The Last Goodbye
I knew everything was falling apart, I knew things wouldn't ever be the same again and there was nothing I could do to stop it, but I was going to die, and the only thing I could think of was Rose. Rose Marion Tyler. Oh, that smile, her yellow hair, her laugh, the way she says my name, the way she always holds… Used to hold my hand, I just couldn't stand the thought of leaving her, at least leaving without a proper goodbye; And that's what I did, I went to say goodbye to Rose Tyler for the last time.
I landed in a snowy day, extremely cold, but I didn't know the year or the location, the TARDIS always tricked me, but then I saw it, Rose's building. I just couldn't believe it, she might still be in there, waiting for her mother, or maybe she's there just waiting for me, although that was quite impossible. When I reached the front door I heard her, I heard her loud laugh, oh how I missed that, how I needed that, I needed my Rose.
My Rose, my lovely, young, sweet and unreachable Rose, I wanted so much to feel her lips one more time but I couldn't, I couldn't let her know that I was there, so I ran to a corner where she wouldn't see me, and started to hear her clearly, and she wasn't alone, she was with her mom. That crazy mother of Rose, she was complaining about something as usual, but I just wanted to look at Rose for the last time.
I was supposed to be quiet, invisible, but then the pain came even stronger, and I couldn't stand it, and that was the moment she saw me. Those eyes simply didn't seem to know who I was, her smile was now hidden in a concerned face, but still beautiful, still my Rose.
- You all right mate? – I heard her voice, and suddenly nothing else mattered.
- Yeah. – That was all I could say, a simple word to the girl that had my hearts.
- Too much to drink? – How could she be worried about me if she didn't even know me yet? How could she be so perfect?
- Something like that. – Oh, if only she knew…
- Maybe it's time you went home. – If only she knew how much I wanted her…
- Yeah. – And all of the sudden, she smiled like she did in the old days.
- Anyway, happy new year! – And there it was, that smile, that mouth I used to kiss, just in front of me, and there was nothing I could do.
- And you. – But then, she started to walk away, away from me, away from everything we were once, but I just wasn't ready to let her go. – What year is this?
- Blimey, how much have you had? – I wanted so much to hug her but I simply couldn't, so all I did was pretend I was a drunk. – 2005, January the first.
- 2005. – That could only be the TARDIS, that old blue box… – Tell you what, I bet you're going to have a really great year. – Yeah, I bet you're going to fall in love with an old man with a blue box, and that he'll love you like he's never loved no one else before, and he's gonna do everything for you, he would even die…
- Yeah? – She said it so normally, so calm and sweet that I couldn't hold it and smiled back. – See ya.
And that was all she told me, a simple "See ya". I wanted more, oh yeah, I needed more, but that was all I could get. So I just stand there watching her go away when I felt it, I felt that pain I couldn't avoid. It was impossible to walk to the TARDIS, the pain, the cold, the snow, it was too much for me, and in the moment I hit the floor, I knew I wouldn't stay for long…
- We will sing to you, Doctor. The universe will sing you to your sleep. – I knew why that Ood was there, but I was certain that I had to go back to the TARDIS, she was everything I had and I couldn't do it without her, and with all my strengths I kept on going. - This song is ending, but the story never ends. – When I finally entered the TARDIS I could still hear the song, but it was time. I was changing, becoming someone else.
Then I could see it, I could feel it, it had started and nothing would stop it. Oh that feeling, that horrible feeling, I didn't want it, I wanted to stay. – I don't wanna go. – But it was too late for crying, too late for anything, but I still couldn't stop thinking about Rose. I've had left her before, but now was different, things would never be the same, this time I wouldn't come back, I couldn't, but before I died for the 10th time, I at least went to say to Rose Tyler, the last goodbye.