"Ugh, it's not even flu season. I hate being sick." Ruby complained, wiping her mouth as she emerged from the bathroom. "Peter, would you mind helping out at the diner tonight? People aren't going to want me infecting their food."
"You're gonna pay me, right?" Ruby gave him a look, and he glanced up from his video game with a lazy, criminally charming grin. "Kidding, yeah, yeah! I'll do it. You want me to swing by the pharmacy first, get something for your stomach?"
"That's sweet, honey, but I already sent your father." Peter gave her a deadpan look, then quirked an eyebrow at her like she was insane. Ruby laughed. "I sent him with Granny." Killian had a habit of getting… distracted, when you asked him to do things. Granny wasn't as mobile as she used to be, but if you sent the two of them together, Granny kept Killian on task. The door opened with a click, and the sound of raised voices floated in from the other room. Peter slouched down in the recliner, disappearing behind the screen of his handheld game as Killian appeared in the doorway, a plastic bag hanging from the end of his hook.
"Got what you wanted, love." He said, swinging the bag into Ruby's hands, she peered down into the bag, and frowned.
"Killian, this isn't what I wanted." Peter snickered, and Killian shot him a quick glare.
"What? But your grandmother picked it up, I just paid. Like you said." He reasoned. "Maybe the old woman's starting to lose it…"
"You're one to talk about being old, pirate. And it's not a mistake." Granny growled from the doorway, before she entered the living room and took her customary seat in the rocking chair.
"But Granny… this is a…" she paused, glancing towards Peter in the corner quickly. "I'm not. I know I'm not." Peter raised an eyebrow, peeking around his game to catch a glimpse of the item in question, but it was still concealed in the plastic bag.
"You haven't been like this since the first time. You're sick, eating weird things, and you've gone up at least a cup size." Granny pointed out matter of factly. Peter did not like where this conversation was going… where was his ipod when he needed it?
"But it's not possible. We took care of it. Right, Killian?"
"Right, yes… wait, what are we talking about?" Peter rolled his eyes. Leave it to Captain Hook to be out of the loop.
"You had a vasectomy. Years ago. Remember?" Peter winced, sinking down further into his chair. He didn't want to hear this. "So that we wouldn't…" Another glance at the seventeen year old who was trying his very hardest to sink through the floor. He wasn't succeeding. Ruby cleared her throat instead of finishing her sentence.
"Right, of course, love. We took care of it." Granny gave him a suspicious look.
"Well it can't hurt to be sure." She said, and Ruby rolled her eyes, taking the pink box out of the bag, she headed back into the bathroom.
"When it comes up negative, you're both going right back to the pharmacy for the right stuff." She yelled through the closed door. Granny picked up her knitting, something that looked suspiciously like baby booties and Killian threw himself down on the couch, and while he looked the picture of ease as he flipped through an old copy of reader's digest, Peter was sure there was a certain tension in his shoulders, as though he was bracing for something.
The something that became apparent when there came a scream of rage from the bathroom.
"KILLIAN JONES YOU PIRATE BASTARD!" She screamed, throwing open the bathroom door and brandishing what must be a positive pregnancy test like a weapon. "Killian. KILLIAN. You promised me you were going to get a vasectomy!"
"True, love, but that was before I knew what that was." Peter had never seen Ruby so livid. And that was saying something, because Killian was not an easy man to be married to. But this was easily the most terrified Peter had ever been of her, and he glanced towards his father, who had sprung to his feet and was moving closer to his wife. "This is at least partially your fault." A poorer choice of words had never been spoken.
"Oh," Ruby's eyes were wide with rage, and Peter hardly dared to breathe, as Killian reached out to put his hands on her arms in what he supposed was supposed to be a reassuring way, but Ruby pulled away, gesticulating wildly. "NO, it's not!" Granny was shaking her head in disbelief, although whether it was at the fact that they'd managed to get pregnant again, or because of the way they were handling the news, Peter wasn't sure. "Do you know how old he is, Killian? Do you?" She asked, waving towards Peter, who was frozen like a deer in the headlights.
"Yes, Ruby, I know how old the boy i-"
"SEVENTEEN. He's seventeen, Killian! We were almost done! We were almost free! Less than a year before he's off to college, do you know that?! NOW BY THE TIME HE'S GONE, WE'LL HAVE A BRAND NEW BABY! It's like starting all over!" She smacked him on the chest, hard. "This is why you were supposed to take care of it!"
Killian glanced towards his son in the corner. "Not that we don't want you around, or anything."
Ruby suddenly looked aghast at her own words, and turned towards the teenager. "Oh! Peter! Of course we want you around! We love you!" She said apologetically, and he groaned as his father smirked at him. His father truly was a master of distraction. Ruby sighed, walking over to her son, she bent over to hug him. He shook his head at Killian over her shoulder as he slipped out the door, pressing his finger to his lips to signal him to be quiet. He was probably going to the bar, and Peter glared at his father. By the time Ruby straightened up, the pirate had fled the building. "So, I guess we're having a- where did he go?!"
She actually sounded shocked, and Peter shrugged. Ruby sighed and stormed off, either to find him or to cool off before he came home, and Peter hid behind his game again.
"Congratulations," he'd forgotten Granny was still there, with all the excitement. She was looking at him. "Looks like you're going to be a big brother."
Peter hadn't thought of that, and he grinned. "Heh. Cool."