Sarah glanced through the tree cover at a gray, foreboding sky. Thunder rumbled in the distance. The wind picked up, and smelled of rain. Rick seemed oblivious to the weather. He walked several steps ahead, methodically carving a path through the woods. The man had been brooding for hours. Over what, she didn't know, but his silence was becoming uncomfortable.
The two were backtracking to a town they'd passed several days before. The wound on Abraham's hand was festering, and he was badly in need of antibiotics. With Washington DC still weeks down the road, the group had quickly decided that doubling back was their best bet at scavenging medicine. Rick and Sarah had set out that morning. The others waited at camp.
Lightening exploded overhead. Rick turned and looked at her briefly. Damned if her heart didn't stop in her chest every time their eyes met. It all started several weeks before. They'd been sitting at camp with the others when she'd noticed him looking at her across the fire. At the time, she couldn't tell if it was a look of distant longing or just a distracted stare. As the days wore on though, she began to pay more attention. She was now certain that Rick Grimes found her attractive.
Sarah couldn't deny that she was drawn to him, as well. He bore the same sort of commanding presence that she'd always admired. Her husband Jason was also that way. But Jason had been dead for a very long time. Had Rick not found her alongside the tracks several months ago, she would surely be dead too.
A howling wind ripped through the woods, scattering dead leaves along the ground. The storm was closing in. She wondered if they would find cover. She was tired, thirsty, and her muscles were knotted with tension. Her backpack felt heavier and heavier with each step. Despite her growing discomfort, she loathed the thought of complaining…especially given Rick's current mood.
Rick tried to concentrate. Tried to formulate a plan. The woods had grown dark beneath the cloud cover. Cold raindrops beat down through the trees. He and Sarah were getting wetter by the minute. They huddled next to a thick oak tree near the edge of the woods. His senses were on high alert. Walkers would be hard to detect in the storm. If anything happened to Sarah it would be his fault for allowing her to come. It was against his better judgment, but in the end he'd given in. He silently admonished himself for the hundredth time that day.
Truth be known, Sarah was the first woman to stir sexual longing in him since Lori's death. The unexpected feelings had crept up slowly. At first it was the way the sunlight played in her auburn hair. He wanted to feel those long, wavy strands between his fingers. Then, it was her feminine curves that caught his eye. He'd noticed the shapeliness of her form one day as she walked ahead of him along the railroad tracks. Not only was she downright sexy, but the girl had personality. Spunk.
"Rick?" She asked, jarring him from his thoughts. "What are we gonna do?"
He looked down at her, registering the worry and uncertainty in her voice. He had to find shelter. Fast. "Come on," he said. "The tree line's not far from here. We'll look for a house or barn.…something."
Moments later, the two stood at the edge of the woods overlooking an overgrown field. Hailstones scattered and bounced across the ground. Rick shielded his eyes with his arm. He scanned the area once, twice and then a third time. Just as he was about to give up something caught his attention. Given the distance, it was impossible to tell what it was exactly. A shed? An old well house? Nevermind. It was something.
Grabbing Sarah's hand, he struck out across the field in an all out run. His long legs made quick strides, but he could feel her struggling to maintain his pace. He glanced back to find her fighting against the tall weeds, which were tangling around her legs. He forced himself to slow down.
The wind gusted, driving both the rain and the hail into a near horizontal assault. He pushed forward, taking the brunt of the onslaught by keeping her directly behind him. The icy pellets stung his skin as they beat against his face.
As they drew closer, he could tell that the dilapidated structure was an old hunting shack. The front door gaped open. It hung haphazardly on its bottom hinge and swayed violently in the wind.
Rick pulled her inside just as the wind slammed the door shut behind them. The inertia hurled her into his arms and sent the two stumbling to the floor in the dark. She landed halfway on top of him. He held her there a moment. "You okay?" He asked, still breathing heavy from the run.
She found it difficult to think, given his close proximity and the precarious nature of their position. "Yah, I think so." She could have buried her face in his chest and remained there on the floor in the dark for hours. She felt her face redden at the thought.
Rick sat up and fished out his flashlight. When he clicked it on, they found themselves in tight quarters. A card table and a single broken chair were situated near a small bed, which had been pushed into a corner. An old-fashioned wood stove dominated the center of the room.
Sara squinted into their surroundings as Rick shined the light around the room. "Wait," she said, as he swept the beam over the table. "Go back."
