Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters are owned, written, and illustrated by Masashi Kishimoto.

Time Period: Post-Sasuke Retrieval Arc, Pre-Naruto Leave Arc

Rating: K, T in later chapters because of swearing.

spazz- thoughts

spazz- emphasis on words

spazz- music being played, lyrics

Chapter O n e: Dattebayo in the Morning!

Morning in Konoha is relatively peaceful.

Store owners start to open their stalls.

Birds chirp merry songs.

Mothers get sleepy children out of bed (by force if necessary).

…and Naruto awakens citizens with a loud -TTEBAYO!

(Wait, what?!)

"Ohayo gozaimasu Konoha! This is Uzumaki Naruto hosting Dattebayo in The Morning! DATTEBAYO! It's 7:00 and time to get up! If your out there Kakashi-sensei, I'm talkin' to you!"

A sleeping Kakashi sneezes in his sleep, and promptly bashes his alarm clock (the third one, I might add…)

"YEAH-TTEBAYO! To help you get up and get ready for the day, here is Haruka Kanata by Asian Kung-Fu Generation!"

fumikomu ze akuseru

kakehiki wa nai sa sou dayo

yoru wo nukeru...

"Yosh! This is fun, huh Sakura-chan?" Naruto said, grinning widely.

"Yep…your voice would sure wake those sleeping heads up…" Sakura said, checking if her ears were still working.

"Yeah! I--HEY!" Naruto said, realizing the joke and countering with a pout.

"Uh, people…" the producer said, sighing. "You're still on the air…"

Naruto and Sakura shrieked simultaneously, and an angry Sakura punches Naruto in the face. HARD.

"AHH! SAKURA!!" Naruto said, rubbing the bump that is on his head.

"Stupid…" Sakura said, still irate.

"People…you're still on the air!" the producer said.

"Oh, haha. Sorry! This is Haruno Sakura, giving you the morning's headlines for today. Lady Tsunade, Fifth Hokage, has issued a contamination warning for all Konoha sake bottles in possession by Konoha citizens. All sake bottles must be sent to the Hokage's office immediately to be quarantined.

"Knowing Tsunade-baachan, she probably is holed up in her office now quarantining…" Naruto said offhandedly.

"Naruto! Lady Hokage would do no--ehh, who am I kidding? You're probably right…"

In the Hokage's office, a giggling Tsunade is surrounded by thousands of empty sake bottles. What a coincidence…

"In other news, a big congratulations to Masuda Setsuko for winning the Miss Konohagakure pageant. However, after what was said to be an 'unfortunate accident' by Yamanaka Ino (stupid Ino-pig), Setsuko-san is in the hospital. Any flowers and gifts would be greatly appreciated.

Setsuko, in a full body body cast, moans in a hospital room.

"Ino, as the runner up, will be filling in for Setsuko-san in the Five Great Nations pageant being held in Suna." Naruto says.

Poor Setsuko-san…Sakura thinks. Ino-pig, you are such a jerk!

"Well, that's Dattebayo in The Morning for ya, and stayed tuned to 103.2 Konoha FM for all the latest music, gossip with Ino, and Trivia Time with Shikamaru! See ya soon!" said Naruto and Sakura.

ROCKS by Hound Dog playing

Yesh! Finito with the first chapter! What do you guys think so far? Please review. Constructive criticism is welcome, but nothing too harsh please!

reignbeau54 out