A/N: Here I am with a little idea that I got when I heard one of P!nk's songs: Conversations with my 13 year old self. Besides I saw the leaked pictures and couldn't help myself. so yes, this is older Hiccup all grown up. For those who are wondering when I'm going to be updating AUH...I'm in a bit of a writers block, hence why I'm writing this little one. To those who read this and have no idea whta I'm talking about, sorry for making you read this n_nU
Anyhow...On with the story :D
Disclaimer: I do not own How To Train Your Dragon or any of the characters.
"My Younger Self"
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Dear Hiccup:
I know you will find this letter weird since there wasn't anything in that drawer last night, I know you checked. This will be one of those days you wish you could just disappear and if not that just lock yourself up in the study you have down in The Forge. I know its rough right now and that you think nobody gets you (and probably nobody does…yet), but it will change soon, just don't lose yourself.
I know the intentions you had last night, and let me tell you that dropping that knife has been the best decision you've made in your whole life. You might think yourself a coward now, but believe me, you are not a coward. You might be the bravest person I've ever met. I know you feel lonely, and that you miss your mother terribly and that you feel your father wishes to get rid of you (or more like the entire village), but they need you more than you think.
You are in a stage where you believe that you better let a dragon eat you. Oh, if you could only know, but I don't want to spoil the surprise for you. I'm going to let you enjoy it once you get there. Remember when you found a trail in the woods that time your father took you fishing? You were so excited since you thought you found the trails of a troll. Believe me; your father has not forgotten about that little stunt you pulled after going off alone.
You used to imagine entire kingdoms in the little patch of forest right behind your house when you were little to fight off the loneliness, be sure that you'll make the best friend you could ever think off. I know you would gladly give your life for him, and so would he for you. I recommend you to look at the night sky the next time the dragons raid the village. You might see something interesting up there.
I know that you get angry at yourself and that everything looks hopeless form time to time, I've been there, we've all been there. You'll find out that you are not the only one that has ever felt that lonely, and scared. Believe me, sometimes even I still get scared and angry with myself, but you'll learn how to deal with it in time.
The fear of not knowing if you are worth the effort, the fear of being rejected by everyone you know won't last forever. But let people get to know you, the real you, the one who's full of ideas the one who likes to watch fire for hours the one who likes to spends entire days drawing landscapes and the one who likes to believe that there is some other meaning to life other than just killing and not get killed.
I'm about to finish this, what I mentioned before is just to make sure you believe me; I know you better than anyone else. I beg you, don't give up and keep on trying; you have a bright future in front of you, just wait a little more and please don't go looking for poisonous herbs, you will only get yourself a very upset stomach and end up at Gothi's hut and have her see you in your worst shape. I mean it bud, don't do it! I know you are despearte but it's not going to be your brightest idea.
Putting that aside, be grateful to be alive Hiccup, people will need you sometime, maybe even sooner than you expect; and you should be there for them. Remember that there will be always someone there for you as well, as obnoxious and weird as they can be; you'll meet them soon enough! Don't' lose that little fire that burns inside of you, let it get stronger, feed it with that passion I know you have inside, it's just a matter of you realizing you have it inside you.
Yours truly,
The Dragon Conqueror
P.S. In case you are wondering, you do grow up. Hey you've got a huge father, the grow spurt just took a long time to come.
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What was that about, how did anyone find out? He was not proud of his….state of mind last night but it was just barely a few hours after the incident and someone already knew about it! He hoped his father hadn't got word of this. He rushed to the window and looked in every direction looking for foot prints since it was winter. He only caught sing of one foot print and some mark that seemed done with a cane.
And what was all that nonsense about? Yeah right, as if anyone ever would need him. And what friend? And why should he keep a look out in the sky? And who the hell was The Dragon Conqueror? Some bad ass that killed a thousand of dragons or what?
But seriously, how did anyone find out about … you know what, let's just forget it, it's not as if he had the courage to do that anyway. Now, where did he leave those designs for his next weapon, o there they were. Now how was he going to fix the tensing problem in the ropes for his ballista?
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A/N: So what do you think about it? :D I know I made Hiccup suicidal, but I figured he was under a lot of stress and after such pressure from his entire village it would be possible for that to happen. Just a thought I had.
R&R please!