A/N:First Pokemon story... it's supposed to be nonsense, my brother made me write it. I do not own Pokemon, Putt-Putt and Pep's Balloon-O-Rama (a kids' game, owned by Humongous Entertainment), HUMMER, Green Eggs and Ham, the name Rumplestiltskin, and anything else recognizable. I own the characters Rose, Sara, John, and Don.
Pokémon plays Putt-Putt and Pep's Balloon-O-Rama
One fine day in the middle of the night, two sleepy coordinators got up to fight. Back to back, they faced each other, drew their Pokéballs and attacked the other…oh wait, that's the wrong story.
The real story begins one day in La Rousse City. Somehow, May, Misty, Dawn, Ash, Brock, Max, and Gary were all passing through. Drew lived there, so he was definitely there, too. Somehow, they all met up.
I, the author, asked, "Why are all the cities named after colors?"
"La Rousse is not a color," said Ash.
"Ash, you idiot!" screamed Misty. "La Rousse is French for 'the russet red one'"
At this charming city, there was a Putt-Putt and Pep's Balloon-O-Rama game contest. Everybody except Drew, Gary, and Max were joining for fun. Drew and Gary were joining to shove it in the faces of their rivals that they won or beat them. Max didn't even sign up. He said it was too immature.
As all but Drew (who had already signed up) were doing so, the guy at the reception counter said, "Don't know why you're even signing up. This kid's won this thing for four years running, five counting this one."
At the actual competition, there were only three people there aside from the previously mentioned: Drew (obviously), a five-year-old girl by the name of Rose, and a fifteen-year-old girl by the name of Sara. The guy at the reception counter, Rumplestiltskin (AKA John), was also announcer.
"Hello everyone!" said John. "Welcome. Your computers are booted up and the game has been opened. Please type your name into the slot. They will appear on the board."
He was right. There was a board with three columns: the first one was "Name", the second one was "Level", and the last one was "Score". Drew's name popped up first, then Ash's, then Gary, May, Misty, Brock and Dawn followed. Somewhere in between, Rose and Sara were there.
John said, "On the count of three, press go and play away! One… Two… Three!"
The room went silent, save for the sound of popping balloons. After a half hour of playing, the results looked like this:
Drew 37 547040
Ash 35 510003
Rose 14 003412
Gary 30 276342
May 41 555555
Misty 28 261231Sara 32 276353
Brock 21 093458
Dawn 16 010003
After about an hour and a half since John said they could start, May finished. Since there was a rule about being able to talk once you were done and annoy people around you to make them lose, that's just what May did. Because this was La Rousse City, she talked in French, too, as a confusion tactic.
"Bonjour, Drew!" she exclaimed to Drew, sitting next to her. "Ça va?" (Translation: Hello, Drew! How are you?)
Drew was distracted, and he missed a bonus catch. His eye twitched, distracting him more. He needed these things if he wanted to win. He was also upset that May was the first person to finish. That was usually him! Unfortunately, that distracted him even more and then he missed five bonus items, which distracted him even more, and so on and so on. This wasn't Drew's day.
"Drew, le pant c'est bleu-verte et démodé! Le vest c'est violet, trés démodé, et un peu grand," said May. (Translation: Drew, your pants are blue-green and unstylish. Your jacket is purple, very unstylish, and a little big.) Drew twitched. He had no idea where May learned all this French. Not to mention she had called him unstylish (in French, nonetheless)! This caused Drew to miss some more things, and he even lost a life!
"Gary! Bonjour! Ça va?" asked May to Gary. (Translation: Gary! Hello! How are you?) Gary was on the last level, and finished just when May talked to him.
"Oui, ça va. Et toi?" responded Gary (which was where May had learned her French- she borrowed Gary's book). (Translation: Yes, I am good. And you?)
"Trés, trés, trés, trés, trés, trés, très bien, mai paz exactimo super!" replied May. (Translation: Very, very, very, very, very, very good, but not quite super!) "Drew c'est trés démodé." (Translation: Drew is very unstylish.)
"Oui, c'est démodé," said Gary. (Translation: Yes, it is unstylish.) Drew finished the game then.
"No démodé!" insisted Drew. "C'est trés á la mode!"(Translation: Not unstylish! It is very stylish!)
