Disclaimer:- I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or any of its characters. I don't even own any name that may appear in the fic.
A/N:- I had a lot of fun writing this fic so I probably will continue this story with even deeper and darker secrets and possibly other people's cell-phones. I might even include cross-over messages. Thanks to a good friend for beta-ing.
'Reno...where did you find that cell-phone?' Elena asked as she looked at the battered and damp cell phone.
Reno flicked his hair and told her that it was Cloud's phone and he had found it underwater in Ajit.
'Maybe we should return it,' Elena said as she walked towards their chopper that was standing stationary in the forgotten capital, Ajit.
'Admit it Laney, you just want to meet Cloud.'
After hitting him on the head, Elena decided that they'd return the cell-phone. However, Reno had other plans...
Click. You have 17 new messages.
'Cool!' Reno said, while pressing random numbers. 'Lets hear 'em!'
Elena shook her head in disapproval. Sure Laney, as if that's gonna stop Reno.
Message 1
Beep
Cloud, this is Tifa. I know you're off on another Aeris-depression mission thing, but you forgot to pick up the dry cleaning like I asked you to. You'd better get your sorry ass here, mister, and pick these clothes up. They won't wash themselves you know. By the way, I was thinking-
Beep
Message 2
Beep
How rude! Not rude as in Rude who has a crush on me, I meant rude as in why the heck should your beep cut me off so quick. Anyways, I was thinking that tonight, we could invite Shera and Cid for dinner. Don't they look adorable together? Oops, have to go. See ya! And pick up the dry cleaning.
Beep
Message 3
Beep
Cloud...this is Yuffie. So when are you gonna meet me again? Does Tifa know about your little 'visits'? Oh, and I got you more 'materia'...heh heh heh...
Beep
Message 4
Beep
Hello, Mr. Strife. We are calling from Midgar Blockbuster movie rentals. We would like to inform you that we still have not received the bill from you for the movie 'Dr. Do me a Little' and 'White Chicks'...the movies that you borrowed.Please hurry up and send the bill. Thankyou.
Beep
'Hey, I've seen Dr. Do me a Little!' Reno cried excitedly before Elena gave him a death-glare.
Message 5
Beep
Evening Mr. Strife. I am calling from the Sector 6 Tailor's shop to tell you that the hole in the butt of the pants you sent us cannot be sewn. We are terribly sorry, and we would like to give you a free hand sewn sock as a token of our sorrow. Please come to Sector 6 Tailors again. Thankyou.
Beep
Message 6
Beep
Hello? Hello? How is this contraption made use of? Hello? Oh, forget it.
Beep
Message 7
Beep
Sorry about that last message Cloud, I think I've got the hang of using this device. This is Vincent Valentine, if you couldn't tell. I have called to tell you that I deeply appreciate your kindness in buying me a phone. However, I don't think I will be using this quite often. But you have my deepest and most heartfelt thanks.
Beep
Message 8
Beep
Yo Spikey! Guess who? Yep, it's me Barret. Just called to tell ya that I'll be over in a couple of hours. Tell Marlene for me, won't ya?
Beep
Message 9
Beep
Good Evening Cloud, this is Vincent. I called to tell you that you left your body lotion at my house when you came to visit. Please come by and pick it up quickly. Reeve keeps asking if he may use it on me, and frankly I find that very disturbing.
Beep
Message 10
Beep
Hello. Hi, like, my name is, like, Cloe and I'd ,like...love it if you'd, like...um...I dunno...like, deliver yourself to me, because like, you're just too damn hot! Like, pretty please? Like, then maybe later you could marry me?
Beep
Message 11
Beep
Cloud, it is I...Sephiroth! Heh heh, just kidding, it's Reno. Nope, kidding again, it's Aeris! Nah, it's just me, Reno.
Beep
Message 12
Beep
Cloud, this is Vincent. I...um...just called to say that...uh...nice weather we're having, isn't it? (Thunder crashes in the background)Anyway, I hope you're doing well. I am. Once again, thank you for the phone. I think I'll go and call Cid now. Adieu.
Beep
Message 13
Beep
Well thanks a lot, chocobo brains, now you gone and done it! Ya just HAD to buy Valentine that damn phone, didn't ya! Now he's calling me every frickin' minute of every frickin' day! He's obsessed with the f thing! Way to go! Oh, Shera sends her love and is asking when you and Tifa are gonna get hitched. By the way, this was Cid.
Beep
Message 14
Beep
Good evening Cloud...is your refrigerator running in your premises? If that is so, I suggest that you go and retrieve it! Cloud, this was Vincent. I just made my first ever crank call! Isn't that wonderful! I am so funny!
Beep
Message 15
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I'm gonna murder you, you f retard! NOW idiot Valentine is callin' me and askin' if my fridge is running! I don't have a damn fridge! I buy take-away. 'Course, Shera thinks I'm eatin' her home-cooked slop. WHY did you get Valentine that thing! Now we have to deal with his crank calls...and they aren't even good! Hey, it's still Cid, just in case ya couldn't tell.
Beep
Message 16
Beep
Cloud...this is Aeris. Cloud, I thought I loved you. But my heart belongs to Reno because he is too damn hot, much hotter than you or Sephiroth could ever be.
Beep
'You called him yourself, didn't you?', Elena asked, baring her teeth. Reno nodded his head happily.
'And I don't suppose you know that Aeris is dead, do you?'
Reno's face went white and he gulped. 'Heh, woops.'
Message 17
Beep
Good Evening Cloud. This is Vincent, and I called just for the heck of it. Hey Cloud, when the battery on a cell phone is blank and it starts flashing, what does that mean? Does it mean that the battery if full-
Beep
You have no more new messages.
Reno and Elena decided between themselves that this would not leave Ajit.
R&R please people! I don't mind flames even! Please review and tell if you want any yaoi or CloudxAnyone pairings in the story.And if you wanna read anyone else's 'unread mail messages...' ;-)