AN: PARODY TIME!!!

Please R&R (Read and Review, not Rest and Relax).

THE GRUDGE: Inuyasha Style!

Day One: Wrong Movie

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It was a day like any other.

Kagome was back in modern times, eating her beloved Oden, studying for the latest calculus exam, talking to her friend on the phone, watching TV, and desperately trying to forget about her worries concerning the Feudal Era—that's our little 15-year old, multitasking like always.

:CHOKE:

"Sis, you shouldn't talk with a Daikon radish in your mouth."

"ARGH…Yuka, choking…GAH…again…RAAAGH…bye…" Kagome coughed, fell on her back and stopped moving, but not before turning off the phone—after all, phone bills were murder.

Souta continued eating while watching TV. The phone rang.

Kagome immediately sat back up as if nothing had happened and cheerfully answered, "What's up homey?"

"Seven days…"

"Sorry, could you speak up?"

"…seven days."

"Of what?"

"…"

"Oh. OH! Hey Samara. You got the wrong number."

"…again?"

"Yeah."

"…so, you didn't watch a tape—"

"No."

"Damn. OK, sorry about that."

"No prob."

"And take care of that Bone Eater's Well of yours."

What was with the undead girl and her obsession with Wells? "Will do."

"Talk to ya later Kag."

"I'm sure you will." Kagome hung up and laughed. "Will do. I'm sure you will. No pun intended. Ha, ha, I crack myself up."

"Honey?" Mama Higurashi called from the kitchen. "Could you and Souta take a traditional Welcoming Fruits Basket to our new neighbors? I'm cutting Grandpa's hair right now…my, what big ears you have Grandpa."

Kagome blinked and turned to Souta. "Someone actually moved into that haunted house?"

He shrugged. "I heard from Hitomi, who lives in the same apartment the neighborhood gossiper always hangs out at, that a foreign family moved in last week. Then I heard from ANOTHER classmate that they're moving out next week—"

"OK, I get it, you is connected."

"Why are you talking like that?"

"…teenage insecurities."

"Gotcha."

So the two lugged the ridiculous large, heavy, and overflowing basket down the Shinto shrine steps and past the streetlight to the barren stretch of no-man's-land, where grass refused to grow and even the sun seemed to pass over.

"I see dead people."

"That's just the cat lady, Souta." Kagome said as she examined the contents of the basket. "Why did Mom put a cucumber in here?"

"I think that's a pickle."

"Whatever. Look, we're here." They came upon a modest-sized house that was closed off by cement walls and overgrown shrubbery. "…or not. I think we're at the wrong place."

"N-no, this is it. Let's j-just leave this on the front steps." He stuttered, unable to hide his fear.

"Good idea." Kagome and Souta hurriedly walked past the open fence and ignored the ominous feeling and the sense of eminent doom. They leaned over the porch, set the basket down, pushed it to the door, and turned.

They heard the door open.

Kagome and Souta whirled around, like kids that were caught with their hands in the cookie jar before dinner, and stared into the face of one very blue, very naked boy.

Souta stared. "You…uh…missing some clothes?"

No response.

Kagome leaned down and whispered to Souta, "Maybe they're one of those nudist families."

Souta gawked and magically took out a legal pad and pen. "Note to self: Tell Hitomi."

The blue boy suddenly opened his mouth and made a really strange, really loud rattling noise. Kagome and Souta stayed still. For about 2 seconds.

They dashed out of there like two escaped convicts.

And when Souta and Kagome turned they saw dark, creeping tentacles chasing after them.

"AAAAAARRGGHHH!"

"RUN FOR YOUR LIFE SOUTA! RUN LIKE MOM FOUND YOUR SECRET STASH OF OREOS!"

"YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER SPEAK OF THAT AGAIN!"

"I MADE NO SUCH PROMISE!"

The two argued/ran for their lives all the way back to the shrine, where they made a quick stop to pray to all the gods of all the religions in the world plus Sponge Bob (just to be safe), and crashed into their house as if there was a tsunami behind them.

"Took you long enough!" Inuyasha said gruffly as he entered the hallway. "Hey, you two look like you've seen a—"

"IT WAS HORRIBLE!" Kagome and Souta sobbed and tackled Inuyasha to the floor. "SAVE US!"

"What in the seven hells?" Inuyasha gasped out as Kagome and Souta held his head in a painful double headlock. "Can't…breathe…GAH."

"He's turning blue! Blue!" Souta groaned and backed away. "We're too late!"

"We're cursed!" Kagome moaned and backed away as well. "What've we done? What'll we do?"

"Silver bullets!" Souta cried.

"Onions! Or was it garlic…"

"Silver crosses!"

"You mean wooden crosses?"

"Blood of a newborn baby unicorn!"

"…I don't think that's possible Souta…"

"Oh yeah, they're extinct."

"What," Inuyasha spluttered as he sat up, "is going on?"

So Kagome and Souta began an overly detailed and incredibly dramatic retelling of their close encounter of the third (or fourth) kind.

"And there were sharks!"

"With lasers!"

"Strapped to their heads!"

"What the heck are lasers?" Inuyasha scratched his head. "Forget it. Looks like you're dealing with a demon!"

"NO WE'RE NOT!" Souta and Kagome screamed at the top of their lungs, pushed Inuyasha down.

Kagome then looked up. "Where are Mama and Grandpa?"

"Buyo. Vet." Inuyasha muttered from the floor.

"Let's go back!"

Inuyasha looked up. "Huh?"

"I'll get my things and we'll leave for the Feudal Era!"

Inuyasha stared. "Seriously?" This was too easy! She didn't even mention anything about tests or exams!

"No!" Souta screamed. "Don't leave me here! TAKE ME WITH YOU!"

Souta had Inuyasha in a headlock again and Inuyasha was becoming blue. Again. Then the phone rang.

Kagome sauntered into the living room and picked up the receiver. She answered with a somber, "Eh?"

"Seven days…"

"I'M NOT IN THE MOOD SAMARA!"

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AN: First chapter done! Next Miroku, Sango, Shippou and Kirara will get in on the Grudge action! Reviews will make updating much, MUCH faster! (Hint, hint, nudge, nudge!)