A/N: So this is my late attempt at joining naruhina month 2016? I'm not really sure if I'm doing this right, but well, anyway, here goes nothing. I'll probably add to this if I manage to stay the course for the remaining days. Honestly I should be doing 24 today but 23 just seemed like so much fun.
Summary: Naruhina drabbles for Naruhina month 2016. 23. Scars: "Why don't you look me in the eyes anymore?" "Some scars remind us of something beautiful."
Disclaimer: NARUTO is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. The lyrics at the beginning and end of the fic are from the lullaby, "Lavender's Blue".
~x~
Lavender's blue, dilly dilly,
Lavender's green
When you are king, dilly dilly,
I shall be queen
~x~
23. Scars
From "Rock-a-Bye Baby" to "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star", Hinata had desperately been trying to sing baby Boruto to sleep but to no avail. Naruto winces painfully; pausing from brushing his teeth as Boruto's shrill crying leapt to a new octave, echoing throughout the household. He quickly resumes brushing, determined to finish so he could take over for his wife who was now desperately begging their son to go to sleep.
Hinata went silent – he figures she had probably exhausted all of her lullaby options – but then she finally restarts again with a different lullaby; a new one that he hadn't heard her sing before.
"Lavender's blue, dilly, dilly, lavender's green..."
As he swishes his mouth and spits into the sink, he notes that Boruto had suddenly – and finally – gone quiet.
"When you are king, dilly, dilly, I shall be queen…"
Hinata's angelic voice greets him as he steps out of the bathroom and into the hallway. Immediately, he feels his heart tug in response to her siren song and like a puppet on a string, he follows.
Quietly, he treads down the hallway – "who told you so, dilly, dilly, who told you so?" – and stops in front of the doorway before slowly pushing it open.
"'Twas my own heart, dilly, dilly," Hinata's pearl eyes look up at him as he pads quietly into the baby room and she smiles as she finishes the final cadence, "that told me so."
He draws closer and observes Hinata, who is worn-out but satisfied, cradling a fast-asleep Boruto in the crook of her arm.
'He's asleep?' He mouths to her and she nods in response, gently rocking Boruto in her arms as she stands up from the rocking chair and cautiously approaches the crib. Boruto's face crumples as he lets out a protesting squeal and she freezes before finally relaxing as he goes quiet; slowly setting him down and pulling his baby blanket over him.
The corners of her eyes crinkle adoringly as she places a hand over Boruto's rising and falling chest, wonder and awe shining in the pearl of her eyes at the thought that this baby was theirs to raise, to care for, to love.
"Do you want me to keep the light on?" Naruto whispers from the doorway, feeling that maybe Hinata wanted to spend more time with their sleeping son but she shakes her head, gently patting Boruto one more time, before pulling away and joining her husband.
She relaxes into his sturdy embrace as he turns off the light, closes the door and whisks her away into the privacy of their bedroom.
"You did a good job in there," he compliments her as he closes their bedroom door behind them and hugs her from behind, placing a chaste kiss on the crown of her head. She smiles softly in return.
"What was that last lullaby?" He was making casual conversation but she soon realizes that his hands have something else in mind as they sneak underneath the hem of her shirt and trail up her stomach, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.
"I've never heard it before-ttebayo." Her breath hitches in her throat as he continues to whisper against the cone of her ear. Instinctively, she rolls her head back to allow him more access as his lips travel down the milky column of her neck down to her protruding collarbone; shivers giggling down her spine as he leaves a trail of warm kisses searing her cool skin. Her breathing shallows and she observes her reflection in their bedroom mirror; face flush and pearl eyes glazed over with wanton desire.
She wants more - she realizes – more of this, more of him.
"Naruto-kun…" she calls out his name hungrily, aching for him to fulfill her lustful wishes, but is sucked back to reality when she feels his rough hands begin to undo the clasp of her bra.
"No!" She suddenly jolts away from him and rushes to fix her tousled clothing and long raven locks before turning to face her surprised husband.
"I-I mean," she coughs awkwardly before straightening herself, "just not tonight…I'm…I'm tired."
His eyes blink rapidly as he tries to process what had just happened but finally he nods dumbly in acceptance. She could still see the surprise reflected in the sea of his eyes and the crushing weight of guilt causes her to avert her gaze away from him to the wooden flooring.
"Yea, no problem," he ruffles his short blonde locks embarrassedly, cheeks reddening at his failed attempt at intimacy, "you're right, you're probably tired from dealing with Boruto all day."