He moved the light back, but skipped over the spot where she wanted him to stop. She put her and over his and guided the beam back to the table. "There", she said, her hand lingering on his. On the table was a plump cylindrical candle - the kind that once decorated middle class homes. She retrieved it from the table. "Happen to have a lighter?"
Rick held the flashlight between his teeth and fished through his backpack. Eventually his search yielded a weathered match book. He struck one between two fingers and carefully lit the wick. A dim, yellow glow bathed the room. He switched off his flashlight and stared into the flame. Sarah stole a long sideways glance at his stoic features. Curls peeked around the back of his neck and an unruly tendril fell across his forehead. She fought the urge to brush it back for him.
"We'll sleep here tonight", he said, his eyes never leaving the flame. "Head out first thing."
Sarah sat on the edge of the small bed. "We should get out of these wet clothes."
He glanced at her and nodded, then turned his back and peeled off his rain soaked shirt. He left his pants on, but slid out of his boots. He paused a moment, then slowly turned to face her. She hadn't moved to change her own clothes so he turned back around. "Let me know when you're done."
Sarah quickly replaced her cold clothing with the extra long white t-shirt that she always slept in. Thankfully she'd remembered to grab it before they left that morning. She returned to her perch on the edge of the bed and gave him the okay.
He turned, and without making eye contact, leaned against the opposite wall. She took in his trim stature. The dim candlelight cast deep shadows about his form. The sight took her breath away. Though he wasn't chiseled, hard times had rendered him fit. The muscles in his chest and arms were well defined. She had long wondered what Rick Grimes looked like underneath his clothes. She wasn't disappointed.
"What're you thinking about?" She ventured.
He looked up from his knife, snapped it closed and returned it to the front pocket of his jeans. "Just stuff."
"Abraham's gonna be okay, if that's what you're worried about."
"I know," he answered, but offered nothing more.
"Come here and sit down," she patted the bed next to her. Reluctantly, he obeyed.
"I never really thanked you for taking me in. For getting us out of Terminus. For keeping us alive." She paused. "For being my friend." He looked at her. "When you found me on those tracks I was done. You were the first decent man I'd come across since my husband died. I didn't think good people existed anymore." She leaned to rest her head against him. It was a bold move, and she had no idea how he might react. But her need to be close to him was suddenly overwhelming.
He was still for a very long time. Finally, he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer. His chin rested gently on the top of her head, which was now tucked snugly against his chest. Her arms locked around his waist. She could feel the pulsing beat of his heart. She melted into his embrace and allowed a warm, tingling sensation to fill her.
His brought his hand up and cradled the side of her face, his thumb slowly caressing her cheek. Her heart nearly stopped. She reminded herself to breathe. He placed two fingers under her chin and lifted her face to his. She could feel his breath on her skin. His eyes were heavy with passion. He leaned close and brushed his lips against hers. The whiskers on his beard tickled her skin. His hand tangled in her hair. He pressed his lips more firmly against hers. She parted her lips and his tongue slipped across them without hesitation. He pulled her more deeply into the kiss. Her womanhood throbbed.
"I'm sorry," he said, suddenly pulling away. "I shouldn't have." He stared at the floor in profound confusion. He had wanted to kiss her. He'd enjoyed every minute of it. Yet, he somehow felt that he'd just betrayed his children. Their dead mother. Himself.
He dared not look at her. His body was still wracked with desire but his thoughts….his thoughts were everywhere. He needed to sort them out. Needed to make sense of his feelings. Needed to anchor his thoughts.
Sarah said nothing. They sat in silence for a long while. The storm continued to rage outside. The candle continued to burn. Rick continued to search his heart.
"I've been alone inside for a long time," he finally said. "Even before Lori died, I closed myself off from everythang. I went to a very dark place." His eyes welled with tears and bored into the floor.
"I finally pulled myself together after she died. Told myself to hold on for Carl and Judith...decided to take what I had left and live each day until they were gone too." His tears fell into puddles near his feet. He didn't try to stop them. He needed the release.
"I don't wanna live like that anymore, Sarah."
"You don't have to." She wrapped her arm around his waist. "I'm sorry about your wife. I understand how pointless this life can seem. I'm so sorry."
"Thang is," he continued, "I didn't realize how alone I really was until you. I never expected life to be happy again. I never..." He looked at her. "I never expected to have feelings for someone again." He shook his head. "I thought Judith was dead. When I found her...it was...it was like hope came alive inside me again."