"Démodé!"
"Á la mode!"
"Démodé!"
"Á la mode!"
"Démodé!"
"Á la mode!"
"Démodé!"
"Á la mode!"
"Démodé!"
"Á la mode!"
"Démodé!"
"Á la mode!"
"Démodé!"
"Á la mode!"
"Démodé!"
"Á la mode!"
"Á la mode!"
"Démodé!"
"Hah, you agree with me!"
"Oh, cheese doodles."
"Would you two shut up?" asked Misty, who had just finished.
Sara wondered out loud, "Are they always like this? Oh! I know, they've probably just had a lover's spat!
"We're not in love!" exclaimed both Drew and May. Gary looked down at his book. It said that démodé meant unstylish and á la mode meant stylish, but it said nothing about using them during an argument. (Actually, I've had an argument or two almost exactly like this.) Eventually, everybody finished the game. The eventual board looked like this (they all did better than I did, even the 5-year-old!):
Drew 120 999049
Ash 120 999909
Rose 120 753451
Gary 120 999049
May 120 999999 (1)
Misty 120 998996
Sara 120 996633
Brock 120 945123
Dawn 120 812398
"Congratulations, everyone!" exclaimed John. "You have all beaten the author at this game, who has a wimpy score of-"
That's quite enough, John, AKA RUMPLESTILTSKIN!
"You know I hate that name!" exclaimed John.
Yeah? Well, I don't like it when my score is proclaimed to the world! Rumplestiltskin muttered something incomprehensible about hating the fact he was an original character. He tore off his outfit (a red t-shirt and jeans) to reveal a flamingo-pink ballerina costume, complete with a tutu. He break-danced to my friend Don's poor rapping, which mostly involved stuff about gangsters and how annoying I am. Rumplestiltskin tore his ballerina tights, revealing his underpants…
"No!!! Don't tell them about my underpants!" screamed John.
…Which were…
"Please! Have mercy!"
Pink-
"Nooooooooo!"
-Fluffy-
"I promise I won't tell everyone your sore score!"
-And showed pictures of-
"I won't tell your score if you don't tell them what's on my underwear!"
Deal! John magically found himself out of the ballerina clothes, back into his normal clothes, and being referred to as John again.
He proceeded with the procession. I magically made trophies appear on a stand.
As he held up bronze, silver, and gold medals, he said, "Third place for finishing early goes to Drew!
"Second place for finishing early goes to Gary!
"First place for finishing early, complete with a certificate for one free meal at any restaurant in Hoenn, goes to May!
"Okay, folks! Those are the prizes for finishing early! Now onto the prizes for efficient level points!" exclaimed John, holding up more medals.
"Third place is a tie between Gary and Drew!
"Second Place goes to May!
"First place with a certificate for five meals in any restaurant in La Rousse goes to Ash, with a score of over 100000 points for each level!
"Okay, everybody, now it's time for…" said John, droning on. There wasn't a person who didn't win anything, which means everyone won something. Then John got on to something that the readers were actually interested in.
"Hey!" exclaimed John. He picked up the three remaining trophies. "These are for best score! Third place, with a Make-Your-Own Ribbon ™ set, is a tie between Drew and Gary, congrats!
"Second place, with a bicycle, is Ash!
"And last but not least, with first place, the game ribbon, and a certificate to the local hatchery, May!"
Everybody cheered, and Misty shouted, "Remember that you still owe me a bicycle!", which made everybody laugh.
Said Brock, "Ash, I think you should obey Misty. After all, you don't want to be hit by that mallet…"
Dawn asked, "Will you tell me about Misty's mallet sometime? It sounds like a good story."
After the competition, May went to the local hatchery and got a Charmander. It was a cute baby. John didn't like his life as an announcer, so he quit and decided to go work in Johto Hummer with Mumble, who had the job before him. The owner of the contest was upset, though, because he needed to find another person for the job. It was the second announcer he lost to Hummer! On his days off, he works with me; so if I get writer's block, blame it on John! They all lived happily ever after (except for the contest owner, who still hasn't found an announcer) until the green eggs and ham incident.
The End.
A/N: Please review, even if you're just saying that you liked or disliked part one.