TITLE: The Goodbye Girl
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: It seemed to Shannon like all she ever did was say goodbye. (Post Do No Harm)DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.
Shannon lay still in her tent. She was too numb to move, and too shocked to do anything anyway. She had moved to her shelter as they talked about her brother's burial. It was all too much for her. She felt that all she ever did was say goodbye.
First there had been her mother, she had died when she was too little to know what that word meant. She had stayed up late for weeks waiting for her to come back home. Finally her dad had taken her to the cemetery and told her that's where her mother was now. She remembered crying and crying, wondering why her mother left without saying goodbye.
Then her father had remarried and she had been forced to say goodbye to all her friends and her old life. He said they would be happy again, that things would be better if she had a new mother. But she hadn't wanted a new mother, she wanted her mom, there were no substitutes.
They had moved to LA, a new home and a new family. Shannon had tried to adjust but her new mother didn't like her. She tried to tell her father that, but he never listened, too in love to see what was right in front of him.
He was in a car accident a few years later. She didn't get to say goodbye to him either. She remembered that the tears wouldn't come until late at night when everyone else was asleep. Her stepmother didn't understand, calling her an unfeeling bitch, how could a girl not cry for her daddy? But Shannon did cry, just never in front of anyone. Some nights the tears wouldn't end.
Now Boone, her brother was gone and once again she wasn't there to say goodbye. She had yelled at Sayid earlier, angry that she hadn't been next to her brother, but she knew it wasn't his fault. She had made the decision to stay with Sayid all night, that was her choice and she didn't regret spending that time with him. She did regret that Boone couldn't have held on just a little longer. So for once she could actually say the words goodbye. But would saying it actually have made this pain go away?
She had cried all her tears over Boone, or at least it felt like she had. She had cried for so many things, most importantly their lost relationship that she had ruined and that now she would never be able to apologize for. She had used him, knowing that he would be willing; his feelings for her made him do anything for her. Now she couldn't say that she was sorry for hurting him. They would never get the chance to go back to the way it was before.
Shannon was tired of saying goodbye to people she loved, tired of being the one left behind. She wondered if Sayid would be the next one she would be forced to say goodbye to. She had heard him talking with Jack about finding Locke. She didn't know how many more goodbyes she could survive.
Sayid came then and placed some fruit in front of her. She softly told him that she wasn't hungry. He sat down beside her and started to gently comb his fingers through her hair. She closed her eyes at his touch. It was so different from last night and she wished that she could return to that time. A time when she was happy and Boone was still alive.
"Are you going to leave?" she asked him quietly.
His fingers stopped in mid-air, as her question seemed to surprise him, "I will leave with Jack later."
She bit her lip; she didn't want him to go. She wanted him to stay beside her.
She sat up slowly, and turned to face, "I don't want to have to say goodbye to you too," she sobbed.
Sayid gently pulled her into his arms as the tears came again. He whispered repeatedly that it would be ok; she hoped that he was right. She was tired of being the goodbye girl.
THE END.