"Un," she nods, but her expression is still apologetic and Naruto clasps her hands in his, smiling reassuringly.
"Let's just sleep," she nods again but even as he pulls her to bed and wraps himself around her, she feels cold.
And even as he draws closer, she feels far away.
Naruto slides underneath the duvet covers, heaving a tired sigh after another tiresome night of coaxing Boruto to sleep but now that he had succeeded in his mission the one thing on his mind was to snuggle up close to his wife.
And he has no qualms in doing just that as he draws close and spoons her from behind. He wraps his arms around her and presses a cool kiss to the back of her neck, eliciting a shudder from her.
"Hinata…" he calls out to her in a voice thick with lust and she feels her insides erupt with fiery desire in response, her nerves coiling and tightening with white-hot electricity as his fingers dance and skip up her arm up to the hem of her collar.
She feels him slowly undo the buttons of her pajamas and his name hangs on the tip of her tongue before she stiffens and hastily pulls up her collar; immediately halting his roaming hands.
"G-good night Naruto-kun!" Her voice is uncharacteristically abrupt but definitive and she squeezes her eyes shut, confident that she couldn't bear to face him and see the look on his face. She can tell that he is frozen in shock and confusion as the silence stretches on from seconds to minutes but finally she hears the bed creak as he hesitantly kisses her neck one last time.
"If something's bothering you," she stiffens at his pained voice and a regretful tear trickles down her crumpled face, "you know you can talk to me, right?" She nods, offering a curt "un" before hurriedly pulling the covers over her shoulders and curling away from him. She can feel his eyes boring onto the back of her head but she cannot face him, she cannot tell him.
Not yet.
Not tonight.
"Why don't you look me in the eyes, anymore?"
On this night, Hinata realizes that Naruto had had enough of the avoidance treatment. When faced with a problem, the only way Naruto knew how to deal with it is head-on – because that was his ninja way – which explained his abrupt question. But despite the suddenness of it, Hinata could hear the layers of pent-up pain underneath his words and she knew she could not bear to hurt him any longer.
"Do you…" she swallows a lump that had risen in her throat, "do you have scars, Naruto-kun?" Her question comes out so softly that he almost doesn't catch it but luckily, he does. He leans back and scratches at the back of his head, unsure of how to answer.
"Well…no," he can't see where this question is leading to but he decides to just answer honestly, "because of Kurama I just heal so fast that —."
He sees the glimmer of tears cascading down the slope of her cheeks and dripping from the tip of her chin. His eyes soften and he takes her hands in his before placing it over his chest.
"But I have plenty of scars here," he continues, wiping her tears away with his free hand before pulling her closer against him.
"You know all those lullabies you sing to Boruto?" She nods wordlessly against his chest. "I'd never heard them before you started singing them to him. Or," he swallows roughly, "I should say, I never had anyone to sing them to me? I guess you can say that's a kind of scar."
"Oh," her voice is soft and sympathetic at his confession, "Naruto-kun…"
He looks down and finally she's looking at him, her eyebrows are arched worriedly and her pale moon eyes ache for him, but…
She's finally looking at him.
"How does it go?" He jokes, "lavender's red, billy, billy?" She chuckles at his botched attempt at the lullaby and shakes her head. "It's 'dilly, dilly', Naruto-kun," she corrects him.
"Lavender's red, dilly, dilly…"
"Lavender's blue," she interjects again, giggling as he nods in mock seriousness and mutters the correct lyrics to himself before giving up.
"You know I'm not good at this kind of thing-ttebayo," he admits, sticking his tongue out in distaste and this draws even more giggles from her. He places his forehead against hers, pleased with himself and enraptured by her melodious laughter.
"Will you sing it for me?"
She quiets and blushes bright red at his request but finally, she nods shyly before opening her mouth to sing. The familiar lullaby glides through the air and he closes his eyes, entranced by the simple tune. He takes her hand in his and lifts her off the bed as he places his other hand on her hip. They sway gently to the melody and soon they are sweeping across their bedroom floor; waltzing in time with the smooth soprano of her voice.
"Who told you so, dilly, dilly, who told you so?" – one step, two step – "'Twas my own heart, dilly, dilly, that told me so…"
She swoops into his arms with the ending note and they finish their dance. Pearl and sea-blue eyes stare at each other in mirrored wonder, left only with the rapid timpani of their beating hearts to keep time as seconds stretch into minutes.
"Will you tell me what's wrong?"
