you asked even though you interrupted me... You remember that white doll, that is still on that table? Well since you all have a special place in my nether regions I thought we would do this charm I found out about when I was umm, googling stuff about Japan... For research purposes... And it is called the "Sachiko Ever After" charm, basically, by doing this charm we will become best friends forever, we will all stand around in an intimate circle where we can hear each other breathe we will all in our heads say 'Sachiko, We Beg Of You' 4 times each. Ok? Ok, then boy's let's do this!" Deadpool said as he was prepared to get started.
Cable although was one of the first to interject before anything was done.
"This is what was important? Are you serious Wade? You know what... Fine, I know how much we mean to one another. So I might as well... But wait, what happens if one of us messes this 'charm' up? Will something horrible happen?" Sounding irritated and annoyed, but then lightning up his tone later on.
"Meh, it's probably nothing. But pwease don't fuck it up guys ok? It's important to me." Deadpool stated in a childish tone of voice.
"You know what, sure fine I am in. We have been friends for a long time, I might as well do it to show my sign of appreciation." Weasel said.
"Umm, yeah that sounds fine. Also, it would be my honor to do this Mr. Deadpool especially since you feel that way about me." Bob said, still a bit nervous from Deadpool's story earlier.
"Hey wait, what about us! Shouldn't we be saying it 6 times for us two voices in your head!?" One of Deadpool's voices exclaimed with discontent written all over it.
"1. We are only voices in Deadpool's head 2. We don't have hands. So, unfortunately, we cannot do the ritual, yet I think in his heart he thinks that about us."
"Yeah, I guess it is like a love-hate relationship with you two up there... Anyway, boy's let's go start doing it now!" Deadpool stated out loud with excitement riddled in it.
Sachiko, we beg of you...
Sachiko, we beg of you...
Sachiko, we beg of you...
"Alright, you guys done?" Deadpool asked. They all nodded and said, "Yes, I have."
"Ok then, now everybody reach for the paper doll and grab ahold of it anywhere you can," Deadpool stated. And they all grabbed at it.
"Now, hold on reeeeally tight, dig your nails into it if you have to - just don't let go. We're going to pull on it until it rips apart into 4 pieces, ok? And if you let go and don't rip it, I will rip you into 4 pieces. On the count of 3. One...two...two and a quarter...three!" And with that they all tore it apart, Weasel ended up with the biggest piece. Deadpool then added saying.
"Now, make sure you keep that scrap of the paper safe, put it somewhere where you won't accidentally have it fall out of wherever and drop it in a pile of shit ok? No one likes to get their stuff out of a pile of shit." Unsurprisingly, lighting struck just after they tore it apart. Deadpool then proceeded to put his scrap, in his dick area. Cable put it in one of his many pouches, Bob put his in an ammo pouch, and Weasel put it in his pocket.
"Aww, this is so heartwarming. If I had eyes I would cry right now."
"Not really, this is just a bunch of men ripping up a white paper doll hoping it would allow them to be friends for-" Just then suddenly, the world, AKA Just Deadpool's Apartment began violently shaking. And this wasn't one of your small daily occurrence earthquakes, nuh uh. This was a 'holy shit we are going to die kind'
"Hey, narrator! I was about to say that!" Deadpool yelled out while being quite ignorant of his surroundings and the fact that it was shaking at a rate that should have knocked him off his feet.
By this point, light bulbs and anything sitting on the various furniture in the apartment was knocked over.
"Come on narrator are you serious!? Stop trashing my shit!" He yelled up again in vain.
"You asked for it, quite literally. That is what happens when you try to do this."
"Are you kidding me?! WADE WHAT THE HELL DID YOU MAKE US DO!?" Cable by now was infuriated and even as the floors were shaking, he gripped Deadpool by his neck. While Weasel and Bob, were both gripping onto each other trying to keep themselves upright.
"Ehheheh, well uh... Sounds to me like someone did it wrong... I told you someone shoul-" Deadpool was saying until it was at that moment when suddenly the floor underneath them collapsed and created a large blackish like void underneath them. This lead Deadpool to jump upwards into Cable's grip which seemed like Cable was cradling Deadpool in his giant arms.
"Daddy I'm scared pwease hold me, daddy! I dun't wanna die today!" Deadpool melodramatically said as Cable held onto him.
"Wade I am not your dad!"
"Also the fall won't kill you..."
"We don't care it's still a massi-"
It was then that all of them began to fall in. And in unison, everyone began screaming on the way down unfortunately it being drowned out by the darkness below, then everyone fell unconscious as the darkness of the void was replaced by the void of unconsciousness. They all did not know, to the extent of what they had just gotten themselves into and what trials they would face for the future...
It was at that moment, Deadpool came back to his senses yet it was still dark. Then before he could say anything he surprisingly was able to land an almost, perfect landing into the wooden floorboards below. Even though it was extremely dark in the room.
"Hoo boy was that a ride. So where the fuck are we exactly?" Deadpool stated as suddenly the lights flickered on.
"That was convenient... Because of course, we need to see where the hell we are going because blindly walking around is no fun." Deadpool began to look around to get a bearing of his surroundings, and he was greeted with a very old looking, destroyed, disorganized remains of what was probably a school classroom.
"You see, my place was nothing compared to this shithole of whatever the fuck it was!" Deadpool retorted about earlier.
"Doesn't mean you should live like that... You could always ACTUALLY clean it up."
"Who cares, we are above manual labor! This is why we should hire a maid or butler."
"Hell yeah! Hire a butler like Sebastian, or Alfred! That would be sweet. Finally, I would not have to worry about it in the first place anymore and he would be a badass too just like me!" Deadpool excitedly stated out loud.