He put his face in his hands and sobbed. He sobbed like he'd sobbed the day his wife died. He sobbed for the loss of his innocence. He sobbed for the days he'd wasted before the world had turned. Freely, he mourned all the wreckage he'd endured. He allowed his grief to bubble up, allowed his pain to fully surface. He acknowledged the guilt he'd been harboring for losing the prison, for leading his son into a death trap at Terminus, for sending Carol away. All the while, Sarah patiently let him release his burdens in her arms.
Rick stood and paced the length of the room, keeping his back to her as he pulled himself together. When finally he turned to face her, his eyes were clear and his expression relaxed. "Guess I really messed that one up," he grinned.
She rose and walked toward him with a smile. "Wanna try it again?"
He closed the space between them and pulled her into a tight embrace. One hand went to her hair, the other to her waist. He met her lips softly at first, then dove into her with such hunger that she went weak in the knees.
He pressed himself against her, and she could feel that he was aroused. She shivered against the warmth of his hand as it made its way up the back of her shirt. He hesitated at the clasp of her bra. Worried that he may be having second thoughts, she brought her hand around to the front of his pants and cupped his erection. He surged into her grasp. Breaking free from her lips, he began kissing her neck.
Again, he found his way to the back of her bra and unhooked it with one hand. His fingertips teased up and down her left side, coming close but not yet stroking her breast. She could feel her nipples hardening with anticipation. Carefully she unzipped his pants and took him in her bare hand. She stroked his long, thick erection. He grabbed her breast and kneaded it in his hands.
"Sarah," he said in a low husky tone. "Are you sure?" She looked into his eyes and nodded.
She straddled him on the bed. His hands went to her breasts; he watched himself massaging them. Long auburn waves spilled over her shoulders. He found her absolutely beautiful. She wriggled, sending a throbbing surge through his loins. He wanted her so badly. He'd wanted her long before he should have.
"Come here," he coaxed, pulling her down to him. She moved to lie beside him and closed her eyes as he placed warm, wet kisses along her neck. He wanted to taste more of her. His hand travelled to her inner thigh, tenderly stroking, almost tickling, her soft legs. His tongue traced downward until he found her breast. He flicked her nipple. She moaned softly and slightly parted her legs. Her desire for him sent a bolt of excitement through his body. He worked his hand over, around, and in between her lady parts. Her body responded with wetness. He worked her with his hand, but still, he wanted to taste more of her.
His mouth made a trail of kisses down the middle of her stomach. She grabbed his head with both hands, tangling her fingers in his hair. He hovered over her mound, kissing so lightly that he barely touched her. Then, he parted her with his tongue. She sighed with pleasure and tilted her hips. Knowing that she was pleasured by his touch made him want her even more. He continued working her with his tongue. Flat, wide strokes up and down her length. Small circles between her lips. Little flicks against her clit.
"Yah, that's it," she whispered. "God, Rick. I need you."
He slid a finger inside her and continued to tease her with his tongue. Her pelvis began moving with more vigor. He slid a second finger into her wetness. She pressed his face against her and began to buck her hips. He knew she was close.
"I need you, Rick. Please!"
He'd held out long enough. He had to get inside of her. He needed her too. "Okay, baby. But I don't have any...uh..."
"It's okay," she interrupted. "I can't get pregnant anymore." She was nearly breathless. He nodded in understanding.
Gently, he took his position atop her and reached down to guide himself in. She met him without hesitation, welcoming him inside of her. He shivered against the warm sensation on the tip of his cock. She felt so right. So right. He found it impossible not to forge ahead and completely fill her with himself. She moaned as he thrust into her with hard, fast strokes. It had been so long since he'd felt this way. "Sarah. God, Sarah," he breathed. She grabbed hold of his biceps, squeezing and bracing herself as he pushed into her.
Then he felt her fingernails in the back of his shoulders. Her breathing changed. Her rhythm took on a life of its own. He felt her inner muscles clamping down. He held himself in place without moving, and let her rail upon him until finally her climax waned.
And then began to shove against her again, harder, faster and deeper this time. He could feel his own orgasm coming. "Fuck," he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. She wrapped her legs around him and squeezed him against her body. As he spilled inside of her, releasing himself into her warm, tight grasp, he realized…..he had come full circle. Finally. Full circle.