Naruto finally breaks the silence but his voice is gentle and non-intrusive – she knows he won't force her to say anything if she's not willing. She hesitates, attempting to hide behind the canopy of her raven locks before looking back up into the familiar sea of his eyes and nodding slowly.
Today she is ready to tell him.
She breaks their embrace and steps back until she is in full-view of him and hesitantly fingers the hem of her shirt.
"This," she starts, choking on her voice before continuing, "is what's wrong."
Shakily, she lifts up her shirt to reveal her stomach and Naruto blinks in confusion at the sight of her abdomen. He was the king of hiding secrets on his stomach – after all, he had spent years evading various groups and people who were after his cursed seal – but from what he could gather this was a regular, normal stomach.
"Hmmmm," he scrunches his face and sticks out his bottom lip in contemplation before giving up, "your…stomach…ttebayo?"
She shakes her head, her eyes swimming with fresh tears as she looks away from him.
"The scar," she chokes out and finally he notices.
He sees the fresh scar from her caesarean section with Boruto that streaked across the length of her abdomen. It blazed bright pink and the sagging skin around it pinched and caved towards the healing scar.
"It's..." she chokes on her words and continues to evade his gaze, "I was just embarrassed that you might find it – me – ugly…"
His eyes widen as the pieces began to come together to paint a clearer picture. He finally understood – why she was avoiding his gaze, why she was rejecting him – he finally understood all of it.
"Hinata…" he starts, stepping forward towards her but she draws back, shaking her head as more tears spill down her cheeks.
"I know what you're going to say, Naruto-kun," she hurriedly tries to wipe away the tears only to have more escape. "But I don't think words will help. I…
She pauses, struggling to form into words the emotions welling up inside of her.
"No matter what, all this scar does is make me feel ugly..."
He regards her silently and affectionately, his heart twanging with pain at the realization that she was truly hurting and with the desperate desire to provide her some sort of comfort.
"All I see," he starts to speak but Hinata squeezes her eyes shut, reluctant to listen. Even so he continues, "is proof that my wife is the strongest person, I know."
Her pearl eyes finally crack open again and he shoots her one of his trademark wide grins; his eyes crinkling shut and whiskers prominent against his raised cheeks, "you risked your life to bring our son into the world-ttebayo."
Suddenly, he crouches down until he is eye-level with the scar and she hurriedly tries to lower her shirt, a broken stream of "W-wait, w-wait, N-Naruto-kun—!" falling from her lips before he gently stops her hands.
She freezes, chest heaving in perplexed anticipation before finally he places a chaste kiss at one end of the scar, "thank you for giving birth to our son", a kiss to the center, "thank you for being the mother to our son," and finally a kiss at the opposite end of the scar, "and thank you for making me a father-ttebayo."
Her vision blurs with a rush of unshed tears and her lips tremble as her breath catches in her throat. She barely manages to choke out his name but he knows and he understands.
"Most scars hurt," he continues, his fingers gingerly following the path of her scar, "and remind us of painful memories. So we try to hide them and cover them up but some scars…"
A pause.
"Some scars…remind us of something beautiful, of something we love or of something we fought to protect. And I think that's a good thing-ttebayo," his smile widens at her, "don't you?"
He rushes to stand up as she suddenly throws herself into his arms, releasing her pent-up insecurities and frustrations in heaving and broken sobs. He rubs a hand comfortingly up and down her back but chuckles sheepishly as he hears Boruto break out in shrill sobs from his baby room.
"Looks like we woke him up," he takes her hand in his and offers her a reassuring squeeze as she sniffles and clumsily wipes away at her face, "how about we take care of him together tonight?"
She nods in agreement, following him as he leads her down the hallway.
"How does it go again…lavender's blue, dilly, dilly, lavender's green…"
They enter the baby room with Naruto singing Boruto's favorite lullaby and immediately the crying ceases and is replaced with pleased cooing as Naruto scoops him out of the crib and into his arms.
"When I am king, dilly, dilly, you shall be queen…," he casts a quick glance at Hinata and whispers, "is that the way it goes?"
She covers her mouth to hide a chuckle at his incorrect lyrics but nods, "yes, Naruto-kun…"
Her eyes soften at the sight of both her husband and son; the people she loved and knew she'd give anything to protect.
She places a hand over her scar and smiles.
"…that's the way it goes."
~x~
Who told you so, dilly dilly,
Who told you so?
'Twas my own heart, dilly dilly,
That told me so.
~x~
A/N: This was kind of hard to write? As a note, I don't claim to know anything about C-sections or the emotions that accompany getting one. Hopefully this was not offensive to anyone.