I might have some trouble starting this off.. I've always had a problem with keeping up with a story, and I normally get really bad writeres block.. No promises starting… NOW.

I can't promise I'll finish this.

But I would really appreciate hearing what you think of the little I write.

PS… I havent written anything.. Hp or my own… in a long time.

Chapter 1

Drink up that last bit of Regret.

In a large club in New York, on any given night, you can find Harry Potter sitting by himself on a bar stool, listening to the loud techno and rap, completely oblivious to the girls in revealing clothes strolling around. He'll quickly take a gulp of his drink of choice, rum and coke, before continuing his oblivious stare at the 50 or so bottles of alcohol starting at him from behind the bar tender who strolls over to him after giving a group of girls their drinks.

"Once more, Tracy" Harry says, before she can ask.

"Harry," Tracy replies, trying to sound caring but not curious, "You've really had enough tonight. You've been drinking for 4 hours straight, I doubt you could walk if you bothered to get up."

"You… You have no idea what you're talking about. Just fill it. Less coke this time."

"Harry, you're a great customer, and you tip great, but you really should go. Or I could give you a water and you could stay here. You'd be able to get home without passing out in the gutter this time."

"Please Tracy. Just one more."

"Not this time Harry. I'll call security if I have to again. Now please go home.

'Damn bitch,' Harry thought as he stood from the stool and nearly trampled on a couple dancing. Their shinning faces, filled with lust, longing and their cheeks burnt from the liquor running through their systems mocked him.

Without taking a look back, he tried the best he could to find his way through the crowd without being knocked over.

After leaving the club and beginning to walk home, Harry realized just how cold it was. It was the end of November, and the air was a mean 17 degrees.

He found his scraggily apartment in surprisingly little time. He climbed the 5 levels of stairs to the top where he somehow managed to find his key and get it into the lock.

His flat was a mess. His kitchen was overflowing with dishes, while the living room had piles and piles of Daily Prophet's scattered on the couch and coffee table. Harry ignored the mess, as always, and found his way to his bed where he collapsed on top the comforter and looked at his clock which told the date. He'd been 22 for nearly 3 hours. "Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday dear Harry. Happy birthday to me." and finally, the darkness took him.

The sunlight hit him at 1 O'clock the next day. Groaning, Harry opened his eyes. Grudgingly, he got up to relieve his aching bladder. After that, he went to his couch and began looking through the papers, scanning the date of each one. After several minutes of searching, he got up and retrieved a beer from the fridge before continuing his search. A bottle of beer always was the best medicine for a hangover.

Finally, after another ten minutes, he found the paper he was looking for. The date, 5 years previous, July 31st. Harry sat there for at least ten minutes, just staring at the front page, which was a picture of himself being inducted into the Auror training program. After finishing his looking, he set down the paper and went into his room and laid down on his bed, brooding over the picture in the paper and wondering how he'd gotten where he was now.

"Ginny… I can't do this anymore" He said, though his heart fought every word coming from his mouth.

She'd been laughing at something her friend had just said, and her eyes still glowing, she'd turned her head. "What, Harry?" She said off handedly.

"We need to talk" He said, before grabbing her hand and apparating out of the Three Broomsticks and back to the flat they shared.

Surprised at what had just happened, and rightfully so, Ginny's eyes were ablaze and her cheeks, which were already red from the cold night and a few butterbeers, were now becoming beat red with anger. "Bloody hell Harry, why the hell did you do that? With out even asking?"

"Ginny…" Harry said with as much of his Gryffindor courage as he could muster. "I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"This. Us. Any of this."

Ginny was clearly taken aback. "Where did this come from? When did you decide this?"

"I've," he hesitated, "I've been thinking about it for awhile."

"So what do you mean?"

"Ginny.. I haven't been completely honest with you. A couple of weeks back you asked if I was happy. I lied. Because I wanted to make you happy. In all honesty, I'm a wreck. I feel like there's nothing to live for now. I told you before that I felt like every moment of my life was leading up to Voldemorts downfall. And now that it's happened.. Now that it's been a year and I've been going on with Auror training.. I can't deal with it. I feel empty inside. Even with you. I just feel like something's missing."

Harry had been staring at the floor through his words. At the end speaking, he saw a single drop fall to the floor which he was sure had come from Ginny's eyes. But she hid it well. By the time he'd looked up he would never have known she was crying, but she looked very upset none the less.

"So you're saying I'm not enough Harry? That I can't make you happy?" Dispite all of her self control, Ginny began to break down.

"Ginny, please. It's not you. You know it's not you." He went to embrace her but she pulled back and immediately regained her composure, careful to stop her tears from falling to the floor.

"Because that isn't the oldest line in the book." She said coldly.

"I'm not using it as a line!" he shouted. "I'm going to get away, Ginny. I'm moving to New York. I'm already packed. I haven't told anyone about this. Not even Ron or Hermione. I planned on telling you tomorrow right before I left, but I just had to tell you. I couldn't hold it in anymore"

"Just go then. Find me when you grow up and plan on sticking around when you ask a girl to marry you. Oh never mind, don't. Because by the time you 'find yourself,' I'll probably have found 'myself' with someone else." And with that, she'd apparated. He didn't know where she'd gone. The only thing he knew was that he had to leave. And fast.

His mind stopped reeling as he finally realized his mistake. He'd never been with any other girl since he'd left his flat with Ginny. Maybe he did need to 'find' himself. But he needed to do it with her by his side. He only had one prayer. That she hadn't found someone else.

What do you think?

I can totally see it going somewhere.. No promises yet though.

PLEASE REVIEW!! EVEN IF YOU HATED IT!