He couldn't get the anger under control; it was much too soon, but he couldn't hold himself back anymore… He knew what they were all thinking. He knew what they were all saying. They were calling him a loser; they were whispering about him all the time… He understood what it meant when the room fell silent as he entered it. And who had caused the talk? Who had spread the rumors? Crane was responsible for everything, and Crane was going to pay. Killing was too good for him…
Steven Nash wiped the sweat from his forehead. Too good… Yes, killing was too good, but it was the only option he had. He moved forward, stealthily… Up ahead was the boat's office. The XO would be in there, working on the day's reports. Nash had nothing against the XO… He was hard working and fair-minded, and generally sympathetic to the men. But even fair-minded Mr. Morton wouldn't stand for what was in Nash's head right now; he would call it murder, even though it was – at worst – justifiable homicide. If justifiable homicide was still even on the books. Nash didn't know… He hadn't heard that anybody had gotten off because of that in forever, but he didn't follow Court TV, so what did he know?
But it was surely justifiable homicide if a man were defending his reputation, his livelihood, everything that mattered in life. He was good at this job; hell, he was the best man on the boat at this job, and everyone knew it. He didn't know why Crane had taken this dislike to him, but he wouldn't cringe like a coward as the captain ruined his life.
Still, it was best not to alert the XO, if he could manage it. Quietly, quietly… He had to make it past the closed door without making a sound. If he were caught at this stage, when he was so close… What would he do if he couldn't finish this? What would be done to him?
Nash shuddered, thinking about that. What would be done to him? Crane would have him thrown in the brig, probably… No one would speak up for him. They were all whispering about him anyway. No telling what lies Crane had spread around the boat about him. But when he was helpless in the brig, what would these people who worshipped Crane do to him? He'd never looked farther than the shot he was prepared to fire, but if he missed…
If he missed, he wouldn't live to see Santa Barbara again. That much was sure. Someone would do for him, on Crane's command, and the captain would never spare another thought for it. He wouldn't be brought to justice either, because no one would dare go up against the admiral's golden boy… It wasn't fair…
Nash paused guiltily outside the office door; a new policy instituted after the Kelly fiasco meant that the office door was locked whenever the XO was in there alone. The officer hated it, but to Nash's mind it was a plus. If he were heard, it would take the XO a few seconds to get up, get to the door, and unlock it. Not enough time to stop him. But still… He didn't want to deal with that complication. He wanted to kill Crane, to make sure that everything went back to the way it was before Crane had ever come. But if the XO came through that door and tried to stop him, he might have to kill again… And he didn't want to do that. Nash eased carefully by the office door and stepped into the Control Room. To his left was the radio shack, tucked at the back of the control room. No one in the room had noticed him yet…
And there, at the plot table was his target. Captain Lee Crane, Mr. High and Mighty… Nash drew the gun from the pocket of his jumpsuit, still striving to control his anger. Ever since he'd learned that Crane was planning to dismiss him, that he was about to lose his berth on this boat and the exceptional pay that kept his family solvent, even with Mary undergoing treatment for cancer and his sister, Sharon, living with them since her husband had died… His financial responsibilities had tripled, but as long as he had his berth on this boat, Admiral Nelson's generous insurance plan covered Mary, and the pay allowed them to live fairly well, even with the three of them cramped together in the Nash apartment.
But all that would change when Crane had his way… It wouldn't matter that Nash was a plank-owner, either. No one would care that Crane wasn't even part of the original crew. He came on after Captain Phillips' death, and here he was, lording it over them all. What made him think he could dismiss Nash?
Oh, yes, he was fortunate that man – that Mr. Pem - had sought him out after they'd left port, and told him everything. How Crane was plotting against him; how the others would back Crane up, but the whole idea was Crane's. Of course, the rest would back him up. He was the captain. If he could do this to Nash, why couldn't he do it to others? Why couldn't he do it even to the officers? No one would speak up for Nash against Crane while Crane had the admiral's ear, not even the men who had the most reason to speak up for Nash. Hadn't he saved the COB's life? But Sharkey wouldn't go against the captain. Hadn't his exceptional radar skills impressed the XO on more than one occasion? But Mr. Morton wouldn't disobey a direct order from the captain.
They would have been infinitely better off if the admiral hadn't brought Crane on board. Yes, perhaps the XO had been a bit too young to have command of a boat like this, but it was Nelson's boat. He could have gone his own way, and no one would have challenged him. And even so, there were plenty of other COs who could have taken Seaview on… Why Crane? That first trip out, no one had even liked him…
A herald of change, obviously. As soon as Crane had come on board, everything had changed… The formerly tight crew had begun to whisper… They'd started shutting Nash out, even then, four years ago. And the officers became lax with discipline, allowing the men to talk, ignoring the whispers, even laughing at them. And now Nash was on the verge of dismissal, and he didn't even know why Crane had targeted him…
So there was only one way; that Mr. Pem had been quite clear on that. Only one way to save himself, and that was to get rid of Crane… The man had even given him the means to do it. When Crane was dead, the admiral would listen to reason. He'd see that Nash was a valuable member of the crew; he'd remember why Nash had been chosen in the first place…
Nash moved forward a step and took aim. One of the junior officers – O'Brien, it was, on the watch officer's platform, just forward of the twin periscopes – saw him and moved toward him, but it was too late now. "Captain!"
Yes, that's it, captain, look up. Time to realize that you're going to die… Nash smiled and pulled the trigger, exulting as the roar sounded through the control room. Crane stiffened, and a small bit of red blossomed on the front of his uniform. Sharkey leaped for Nash, and carried him to the deck, and Nash struggled under him, needing to know if he had succeeded. "Let me up! Damn it, is he dead? There wasn't enough blood, was there? He has to be dead!" But if there wasn't enough blood… It would be Nash himself who was dead… And who would look after Mary then, who would take care of Sharon, then? Oh, God, Crane had to be dead…