"I think you are forgetting something Mr. Badass hotshot, it is on the other side of the classroom."
"No, we are not, we are totally good to go!"
"Yes we are, and we are totally not good to go."
"Hey, guys Cable is on the other side of the classroom! Thank god, for a second there I thought I would have to wander these damned halls aimlessly myself. Yo wakey, wakey Summers, you up? Or am I going to have to wake you up myself? Don't make me come over there." With that, Deadpool began storming over there as if he were a parent and was about to go over to Cable and simply had to move a desk. But when he tried pushing the desk out of the way, which appeared simple enough. Though it would not budge, no matter how hard Deadpool pushed.
"Oh great, I forgot how these god damn RPG games work... DAMN YOU RPG GAME DESIGN!" Deadpool exclaimed while shaking his fist up to the sky.
"This is a load of bullshit, who the hell does stuff like this?!"
"Every RPG game ever..."
"Well guess what? Screw every RPG game ever! Because, TELEPORT." And with that Deadpool pressed the button on his teleporter, and he ended up right next to Cable's body on the ground.
"Haha! Loopholes! Now wake the fuck up Nathan, before I bitch slap the shit out of you!" He stated as he went in the position too. But then before he could Cable blinked and finally began to rise his giant frame up, as it seems the teachers stand took quite the beating from his landing, he began to rub his head looking around.
"Heya, anyway so we are now in some fucking old fashioned school that looks like the Hulk smashed all over it in the bottomless pit of wherever the hell this is..."
"You didn't even look for them."
"Well, if they aren't with you, they are most likely dead or somewhere else."
"That is the complete opposite of how to handle the situation, they probably ended up somewhere else in this school..."
"Huh, why am I not surprised this would have lead to something crazy... Do you have an- ARE YOU SERIOUS WADE?!" Cable then saw Deadpool pulling out a rocket launcher out of his magic satchel and about to fire into the window nearby.
"YES I AM TOTALLY SERIOUS HERE CABLE, WE NEED TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE I COULD CARELESS ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK THIS PLACE IS, AND I DON'T INTEND TO STAY, NOW GET BACK!"
"Woohoo blowing shit up already!"
"Oh great, we are totally going in with a bang alright..."
Then with that Deadpool fired the rocket straight at the wall. Giving off a mighty explosion that produced a loud bang, and a shockwave that rocked the immediate vicinity in this dark world. As it seems though somehow, the explosion did not cause any damage, much to the shock and dismay of Deadpool and Cable to a lesser extent. But what came afterwards was interesting, the explosion was shortly followed by a girl's screams and a bit of a garbled male voice in the distance,
"Oi! Shin... It's ok I am righ... sounds li... there..."
"Shit! How the hell does this god damn rocket launcher not break down that wall?! That was like the biggest thing I could fire!" Deadpool said irritatedly, with surprise as well in his voice.
"I know right! What is this wall made out of? Adamantium that looks like wood?! And Adamantium that looks like glass?"
"No, and no. I think whatever this place is... It is really serious about keeping us in here..."
"Hey Wade, you might want to see something. I suppose your story paid off after all for something..." It was then that Cable tapped Deadpool's shoulder, while he was still in shock over the rocket. It was a notice on the wall that Deadpool paid no attention too. Cable crossed his arms as he gave Deadpool the paper. Towering over him.
The header read, 'Heavenly Host Elementary - Notice to All Faculty and Students' with this Deadpool's eyes lit up.
"Dayum, this is some spoopy shit right here... Welp... Sounds like we failed the damn ritual and ended up in the ghostly named school... That's just fanfuckingtastic! Also, I just realized this text which is supposed to be Japanese is out in English... You know I can read Japanese just fine right?!" Deadpool stated, but then continued to read with reluctance. It continued to read 'Due to the recent kidnappings, caution is highly recommended during all daily activities. In each instance, the victim was taken quickly and unexpectedly, so please remain alert and aware at all times. - Principal Takamine Yanagihori
"Eek, now we got to escape out of a probably haunted school! Ooh, this is going to be fun and scary!"
"Also technically the readers need to be able to read it as well... So we left it in English..."
"Well, either way, we are stuck here now and if we are going to have any chance at escaping this damn school, we need to find your friends and figure out how to the fuck out of here. Although this kidnapping doesn't sound good, I wonder what happened here..." Cable said, in a more or less calm tone. Although he was annoyed that he was dragged into this. But before they could do anything, the stereotypical RPG game maker character info screen pop-
"No, hell to the no, get us out of this, none of this matters, you guys should know the cast of Corpse Party and us by now. So get this annoying floating fucking camera eyeball away from us! Shoo shoo!" And with that, it went through the door and back to where our anti-hero and hero of this part our story, were just previously.
"Thank Jesus! Now let's examine that cabinet over there, can't leave out detail in these game's ya' know? Gotta explore it all!" Deadpool rambled on with.
He then ran up, to the cabinet like a child to an ice-cream truck and quipped.
"It's just as I thought doc', it's full of overflowing long, black hair. Sounds like they were running a barber shop here too, think Ice Cube dropped by here?"
"Maybe! You never know."
"No, he did not..."
"Let me see that..." Cable said as he walked up to it, and saw it as well.
"Well, that is just great. Great hobby whoever stuffed those in there, must have had." Cable stated as he began to walk out.
"Well Cable, it's time to haul ass and get out of here." Deadpool said surprisingly optimistic about the situation. Beginning to walk out as well.
It was going to be a long, perilous journey to find the way out, but with Deadpool no matter how unorthodox the path, surprisingly his madness, may just be the light needed to guide the way.
(And that is it! Thank's so much for reading this, prepare for the 2nd chapter hopefully soon enough! Remember to review and comment!)